Darkness Before Dawn
by Victorious-FutureFictions
Summary: Series1/4 FutureFiction: Sequel to Louder Than Silence: I woke up to a bright sun shining into my eyes. I had a headache out of this world and couldn't remember a thing. I turned over in a bed that clearly didn't belong to me and memories of last night didn't cross my mind until I realized who's bed I was in and why my body wore no clothes.
1. You Only Live Once

**IMPORTANT TO NEW READERS:**** This is part 4 of a series so if you are seeing this story for the first time I highly recommend you start off with my story An Undefeated Battle and go from there; if not...you will be so lost... Anyways Thanks to all my followers since An Undefeated Battle. You guys are awesome. Without your reviews and positive words I probably wouldn't have even wrote this far! **

**I do hope you enjoy this last story of the small series, it will be the last. Thanks again to everyone. I love you guys!**

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**Darkness Before Dawn**

Chapter 1

_You Only Live Once_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

_1 Month Later_

**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**

I reached over and slammed my hand on my alarm clock knocking it to the floor.

"Shit." I said under my breath as the alarm clock made an even louder noise before I picked it up and threw it against the wall causing it to break.

I sighed before I yanked my covers off and threw my legs out of the bed.

"Shiloh! You okay up there!?" I heard Tori yell from downstairs, but I'm not going to answer. I guess she'll just have to worry.

I opened my door and walk lazily to the bathroom literally running to Jade on the way.

"What was that noise?"

"I don't know you tell me?" I said with a tilt of my head.

"Get ready for school you're not going to be late today."

"Don't it look like that's what I'm doing!? That loud ass alarm clock is now broken, so I suggest you get me another one."

"Shiloh what did I just get done telling you yesterday!?"

"Don't know, don't care." I said with a yawn and a stretch before I turned to go to the bathroom before she grabbed me and turned me around.

"Shiloh it's been a month. I know you're still upset but I'm not going to sit here and let you keep talking to me and Tori anyway you want!"

I crossed my arms. "What are you going to do about it if I do? Smack me? Go ahead Jade. Smack me."

Jade put her fingers to the bridge of her nose as she put her head down and whispered to herself before she looked back up at me again. "Get ready now." She said with a point of her finger before she stormed off downstairs.

I smiled. "Yeah that's what I thought." I said to myself as I stepped in the bathroom to get ready for school.

* * *

**[Stallone's POV]**

"You should try to get out of this house you know? Come to school."

Evelyn shook her head. "No."

"You can't just sit here forever."

"Don't tell me what I can do Stallone. Just go since you want to go to school so bad."

"Evelyn, I want to stay with you all day I really do, but I have to get back to school. I think you should too. You need to get out."

"You need to get out of my face right now. Bye Stallone."

I sighed. "I love you, I'll see you after school."

"Yeah I bet."

I rolled my eyes before I stood up and walked out of the house that belong to her uncle.

Evelyn is so pissed at me for wanting to return to school today. Matter of fact, she's been pissed at me for every little thing I do. I can agree with her and she still is mad at me and I understand that but _damn_. She still cries. A lot. Way more than she should….well….I guess there's no limit on how much someone should cry, but you think she would be getting a little better by now but she's not. She stays in that room. She never leaves. If she's not crying she's either yelling at me or staring at a wall. I think she needs some help. A counselor or someone professional to talk to.

_**New Text Message**_

_**Sender: Tori**_

Tori: When are you going to stop by and see us? We miss you.

Me: I don't know. I've been busy with work school, and Evelyn….

Tori: How about you come see your sister.

Me: I'll see her when I see her. She's alright.

Tori: Stallone when's the last time you've even seen her?

Me: Idk….3 weeks ago?

Tori: Just stop by we miss you. You still have a family over here you know!

Me: Yeah, yeah Tori. I'll try to.

I threw my phone in my pocket as I pulled up at school.

_Oh my lifeeee…._

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

"Here." My mom said as she handed me my bag for school. "I'll see you there."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Yeah." She said before she turned to walk to the kitchen.

Ever since Sunshine got sick and passed my mom has treated me differently. It's like she knows I'm alive now. She never goes an extra mile or anything and she can still be really into herself a lot, but she doesn't completely ignore me anymore and I really enjoy that she doesn't.

I stepped outside to see Marcus leaning up against my car.

"Hey beautiful." He said before I blushed. Good thing my skin was a little dark or he could probably see how red I got every time he said something like that.

I walk over and plant a small kiss on his lips. "Hey."

Marcus and I have been dating for the past couple of weeks. He didn't ask in a fancy romantic dinner type of way, but he asked the question one day as we took a simple walk in the park…

* * *

"_So um…Bailey."_

"_Yes?" I said as I turned to him._

"_So uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked down as if he were really nervous._

"_What's wrong?" I asked as grabbed both of his hands._

_He looked down into my eyes before he slowly lifted his hand to my chin. He lifted my head up a little before he brought his lips to mine softly. _

_A feeling I can't explain shot through my whole body. I never kissed anyone before. _

_I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip._

_What do I do!? I don't know how to kiss! What if I'm terrible?_

_My lips started to quiver as he pulled away. _

"_I'm sorry….I never….I don't know how.." I stuttered._

_He smiled. "It's fine, do you want me to show you?"_

_I opened my mouth but no words came out. I just nodded._

_He leaned it again and met my lips as soft as he did the first time. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip again before he whispered "open" into the kiss._

_I did as I was told before I felt his tongue slip into my mouth meeting my steal one. I mean I've seen kissing movies, so I guess I'll just do what I've seen right?_

_I started to move my tongue around with his and instantly the kiss got a little more forceful and I didn't mind. _

_My mind was going crazy. This is something I've never experienced before and it feels….so good._

_I let out a small moan, something I didn't intend to do what-so-ever, by body just did it on its own and that's when I pulled away because it scared me. _

_I smiled. "Wow."_

"_You're not bad at all for it to be your first time." He smiled in which I smiled wider._

"_So I was just wondering…you know we've been talking and stuff for a little while and I really, really do like you Bailey."_

_I nodded. "I like you too."_

"_So I was just wondering, if….you know…you want to be my girl?"_

_My heart stopped. _

_What?_

"_Ar…are you asking me to, to go out with you?"_

_He nodded. "If that's cool with you?"_

"_Like, you want me to be your, your girlfriend?"_

_He chuckled. "Yeah I really do. You're a very sweet pretty girl Bailey. I don't see why you are single in the first place."_

_I put my head down. "Some guys just don't like me."_

_He lifted my head up to meet his eyes. "Well this one does."_

_I smiled._

"_So what's it going to be?"_

_I nodded. "I would love to be your girlfriend." Wow it feels weird saying that._

"_That's good cause I'd love to be your boyfriend." He mocked playfully and I laughed._

"_So what now?" I asked._

_He grabbed my hand before he kissed me on the cheek. "Now you can go change your single status on the slap." He laughed._

_Wow I have…I have a boyfriend! Oh my god… _

* * *

"You want me to take you to school?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Naw it's okay. My bus should be here any minute. Thanks though. I just wanted to say good morning."

I smiled. "Well good morning to you too."

"Hey I'll see you after school okay."

"Okay."

With that he gave a small wave before heading across the street to his bus stop.

_It feels so good to have…..this._

* * *

**[Shiloh's POV]**

"Shiloh can you read the next paragraph." My teacher asked.

I didn't even know what page we were on.

"No."

She looked out of the top of her glasses. "Shiloh everyone has read. You have to read too."

"Yeah, but I'm not." I said as I picked my nails.

She sighed. "Shiloh, please try. It's an easy grade. All you have to do is read."

"And here's an easy answer…Noooo." I rolled my eyes.

She sighed again before she moved onto the next person to read.

**DING, DING, DING**

_Finally._

I gathered my shit before I stood up and started to head out of class.

"Shiloh wait."

_Ughhh what now!?_

"What?" I turned to her irately.

"Shiloh you can't just give up in my class. I know your-"

"-Stop. I don't want to hear it. I've heard the speech from all my teachers already."

"You were my best student. When will-"

"-Dude what did I just say?"

She shook her head. "Have a good day Ms. West."

With that I turned to leave.

"Hey Shiloh."

I turned to see Bailey running up to me. "You should sit with us today."

"No." I said as I threw a piece of gum in my mouth.

"You never talk to us anymore. It's like we don't exist."

"I'm talking to you now." I crossed my arms.

"Sit with us at lunch."

"Who the hell is _us_?"

"Me, Daren, Genesis, your real friends."

"You're my cousin not my friend, I don't call Daren a friend and I barely even know Genesis."

"I'm still your friend Shiloh."

I looked at the time. "Are you done yet because I have somewhere to be."

She shook her head. "Bye Shiloh."

I walked out of the front doors of the school and knocked on the window of the big truck.

The door swung open. "There you are! Get in." I claimed in before I moved to the small back seat of the truck.

Vince started it up and sped off as Rynina passed me an already half smoked blunt.

"Dude yall couldn't wait for me!?" I stated as I puffed it.

"Come here." Tech said as he pulled me on top of him.

He tried to grab the blunt in which I pulled away. "Hell naw the rest is mine."

I puffed again in which he grabbed my face and pulled me towards his lips inhaling the smoke from my mouth before it turned into a forceful kiss. Our tongues fight against each other as his hands went to my ass giving it a squeeze making me moan.

"Hey! Yall get a room for that!" Rynina yelled from the front.

I smiled as I removed myself from him.

Tech and I are….I wouldn't say dating, but we are friends with benefits…..a lot of benefits.

He rolls with Vince and Rynina and is also Goth Well I can't say I'm not either. Since I've been hanging with them I swear my outfits just got darker and darker. I got a nose piercing just last Friday and a tattoo my parents don't know shit about on my upper back.

I like the group. I never noticed how boring my life was until I started hanging with them. Yeah we do things we shouldn't do…..so what? I don't give two shits.

_You only live once bitch…._

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**Thanks for reading! REVIEW! Pleaseee :)**


	2. Sunshine…Sunshine Who?

Chapter 2

_Sunshine…Sunshine Who? _

**[Bailey's POV]**

"I'm home is anyone else?" I called out as I walked in the front door. I forgot to check to see if my mom was there but most likely she isn't.

"In the kitchen!" I heard her yell back.

_Well I guess she is here…._

I walked into the kitchen to see her stirring something on the stove.

"Ummm what are you doing?"

She smiled. "I'm making some really good spaghetti!"

"For you?"

"No." She frowned. "For us."

"You." I pointed. "You are cooking dinner for us? As in for me and you? Like…I'm included?"

She frowned again. "Yes. It'll be ready soon. Go put your things away."

I turned to go to my room to put my bag down and get settled and before I knew it she was calling me to eat.

I walked into the dining room to see a bowl of food sat out on the table for me.

_Wow….c'mon this has to be a dream….._

I watched as she came and sat down at the table as well.

"That's yours." She said pointing to the bowl. It looked delicious.

"Who taught you how to cook?" I Joked.

She made a face. "I just so happen to be the best in cook in L.A. I don't see why they won't just give me my own cooking show, but you know….whatever!" She said waving it off.

I sat down and took a bite.

_It was delicious!_

"Wow this is really good!"

She smiled confidently. "Well duh, I made it."

I stopped eating. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I wanted some and-"

"-no, why, why are you all of a sudden….being….like…sort of like…my…"

"-Mother?" She finished for me.

My eyes got a little wide as I nodded.

She sighed.

"I guess it scared me. You know, Sunshine."

"What do you mean?"

She looked down as she gave a long pause. "I guess it hit me….reality, that…tomorrow isn't promised. I witnessed the funeral of a little girl, the same age as mine and her mother wasn't even there you know? It had me thinking how in the world someone could not be there for their child and it hit me again."

She paused again as I stayed quiet waiting for her to say more.

"Bailey I'm sorry. I know I probably haven't been the best mom to you and I just want to make it up. I know I can't fix 16 years and I'm so sorry. Tori talked to me one night as well. She sort of opened my eyes a little bit but I didn't really listen to her until the incident. You're my daughter. My baby girl. I know you may not think it, but if I lost you…I really don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't be able to live with myself anymore."

"I want to start over. I know I'm late, but please give me a chance. No matter what I've said to you over the years, I do, I really do love you Bailey. I love you with all my heart, and I've never really shown it."

I watched as two tears from my mother's eyes. I didn't even know she knew how to cry!

"I'm so sorry Bailey."

Me being the sensitive girl that I am started crying. I never in a million years thought I would hear this. This is something I've waited and prayed for all my life and here it is. Here she is. This…this is my mother. Everyone makes mistakes. It's hard for me to hold a grudge against someone for their wrong doing because I wouldn't want someone holding one against me and of course I forgive her and I give her a chance. She will always have a chance.

I smiled.

I'm so excited to see what a mother I have and I hope to God she means what she said to me because if not, I would be heartbroken.

"I love you." Was all I managed to say before I threw myself onto her giving her a tight hug in which she hugged me back just as tight. I can't believe I'm even getting a hug from her right now, and it feels so good!

I don't think she realized that I wasn't 5 years old when she gave me a kiss on my lips but it didn't matter. If that's her way of showing me that she loves me and that she means it, it's fine.

There's no greater feeling then the feeling of having someone who loves you..

_Someone like your own mother…._

* * *

**[Shiloh's & Roxy's Text]**

Roxy: Shilloh?

Shiloh: What? And why do you have two L's in my name?

Roxy: Typo sorry. What are you doing Thursday since there's no school?

Shiloh: Sleeping.

Roxy: All day?

Shiloh: From dawn until dusk.

Roxy: Come to lunch with me?

Shiloh:…..why?

Roxy: Because I want to go somewhere Thursday and everyone is busy and did you not say that we could hang out anytime?

Shiloh: Did I tell you that…?

Roxy: You did.

Shiloh: I lied too quick….

Roxy: C'mon Shiloh, you should get out anyways.

Shiloh: I get out a lot thank you very much.

Roxy: So Thursday at 12:00pm?

Shiloh: No.

Roxy: Okay, I'll be there to pick you up.

Shiloh: I don't remember agreeing to this….?

Roxy: You just did.

Shiloh:…When?

Roxy:FWD:** I** don't remember **agree**ing **to this**….?

Shiloh: Lmao! Wow you did the most….alright since you made me laugh….

Roxy: So you will go?

Shiloh: Don't ask again or I'll change my mind…

Roxy: (smiling emoticon) it's a date.

Shiloh: Date?

Roxy: No…not a date-date, a date…shut up…

Shiloh: Hmmmm a dateeeeee

Roxy: (straight face emoticon)

Shiloh: We should go on a play date.

Roxy: Have you lost it?

Shiloh: I'll dress nice (winking emoticon)

Roxy: It's not a date.

Shiloh: Just play along…

Roxy: Shiloh it's not a date.

Shiloh: (smiling emoticon) Well I'll see you Thursday_ baby_.

Roxy:….really Shiloh….chill.

Shiloh: Hope you're taking me some place nice for our first _date_.

Roxy: It's not a date! I just want lunch and didn't want to go alone!

Shiloh: Mhm…see you Thursday. (winking emoticon)

Roxy:…..what have I gotten myself into…..

* * *

**[Tori's POV]**

_Tuesday Night_

"Where the hell is she!?" Jade said as she paced back and forth in the living room. Shiloh's curfew is 9:00pm on a school night and the time now reads 1:08am.

She won't answer her phone, she won't text back, her friends have no idea where she is and Jade is going crazy.

"Baby calm down-"

"-I'm not going to calm down Tori! Where the hell is my daughter! She's never been this late!"

I looked down. I have to admit I was scared too.

Jade goes crazy every time she doesn't hear from Shiloh for longer than 4 hours. She always has these theories of what might have happened to her, then she goes into this panic state where she starts calling all the hospitals and crying. This is something she's never done. It didn't start until we lost Sunshine.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

Jade ran to the door and swung it open as I walked up behind her.

"She belong to you?" One of the two policemen said as they stood behind Shiloh.

"Thank God." Jade said as she grabbed Shiloh into a tight hug giving her a kiss on top of her head.

"What happened?" I asked as I took a step closer.

"Shiloh and some of her friends decided they wanted to egg cars that passed an alley off of Sunset. One happened to be an undercover police car." He said pointing outside to his car which was covered in raw eggs.

"Officer I am so, so sorry about her. We lost a family member recently and it's taking a toll on her."

He nodded. "I understand. Don't let it happen again. You all have a nice night."

"You too. I am sorry again." I said as they walked off the porch.

I closed the door to turn around and see Jade change from her her motherly panic stage into a pit of rage one.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" Jade said threw gritted teeth.

Shiloh sighed and rolled her eyes in which Jade grabbed her face and yanked it towards her. "I asked you a question!"

"I don't know!" Shiloh yelled back as she yanked her face from Jade's hand.

Jade stared at her for a good moment before she spoke.

"You lose your car."

"What!? How will I get to school!"

"I will take you. There and home! That's it!"

"But that's not fair!"

"Life's not fair! Get upstairs and go to bed right now!"

"-But"

"NOW!"

Shiloh stared at Jade as if she were deciding whether or not to talk back.

"Fuck you." She said as she turned to walk away.

"Wait..wait…excuse me?" Jade said as she grabbed her arm.

"-Jade…" I said to calm her because I knew what was to come next.

"-Tori shut up!" Jade yelled at me as she pointed a finger as if I were a child.

I lifted a brow and crossed my arms.

She turned back to Shiloh. "What did you say!? Say it again! I dare you!"

Shiloh swallowed but kept quiet.

Within a second Jade brought her hand back and back slapped Shiloh on the side of her face causing her to fall onto the floor.

"Jade!" I scream out.

"Bet you won't say it again. Go. To. Bed. Now!" She said as I watched Shiloh's stand up in rage and speed upstairs to her room with a slam of her door.

"Was that necessary!?" I yelled at her.

"Tori when will you fucking learn!? I'm not going to let her keep doing shit like this and get away with it anymore!"

"I don't even think she knows what she is doing Jade! She's clearly not in her right mind! She just lost someone! I think she's lost! She doesn't know what to do with herself. Maybe if you talk to her instead of smack her around all the damn time things wouldn't be as bad as they are!"

"Fine _you_ go talk to her then! I'm done!" She said as she used her hands to make the done signal.

"Done with what Jade!? Being the mother of your daughter!? Everything is all about discipline to you isn't it? She needs you Jade, because she won't listen to me! She'll listen to you, but all you do is….this. I'm so disappointed in you."

Jade's faced cleared as if something I said hit a soft spot and god I hope it did.

"I need to think." She said as she grabbed her jacket and her keys by the door.

"Oh so you are going to pull this again? You're just going to leave me?"

"Tori no….No." She said softer as she walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. She pulled out of the hug before she placed a hard kiss on my lips. "I love you. It's not you. I just need to…I don't know. Think. I'll be back okay." She gave me another kiss softer this time before she turned to leave closing the front door roughly behind her.

* * *

**[Shiloh's POV]**

I sat on my bed as tears filled my eyes but I would be damned if I let them fall. I'm not going to cry, fuck crying.

I took a deep breath as I held everything in and my eyes finally dried without a single tear to escape.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

_Ughhhhhh!_

"What!"

"Can I come in?" I heard Tori's soft voice from the other side of the door.

"No!"

"Please?"

"I said no! Everybody leave me alone!"

"Jade doesn't mean to hurt you Shiloh."

"I don't care! Leave!"

"Will you talk to me please?"

"Talk about what!?"

"Anything you want."

"How about we talk about you leaving the outside of my door!"

I heard her give a sigh. "I love you Shiloh. I'll see you in the morning."

With that I heard her footsteps walking away before I threw my back down on my bed.

I turned my head to see a pink bear. Sunshine's pink bear with Ke'Mo knitted to its stomach.

I grabbed the bear before I punched it and threw it across the room.

The bear is the only thing that had kept out after I packed up every little thing down to Sunshine's toothbrush into a box and put it in the basement.

I didn't want to have anything to do with her. I just want to forget any and everything that ever happened. I want to pretend I never met her. Then I won't have to feel it. I won't have to feel that pain, that pain that eats me from the inside out every time someone mentions her name.

I can't help the old memories that creep into my mind from time to time and I hate when they do. I just want to be brain washed. Get amnesia. I don't want to remember. I don't want to hurt.

So that's what I do.

I don't remember Sunshine and I won't.

_Sunshine…..Sunshine who?_

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**Thanks for reading! Please Review! Thanks for all the reviews on the first chapter! You guys are great! :)**_  
_


	3. Life Throws All Kinds of Curve Balls

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys!**

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Chapter 3

_Life Throws All Kinds of Curve Balls_

**[Andre's & Beck's Text]**

Andre: Hey man. How's it going?

Beck: It's going okay. What about you?

Andre: It's going good. Have any of you guys heard from Cat yet?

Beck: Nan, the police won't even look for her anymore. They tried to explain something about searching for people who are on drugs and how they only search for so long and blah blah blah…

Andre: This is crazy man. When and if we do find her…how will she get the news?

Beck: I really don't know man. We have to get her in rehab first though. It's not something to just blurt out you know?

Andre: Yeah. How's her son?

Beck: He's doing okay. He really misses his family.

Andre: I'm sure he does. Cat has to be around here somewhere. It just ain't like her. I can't believe what she's doing to herself…

Beck: I can't either Andre…I can't either. Hopefully we can find her soon. I hope she's alright. That's my main concern..

Andre: I think she's okay. Nobody would have the heart to hurt her….I hope.

Beck: I hope you're right.

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

"What am I doing here?" I asked myself as I sat on the ground in the dark in front of Sunshine's grave.

I sighed. "You know some people believe that when someone dies they watch over their family. Do you believe that? Is it true?" I paused as if I was going to hear an answer.

"Things aren't going good Sunshine. Shiloh….she's just….she needs you. I mean I don't mean to hit her, but maybe it will knock some sense back into her head. Can you see her? Do you see the things she is doing?...What do I do Sunshine? You always have answers, why are you so quiet now?"

I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes and slid slowly down my face. I had my share of crying but I only let a few tears fall at a time so I could stay strong for everyone around me, but I don't think I can hold it in much longer.

I know I didn't raise Sunshine. I know she's not my real daughter, but the short time she's lived with us and the past years I've known her she's just grown onto me. There was something about Sunshine that was different than any other person I have ever met in my entire life. When she was around, she made me want to smile, she made me want to laugh, it's like literally the world was brighter whenever I was around her.

And now….it's like…why? Why? Why would something like this happen? How could something like this happen to such a beautiful little girl. My heart aches. It always hurts to lose someone, but there's just that extra tug on my heart knowing that I've lost Sunshine; knowing I can't wake up tomorrow morning to see her smiling face and positive attitude, knowing I can't tell her goodnight at night before she goes to bed; knowing I will never speak to her again. It hurts and it's taken until now to take over me as my face lays on her cold gravestone with tears falling from my eyes at 100 mph.

"Excuse me Ma'am…ma'am." I heard a sharp voice say through the loudness of my sobs.

"What!?" I yelled out as I wiped my eyes.

"I'm sorry but the cemetery is closed. You can't be here right now." The officer said as she shined a bright light into my face.

"You have 2 seconds to get that light out of my face before I shove it up your ass."

The officer sighed as she shined the flashlight away from my face.

"C'mon." She held out her hand to help me up in which I ignored and stood up on my own.

"Someone very close to you?" She asked as she walked with me back to my car.

"My daughter."

"I'm so sorry for your loss." She said in a sincere voice.

Once we reached my car I pulled out my keys and opened the door before I hopped in.

"Have a good night miss." The officer stated as she closed my door for me.

"Shut the fuck up." I said under my breath as I started my car and drove off.

I didn't want to go home. Not now, not yet, but where to go? Cat is officially out of the question. Andre? No not for this….Trina? Why do I even know her name?

I sighed. There's only one person left.

I pulled up in front of the house about 10 minutes later before I hopped out of the car quickly and walked to the front door giving it a hard bang.

The door swung open and I immediately walked in without even a glance at whoever opened it.

"Jade?" Roxy said as she closed the door. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, where's Beck?"

"Daddy!" She yelled out without taking her eyes off of me. "Why have you been crying?"

"Roxy stop asking me questions."

"Yeah?" Beck said as he walked into the living room.

He took once glance at me before he turned to Roxy. "Hey go upstairs Roxy."

"Ughh why?"

Beck shot her a look in which she threw her hands up and flew upstairs.

He walked over to me and pulled be back into his den. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head.

"Is it Tori? Did you guys fight?"

I shook my head again.

"Shiloh? Stallone?"

I shook my head with a shrug of my shoulders as tears filled my eyes again.

"Is it Sunshine?"

I choked at the sound of her name as the tears that were forced to stop earlier returned.

"C'mon." Beck said as he grabbed me into a tight hug. I let out a deep cry as my eyes pinned closed and my teeth sunk into his shoulder.

I felt his hand come up and stroke the back of my head as I choked more on my own tears. "Shhhh. It's okay." He said in a soothing voice.

I felt like a fucking wimp, and the more I tried to stop myself the more the tears flowed. It hurts. It hurts bad. I never felt something like this. I've never lost someone so close to me. I can barely even take it.

We stood like that for what seemed like days before I finally calmed down. He slightly pulled back so he could hold my face in his hands.

"You alright?"

I nodded as I wiped the rest of the lingering tears from my face. I have to admit I feel a little better.

"Here, sit down." He said leading me to the small couch. He walked away for a moment before returning with a glass of water that he handed over to me.

I stared at the water and I twirled the cup playing around with the ice.

"It caught up with you." He spoke as he sat down beside me.

I nodded.

"You should never hold things in."

I finally took a sip of the water before putting it down.

"You would just never think something like this would happen." I spoke slow in a near whisper.

"Life throws all kinds of curve balls. This has to be the biggest one yet. You are very strong Jade."

"Shiloh is the strong one. She hasn't even shed a tear, or at least she hasn't in front of us." I shook my head. "She's losing it Beck. She's doing things she shouldn't, she skips school, hangs out with the wrong crowd. She has this new Goth look going on, she talks back to me and Tori like we aren't shit; she just doesn't give a damn anymore….I'm starting to think that when Sunshine died….she took my Shiloh with her."

Beck put his arm around me as he gave me a kiss on my head. "I noticed the way she acted at the funeral. Shiloh is going to break one of these days too Jade and I have a feeling when she does, she'll be back to her normal self. She's just holding things in as well which is probably just making her angry. She's probably trying to be someone she knows she's not so she won't have to deal with anything the real Shiloh has to deal with. She'll come around Jade, don't worry. Just make sure you guys are there."

I sighed again.

"It's really late, does Tori know where you're at?"

I shook my head.

"You just left?"

"No, I told her I was leaving, but I didn't even know where. So I didn't give her a place."

"How about you stay here in the guest room tonight and drive home in the morning. I'll give Tori a call okay."

I nodded. I was exhausted. I just needed sleep.

"Why are you guys up so late anyways?"

Beck rolled his eyes. "Roxy she's been up all night watching some marathon of some reality show and I've just been doing a little cleaning. The boys are pretty messy."

"How's Kulado taking things?"

He looked down. "It's like he doesn't understand. He knows his sister is gone but he still ask when she's coming home every day, same with his mom. Evelyn doesn't come by to see him and I believe he just thinks his family abandoned him. He's such a sweet kid, but he's not…it's like he's not leveled to his age."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he's a 7 year old kid who talks and acts like a 4 year old. There's something not right about him."

"What does his school say?"

"I found out he's in resource classes, but that's pretty much all the info I got from there."

"Did you ask Evelyn?"

"No, I don't want to upset her or anything by asking if her little brother is slow you know?"

I sighed again. "I really don't know Beck."

"I know. I mean he's a really sweet kid though. I love having him around. He's like another son."

I nodded. "I really understand."

Beck grabbed me into another hug before he stood up bringing me up with him.

"C'mon the guest room is upstairs."

I nodded as I followed him.

Once I was settled in the room it didn't take me long at to fall asleep.

"_Hey Jade, you think that before we were humans here on earth that we were here as like a dog or a cat or something?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't know Sunshine maybe."_

"_Ohh maybe I was a Koala Bear!"_

"_A Koala Bear? Is that your favorite animal or something?"_

"_No….hey maybe you were a Lion!"_

_I chuckled. "Why do I have to be a lion and you are a sweet and nice koala bear?"_

"_Koala bears can attack!"_

"_Mhmm."_

"_Orrr maybe, maybe you were like Simba and I was like Kiara!"_

"_Maybe." I kissed her on her forehead. "Goodnight." I said as I stood up and headed for the door._

_She sat up. "Jade?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Can I call you mom, just for tonight?"_

_I paused before I gave a small nod. "Uh…um yeah, I guess…if you want…?"_

_She smiled. "Okay tell me good night again!"_

"_Um..ok. Goodnight Sunshine."_

"_Goodnight mom. I love you."_

_I smiled. "I love you too babe. Get some sleep."_

* * *

**[Shiloh's & Stallone's Text]**

_Wednesday Morning_

Stallone: Yooo Shishizzleeeee

Shiloh: What?

Stallone: Hey what's up how are you?

Shiloh: Why do you care?

Stallone:….dang just wondering….

Shiloh: Leave me the hell alone Stallone. Go be with Evelyn or something…

Stallone: Really Shiloh chill out….what wrong with you?

Shiloh: What's wrong with me!? What's wrong with you!?

Stallone: What?

Shiloh: Forget it.

Stallone: Dude what the hell crawled up your ass this morning?

Shiloh: Hopefully the same thing that will crawl up and bite yours.

Stallone: Why are you being all hateful?

Shiloh: Am I important to you at allll Stallone?

Stallone: Of course you are?

Shiloh: You don't act like it.

Stallone: What do you meannnn?

Shiloh: You are always there with Evelyn, by her side, wiping all her tears…what about your family…..hello!?

Stallone: I've came by to see you!

Shiloh: Yeah once! After the funeral!

Stallone: Shiloh calm downnnn! You are OKAY! Chill the hell out. If you want me to come by fine I will. I'm sorry geez.

Shiloh: Fuck you Stallone. Stay where you are. I don't need you.

Stallone: Then what was the point of all that?

Shiloh: And you said you'd always be here for me….dude bye.

Stallone: Shiloh really?

Stallone: Shiloh omg I'm sorry okay! I didn't know! Evelyn is acting like she is on her fucking death bed and she needed me! You seemed fine….

Stallone: Shiloh! I couldn't be at two places at once! I don't know how to deal with this!

Stallone: Okay silent treatment okay I get it…I deserve it.

* * *

**Thanks for reading everyone! Review please! **


	4. What the Hell?

Chapter 4

_What the Hell?_

**[Tori's POV]**

I woke up to a loud banging sound coming from down the hallway.

_What is that?_

I groaned as I looked over at the time which read 5:04am. I still had almost an hour left of sleep but the noise was constant.

I threw my covers off before I walked out of the door and down the hall.

**BANG, BANG, BUMP**

I followed the noise down to Shiloh's room before I tried to open the door which was locked.

"Shiloh what is that noise!?"

Instantly the banging stopped.

"Shiloh?"

Still there was no answer.

"Shiloh! Open the door!"

The door opened slowly as Shiloh stood staring at me with evil eyes.

I took a step back. "What's going on in there?"

She didn't answer she just kept staring at me which was starting to creep me out.

"Shiloh!"

"Yes?" She said as if nothing was going on.

"What's the matter with you?"

She smiled, but it wasn't a normal smile, it was more like an _I'm hiding something_ type of smile. "Nothing Victoria."

_Victoria? Why?_

"Are you okay?"

She chuckled. "Everything's fine. Relax." Her voice was in an amused/scary type of tone.

_What the hell is wrong with her?_

"Why are you acting so…like that?"

She crossed her arms and lifted a brow. "What_ am_ I acting like? Please inform me?"

I just studied her for a minute as another smile spread across her lips.

"Well I'm going to get ready for school." With that she stepped back to close her room door before I heard a chuckle coming from the other end.

Me: Jadeeee!

MyLove: I'll be home soon.

Me: No! That's not it. Shiloh is….she's like…weird.

MyLove: What do you mean weird?

Me: I woke up to loud banging coming from her room, then when I go talk to her, she was just…acting weird. She was actually scaring me.

MyLove: Tori butterflies scare you.

Me: That was one time! And I'm so serious though.

MyLove: Well I'll text her or something. I just woke up. I'll be there soon.

Me: Jade.

MyLove: What?

Me: I love you.

MyLove: ….I love you too Tori.

Me: Why couldn't you come to me?

MyLove: What?

Me: Why couldn't you come to me? Why did you have to go to Beck?

MyLove: ..I really don't know. I just…I just didn't want to come home is all.

Me: I'm here for you too Jade. Beck told me how you let it out with him last night. I'm just wondering, you know….why him when I'm here.

MyLove: Tori baby, I really don't know. I was just lost…idk my mind wasn't right. I know you're here. I love you so much. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. It wasn't just a plan to leave here and go to him it just happened.

Me: (sighing emoticon)

MyLove: What is it?

Me: I noticed over the years that when something gets hard or too much for you, you run to Beck….it makes me wonder….like, do you think I'm not strong enough for you or something?

MyLove: Baby no! nooo. That's not it. It's not anything.. sometimes I just run away and I always didn't go to Beck. I've been to Cat & Andre too. I just don't like for you to… see me put down. I feel that I shouldn't be crying into your shoulder; that you should be crying into mine.

Me: Jade I'm your wife. We will go through things. I know you're not made of stone. Everyone breaks sometimes even if you think they don't. I want to be that person you run to. I want you to cry on my shoulder if and when you need too. I won't think any less of you if that's what you're thinking. I love you. I want to hold you sometimes, you don't always have to hold me.

MyLove: (kissing emoticon) I love you so much Tori. I'm sorry.

Me: It's fine. Just know I'm here always.

MyLove: I know you are. You're my little Idiot.

Me: (straight face emoticon) (flick off emoticon)

MyLove: Fiesty?

Me: Come home.

MyLove: I'll be there. Love you.

Me: I love you moreee.

MyLove: Ugh don't mess up the moment.

Me: (mad face emoticon) I'll see you!

MyLove: (heart emoticon)

Me: (Heart emoticon)

* * *

**[Jade's & Shiloh's Text]**

Jade: Shiloh.

Shiloh: Yes mother?

Jade: ….what are you doing?

Shiloh: Getting ready for school well of course? Why do you ask?

Jade: Why are you talking like that?

Shiloh: (shocked emoticon) Like what mommy?

Jade: Like _that_.

Shiloh: What ever do you mean?

Jade: What the hell is wrong with you?

Shiloh: Oh just getting ready for school. I feel fine.

Jade: Shiloh this has to stop.

Shiloh: I don't understand?

Jade: Who are you?

Shiloh: Shilene _(shy-lean)_

Jade: Whatt?

Shiloh: I'm Shilene.

Jade: Who the hell is Shilene?

Shiloh: Me silly.

Jade: Have you gone crazy?

Shiloh: (laughing emoticon) No, not the least bit.

Jade: I'll be home in the minute.

Shiloh: Great. I'll see you then. (winking emoticon)

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**

I reached over and gently pushed the button on my alarm clock to turn it off. I sat up as I gave a stretch and a long yawn with a rub of my eyes.

I slid out of my bed before I made my way to my window to get a peak of the early morning sun. I love mornings unlike a lot of people. Watching the sunrise is something that I do sometimes since my window is in the perfect spot for it. It's just so beautiful.

_**New Text Message**_

_**Sender:**_ _**Tori**_

Tori: Bailey you awake?

Bailey: Yes. Good Morning

Tori: Good morning, hey I have a quick question?

Bailey: Yes?

Tori: At school, does Shiloh…act any different?

Bailey: Yes.

Tori: Like how?

Bailey: Well, she doesn't act different, but she doesn't really hang with us anymore. She hangs with those other people; I don't even know their names. She acts like we don't exist almost.

Tori: Ok thanks. Have a good day today okay.

Bailey: Hey Tori?

Tori: Yes?

Bailey: Thanks.

Tori: For what?

Bailey: For being you. (smiling emoticon)

Tori: Lol, not positive what that means, but okay thanks & thanks for being you.

Bailey: (smiling emoticon)

Tori: Get ready for school, don't be late. We'll talk later.

Bailey: Will do.

After I was dressed and ready for school I walked to the kitchen where my mom was bent over the counter top reading something off of her computer before she slammed it shut.

"Uh, hi Bailey." She stated suspiciously.

I titled my head. "What were you doing?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. You hungry? There's some cereal up there. We have milk in the fridge. I'm about to head out. I'll see you at school." She stated as she talked at full speed.

"…uhhh okay."

She grabbed her laptop and walked passed me into the dining room before she sat it down.

"Hey Bailey can I have a hug?"

_How random…_

"Umm sure?"

She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me tight as she ran her hand threw my hair awkwardly.

"_Okayyy_ what _are_ you doing?" I said as I pulled back.

She looked down at her hand as if she lost something.

"I…uh…your hair…is uh…messed up. Let me fix it."

She instantly ran her hand threw my hair again and yanked it once she got to the end causing slight pain.

"Ow! Mom!" I yelled putting my hand to my head.

She put her hands behind her back. "Oh..sorry. It's fixed now." She turned and picked up her laptop before she sped walked to her room to come back out seconds later with her jacket and keys.

"I'll see you soon." With that she was out of the door.

_What the hell was that all about?_

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

"Hey baby." Tori greeted as I walked in the front door.

I took my jacket off before I grabbed her into a quick hug. "Where's Shiloh?"

"In her room."

"I'll be right back." I said as I turned for the stairs but Tori held onto my arm causing me to bounce back to her.

"What?" I asked.

She looked me in my eyes before she gave a small smile. Her lips met mine softly before pulling away.

"Good Morning Jade." She said slowly.

I smiled. "Sorry. Good morning Tori." I gave her a kiss on her face beside her nose. "Did you have a good night?"

She shook her head. "Never without you."

I smirked. "Well isn't that sweet. Not to be rude Tori, I'd love to stay here all morning and sweet talk you, but I need to see what the hell is going on in our daughter's head right now."

She pulled back softly. "Go right ahead."

"Love you." I stated as I turned towards the stairs tripping on my way up.

I heard a chuckle come from Tori.

"There will be payback for laughing."

"Can't wait." Tori yelled after me.

I turned the door knob of Shiloh's room which was locked.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Shiloh open up!"

"What!?

"Don't what me! Open the damn door!"

"What's the magic word?"

"NOW!" I screamed.

I watched as the door flung open as Shiloh stood with her arms crossed and a mug on her face.

"You better clear your face and you better clear it now." I stated through gritted teeth.

Her mug turned into a straight face.

I walked into her room closing the door behind me as I pushed her out of my way.

"Shiloh what the hell is going on with you!?"

She turned away from me in which I grabbed her face and turned it back.

"Shiloh what the hell!? Why are you doing the things you do!? Who is?" I said gesturing to the person that stood in front of me with all black fucking everything. This isn't Shiloh.

"This is the new me, like it or you don't."

"Who the hell is Shilene?"

"The nice girl."

"What?"

"The nice girl." She state again.

"What do you mean the nice girl?" I crossed my arms.

"The nice girl that lives in me."

I stared at her like she was crazy for a minute. "Like an alter-ego or something?"

She shrugged. "You can say that."

"Then who is this I'm looking at?"

"Shantell." _(shan-tell)_

"So why do you answer to Shiloh?"

"Because you didn't know me at first…now you do." She smiled.

I put my hand up as the other one covered my face. _This isn't happening…._

"Shiloh. Stop. Just stop. What the hell? Just…what the hell?"

"It's Shantell."

"Alright _Shantell,_ where's Shiloh?" I decided to play her little game.

"Not around."

"Where is she?"

She shrugged. "Don't know."

"Can you find her?"

"Probably not."

"Why?"

"She might be dead."

It was silent for a minute before I grabbed her hands.

"Shiloh, I know losing Sunshine was-"

She snatched her hands from mine. "Who the hell is Sunshine!?"

My eyes got wide.

"Shiloh-"

"-My name is Shantell! I don't know any Sunshine's…is that even a nameee? Sounds stupid."

"Sh-"

"-I'm late for school. Bye."

With that she pushed passed me and into the hall.

"Wait!" I called after her but she was already down the stairs and heading out of the door. I cursed myself for forgetting to take her keys from her.

"What's going on?" Tori asked as she walked to the stairs.

"I really don't know Tori…."

_I really don't know._

* * *

__**I think Shiloh is going a bit crazy...what do y'all think? **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review! **


	5. It's Not a Date!

Chapter 5

_It's Not a Date!_

**[Evelyn's POV]**

_Thursday Morning_

"C'mon babe, wake up." I felt Stallone shaking me.

I rubbed my eyes. "What?"

"We're going to go out today. Get up."

"Noooo." I wined as I pulled the covers back over my head, but she yanked them back down.

"Frankie said if you don't get out of this bed today, he will do it by force. Baby you can't spend forever grieving. I know you are hurt, we all are, but do you think Sunshine would really want you to be like this? I don't think she would approve. So get your ass up. Now."

A single tear fell from my eye. It hurts to hear her name, it hurts to hear my mom's name, it hurts to hear Kulado's name….damnit it might as well hurt to hear my own name.

Do you know what it's like to lose your perfect family little by little? Every night I would thank God for my family…maybe I thanked Him too much because now it's gone.

Stallone's right. I can't spend forever in this bed but I can't find the strength to move either. Everything hurts. Everything. I just want to be alone. I just want to do everything on my own. I don't need her help getting me out of bed. I don't need her help with anything.

I threw my legs over the side of my bed before I hopped out of it which caused a huge headache to take over me for getting up so fast.

"Here I'll get you something-"

"-No! I can do it myself! Leave me alone." I stated as I pushed passed Stallone and into the bathroom.

She sighed as I slammed the bathroom door.

I looked into the mirror to see a girl who looks nothing like me.

My hair was everywhere and tangled, my eyes were puffy and black, my skin was very pale, and I looked dead. I wish that's what it was. I wish I could just die right now. Just drop dead.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

I groaned. "WHatttttt?"

"You okay in there?"

I growled. "Will you go find something to do and leave me the hell alone!"

She said something back but I didn't even listen. I don't care what she has to say. Stallone can't do anything for me. Why the hell is she even here? I want her to leave. I want her to get out of my face and go home to her perfect little family.

I can't deal with her and deal with this right now. I already told her once I need space, but still, she is constantly by my side. I don't need that. Comfort makes situations worse. She don't listen.

I opened the bathroom door to see her going through my bag before she pulled out an outfit.

"You can wear this."

"Stallone."

"Yea?" She said as she stood up and walked over to me.

She tried to pull me to her but I stepped back.

"What's wrong? You alright?"

I shook my head. "Stallone…maybe we should…take a break."

She tilted her head a bit. "What do you mean?"

"I can't…I can't deal with this….and deal with you. I just need space okay."

"I'm just trying to be here for you…"

"-I know…I know Stallone, but that's..that's not what I need."

"Then what do you need? Whatever you need I can get it for you."

I shook my head. "All I need is for us to take a break."

She looked away for a minute before she turned back to me. "So you're breaking up with me?"

I shook my head. "Noo…yess…no, I don't know Stallone. I just…we need to…I just need to be alone for a little while. Single. I don't want anybody."

She gave a small look of hurt before she erased it off her face. "So will we get back together?"

I sighed. "I don't know Stallone. Just for now, I need to be alone."

"What have I done to you?"

"You haven't done anything. It's not you...it's, it's me. I just can't…deal with it…"

"…deal with what? All I have done was be here for you. I'm doing my job as your girlfriend!"

She yelled which made me jump.

I sighed again. "…Stallone I can't. I'm sorry. I love you. I really do….but…I'm sorry."

She looked down for a minute before she gave a shrug. "Okay…okay fine. Whatever you want. I don't even care." She turned for the door.

"Stallone I'm sorry." I whispered to her.

"I said it's fine. Whatever." With that she was gone.

I let out a huge breath of air as I ran my hand threw my tangled hair.

_She'll be fine…._

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

"Na un! It's black! I've seen it already!" Mike said as I hid a card behind my back failing at a magic trick I was performing to him and Kulado.

"Because you are a cheater!" I laughed.

"Noooo you just suck!" He pointed.

I stuck my tongue out at him in which he did the same.

I turned to Kulado who was sitting with his head down as he played around with the shoe strings of his untied shoe.

"Here." I said as I bent down and tied his shoe for him, but he quickly pulled the string and untied it again.

"I want mommy to tie it." He said with big puppy coffee colored eyes.

"Mommy isn't here right now Kulado." I said to him but he turned away.

"When is she coming to get me?"

I frowned as I gave him a small pat on his back. "Soon okay. Don't worry."

He nodded.

"Now can I tie your shoe?"

He nodded again.

"I know how to tie my own shoes!" Mike said proudly as he untied his shoes and tied them back quickly.

"Well everyone isn't you Mike." I stated as I tied Kulado's shoe.

My dad walked in the room before he ran over to Mike and tackled him onto his small bed causing loud laughter to fill the room.

"Hey you guys want to catch some lunch?"

"Can we get pizza!?" Mike asked as he slid off his bed and stood up.

"Fine with me."

"I'm already going to lunch." I said.

"Really with who?"

"Shiloh."

He lifted a brow. "Really? I didn't know you guys hung out really…"

"..Well we don't much, but I asked if she wanted to go. She maybe needs to get away you know?"

He nodded. "I understand." He walked over to Kulado who was still seated on the floor before he bent over and picked him up.

Kulado is so freaking small for his age. He's like the height of a 4 year old. He's just so darn cuteee."

"Want some pizza little buddy?" Dad asked as he gave his stomach as small shake.

Kulado nodded.

"I call shot gun!" Mike said as he ran from the room.

My dad rolled his eyes playfully. "We'll be back later. Make sure you lock up when you leave."

"Okey dokey."

He gave me a small kiss on my cheek as he walked by with Kulado still in his arms.

"Have a good day Love."

"You too." I smiled as I walked to my room and closed the door.

Me: Are we still on for lunch?

Shiloh: Yes.

Me: I'll be there soon.

Shiloh: Alright.

* * *

I pulled up at Shiloh's house a little after twelve noon.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"I got it!" I heard a voice yelled from inside. The door swung open as Tori stood there with a smile.

"Hi Roxy, come in."

"Hi Tori." I greeted as I stepped inside.

"How've you been? I haven't seen you in a while."

I shrugged. "I'm alright. Same ole. How about yourself?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. What brings you by?"

"Oh Shiloh and I are going to go to lunch. I thought it would be a good idea to get her out you know?"

Tori gave me a strange look before she gave a weak smile. "It's really nice that you offered to do that, but Shiloh is-"

"-Going fucking psycho." Jade finished her sentence as she walked into the living room.

"Hey Rox. Nice shirt."

I smiled. "Thanks"

"Don't get too confident." She crossed her arms.

"Huh?"

"So where are you taking her?" Tori asked.

"Oh just to Nozu."

"I should warn you Shiloh isn't….Shiloh." Jade stated as Tori put her hand on Jade's back.

"What do you mean?"

"She's got this 'alter ego' thing going on, so if she says she isn't Shiloh that she's…what were the names again? I told you…?"

"Something like Shilene or Shandel….im close."

"Well yeah, if she says she's some shit like that just say okay, don't give it attention. She also has this goth look going on as well…oh and don't mention Sunshine….she will go off on you."

My eyes got wide. "Anything else I should know?"

"Don't drop the soap."

I shot Jade a look in which she gave me a forced smirk.

"You guys let her act like that?"

Tori nodded. "For now. We think maybe it's just a phase, but if she's still doing it after the next couple of weeks we plan on finding little help for her."

"She must be a wreck since she lost Sunshine." I frowned.

Tori nodded. "She's not taking things well."

"Well I'll tell her you're here." Jade stated as she turned for the stairs.

"How's school?" Tori asked as she reached over and fixed the front of my hair.

"It's alright. A lot of work."

She smiled. "Well it is college."

I sighed. "Hard work."

We both turned to the stairs when we heard foots steps running down.

"Hey Roxy." Shiloh said in a low voice.

_She doesn't look goth to me….? _Her clothes and make-up where the same as always….

"Hey, ready?"

She nodded as she turned to grab her jacket. "I'll see you later Tori, Jade." She stated as she opened the door.

Tori stared at her with a look of confusion before she nodded. "…Yeah, okay, see you."

"So how are you?" I asked as we pulled down the street.

She shrugged. "I'm making it."

We talked a little more about really nothing before we pulled up at Nozu and hopped out of the car.

Once we were seated a waitress took our drink orders before she disappeared.

I crossed my arms on the table. "So I heard you have alter-egos?"

She looked at me with a blank stare. "Who told you that?"

I shrugged. "A little birdie."

"The birdie lied. I don't."

"It's fine if you do. A lot of people have alter egos. I think they are for the talented because you have to be able to really act for that."

"It's nice that you think that, but I don't have any alter egos?" She stated as if I were the crazy one for asking.

_Maybe Jade and Tori were just messing around with me…._

"Here are your drinks." The waitress sat two drinks on the table before she pulled out a pen and pad. "Are you guys ready to order?"

We gave our orders before the lady disappeared once again.

My phone went off reminding me of an appoint I have tomorrow. I was messing around with my phone for a minute and the whole time I could feel Shiloh just staring holes into me.

I glanced to look at her in which she just gave a small smile.

"Can I help you?" I laughed as I put my phone away.

"Your hair is really pretty. What do you use in it?"

I shrugged."You know…some shampoo."

"What kind?"

_Shit I don't even know…_ "….Some kind in a bottle."

She laughed. "Okay, keep your hair secrets."

I chuckled. "I'm serious. I really don't know what kind."

She looked at me from the tops of her eyes. "Mhmmmm okay Roxanna."

"What do you use in your hair!?" I said as I reached over and gave the end of her black hair a shake.

"Black Dye. Wal-Mart off-brand shampoo & conditioner…water….a blow drier."

I rolled my eyes in which she gave me a smile.

I smiled back. It wasn't until the waitress came back with our meals that I noticed how long we sat smiling at each other.

"Roxy how old are you?" She asked a she dug into her food.

"18…I'll be 19 in March. You're 16 right?"

"I'll be 17 next month." She stated proudly.

"Are you going to do anything special for your b-day?"

She shrugged. "Naw, not really."

"You should have a small get together or something."

She thought for a moment before she looked at me. "We could do something?"

I shrugged. "Okay. Like what?"

"I don't know."

"Well you have a while to think. Tell me when you come up with something."

After talking more about nothing, the waitress came back with the bill.

"How much?" Shiloh asked as she reached into her bag.

I shook my head as I stuck my card inside and handed it back over to the waitress.

Shiloh gave a side smile. "Thanks."

"No problem. I mean I can't make you come to lunch with me and then make you pay. That would be wrong."

She chuckled. "Oh yeah, this is our _date._" She laughed as she grabbed her bag and stood up.

"It's not a date!"

She laughed again.

We finally arrived back at her house in which I put the car in park while she gathered her things.

"Thanks for lunch. I needed to get out."

"No problem. Just call me whenever." I stated as I looked over to her.

She looked back at me and smiled before she exited the car giving a happy wave before she turned to her house.

_Well that was nice…_

* * *

__**Thanks for reading guys! Please please review! What's going on in your minds! I would love to know! ;-D**


	6. Fuck Life

Chapter 6

_Fuck Life_

**[Jade's POV]**

"Tori this movie is boring and…boring." I said as I ran my hand threw her hair as her head lay on my chest.

"If you paid attention it would be a good movie! You know every good movie doesn't consist of blood and people slowly killing people and….that."

"Oh, but it does babe."

I heard the front door open and close as Shiloh walked in and hung her coat.

"Oh, hey Shiloh. How was lunch?" Tori asked as she sat up.

"It's Shadow."

"Oh my god." I said as I covered my face. "Don't start this right now."

"Start what?" Shiloh asked in confusion.

"So who's Shadow?" I looked up and crossed my arms.

"Shiloh's shadow. Shiloh had a nice time."

"Okay where is she then?" Tori asked this time.

"She said she's not coming home."

"Why?"

"Because…I don't know."

"Where can I find her?" I said in a sharp voice.

She shrugged. "Out somewhere else I guess."

I stood up and walked over to her. I reached my hand out and touched her face softly before I ran it threw her hair.

"Can you bring my Shiloh home? I need to talk to her."

"Shiloh only talks to a few people."

"Which are who?"

She shrugged. "Ask her."

"How can….Shiloh stop!" I screamed in which she backed up. "This isn't funny! Stop playing around!"

She folded her arms neatly at the wrist in front of her before she gave a small smile. "I'm not Shiloh."

"Go, just go. Get out of my face now, go."

She frowned. "Go where?"

"To your room." I turned around to Tori who was standing silently shaking her head in confusion.

"Okay." Shiloh said before I heard her footsteps walking lightly up the stairs.

"She's lost it."

"I mean did she do that shit with Roxy? I know Roxy think's she crazy!"

Tori grabbed my hands. "Maybe we should take her for some help sooner."

I nodded. "I'll look up some places and we can take her on Saturday."

Tori nodded. "It hurts to see her like this." She said as she wrapped her arms around me.

I kissed her on her head as I wrapped my arms tight around her. "She'll be better soon."

_I hope…._

* * *

**[Jade's & Roxy's Text]**

Jade: Roxi

Roxy: It's _Roxy_, and yea?

Jade: Whatever, how did lunch go with Shiloh?

Roxy: Oh it was great.

Jade: She didn't act weird or anything…or use those pretend people?

Roxy: No. She didn't. I actually brought up the alter ego thing to her and she said she doesn't have any alter egos.

Jade: What!?

Roxy: I thought maybe you guys where just messing around with me.

Jade: No! We weren't messing with you! So Shiloh was Shiloh/herself the whole time?

Roxy: Yea. She didn't seem any different than what she usually is. I could tell she was a little down but she was trying to hide it, but other than that, she seemed fine.

Jade: Well ain't that a bitch.

Roxy: Did you call your daughter a bitch?

Jade: No! I was saying the situation is a bitch. Bitch.

Roxy: Did you just call me a bitch?

Jade: Why are you texting me?

Roxy: You texted me first!

Jade: Well I'm now untexting you.

Roxy: Whattt?

Jade: Untexted

Roxy: Really Jade…..

Jade: Untexted

Roxy: (straight face emoticon) Bye.

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

I laughed. "No lick from the side, it's dripping!"

Marcus hurried and licked the ice cream that was dripping from the side of the cone before he planted a kiss on my lips.

We sat at a nearby park on one of those two people swings like we were an old couple or something, but it was very nice. There weren't a lot of people in the park and the breeze was perfect. Small birds walked around in front of us…and it was just a perfect scene.

He grabbed onto my hand and played around with it while I licked around on the ice cream cone he had gotten for me.

"Hey Bailey?"

I turned to him. "Hmm?"

"Don't get offended or anything okay. Some people get offended or mad when you ask them this."

_Oh god what is he going to ask?_

I got nervous. "I..I won't. What is it?"

"Have you ever made love before?"

_Does he mean made love…or have sex…or fuck? I guess it wouldn't matter because I haven't done not one of 'em! I'm such a loser!_

I shook my head. "I…I'm uh…still a virgin."

He smiled. "That's fine. You sound embarrassed about it?"

"Well I am…a little."

"Why would you be embarrassed?"

"Well, well because everyone I know isn't. Nobody...nobody ever really wanted me…so it's kind of embarrassing to say."

"That's not embarrassing. It's embarrassing when you ask a female if she's had sex and she's says yes with confidence. I don't like that. Plus Bailey, nobody ever wanted you because they were too damn blind to see how beautiful you really are. It confuses the hell out of me really, because you are…and I'm not just saying it to say it, but you are a beautiful girl. Those eyes, that hair, those dimples, that perfect smile, this beautiful skin color, I don't understand and I don't understand how you could have been so insecure about yourself. You don't have to listen to anything anybody tells you that's negative about you babe, because it's not true. I feel I'm the luckiest man alive to be with you. Some guys want girls who dress half naked, or can do this or has done that and who looks just a hot ass mess. You don't do that and I can tell you have respect for your body; respect for yourself. You don't put yourself out there. You don't try and do what the crowd is doing. You do your own thing; you're independent and I love that about you." He gave me a small kiss on my cheek.

I felt my eyes start to water.

Nobody ever says things like this to me. He makes me feel so…so beautiful. I barely had any confidence in myself before he came into my life and I love him. I love him so so much.

"Thank you." I said as a tear slipped from my eye.

_I'm such a big crybaby._

"Oh I didn't mean to make you cry." He said as he wiped my tear.

I chuckled. "It's fine." I said as I wiped the rest of my own tears.

We sat there for a minute as I finished up the ice cream before I turned to him. "Are you a virgin?"

He looked down. "Naw, I regret who I gave it to though. She cheated on me in front of my face and I was too blind to even see it."

He looked hurt. How could anyone ever cheat on this perfect man!?

I leaned over and gave him a hug before my lips met his in a passionate slow kiss.

"It's okay. I won't ever do that to you."

He smiled. "I know you won't. You're different."

He looked me into my eyes. "I'm in love you with you Bailey Vega."

My eyes got wide as my heart rate started to speed up. I opened my mouth but I couldn't find words.

_Did he just say…that…he's in love? In love with…with…with meee?_

"Whoa clam down. I didn't mean to overwhelm you." He chuckled as he touched my arm.

I wanted to say it back, but for some reason I couldn't. I couldn't figure out how to say it back. I just sat with my mouth open in which he chuckled and closed the gap between us again.

After a few more hours spend with the love of my life I was finally walking into the front door of the apartment.

I walked down to my room to put my stuff away before I walked over to my moms.

**KNOCK, KNOCK**

I knocked gently just in case she was taking a nap. I didn't get an answer so I turned the knob slowly before I peeked into her room.

There were papers scattered over her bed while her laptop was open. She was typing things from the papers and seemed a bit frustrated.

"Mom?"

She glanced up at me quickly before she hopped off of her bed and walked over to me pushing me from her room while she stepped into the hallway also closing her door.

"Hey! It's called a knock!?" She crossed her arms.

"Oh sorry. I did it softly just in case you were sleeping."

She walked down the hall and made her way to the kitchen with me following behind.

"So what are you doing in there?"

She grabbed a small juice from the fridge before she opened it and gulped half of it down.

"School stuff."

"What kind?"

"….business kind. Nosey." She said as she walked into the dining room and sat down. "What do you want for supper?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Want to go out?"

"Like to a restaurant!?" I said with a little more excitement than I needed too.

She nodded. "Well I don't mean out to eat from a dumpster."

_That sucked…?_

"Yes. I would love that!"

"Alright…uh…be ready at 6:00pm or I'll leave you."

I frowned because she would really do something like that. She has before.

"I'm kidding Bailey." She said as she stood up.

"6." She tapped me on the nose as she walked back to her room.

I smiled. _Dinner with my mom….oh wow._

_I can't wait…_

* * *

**[Tori's POV]**

"No….yeah….alright….love ya too. See you…bye."

"Who was that?" Jade asked with a mad face as she walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"My new lover." I teased her.

Her eyes got wide as she pushed her lips together.

"Calm down babe." I laughed as I stood up and walked over to her. "It was just Andre."

She squinted her eyes in which I laughed again before placing a kiss on her lips. My tongue swept across her bottom lip asking for entrance which was fully granted as her mouth opened and her tongue met mine. She backed me up onto the couch in which we traded poisons with me ending up on top before I crashed my lips to hers again.

"Let's go upstairs." She whispered to me in which I agreed.

She sat up and place one of her arms under my legs while the other one held my back as she stood up.

Our lips met again as she carried me to the stairs.

**DING DONG, DING DONG,**

"Ughhh!" Both I and Jade said in unison as I let my body go limp in her arms throwing my head back.

She removed her arm that held my legs up making me feet hit the floor before she started towards the door.

"This better be fucking good."

She swung open the door before both Jade and I eye's got wide.

"Cat!"

* * *

**[Stallone's POV]**

I sat in my dorm room as I flicked through threw the channels on T.V.

_Nothing is ever on….Ughh!_

"Hey what's wrong with you?" Constance asked as she walked into the room.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm bored as hell."

"I haven't seen you in a while? How's Evelyn doing?"

_Why did I even bother telling her what the hell just happened with Evelyn's family…_

"She's fine." I said nonchalantly as I still flipped through the channels.

"You're not staying there with her again tonight?"

"Nooo Constance, damn."

She made a mug face. "Welll sooo-rryyyyy." She flopped down on her bed before she moved over to mine.

"What's wrong? Something's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that you're making the bed sink in, now move."

"Awwww c'mon Loniee wonnieee… tell mommy what happenedddd."

I turned to her with the most evil eyes I could muster.

"You don't scare me."

I sighed. "I'm fine seriously. I'm just tired."

"Stop working so damn much. Your life is literally….school, Evelyn, work, Evelyn, eat, Evelyn…haha get it?" She nudged me in my rib. "Eat Evelyn." She started cracking up before she instantly stopped and made a straight face. "No really, you need to get some rest."

"That's what I'm trying to do if you would leave me the hell alone."

"You work tomorrow?"

"I'm off."

"Good don't go to school, then you'll have a full rest day." She smiled making her deep dimples appear in her caramel skin. Constance reminds me of fucking Essence. Oh my god Essence…I haven't heard from that bitch in a good minute. She usually texts me or Roxy once or twice a month, but it's been a minute. Maybe she fell of the face of the earth….that would be a blessing.

I sighed. "Maybe."

She gave my leg a pat before she stood up and left the room saying that she'll be right back.

I turned the lights and T.V. off before I turned over in my bed.

_Fuck everything. I don't even care that she broke up with me. I actually wanted to be single…yeah, yeah that's what I wanted. She's trying to hurt me. It's not going to work. She wants someone to feel pain too because she's in pain. Ha! I found out her little plan. Well it's not going to work Evelyn Simone because I don't give two shits! Ha how you like them apples!? I'm not gonna cry over this. Fuck her. She can deal with her problems on her own. That's what she fucking wants then fine. I don't care. See I'm smiling. Two years with someone I've feel in love with and planned on calling my wife one day won't make me cry by leaving. Pshhh. I'm not hurt. Not the least bit. _

A tear fell from my left eye as it slid across my face from laying on my side.

_No I'm not crying. It's tears of joy! Because now I'm free! I'm so happy! Yeah. Don't need Evelyn. Don't need anybody. Fuck life._

_Goodnight._

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys!**

**Hey you silent readers! Time to hear from youu! C'mon I upload for you guys everyday not many people do that. Can a girl get some feedback!? Pleaseee?**

**Review numbers have been dropping :( Makes me sad...**

**So please review I'll love you so much if you do! ...well I love you guys anyways, but I'd love you even more! And thank you sooooo soooooo much for you guys who review every chapter...you don't know how much it I do appreciate it!**

**Anyways so Okay... yeahhh... uhh... Happy New Year? ..._yeahhhh_**


	7. My Heart Won't Let Me

**This chapter's kinda short. Sorry but I'm so tired! **

**And thanks for all the positive words you guys sent! You all are so awesome! Love you!**

* * *

Chapter 7

_My Heart Won't Let Me_

**[Jade's POV]**

My face fell as I watched Cat stand outside of our door with nothing on but a thin jacket just long enough to cover her womanhood. Her hair was pulled back into a tangled bun, both of her eyes were black, she had bruises and cuts everywhere, her feet were bare and bloody and she stood shaking as tears streamed down her face. Never in my life would I have imagined ever seeing Cat like this.

"Oh my god Cat." Tori said as she covered her mouth.

"..P..pleasee…hel..p." She said through quiet sobs.

I grabbed her arm to pull her in which made her let out a loud high pitched squeal.

I looked at her arm which she held onto tightly in the other. "It...it...my arm...they…he….they hurt...hurt me."

I don't know how to feel bout Cat. I really just want to take her and rip her apart. I hate her! She disgusts me! I don't want her here at my house. I never wanted to see her again, but here she is; at my doorstep crying her eyes out, hurt, defeated begging for help and deep, deep down I want to hug her. I want to kill whoever hurt her. I want to take care of her and let her know she is safe now, but why I have those feelings I don't know. I don't want them. I really just want to slam the door in her face, but I can't. My heart won't let me.

As I was tangled in my thoughts Tori had already let Cat step inside and god she stinks. I never knew a human could smell so bad.

"I'll get you a towel." Tori said as she ran to the bathroom.

I just stood staring at Cat. She kept her head down as the tears kept flowing.

"Are you done?" I asked before she looked up at me with those same chocolate eyes that Sunshine used to look at me with.

_Sunshine. _

Fuck Sunshine. She doesn't even know about her own daughter!

"Am….am I done...done with what?"

"I'm going to ask you this once and your answer is going to determine whether we take care of you or if you end up right back outside that door."

She nodded.

"Do. You. Want. Help?"

She nodded.

"I'm serious Cat. No playing a fucking around."

"If….if I didn't want hel..help. I wouldn't have…have come here."

"Here." Tori said as she walked back to Cat's side with a wet towel and some clothes. "Maybe we should take her to the hospital Jade."

"Not like this we're not."

"Well we can clean her up-"

"-I'll clean her up. You go call Beck." I said as I grabbed the towel and clothes from her throwing them over my shoulder.

Tori gave me a confused look before she nodded and turned to Cat. "It's going to be okay Cat." She stated before she left to do her task.

"C'mon Cat." I grabbed her arm again which she again let out that high pitched squeal.

"What happened to your arm?" I said as I tried to look at it.

She sniffed. "They hurt it."

"Let me see."

She shook her head.

"Let me see!" I screamed in which she obeyed this time by uncovering it quickly.

It was red but it didn't look broken. Maybe sprung. She'll be alright. A little pain will do her some fucking good.

"Bathroom." I pointed down the hall in which she slowly turned to walk but her feet were still bloody and I didn't need her tracking her shit around my house.

"Stop." I sighed.

_I don't want to do this._

I put one of my arms to her back and the other one to the back of her knees before I scooped her into my arms in the same position I was just carrying my wife until someone rudely interrupted as I carried her down to the bathroom.

Not only did her smell almost kill me but she has no bottom clothes on and not that I was staring but on her thighs had huge scratches all over them as if somebody just took their nails and scratched her as hard as they could.

"What happened to your thighs?"

"They hurt me." She stated again.

"How did they hurt you?" I asked as we reached the bathroom and I sat her down gently on the toilet seat.

"…they lied...to me. They held me down…and…and.."

"-and raped you?" I said nonchalantly. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what she's trying to say.

"What's rape?"

_Oh god…how can I put this in words Cat will understand?_

"When someone has sex with you, but you don't want to have sex with them, but they do it anyways."

"Yes! They did that. All of them."

I felt sorry for her. I mean I really did. She's so fucked it doesn't make any damn sense.

I didn't respond to her I just walked over to the tub and started a bubble bath.

I then turned to her and used the wet towel to wipe her feet off which she squealed and squirmed at the pain I must have been causing.

"Where are your shoes Cat?"

She shrugged.

"Take off the jacket."

She looked down at the jacket before she looked back up at me with more tears in her eyes.

"What now?"

"Are you going to rape me too?"

I don't know why and I damn sure don't know how, but her words impaled me. They hurt so bad.

_Would she really think I would do something like that to her? I mean I know I can be cruel, but I'd never in my life do something like that to anybody….well maybe Tori….but that doesn't count._

"No Cat. You are going to take a bath. I need you to take the jacket off."

She didn't move. She just stared at me.

"Stand up." I said but she still sat there staring at me as if she didn't know what the words meant.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her up receiving another squeal from her hurt arm. "It's not broken so hush."

I unzipped her jacket as she flinched and closed her eyes tight.

"Cat, I'm not going to hurt you." I said as I put the jacket aside. "Get in the tub."

She nodded as she slowly walked to the filled warm watered tub and put one foot in in which she yanked it back out with another squeal.

"What is it _now_?"

"It..it's burning my foot."

"Well if you wore shoes your feet wouldn't be all messed up now would they?" I crossed my arms.

"They…they got tore up..I couldn't-"

"-Get in the tub!"

She made a startling sound before she turned to the tub again stepping into it and sitting down slowly.

"Beck said he's on his way." Tori said as she walked into the bathroom.

She walked over to the tub knelt down beside it before she reached over and touched Cat's cheek gently. "Are you okay?"

"Don't baby her!" I yelled as Tori yanked her hand back in surprise.

"Jade." She said through gritted teeth as if I were the bad one.

"Get out Tori! I got this. Go wait for Beck!"

"No."

"No?"

"Yes Jade no. I'm not going to let you sit her and torture her!"

"I'm not torturing her Tori! I'm not going to let you baby her either!"

"Fine we'll both stay then."

"Pleasee stop…stop yelling!" Cat said as she covered one ear since her other arm hurt to move.

"Wash her hair." I stated as I got on my knees by the tub beside Tori who stood up. I reached over and grabbed a clean rag and I wetted it and soaped it up.

Cat was filthy. I mean she was literally a whole shade darker from dirt. I started with her face rubbing it with the rag gently but hard enough to get the dirt off before I moved to her arms while Tori shampooed her hair.

Nobody said a word. It was all silence as we got Cat all cleaned up and looking good as new.

You wouldn't believe how dirty the water was. I mean it was close to black. It was disgusting.

**BANG, BANG, BANG**

"I got it." I said as I left Tori to finish blow drying Cat's hair.

I opened the door as Beck rushed in. "Is she still here?" He asked out of breath like he ran here or something.

"Calm downnnn." I chuckled.

"What the hell is funny right now? Where is she?" He said slight aggravated.

I chuckled again. "You. C'mon she's in the bathroom."

Beck followed me to the bathroom before he pushed passed me to run over to Cat. He literally picked her up as if she were a small child and wrapped his arms around her lovingly.

"Thank God you're okay." He whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. I didn't even know Beck was that much worried.

"We should take her to the hospital." Beck said as he put her down.

"We planned on it, but we wasn't going to take her looking and smelling like the hot mess she was."

Beck rolled his eyes before he knelt down in front of her.

"How do you feel?"

She shrugged.

"We're going to help you know okay. Promise us you won't go back out there."

She nodded. "I…I promise."

"It's not going to be easy Cat, but know that we-"

"-Them." I said.

"_We_…" Beck looked at me irritably. "...are here for you. We love you."

She nodded again.

"Is something wrong with your arm?" He asked as he looked at how she held onto it.

"It hurts."

"We'll take you to the doctor, they'll make it better."

She nodded.

"What's going on?" Shiloh asked as she walked up to the bathroom door. "C..Cat?"

Beck looked over at me as if to silently tell me to tell Shiloh to leave.

I rolled my eyes as I walked over to the door grabbing her arm on the way out.

"Is she okay?" Shiloh asked as I pushed her to the living room.

"Shiloh." I said her name just to see if she would give me one of her fake people.

"What? Is she okay?"

My eyes got wide. "Shiloh."

"Whatt?" She stated irritably.

"Are you Shiloh now? Nobody else?"

She squinted her eyes and made a face. "What are you talking about?"

I crossed my arms. "Oh don't act like you haven't been using those stupid alter egos."

"What areee you talking about!?"

"Shilene! Shadow! Shantel! Those people!"

"Jade what are you talking aboutttttttt!?"

I uncrossed my arms and tilted my head. "You're kidding me right now."

"You sound like you should be in the nut house. Dude is Cat okay?"

"She's fine. Shiloh are you fucking with me right now?"

"What do you mean!?"

"You've been using these alter egos…those people. Just earlier you said you were Shadow!"

"The dog off of Homeward Bound?"

"No! You said you were these people! You were acting different and…don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!?"

She shook her head. "No offense but I think all that coffee is going to your head. You sound ridiculous right now."

"Hey Jade, you ready?" Tori said as she walked in the living room with Beck carrying Cat in his arms behind.

"Where is everyone going?" Shiloh asked.

"Tori get this….she's _Shiloh_. She never had 'alter egos'." I crossed my arms.

"What…Shiloh?" Tori asked as she turned to her.

"Yes?"

"We'll talk about it later." I said as I grabbed my keys from the hook.

"Cat are you okay?" Shiloh asked as she walked over to where Beck stood holding her as she put her hand on her shoulder.

Cat nodded. "Where's Sunshine? You two are always together?"

Shiloh removed her hand and took a step back as the room got quiet.

"She's not here. C'mon let's go!" I yelled as I opened the front door relieved that she didn't question her whereabouts as everyone walked out.

"Can I go?" Shiloh asked.

"No. Stay here. We'll be back soon okay."

She nodded. "Okay."

I sighed.

_How will we get through this night?_

* * *

__**Thanks for all the feedback again! You guys make me feel so great! I love you all! ****& Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! ;)**


	8. This is Shiloh Speaking

**Sorry guys short chapter, but I'm not home, it's not my computer, and I'm being rushed. But I did manage to type this up for you guys real quick. So please enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8

_This is Shiloh Speaking_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

I sighed as I watched Jade close the door and the house fall silent.

Okay….so maybe I do know what she was talking about. Maybe I am messing with their minds. Yeah, so what?

It's not all wrong, because I do feel like a different person sometimes. When I'm with Rynina's group I feel like a bad girl. I feel like I can live life to the fullest and do whatever the heck I want to do. I just don't feel like me, so I gave that girl a name, Shantell. There's times I feel like a very sweet, nice, loving girl, sweeter than me even. She comes out sometimes, so I gave her a name as well, Shilene. Then there's the girl who is just like me. She has my personality and everything. The only different thing about her is that she's who I was before I met Sunshine. She has no pain, just a good life, and her name is Shadow.

I hate being me. I hate being me because there's this feeling in my heart that won't go away. There are situations I don't want to face. There's things I don't want to remember and by putting myself into these…characters, I don't have to feel those feelings, I don't have to face those situations, I don't have to remember, but Shiloh does. No matter how hard I try to forget, or no matter how hard I try to push things aside, they always come back. It's always there. That hurt, that pain. I hate it. It's eating me alive.

I want attention. So I do things to get it. I make these fake people, I do things I shouldn't, I don't act like myself so my parents will give me that attention I want. I love the feeling of attention from my parents; the wrong kind of attention. I actually want them to worry about me. I want them to worry sick. I want them to cry over me. I was going to run away soon and come back 3 days later. I still might do it. Why do am I doing this? Why do I want them to worry about me? Why do I want this attention so badly? I don't have an answer. I just feel that's what I should do and this is Shiloh speaking.

I'm at a point where it's fuck everything. I don't care about nothing. What do I have to live for? We live to die. It's stupid. Why would…why would she have to go and I'm still here? I'm not doing anything for anybody. Kill me now too. I want to go too. I want to move on. I'm trying so hard too, but deep down I can't. I just can't. Every morning it's getting harder and harder to wake up. It's like somewhere I'm falling deeper and deeper into a pit I can't get out of. I need help. I can't get out alone. I feel that one day I'll end up so deep into this pit that I won't wake up the next morning and I might have help to that.

Nobody understands. They tell me to move on, that things will "get better", things will "be okay" and my parents are the main ones feeding me that bull shit. Of course they are in a position where they can tell me everything is going to be okay because they still have each other! How about Tori gets killed off then how the fuck would you feel Jade? Or, or if Jade got killed off, then how would you feel Tori? You wouldn't want any mother fuckers in your face telling you everything will be okay now would you!? Because it's not! As long as she's not by my side, in my life, nothing will be okay! Ever.

I still haven't shed a tear. It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't find them. I don't want to cry. Crying is the official key of showing that my baby is gone. If I don't cry, maybe it's not true? If I close my eyes at night and say she's by my side maybe it's true? If I say it was all a dream, maybe it is true?

I can't…I can't deal with death. In 4th grade a girl in our class was kidnapped and killed. She was in my class but I barley even knew her. Novie Springs was her name. I still have nightmares about her sometimes. When I think about it, pain enters me and sweeps throughout my body. I hate the feeling. It scares me sometimes and the fact that I barley even knew the girl could have this effect on me; think about now, now that I'm older and wiser, and I was in love, and I lost her. How do you think I feel now?

Cat's back. Her mother is back. I couldn't help but reach my hand out and touch her. She looks so much like my love I just wanted to go along so I could just stare at her and be around her. Then she mentioned Sunshine. My heart dropped. She still doesn't know. Someone has to tell her, her beautiful amazing daughter has slipped away from this earth and she wasn't even there for her. How would Cat feel? She'll be ripped apart. She probably wouldn't even understand. She's so stupid. Why would she do the things she has done when she has 3 children at home who loves her with all their hearts? I remember the first time I met Cat. I met her one day after school when Sunshine dragged me to her car just to meet her mother. She waved at me through the small window of her car with a smile looking just like her daughter. I spent the night at their house that weekend and I just kept saying to myself over and over how perfect that family was and me even wishing my family as like theirs.

But look now.

Her family is torn apart.

Kind of how like I feel…..torn apart. I just want the world to quit. I want everything to end. If I had the guts to kill myself, god I would. I mean I'll die one day anyways? Why not choose which day, right? But I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do that. Not me. Not Shiloh.

_But maybe Shantell would…._

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

"I'll have the same." I smiled as I handed my menu over to the waitress.

I watched as my mom crossed her arms on the table and smiled at me and It's like…_wow she's smiling at me!_ My mom is so pretty when she smiles.

I smiled back.

"So ah…how's school?" She asked.

_Does she really care or is she asking to bypass time?_

"It's great. I have to write a song for songwriting and I have a play next month in my Acting 102."

"What kind of song are you going to write? What will the play be about?"

_I think she really is interested!_

I smiled harder. "I'm not sure what kind of song yet. I might make it like a poem style song and we are actually doing a play called Steam Boat Susie."

"Hey I was in that play when back then."

"Really? What part did you play?"

"Well I should have gotten the lead because I was the best in the play, just saying, but of course Tori got that part. I got the sick girl. You know the one with a bad cough. She had something, tubalious or something."

"Tuberculosis?"

"Yeah that! Psh I was the best though. I stole the show." She waved it off and chuckled.

I laughed. "I bet you did. I don't know what part I got yet. I auditioned for the lead, but I most likely won't get it."

"Why don't you think you'll get it?"

"Because my teacher always tells me I sound too shy when acting, but he said I'm a good actress. I just need to work on my confidence."

"When you act, don't think about it. Just do it. Be the character. Put yourself in the situation, don't just read a script you know? It'll help you out." She winked.

I smiled and nodded.

"Where are we going?" I asked as she passed the house on the way home.

"I want to show you something."

After a few more minutes of driving, mom pulled up at the top of a hill and parked before she got out of the car.

"C'mon, get out." She stated with her hands up because I just sat there.

I opened my door slowly as I got out and followed her the rest of the way up the steep hill.

"Close your eyes." She said but I was scared. I don't really 100% trust her and I guess she read that on my face.

"Bailey, I promise. You can trust me."

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes and let her lead the way.

"Step over. Keep your eyes closed." She stated as she held my arm helping me step over what felt like a small rock wall.

"Sit."

I sat down on what definitely was a rock wall by the uncomfortable pokes to my bottom.

"Okay open your eyes."

I slowly opened my eyes to see the most amazing, beautiful sight of Hollywood I've ever seen. I never knew this place was here. This beautiful view; You can see everything. All the beautiful colorful buildings lighting up the night as cars rush up and down the streets. The Hollywood sign sitting famously signing down on Hollywood, music could be heard from talented star seeked people playing in the streets….

Just amazing.

"It's so beautiful!"

She sat down beside me as I felt her warm hand slip into mine and when it did…I swear it was magic that sweep through me or at least it felt like it. A connection was made. I felt it. It felt so good. The last time I felt my mother's hand in mine I had to be like 4 years old crossing the street or something, but this is different. It's like….I can feel love in her through her hand and into me and It feels so good.

"I'd thought you might like it." She smiled.

I put my head down.

"What's wrong?" She asked as her hand went to my back.

"You don't know…how good this feels. You don't know how much this means to me."

"What?"

I felt my eyes water.

_Great Bailey you are really a crybaby!_

"The only thing I've ever wanted my entire life….was my mother. Everything….all the prayers…the crying nights…just everything and it's like now…now it's a wish come true. I'm living my dream, even if it's just for one night I'm so thankful, so grateful that you've done this for me tonight, that you are trying to be the mother I've always wanted. You don't have to go the extra mile for me, this…this is a lot. It's beautiful and I love it, but I love you mom. You don't have to do this, all I want is for you to be there. To just be my mother and I can see I'm getting that. You here, with me right now….this night...today, it was something I could only ever imagined and now I'm here right now…with you and it's not a dream. I hope it's not a dream…Thank you mom. Just…thank you."

She pulled me into a tight hug as my tears fell onto her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Bailey. I never meant to hurt you. I was stupid. I was blind. I know…I know I'm horrible and I'm working on it…yes. You mean a lot to me, I just haven't shown it. I'm so mad at myself for…neglecting you."

She put my face in her hands as she looked me into my eyes.

"I love you Bailey. I'm so, so sorry." She whispered as tears filled her own eyes. I never in my life seen my mother cry. Never. And it went straight to my heart. I know she's genuine. And I love her too.

"I love you too." I said before she brought me into another hug.

_My life is everything I've only imagined it could be…_

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	9. Look at What You've Done

Chapter 9

_Look at What You've Done_

**[Beck's POV]**

"Ow!"

"Dude can't you see her arm is hurt! Why would you grab it like that!?" Jade yelled at the doctor who I knew obviously knew what he was doing.

"Ma'am how about you step out of the room-"

"-Not happening." She interrupted as she crossed her arms.

"Jade…" I said calmly trying to calm her down but received an evil glare from her like it was supposed to scare me.

"How about you take a break. Call Evelyn, I'm sure she would like to know her mom is alive."

"YOU call Evelyn! I'm not leaving this room!"

Not in the mood to argue I just threw my hands up. "Fine. I'll be right back."

I walked out of the room and into the hall running into Tori who stepped out to call her sister.

"Get in touch with Trina?" I asked as I leaned against the wall.

"No, she didn't answer."

"She probably ignored your call."

She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm about to give Evelyn a call. Jade's in there throwing a fit for no reason. You should try to calm her down."

She nodded as she gave me a pat on my back.

I sighed as I took a seat in a chair sitting outside the small room Cat was getting her arm checked in as I scrolled down my contacts to Evelyn's number.

**RING, RING, RING, RING, RING,**

"Hello?" She answered in a sad voice.

"Ah, hey Ev, how's it going?"

"Not good at all."

"I know Love, just hang in here alright."

"How's Kulado?"

"He's actually doing okay. I'm glad you asked about him. He misses you Evelyn. You should come by and see him sometimes you know. You're all he's got right now."

She sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I know things aren't so easy for you right now."

"Yeah."

"But I actually called to let you know we have your mother here with us right now."

It was silent for a few moments and I actually thought she had hung up.

"Evelyn?"

"..ah…what..what did you say?"

"Your mother. She's here."

"Who's mother?"

"Evelyn, your mother."

"Caterina?"

"Ah…yeah."

"That's not my mother."

I sighed. "Ev listen she-"

"-I don't want to hear it Beck."

"-but she's here-"

"-I said I don't want to hear it. I don't care. I don't know that woman. We have no connection."

"Listen please-"

"-No. I'll come by and see Kulado soon and when I do that son of a bitch better not be there or she will damn sure regret it."

My eyes got wide at her use of language. "Ev don't talk like that."

"I have to go."

"You're really not going to come up here?"

"Why would I Beck?"

I opened my mouth to give a good reason in which I realized I didn't have one. Evelyn has every right to be upset/pissed off at her mother. I mean, she literally dropped her family, but deep down I don't really think Cat meant to do what she has done. I don't think she intentionally turned to drugs. It just doesn't sound like Cat.

"…Because she love you Evelyn." I said after I finally thought of a good enough reason.

_That's a good and true reason as well._

"Well isn't that something because I sure don't love her."

"Evelyn come on, don't say that."

"Bye Beck."

"Evelyn-."

"I said, bye Beck."

"Bye."

With that the line went dead before I put my face in my hands for a moment.

_God Cat look at what you've done…._

* * *

**[Roxy's & Shiloh's Text]**

Roxy: Hey, wyd?

Shiloh: Sitting at my house being bored & lonely.

Roxy: Lol, why are you lonely?

Shiloh: Everyone left to take Cat to the hospital.

Roxy: What! Cat's there!?

Shiloh: She's not here, she's at the hospital with my parents and Beck.

Roxy: Ohhh that's where he went. He acted like he couldn't tell me where the hell he was going!

Shiloh: Yeah…well…sucks…

Roxy: So how are you doing?

Shiloh: I'm okay. Wbu?

Roxy: I'm good. Thanks for asking.

Shiloh: Well technically you asked first, so the nice thing to do would be to ask back.

Roxy: Well….thanks anyways?

Shiloh: (smiling emoticon)

Roxy: Want me to come over?

Shiloh: Aren't you watching those little boys like always?

Roxy: No not tonight. They both are at Mike's friend's house for a while and daddy will get them later.

Shiloh: If you want you can. I'd enjoy some company.

Roxy: Well call me the Company Enjoyer.

Shiloh: …..lol that sounded really lame….

Roxy: …well sooooo

Shiloh: You coming or what?

Roxy: Yes

Shiloh: Alrighty….the door is open…

Roxy: Be there in 10.

Shiloh_…yeppy_….

Roxy: oh put a smile on!

Shiloh: (Straight face emoticon)

Roxy: That's a pretty smile….

Shiloh: You shouldn't text and drive…

Roxy: I haven't even gotten in the car yet!

Shiloh: You shouldn't text and walk.

Roxy: I'm running.

Shiloh: Watch out for that tree!

Roxy: Lmao stfu…..I'll be there soon.

Shiloh: (smiling emoticon) Kay.

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

"What are they going to do?" Cat asked as she sat in the small quick patient hospital bed as we waited for her x-ray results.

"They are going to look at your x-rays and fix your arm." I said as I looked over at Cat.

"Is it going to hurt?" Cat asked as she put her hand on my upper thigh.

Tori instantly stood up and grabbed my arm pulling me from the spot I was sitting at beside Cat and into a chair beside hers.

"No. Getting your results won't hurt." Tori stated as she wrapped her arm around mine. It was then I realized what Tori was doing.

"Babe, she didn't even mean anything."

"I just want you right here." She stated as I rolled my eyes.

Even though it's been years Tori and I still have every right to be pissed off at Cat, but for some reason, I'm not. For some reason I'm not mad at all. I tried to bring those feelings of hatred towards her out of me, but they all are acts. I'm not mad at her. How could I be mad at her at a time like this when we are literally all she has? I know Tori still cares about her judging from the way she treated her back at the house, but it's like since we got here to the hospital Tori's been acting shity towards her and also towards me whenever I show her any kind of affection and I understand that, but it's like …damn chill Tori, do you see her situation? I feel that Tori and I have switched shoes because right now I'm nothing but heart for Cat while Tori's giving her the evil eye. I don't know what changed from the transition from the house to the hospital, but something in the process must have pissed her off.

"Ms. Read?" A doctor asked he walked into the small room.

"Yes." Cat said with scared puppy dog eyes.

"We got your x-ray results. You're arm isn't broken, it's just a bad sprang."

"See what did I tell you Cat?" I smiled as I looked over to her.

She gave a smile back.

I took a quick glance at Tori who was staring at me with the most evil look I've ever seen on her face but I have to admit she looked sexy as hell with that expression.

"A few weeks in a sling should have you fixed right up…and do you have insurance Ms. Read?"

She nodded.

"Do you have your insurance card with you?"

She shook her head.

"Alright that's okay. As soon as you get a chance, make sure you bring the insurance card back here and fill out a small amount of information about it so the hospital doesn't bill you. Alright?"

"Okay." She said weakly.

"We'll have a nurse right in to wrap your arm right up. Here's a prescription for some pain medicine." He said as he signed it and handed over to Cat.

"You guys have any questions?"

Everyone shook their head.

"Alright you all have a good night." With that he was gone.

"Where did Beck go?" Cat asked as she turned to me.

I shrugged. He stepped out a moment ago and still has yet to return.

"Can I call someone?" She asked in a sweet voice.

"Call who?"

"My kids. I want to talk to them."

I turned to Tori who shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she put her head down.

"Not right now Cat." I finally said as I turned back to her.

"But why?"

"Because you can't use cell phones in the hospital." I lied.

"I've seen people use cell phones." She argued.

"Cat, I said not right now."

With that she put her head down and in moments the nurse walked in.

"Hello Ms. Read. Let's get that arm fixed up." The nurse smiled as she put everything on the bed beside Cat.

Cat sighed.

_We can't push it off forever….._

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

The door swung open as Shiloh stood on the other side with a side smile. "We have a doorbell you know. Why does everyone fail to use it?" She stated as she turned and started to walked away leaving the door open for me.

I walked in and closed the door before hanging my small jacket on the rack.

"So whatchu doing?" I asked as I saw her flop down on the couch.

I walked over and did the same, flopping down beside her.

"Nothing, bored…just watching T.V. but nothings on."

"Look the Sissoring." I said as she flipped through the guide.

She turned to me. "Noooooo. I've seen 10 different versions of that movie over 100 times!"

"Well…"

She stopped on some scary movie that I've never heard of and neither had she so we decided to watch it. It was more of one of those evil types of movies then suspense.

"Ahh! I can't look!" She said as she covered her eyes at this devil looking creature walking upside down on the walls.

"Scared much?" I laughed.

She punched me in my arm. "It's not funny. I'm not good with scary movies!"

I laughed. "Then why did you pick it!" I said rubbing my arm.

"I don't know! Turn it off!" She covered her eyes again as scary face took over the screen.

"Don't be scared." I reached over and put my arm around her letting her hide her face into my chest.

I moved my arm lower wrapping it around her waist and pulling her closer to me as the sounds from the movie made her shake.

_I never knew someone could be so afraid of a MOVIE._

"It's gone." I said as I grabbed the remote with my free hand and changed it to Spongebob.

She let out a sigh of relief as I felt her shift thinking she was about to sit up, but she didn't. She wrapped her arm around my stomach as she kept her head lying lightly on my chest as she watched the idiotic cartoon.

I took the opportunity to look over her. She wore a pair of booty-cut black shorts and a fitted white and black Aero shirt to match. Her hair was down in cramps as it was going loosely down her back and some tickling my chest. Even though I couldn't see her face at the moment I know she's looking beautiful. She's always been a very pretty girl and I just can't help myself from checking her out over and over again.

_Am I wrong for this?_

"Roxy." I jumped at her voice.

_I hope she didn't catch me._

"Yeah?" I said in a shaky voice.

She sat up and turned to face me as she brought her legs up to sit Indian style.

"Do you believe in Heaven?"

_Aww she must be thinking about Sunshine. _

"Yes I do."

"You think everyone goes there?"

I shook my head. "I think some people go to hell. But only like murders and stuff."

She put her head down.

"You okay?" She turned away from me before she turned back and nodded.

"You can cry if you want. I'm here for you."

She shook her head. "No. I don't need to cry."

I could hear the hurt in her voice. I can't imagine how Shiloh feels. She looks so….lonely. Like everyone has left her on the earth alone, but I know that's not true. Everyone is here for her, but I know she doesn't feel that way. When Michael moved away I was heartbroken and the thought of him dying….wow. That would have killed me.

Shiloh is so strong it's crazy. The girl has been through a lot and she still hasn't shed a tear.

I study her for a minute as she kept her head down. I wish there was something I could do for her. She looks so sad. I want to let her know I'm here for her. That I love her too.

I reached out my hand to her chin and lifted it up so that she could look me in my eyes. I was going to tell her how I love her as a good friend and how I'm always there. I was going to tell her how she could come to me whenever she needed me and I was only a phone call away. I was going to…but I didn't. No words came to my mind when her eyes met mine. I saw something in them, something different and I couldn't help it. My body and mind was doing its own thing as I started to lean in towards her. I couldn't stop myself and I was waiting for her to pull back, to smack me in my face, to do something to bring my mind back to where it needs to be, but she didn't. I closed my eyes as I was so close to her I could feel her breathing on my top lip before I heard the front door swing open causing both of us to jump back awkwardly.

"No!" Tori said as she walked through the door with her head turned around as she yelled at Jade.

"Yes Tori!"

"Please stop yelling!" Cat screamed as Jade closed the front door with a slam. Tori turned over to us as we both sat on the couch with a huge distance between us.

"Oh….hey Roxy." She said as she hung her jacket.

"Uh…hi. Well I think I should be going." I said to Shiloh as I stood up who stood up quickly as well.

"Yeah you should. It's late." She said talking in full speed.

"Well see you."

"Yeah." With that I grabbed my jacket as Jade give me a suspicious look before I walked out of the door.

I sat in my car in silence for a few moments as I gathered myself.

_Did I…..I almost…..oh god..._

* * *

__**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	10. Sometimes it's Better to Cry Than to Lau

Chapter 10

_Sometimes it's Better to Cry Than to Laugh_

**[Jade's POV]**

"What was that about?" I asked Shiloh as I pointed behind me to the door.

"..It..I…uh…nothing. I'm so tired. Night." She said as she ran passed me up the stairs.

_The hell?_

"I'm so hungry. Can I please have something to eat?" Cat asked as she tugged on my arm like a child.

I watched as Tori rolled her eyes and ran up the stairs. "Jade it's not happening!" She said as she got to the top and disappeared.

"Yes it is!" I yelled back as I started to the kitchen with Cat following closely behind.

The whole car ride home Tori and I have been arguing about where Cat is going to sleep. At the hospital I suggested she stay with us while Beck said she should stay with him; Tori agreeing with Beck. Finally we just let Cat chose and of course she chose us; something Tori isn't happy about at all, but she can take a chill pill. Then on the way home she told Cat she can sleep in the guest room which I rejected and told her she could sleep with us.

Now….I know I might sound…wrong or something, but hear me out.

I only want Cat to stay and sleep with us because I don't trust her. I'm not going to let her leave again. She will definitely get killed out there. I'm just not letting it happen. Beck is a great guy and all, and yeah I trust him with Cat to a certain extent but I know good and well if she stays with him she will be gone my morning and Beck will have a dumb excuse and look on his face saying…"I locked all the doors." No. He's not responsible enough to take care of someone like Cat by himself; now about her sleeping with us. Again I don't trust Cat. If I let her sleep in a room by herself, she will be gone. Tori is being a fucking….ughhh I'm not going to call her any names, but she is being selfish. I know she's not liking Cat, but I'm not letting Cat run off again. She's going to sleep in our room, in our bed and Tori's going to like it or sleep downstairs.

I'm not in the wrong am I? I'm just trying to help. I honestly do care about Cat and Tori's just going to have to understand that whether she likes it or not.

"So what do you want to eat Cat?" I asked as we reached the kitchen.

"Anything!" She screamed.

I chuckled as I opened the fridge and took out some leftover chicken from the night before, before I put it on a plate and stuck it in the microwave.

I took a glance over at Cat who was looking around and starting to get a little fidgety before the microwaved stopped and I brought her her plate.

"Here." I said as I placed the plate in front of her.

"Oh thank you!" She said as she started eating the chicken like there was no tomorrow.

I'm so surprised they didn't ask about her at the hospital. I mean she looks battered as if her husband had beaten her up or something. Usually they ask about stuff like that, but apparently they were just rushing us through.

"Slow down Cat." I laughed as I sat down in front of her.

"I can't it's soo good and I'm so hungry!" She said with a mouth full.

I smiled as I stood up and walked over to the sink to wash some dishes. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and pushed my sleeves up before I started the water.

After a minute of cleaning a few dishes I turned to check on her in which she and her plate were gone. My heart dropped.

"Cat!" I yelled out before I turned around to see her standing right beside me with her dirty plate in her hands. When I say I nearly pissed my pants. I mean…I nearly pissed my pants.

"God Cat! Don't ever do that!"

"Do what? I was just bringing you my plate."

I grabbed the plate from her and threw it in the sink. "Are you full?" I asked.

"No. But I'm satisfied."

"Go eat two Honey buns." I said pointing at the box.

"W..why?" She asked confused.

"Because I said so. Go."

She nodded as she skipped over to them and grabbed two.

Cat had to lose about 30 pounds and she was already very small to begin with. I mean she has no body fat on her whatsoever. I feel if I blew hard enough she would fall over. Some fatty sweets will do her some good.

"Go see what Tori is doing." I said as I slightly pushed her out of my way of cleaning the counter which almost made her fall.

"Oops." I said as I kept cleaning.

"Tor…Tori…she…she hates me Jade. I'm scared."

I shook my head. "She doesn't hate you. She's just in a bad mood. She's PMSing."

"What's PMSing?"

"Go ask Tori."

"Kk!" She said as she turned and walked off scratching her arm constantly.

"Stop scratching your arm!" I yelled out before I saw her hand fall and her walk slowly up the stairs.

I sighed as I turned back to cleaning.

Don't get me wrong. I am slightly upset with Cat, but I can't just take everything out on her. I know she's done some bad things, but…she's not in a position where I need to act like a bitch towards her. She wants help and I know that she's genuine about that. You want to know how I know? Because she didn't run to Trina this time like Bailey said she always does. She came to us because she knows we will help her and that's what I'm going to do. If I treat her like shit then all she's going to do is run back to wherever see came from. I can't…I won't…it's not going to happen. I want Cat to know deep down we still do love her even though I told her I never want to see her again. I would be so hurt if anything bad, bad ever happened to Cat. I just can't let it happen.

_I'll never let it again._

* * *

**[Tori's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK**

I glance up to see Cat standing in the doorway.

"What?" I said before I returned my attention to my book.

"…Uh…Hi Tori."

"Hi." I stated nonchalantly as I flipped the page.

"Can I come in?"

"I really don't have a say in that because what I say doesn't matter."

"Yes it does Tor."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on."

She gave a slight smile as she walked in and sat on the edge of the bed Indian style.

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

"What it about?" She asked as she twirled her still kind of tangled hair. I meant to get it all combed out…but it was just too bad.

"Do you still hate me Tori? I'm sorry. I really am. Please stop hating me. I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

I sighed. I hate Cat, but I don't hate her. Well I don't hate her at all. I'm just….so upset with her and it's not just the fact that she tried to kiss my wife that I don't want to be around her. It's how she left her family for drugs and…whatever. How could someone do that? Leave your kids? No. I couldn't ever. She seems selfish to me and it also hurts to think that Sunshine wanted her mother so bad to the point where she started calling me and Jade mom sometimes. I can't believe her and another thing I'm so desperately trying to avoid is the fact that we are the ones who will have to tell her about her little angel. How would she react? Will she even care? I just…I just don't want to be around her right now. She's pissed me the hell off.

I sighed. "I don't hate you Cat, I'm just-"

"-PMSing!?"

My mouth flung open. "I'm not!"

"I don't even know what that means." She looked down.

"Then why'd you say it?"

"Because Jade said you were."

"Jade said…_well._" I said crossing my arms as Cat giggled.

I sighed again as I looked Cat over. She still looks bad even though we fixed her up. Under all that I can still see her. Cat Valentine. My red head best friend in high school. She was so sweet and innocent back then…

…_what happened?_

* * *

**[Shiloh's POV]**

_What was she doing? What does she think she was doing? I can't believe she almost…god I don't want to think about it! _

I heard a few knocks on the door.

"Come in." I said before the door swung open as Jade walked in.

"Shiloh?" She said as she crossed her arms.

I thought for a moment. _I don't feel any different….I guess I'm Shiloh?_

"Yes."

She gave a slight smile as she walked over to my bed and sat down beside me.

"So I have my Shiloh back huh?" She lifted a brow.

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Do you really not remember being those other people Shiloh?"

_Maybe I should say no. Then she'll really worry about me….no…it's not right._

I sighed. "Yes Jade I remember. I made them up."

"I know you did. I knew you couldn't be serious."

_Yeah right, no she didn't._

"Yeah?" I lifted a brow.

"Well you kind of scared me there, but I know you're not that crazy."

I shrugged.

"So are you and Roxy like best friends now?"

I looked over to her. "No."

"Lunch, then she comes back while we're out. What you guys do?"

I shook my head. "Just watched T.V. She's my friend like always."

"You guys never hung out Shiloh."

"Well…now we do."

"Way over a month. You can't move on until you let go."

_What is she talking about?_

"What?"

"Shiloh I really want you to stop holding it in. It hurts. I know it does. You'll feel so much better after you let it out."

"I have nothing to let out." I said as I gave her an evil eye.

"Don't give me that look. Shiloh I don't see why you're holding it in. Are you scared about something? Do you think you'll be weak? That's something I've always been afraid of….being weak. But when I had you guys…man. Weak is almost at the top of the list. When it comes to you guys I'm always weak. I hate to admit that because Jade West was never weak. My reputation back then was top charts. I use to have bitches peeing their pants, but…I guess I've grown out of that. But I did learn something. It's okay to break sometimes. Nobody is that strong. I mean nobody. You're going to break sooner or later even if you think you're not Shiloh and that doesn't mean you're weak. It actually shows how much you loved her. How much you cared. I know she might have told you she doesn't want anyone to cry over her, but babygirl sometimes it's better to cry then to laugh you know?"

I put my head down.

"You know I tried to hold it in, but one night I ended up at her grave crying my eyes out. I cried all night. Do you know how much better I felt after that? I felt like wow, I can actually deal with this now because before it was eating me alive."

I felt my eyes water.

_NO! no, no,no…_

"Jade I don't want to talk about this."

She grabbed my hand. "Shiloh it's okay." She whispered.

I held every last tear in my eye before I yanked my hand away and rolled off of my bed.

"Jade get out! Now!"

"Shilo-

"It's Shantell! Get out!"

Jade put her hand to her face. "Shilo-"

"-I said get the fuck out!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

She sighed as she scooted off of my bed and got to her feet.

"Sunshine would be so disappointed in you Shiloh."

Her words hit my heart and they hit my heart so hard it hurt for it to beat.

"Fuck you Jade!" I said as I pushed her from my room and slammed my door.

_She just wants me to break! Well I'm not! I'm sooo not! I don't have too! Because I'm not sad! I'm fine! I can move on without the tears! There's no point in them! They won't help shit!_

I turned off my light before I crawled under my covers.

_Break is something I'll never do._

* * *

__**Thanks so much for reading and the reviews! Love you guys sooo muchhh! **

**Please review! ;)**


	11. Silent Scream

Chapter 11

_Silent Scream_

**[Tori's POV]**

"..I really think it's a little too far Jade. I mean, what's wrong with her sleeping on the lean back chair, or the air mattress? Why does she have to sleep in our bed?"

"Tori I already told you she might leave! I won't be able to know if she tries to leave if I don't have her in the bed."

I crossed my arms. "So what do you plan on doing? Wrapping your arms around her waist holding her close to you?"

"Tori you are being ridiculous right now." She said as she moved away from me and across the room to change.

"Excuse me, I'm being ridiculous?" I said pointing at myself.

She changed her shirt as she nodded her head. "Yes."

"You're the one letting a girl who obviously has feelings for you stay at our house and sleep in our bed! And I'm being ridiculous!?"

"Shhhhh. Keep your voice down."

"Why because she might hear me!?"

Jade gave me the most evil look in the world before she slid into her pajama pants.

"You like her don't you?"

Jade's head turned to me so fast I know she got whiplash. "Are you fucking crazy? What the hell kind of question is that Tori?"

"One that you should answer!"

She walked over to me and stood so close I could feel her breathing on my face as she spoke through gritted teeth in a whisper. "We are the only fucking people Cat has right now Tori and I'm trying to help her the fuck out. She came to us for help Tori. Us! And we are going to help her whether you like it or not and you want to know why? Because if we let her run out of that door again she will be killed. Is that what you want? I know deep down you still care about her Tori so don't act like the hell you don't and what do you think is going to happen when she finds out about her daughter? She needs us okay. I need you to understand that. She's sleeping in our room, she's sleeping in our bed and you're just going to have to deal with it."

"And what if I say no?"

"I don't care what you say."

I felt my eyes water. "You never do Jade! It's like nothing I say ever matters to you!"

She sighed. "Tori really. You better not start crying."

I heard the bathroom door open as Cat walked out and into our bedroom with her head down as I felt Jade grab my arm and pull me into a hug. "It does matter, but…we'll have to talk about this later okay." She whispered into my ear. "I love you Tori. I'm sorry."

I wiped a single tear before I pulled out of her grip and to the bed before I got under the covers quickly and laid my head on the pillow.

I heard her sigh before it was quiet for a few moments.

"Cat what's wrong?"

I turned over in the bed to get a better view of Cat and Jade standing at the foot of the bed. Cat's head was down and she seemed a little fidgety.

"N..nothing. I'm tired."

"C'mon get in the bed." Jade said as Cat nodded and hopped onto the bed right beside me.

_Of course she'll sleep in the middle of me and my wife!_

"Y..you smell good..T..Tori."

"Why are you stuttering?" Jade asked as she climbed in the bed beside Cat.

"It's…cold."

"It like 70 degrees in this house. It's not cold."

"I'm..just…t..tired." Cat said as she laid her head down.

"Get some sleep then. Night." I heard Jade say before she reached over turned the light out.

I didn't even get my goodnight kiss from her. We always share a kiss before we go to bed.

"I love you Jade." I whispered to myself so low that I knew only I could hear.

I felt the bed shift as a body moved and I couldn't tell who it was. After a few moments I felt lips on mine and I froze before I recognized the soft lips from anywhere.

"I love you too Tori. I'm sorry." She said as she leaned over to me. She actually got out of bed and walked around to my side.

_She must have heard me._

"Goodnight." She said as she placed another kiss on my head before she walked back to her side.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

"_Hey Tori, your real name is Victoria right?" Sunshine asked as she stirred the cake batter in a bowl._

_I chuckled. "Yes."_

"_Well why don't you go by Vicki? Why Tori?" _

_I shrugged. "I don't know. I like Tori better."_

"_Oh like how my mom likes Cat better than Rina?" _

_I smiled. "Yes."_

_She got quiet for a minute as she kept stirring. _

"_She's going to come home Sunshine. Don't worry okay." I placed a soft hand on her back._

"_I know she will. She says she loves me. If you love someone you can never leave them because your heart won't allow it. You'll just be miserable your whole life if you never follow your heart. So I know she'll come back." She gave a weak smile as if she was telling herself a lie._

_This is the first time I've ever seen Sunshine so hurt. Even though she hides it well, I can just sense it. _

_I grabbed her into a hug._

"_She'll come back right Tori?"_

_I pulled away and put her hair behind her ear. She has so much hope and faith in her eyes. _

"_Yes Sunshine. She will."_

_She smiled before she wrapped her arms around me tight again. "I love you Tori."_

_I gave her a kiss on her head. "I love you too Sunshine."_

I felt a tear escape my eye as I held it closed before I opened them to take a glance at the time which now read 2:38am.

I felt the body beside me shaking and moving around as small breaths escaped her mouth and I swear they were close to moans.

My eyes opened wide as I still face outwards so I could only hear what was happening behind me. But the only sounds I could hear were faint choking and hard breathing sounds.

In one quick motion I reached over and turned on the light before I turned over to see what was going on.

I looked down to see Cat with her covers off in a fetal position sweating and panting.

"Cat." I reached over to touch her in which she flinched.

"Jade wake up!" I yelled over to Jade who was knocked out facing towards us.

She slowly opened her eyes with an evil look ready to yell because she hates being woken up until she saw Cat.

She sat up quickly. "What happened?" She asked me.

"I don't know I just woke up."

"Cat?" Jade called out but she didn't respond.

She grabbed her and pulled her into a sitting position. "Cat you okay?"

"…Jade…pleaseee…pleaseee."

"What? Please what?" I asked Cat as I looked at her with concern.

"Shit!" Jade cursed as she put her head in her hand.

"What?" I looked at her.

"She feening."

"She's what?"

"Feening. Her body needs whatever crap she's been hooked on."

"See! I told you she wasn't serious about help." I said as I stood up as well.

"It's not her fault Tori! Her body is hooked. She can't help it. She's going to want it no matter what. It's the fact that she is here wanting help to get off of that bullshit."

She walked into the bathroom and came out with some Ibuprofen.

"And what's that supposed to do?"

"I don't know Tori. Relieve any pain she might be having."

She claimed back onto the bed to Cat who held her knees to her chest as she rocked back and forth.

"I…I can't do..do it Jade…Pleasee. I..i need it…I have ….i have to go…please."

"No Cat." Jade said as she unscrewed the top on her water bottle.

"Here take these." She gave one to Cat who put it in her mouth and swallowed it without the water before she grabbed the other one from Jade's and hand swallowed it without water as well.

"Cat!"

"I…I just want the feeling to go…go away! Pleaseee…make it stop." She cried as I placed my hand on her back again and gave small rubs.

Jade was right. I mean….she does need our help.

"Ughh! I can't!" She scream as she crawled off of the bed and over to the door in which she yanked open and started running.

"No!" Jade yelled as she and I stood up and ran after her. Cat was already half way down the stairs before we got to the top.

"Cat! If you walk out of that door never come back!" Jade yelled as we froze in the middle of going down the stairs.

Cat froze with her hand on the doorknob her breathing heavy and her tears flowing.

"I need it." She said softly.

"You don't need it Cat." I said.

"I…I do…I need itt…please."

"We can't help you if you don't want help. Walk out of that door tonight Cat, and it's over. Never come to us again." Jade said after this time.

She looked at the door knob and started to turn it before out of nowhere Shiloh came walking into the living room and over to Cat.

_What is she doing up?_

She put a hand on Cat's back and instantly Cat let go of the door. Shiloh turned her around and embraced her in a tight hug as we walked the rest of the way down the stairs.

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

"Shiloh." I said softly as I watched her grip around Cat get tighter. Her eyes were closed tight and her breathing was almost as heavy as Cat's and I knew what was to come.

"No please." Shiloh said as I tried to unlatch her from Cat. Cat is the closes thing Shiloh has to Sunshine and I could tell by the way she held onto her, by the way she wouldn't let go that she was pretending she was.

"Noo! Stopp!" She screamed as I finally got her free from Cat in which Tori took Shiloh place by wrapping her arms around Cat.

_Oh now be her friend….._

"Take Cat back upstairs. This…" I said pointing down at Shiloh who now had her arms wrapped around me. "… is going to end tonight." I told Tori in which she nodded as she led Cat back to our room.

"Shiloh." I said pulling her off of me and putting her face in my hands. She breathed heavily as her body shook softly. She whispered things I couldn't make out to herself as she kept her eyes closed. She was so close to the edge and I was going to make sure I give her that push she so desperately needs because she's not backing away anymore.

"Shiloh look at me."

She shook her head and kept her eyes closed.

I didn't want to ever have to say these words I'm going to say to my daughter. These words I know will break her heart, but it's to help her, not to hurt her.

I took a breath and braced myself. Anybody holding in something this long isn't going to be gentle about letting it out.

"She's dead Shiloh."

I noise escaped her mouth as she tried to pull away from me but I didn't let her.

"Sunshine is dead and she's not coming back Shiloh. Get that through your head. She's dead! She's dead! She's dead! Yes it's real!"

The words coming from my mouth hurt me so much to say to her in such a harsh way, but this is the only way to push her over.

She covered her ears. "No! Let me go! Leave me alone! She's not dead Jade! You don't know what you're talking about! Let me go!"

She tried so hard to get away as we both fell to the floor with me still holding on tight to her.

"Jade please let me go! Don't!"

I ran my and through her hair gently as she was being rough and kicking against me but I was clearly stronger than her.

"Shhhhh. Baby just let it out. It's okay." I whispered in her ear as she screamed and shouted. She finally pulled from my grip and tried to crawl away but I was quicker than her and end up pushing her back down. She fell onto the floor faced down with me laying on top of her holding her down. She started screaming for Tori as her first banged to the floor and her legs going crazy.

"Shiloh it's okay!"

"It's not okay! Get the hell off of me! Pleaseee!" I felt her getting weaker and her voice starting to crack. She was so close.

"Just let it out Shi." I said as I put buried my face into her back. "She's gone."

Instantly everything went silent. Her legs stop kicking around and her hands stopped banging on the floor.

I looked down at her face to see her eyes shut tight and her mouth wide open as she let out a silent scream.

After a moment of literally nothing the loudest scream I've ever heard escaped her mouth that it even hurt my throat to hear it.

I got off of her and pulled her up and into a tight embrace before I felt her teeth sink into my shoulder so hard I knew she was breaking skin and that's when I heard it.

A cry.

She wrapped her arms around me so tight I couldn't breathe but it's okay. Her cries were muffled by my shoulder and I felt my shirt getting soaked with her tears.

I just held her tight and rocked her back and forth as my hand ran through her hair.

It hurts so much to see my daughter go through this. I wish there was something I could do to make her pain go away. I don't even know how it feels.

"W…w…wer were…s..supp…suppose t..to get…get married..ied..and..have..a..s..son…Ho…Hollywood…she…wante…d…she..wanted..him… …named Holly..wood…she…she promi..sed… ..be..be here Jade. I lov…I love herr...she …never…did anything…to…anybody…"

"Shhhh baby I know. I know." I said as I still held her tight with a slight rock. A few tears escaped my own eyes. This hurts so much.

"…why…why did…she..have to go? Wha..what have..have..i done to..deserve…this?"

I choked as I held onto her tighter. She hasn't done anything. I don't know why this stuff happens. I don't I wish I had an answer for her. I'm so fucking mad. Who did this? Why!? She was already fucking raped by a guy who she thought she loved then she finds someone she actually falls in love with and who she wants to spend her life with and they are taken away from her! Shiloh….my baby doesn't deserve this. Not even a little bit.

"Nothing baby. I'm so…so sorry love. I Love you so much. I'm so sorry."

"Jade please! P…please bring her back! I'll do…do anything!"

"I'm sorry Shiloh." My words didn't seem like enough. They aren't enough. They never will be.

She made a fist as she punched me repeatedly in my chest causing great pain and screaming, but I didn't stop her. If beating me up makes her feel even the slightest better then she can all night.

She finally stopped punching me and buried her face into my chest again and continued to let everything she's been holding in for almost two months out.

I felt another presence standing in front of me before I felt a hand go to my arm.

I open my eyes to see Tori knelt down in front of me with one hand on Shiloh's back while the other one gently squeezed my arm.

She leaned in and kissed Shiloh on her head.

"Where's Cat?" I whispered to her, but loud enough to be heard over Shiloh's now descending cries.

She brought her hand up to cup my face softly. "Jade." She said with sad eyes.

"What?"

She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "She heard everything."

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please, please Review! **


	12. Tears Like Rain

Chapter 12

_Tears Like Rain_

**[Jade's POV]**

"I don't believe you!" Cat screamed as she knocked stuff off of our dresser.

"Cat-"

"-I know I've done wrong Jadey! Okay! I get it! But you are going too far!"

"Cat-"

"-No! I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" She said as she crouched down in a corner and covered her ears.

I sighed.

Cat has been screaming and being restless since she overheard a situation we wanted to handle slowly. I hate that she had to hear the news about her daughter this way.

"Cat." I said again as I knelt down in front of her.

She stayed as balled up in the corner as she could possibly get with her eyes closed and ears covered.

I reached over and tugged on her arm which fell from one ear.

"I'm so sorry Cat."

"I can't believe you guys would go as far as doing a whole scene with your own daughter to actually get me to believe my daughter is dead. It's so wrong Jade. I know I've messed up, but why are you treating me like this? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to leave her. I didn't mean to leave anyone. You guys didn't have to do this to me. I'm trying to get help and you all do this? It's not right Jadey."

_She doesn't even believe me. What do I say? What do I do?_

I sighed again as I stood up and walked over to our dresser before opening it up and reaching under our clothes. I grabbed the pretty pink paper before I brought it over to Cat with my hand extended for her to grab.

"What's that?"

I didn't say anything I just kept my hand held out until she grabbed it herself.

She finally took it as looked up at me before she glanced down at the pink paper in her hands.

Her face dropped before she let out a small gasp as her hand went to her mouth. "No, Jade what is this?" She said as she threw Sunshine's obituary back at me. "Where is she for real Jade, this really isn't funny okay. I'm sorry."

"Cat…it's not a joke."

She shook her head. "I don't believe you."

"Cat I'm sorry, but it's true." I stated nonchalantly. I know I should talk with more sympathy, but right now for some reason….I just don't have any for her. She should have been there.

"Come on." I said as I reached down and pulled her up.

She looked at me confusedly. "Where are we going?"

I didn't answer her as I dragged her into the hallway. I walked by Shiloh's room before I opened the door up slowly to see her fast asleep in Tori's arms while Tori slept as well. I closed the door back softly before continuing pulling Cat behind me down the hall and down the stairs.

"Jade where are we going?" She wined as I grabbed my keys off of the hook and opened the front door pushing her out before me before I closed and locked the door.

"Jade it's chilly." She said as she rubbed her arms.

I rolled my eyes. "Get in the car." I pushed the unlock buttons before I climbed in the driver's seat while she climbed in the passengers.

"Please tell me where you are taking me. It's so late. Everything's closed Jade." She said in her little innocent voice.

I again stayed silent. There's only one place I could take her at almost 5 in the morning which technically is really early not really late.

We finally pulled up at our destination. "Get out of my car." I said as I hopped out.

She gasped. "J…Jade why are we here? Is this to scare me again like you did that one time when you left me at a graveyard then told me all the dead people will eat my soul?"

I ignored her question as I started walking with her following close behind.

"There." I finally came to a stop in front of a beautiful tomb stone as I looked away and crossed my arms.

It was quiet for what seemed like forever, but I didn't want to see her face. I don't want to see her reaction.

"J…Jade." She said in a broken voice.

"I'm sorry Cat."

I heard faint crying as I took a step aside. I'm so mad at her now. I can't believe she wasn't there.

"Is this…is this real?"

I sighed as I finally turned to her. "Cat…I'm sorry okay. Yes it's real. I told you." I stated in a meaner tone than I intended.

Her mouth opened but now words came out as soft tear fell down her face. "Noooo. No. No." She cried as she fell to her knees in front of her daughter's grave. She put her face to the stone and started crying harder and finally my heart broke for her. It's a hard sight to see a mother laid out in front of her own flesh and blood's grave with her tears falling down on top of it like rain.

I sat down beside her as I put my hand to her back. "Cat I'm really sorry."

"W..when..h..how…where? Whooo? What? This isn't funny Jade.. stop playing around please!" She cried.

"Cat.." I looked down. "I'm not playing. I'm really sorry."

"What happened!?"

She yelled at me as she pushed me on my back.

_Damn she's strong._

"Cat calm dow-"

"I'm not going to calm down! What is this! What happened! Tell me!"

My eyes got wide at her sudden outbursts. I sat up again as I reached out and grabbed her hand in mine which seemed to calm her down a bit.

"Cat." I said as I rubbed the back of her hand. "Sunshine was staying with us at our house while you were….out. She…she um…" I said as I felt my own eyes start to water as I choked back tears. "She started to get sick and...and we took her to the doctors. They told us she had the flu so they gave us medicine to treat her for the flu and they told us to take her home; that she will get better….but…she didn't. She just kept getting worst and…and one morning she just…passed out. We rushed her to the hospital and the doctors did test on her and they found out that she had Leukemia which is cancer." I paused for a minute as tears fell from my eyes. "She…she was so sick Cat. We waited too long to…take her… so when they started treating her for it…"

I choked as the quick memory of me giving her the Ke'mo bear popped into my mind. She was just so happy, so beautiful. She loved it. She kept a smile even though she knew she was very sick…and…ughhh!

"..she was too weak for the medicine they were giving her to make her better Cat…" I shook my head. "She went to sleep one night and… she didn't wake up."

Cat buried her face in her hands as she started to cry her eyes out.

"I'm so sorry Cat." I whispered again for the 100th time. Even though in the back of my mind I just wanted to punch her in the face for not being there for her daughter and to tell her the hell off but I just couldn't; not now. This isn't the time for that.

_But that time will come_

* * *

_. _

**[Bailey's POV]**

I grabbed my bag and my books off of my bed before I walked out of my room and started for the front door.

"Bailey!" I heard my mother scream which scared the crap out of me considering me thinking the house was empty.

"Why are you still here?" I asked as I turned to her.

"Hey ride with me to school today?" She stated in a question form.

I lifted a brow and hesitated. I really didn't want to ride with her…but….I guess?

"Umm okay. If you want me too. Why?"

She shrugged. "So we can talk."

I chuckled. "We live together. We have all night to talk."

"Yeah but…let's talk now." She tapped my nose and said with a smile.

_Why is she so extra happy?_

"Sure."

We both walked out of the apartment and down to her car in which I hopped in closing my door her doing the same.

She started up the car and started off before she finally spoke.

"So Bailey...your birthday."

_My birthday? Does she even know the date?_

"Yes, what about it?"

"It's coming up."

_Yes…yes it is._

"Yep." I smiled.

"I got you a gift."

My eyes got wide. "You did!? Already!?"

She nodded. "I really think you will love it."

"What is it!?"

She smirked. "Well if I tell you it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"

"If you tell me, I will still act surprised."

She glanced at me with an even wider smirk. "No."

"Aww c'mon can I have a hint!?"

"Hmmm." She tapped her lip as if she was pretending to think. "Nope." She said with a pop of the P.

"Awwww pleaseeeee." I begged as I tugged on her sleeve.

_This is so exciting! I've never really gotten a present for my birthday from her!_

"Here's a hint….You'll love it."

"That's not a hint!"

"That's a Trina Vega hint." She winked

"Reallyyyyyyy…" I looked at her from the tops of my eyes as she gave a laugh.

We pulled into the school before she turned off the car and we both hopped out.

"Have a good day Bailey."

I smiled. "You too."

…._I love my mom…._

* * *

**[Stallone's & Tori's Text]**

Tori: Stallone?

Stallone: What

Tori: Hey how are you? Did you forget that we exist over here?

Stallone: …..don't start

Tori: Excuse me?

Stallone: …and don't try to act tough

Tori: Really Stallone? Come by and see your family sometimes.

Stallone: For what?

Tori: Because you are a part of this family. What do you mean for what?

Stallone: Y'all ain't special.

Tori: What's wrong with you?

Stallone: Nothing's wrong with me.

Tori: Yes there is. Now what is it?

Stallone: What's wrong is that you just sent a text that woke me the hell up from a good ass dream.

Tori: What? Are you sleeping in class?

Stallone: No. I'm sleeping in my bed.

Tori: Why aren't you at school?

Stallone: Technically I am at school considering my dorm is on campus.

Tori: Why aren't you in class Stallone? We didn't pay all that money for you to be skipping classes!

Stallone: Oh

Tori: Oh?

Stallone: Oh.

Tori: What the hell is up with you?

Stallone: Nothing. Will you stop texting me now?

Tori: No, now why aren't you in class? Are you sick?

Stallone: Very.

Tori: Very sick how? With a cold?

Stallone: No. I'm very sick of you texting me.

Tori: Stallone enough.

Stallone: Enough of you texting me.

Tori:….your sister needs you right now.

Stallone: Why?

Tori: She had a break down last night and she motioned to me that she really misses you.

Stallone: Why… I can't do anything for her.

Tori: You can be here!

Stallone: Too bad I'm not.

Tori: Really Stallone , what the hell is the matter with you?

Stallone: I don't want to talk about it.

Tori: You can tell me anything Stallone.

Stallone: Oh I know I can, but I'm not.

Tori: I love you. You know that right?

Stallone: Yeah yeah yeah

Tori: I miss you too Stallone. We haven't seen you in a while. If we have too we will come to you.

Stallone: Oh god please don't. I'll come…sometime…

Tori: Today? I mean you skipped school you might as well make time to come here.

Stallone: Ughh! Whatever okayyy.

Tori: You'll come?

Stallone: Yeah sure…whatever.

Tori: I love you Stallone.

Stallone: Yeah.

Tori: I love you Stallone.

Stallone: Mhm…

Tori: I love you Stallone.

Stallone: God Tori, I love you too! Happy?

Tori: Very. (smiling emoticon)

Stallone: (heart stabbing emoticon)

Tori: Why do you have to be so mean sometimes?

Stallone: It's in my blood.

Tori: You must get that from Jade.

Stallone: Technically I didn't get anything from Jade.

Tori: Don't start with that.

Stallone: It's true. I mean at least Shiloh can be slick yours since you carried her and all…but me and Jade…like night and day.

Tori: Why are you so negative right now? She's your mother like she has been your entire life.

Stallone: You're my mother. Jade's just someone who you entitled to me my mom.

Tori: She is your mom.

Stallone: If you say so…

Tori: She's my wife, and your mother. You weren't saying she wasn't your mom all these years she's been raising you and taking care of you!

Stallone: Tori chill. I was just playing.

Tori: Just come by later please.

Stallone: Whatever….

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	13. Taking Things Slow

Chapter 13

_Taking Things Slow_

**[Stallone's POV]**

I pulled into the driveway of my…I guess the place I call home before I turned the car off and hopped out. I dragged my feet as I gave a few eye rolls.

_I don't want to fucking be here…._

I turned the door knob which luckily for me the door was open. I slammed it behind me before I flopped down on the couch grabbing the remote and cutting on the television.

"Um…excuse you?" I heard Jade say from the side of me.

"I'm excused." I replied as I continued flipping through the channels.

She walked over to the T.V. and turned it off before she crossed her arms and glared at me. "This is how you greet your family after not seeing us for how long….?"

"Yep." I said with a pop of my p.

"Hey babe have you seen…Oh…Stallone. I'm glad you made a choice to stop by." Tori said as she walked over to me after running down the stairs.

"Mhm." I crossed my arms.

"What the hell is stuck in your ass?" Jade asked with a mugged face.

"The same thing that's been stuck in yours."

She uncrossed her arms and held up her hand. "Stop. Go out that door, come in and try again."

"If I go out that door, I'm not coming back in."

"Fine."

"Fine." I shrugged as I stood up and started for the door before Tori grabbed me.

"Stop." She said as she stood in front for me with sad eyes. "What's wrong?" She mouthed to me without speaking the words.

I turned to look over my shoulder at Jade who still held a mad face which I mugged her back before turning back to Tori.

I sighed as I gave a shrug.

"You know you can talk to us about anything."

"Yeah, yeah I know." I said moving from her grip and starting for the stairs. "Where's the little brat?" I said as I ran up the stairs hoping she was up here.

"In her room."

I walked down the hall to Shiloh's room before I walked in without a knock.

Shiloh sat on the edge of her bed faced away from me as she held onto a pinked stuffed bear tightly with her chin resting on its head.

"Wassup my little buggar."

She turned to me before she dropped the object onto the floor and came running over to me. She wrapped her arms around me tight making me almost lose my balance and fall to the floor.

She had to have a freaking growth spurt….I don't remember her being almost the same height as me.

"I've missed you." She said as her voice cracked.

I pulled out of her grip to take a look over her. She looked pretty bad compared to what she always is.

She clearly has lost at least 10 pounds. Her hair was just pulled back in a bun that really needed to be washed. Her skin was a little pale. Her eyes were red and puffy…and I just….felt bad for her.

"I missed you too Shi."

"Why weren't you here for me?" She asked as more tears fell from her eyes.

"..I am."

"No. Why haven't you been here! I needed you Stallone and you didn't care! You keep promising and promising to me that you'll always be here for me, but you never are! Why do you keep lying to me! You hurt me Stallone. Don't promising me something and not keep your word! It's so fucking…frustrating! Irritating!" She said as she gave me a push and turned back to her bed picking up the pink Ke'mo bear and hugging it again like nothing ever happened.

I had to admit I was wrong. I always am wrong. And I was also blinded. I was so into Evelyn and making sure that I was there for her…I sat there and neglected my sister. I'm sitting her mad and heartbroken because my love broke up with me…and now….NOW I realize wow….Shiloh…she lost Sunshine. She's never coming back to her. She's lost her true love. The thought of something like that ever happening to Evelyn just tears me apart. I can't imagine how she must feel and I've been a fucking bitch to her. Why the hell was I acting the way I have? I can't believe myself. Fuck me, fuck Evelyn. My sister needs me.

I walked slowly over to her and sat down beside her as I put my hand to her back.

"I'm so sorry Shiloh."

She wiped off a tear as she shook her head. "Whatever. I don't even care."

"C'mon."

"Come on where?" She asked as I grabbed her arm and led her out her door to the bathroom.

I closed the door behind us before I took her shirt off and yanked her pants down.

"Stallone! What are you doing!?"

"Hurry and take a shower. I'll be right back. Wash your hair good."

"But Stall-"

"-Just do it." I said with a slam of the bathroom door.

I walked back to her room before I walked over to her bed and made it up for her putting the pink Ke'mo bear right in the middle of the made up bed. I then walked over and opened up the blinds of her window to let some sunshine in her room before walking over to her closet and opening it up before pulling out a white button down shirt with a black vest to match and a pair of very dark blue jeans.

I cleaned up the rest of her room for her since it wasn't in the greatest shape before walking back to the bathroom with a towel for her.

I walked inside just in time to hear the water stop.

"Here." I said throwing the towel over the curtain.

"Thanks." She said in a sad voice taking the towel from me.

"Go get dressed; your clothes on are on your bed. When you're done come back to the bathroom." I said was I walked back out of the bathroom and back into the hall literally running into someone.

"Cat?" I asked as I looked her up and down. "Dude what are you doing here?"

She looked at me with said red puffy eyes with a shrug.

"Tori! Jade! Y'all know Cat's up here right!?" I yelled down the stairs.

"Yeah! Is she up!?"

"Uhhh clearly!" I said as I turned back to her.

I have to admit she look wayyyyyy better than she had the last time I saw her. Her hair was actually neatly combed out. She was clean, she smelled good. She looked like old normal Cat besides the fact her eyes were so puffy it looked as if she struggled to keep them open. What a bitch.

"We'll be right up!"

I looked at her up and down disgusted as I shook my head before I literality pushed her out of my way and continued to my own room.

I opened the door and walked over to my drawer pulling out my old curling irons and my make-up kit.

I walked back to the bathroom and looked under the sink pulling out a blow drier and plugging it up.

It wasn't long until Shiloh came walking back into the bathroom with the clothes I picked out for her on and her hair hanging over her shoulders wet.

"Come sit." I pointed to the toilet seat and she obeyed.

"What are you doing?"

I ignored her as I grabbed a comb and turned on the blow drier as I dried her hair for her making sure to be soft.

Once the drying was done I reached under the sink and grabbed the flat irons and plugged them up and waited for them to warm up as I parted her hair.

"Stallone what are you doing?" She asked a second time.

"Your hair." I stated plainly.

"I can see that, but why?"

"Getting you ready."

"For what?"

"You'll see." I smiled. I owed this to my sister

After I was finished flat ironing and curling her hair I did her make-up for her while the whole time it was literally silent. We didn't share many words and the ones we did share were just nothing serious.

After I finished she stood up and looking to the mirror and smiled making me smile too.

My sister is a beautiful girl and I don't know if she knows that or not, but she really is. She looks a lot like Jade, but she still has a softer sweet look to her.

"Go get your shoes on." I tapped her on her shoulders.

"Where are we going again?" She asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

I shrugged. "Just out." I said following her.

She put on her shoes and grabbed a small jacket before turning to me. "Well I'm ready." She gave a slight smile. She looks so much more brighter and even happier than she did when I showed up and I'm glad I brought her at least a little out of that depression she seemed to be in.

"Lets go then."

We turned from her room and walked down stairs to see Cat, Jade and Tori all sitting on the couch with Jade holding onto Cat while she cried in her shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

_I hope she drowns in her own tears….literally._

"Where are you guys headed?" Tori asked as she stood up.

"Out." I said looking over at Shiloh.

_Dude really….she's like my height now…who grows that fast!?_

Tori smiled as she walked over to Shiloh before she held her face in her hands. She leaned in and gave Shiloh a kiss on her forehead. "You are beautiful Shiloh. Have a good time." Tori turned to me and gave me a kiss on my cheek as well as I rolled my eyes.

"You have a good time too. Love you girls."

"Love you too." Shiloh said with a small smile.

"Yeah, you too." I turned for the door as I grabbed my keys from my pocket.

"You guys be safe!" Jade yelled as I opened the door.

"Yeah, yeah!" I let Shiloh walk out before me as I held the door open.

_Today will be all about my little sister. I can't take back the things I've done to hurt her, but I can get better from here._

_I'm just so sorry Shiloh…..I really am._

* * *

**[Roxy's & Shiloh's Text]**

Roxy: Hey

Shiloh: Hey Roxana…Roxanna… We'll does your name have two N's or one?

Roxy: To be real….I really don't know.

Shiloh: You don't know how to spell your own name lol!?

Roxy: Lol no. I've stuck with two N's but dad spells it with one and when I asked he said he didn't even know either. He told me look at my birth certificate which I never really never got around too. Lol

Shiloh: Woooowww! Lol.

Roxy: Lol so what are you up to today?

Shiloh: Well I'm actually out with Stallone right now. I have no idea where she's taking me.

Roxy: Oh. That's cool. Your birthday is like…next week right?

Shiloh: Oh! Wow it is! I totally forgot!

Roxy: Lol we just mentioned it yesterday. And you laugh at me because I'm not positive on how to spell my name….

Shiloh: I'm sorry. And it's been a lot going on…you know…

Roxy: I do. Are you doing okay?

Shiloh: I actually feel a lot better. I mean…like a lot better. I kind of let everything out last night.

Roxy: You did? You could have called me. I would have come.

Shiloh: It's fine. Jade was enough. Thank you though. (smiling emoticon)

Roxy: It's never a problem. We are still going to go out for your birthday though right?

Shiloh: Yes we can.

Roxy: Sound cool.

Shiloh: Roxy…we need to talk.

Roxy: I'm so sorry Shiloh. I didn't mean to…I didn't know what I was thinking.

Shiloh: I mean…it's okay I guess. I just don't know….like…I just don't know.

Roxy: Don't know what?

Shiloh: Do you like me or something?

Roxy: I…I don't know.

Shiloh: Why'd you try to kiss me?

Roxy: I really don't know.

Shiloh: Lol the words idk don't work for me.

Roxy: But it's true. I really don't know.

Shiloh: I would just never have thought….you…

Roxy: And me?

Shiloh: Yeah.

Roxy: Neither have I.

Shiloh: Yeah…

Roxy: Want to give it a chance?

Shiloh: What us?

Roxy: Yeah.

Shiloh: Um….I guess?

Roxy: You sound unsure.

Shiloh: Well I am because I'm not sure if I'm ready for anything.

Roxy: What do you think she would want you to do? Wait and mourn and moping around, or…move on Shiloh? I 100% am behind you on whatever you choose.

Shiloh: To be honest. I know she would want me to move on and be happy, but I don't think I can.

Roxy: How about we take things slow. If you feel you aren't ready tell me and it will be fine. I will understand. But I want to help you through this. Just tell me what you want.

Shiloh: You are really sweet Roxy. Ok, we can take things slow, but how?

Roxy: How about movies tomorrow night? Or is that too close? Next week?

Shiloh: Movies tomorrow is fine.

Roxy: Okay. I can pick you up at 8:00pm?

Shiloh: That's fine Roxy.

Roxy: Alright. See you then.

Shiloh: I'll see you and thanks.

Roxy: Thanks for what?

Shiloh: For wanting to do this with me.

Roxy: You are a sweetie Shi. Who wouldn't want to do this with you?

Shiloh: (smiling emoticon) Thanks.

Roxy: See you.

Shiloh: See you.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. REVIEW! Lets see if I can hit 100! Today!**


	14. I Wouldn't Let That Happen

Chapter 14

_I Wouldn't Let That Happen_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

"Where are we going?" I asked as I turned to her.

"You'll see." She said with a slight smile.

I sighed as I finished off my text with Roxy before sliding my phone into my pocket.

Roxy….she just literally came out of nowhere with this…thing she apparently has for me. I have to admit Roxy is a very pretty girl, but… she's not Sunshine. I want Sunshine. That's all I want but I know I can't have her. I didn't like to think about her but since I let everything free…I really feel so much better. I feel that I can say her name without wanting to kill myself. She's gone. I can cope with that way better now and the healing process is starting to take place. The question is….will it be long and slow? Or will I just drop it and move on? How am I supposed to deal with it? What would Sunshine want me to do?

Some people deal with death slowly and just day by day, while you have those other people who move on quickly with life. I don't want to spend every day in mourning. I know Sunshine would hate that…I just know she would. But then again it's kind of hard to move on. I want to do this thing with Roxy…I think…and….I just don't know what I want. Maybe just letting go will be the best thing. Maybe moving on and giving Roxy a chance now rather than later will be okay….it's just so weird. Roxy? I never would have thought….

"We're here." Stallone smiled as she put her car in park.

I looked around and lifted a brow. "Ice Skating? Stallone I can't ice skate!"

"But I can." She smiled as she opened her door and got out with me doing the same.

_Way to take me out…._

"This will only be fun for you." I said as I sped walked to catch up with her.

"No. It will be fun for us."

"But I can't ice skate!" I tried to get my point through her mind.

"I heard you the first time." She said as she walked inside the building and up to the small window.

"Two for an hour." She said as she started to retrieve some money.

"That'll be $15.24." The young lady behind the glass said.

I watched as Stallone handed over the exact change and got two tickets before handing one to me.

I rolled my eyes. _I'm going to break my neck out here._

We walked into the double doors as a strong fan of cold air hit my face. I didn't even bring a big enough jacket.

"We get skates over here." Stallone said as I followed her to a different desk.

"8." She said handing her ticket over to the man who went and got her skates.

"Size 7 ½" I said as I handed him my ticket right after.

He handed me my skates before I turned to see Stallone sitting at a bench putting hers on. I rolled my eyes again as I walked over to her.

"Stallone what's the point of this if I can't skate."

She finished tying her skate before she looked up at me and smiled. "Has the thought ever crossed your mind that I brought you here to give you some free lessons from a pro?"

…_.Well no…._

I didn't say anything. I just sat down beside her and put my own skates on.

"C'mon." She grabbed my arm and stood me up in which I literally fell onto the ground.

She laughed. "These aren't roller skates you have to balance. Use those ankles girl." She said as she helped me up.

She helped me walk to the ice and luky me the place wasn't packet at all. There were only a few skaters in the rink.

Stallone stepped onto the floor and instantly did a twirl before she helped me onto the ice.

"Stallone I'm going to bust my head!"

She laughed. "Naw you won't. I wouldn't let that happen." She said as she locked arms with me.

"Ice skating is all about balance. Good balance, good skater."

_When did she become the ice skating pro?_

I just nodded as I let her pull me slowly along with her.

I lost my balance and almost fell but she caught me quick bring me back up.

"See. Told you I got you."

I smiled as she winked at me.

"I want to watch you. Maybe I can learn from watching." I suggested as we came to another wall.

She nodded. "Okay stay right here. Watch."

She made sure I was okay with holding onto the wall before she skated off. She was going slow at first but sped up as she did a small jump landing perfectly on her feet. She turned around and skated backwards as she moved her feet so smoothly with the wind from her movement blowing her hair to the front.

She looked amazing! When did she learn this!?

She did another spin this time landing on one foot as she held the other one out in front of her as she squatted down low before coming back up and skating back over to me doing a side slide to stop herself.

"Wow."I smiled.

"Liked what you see?" She smiled with confidence.

"Where did you learn how to do all that!?"

She looked sad for a moment before she erased the emotion from her face. "Evelyn." She stated plainly before she grabbed my arm again.

"Want to learn some stuff?"

I nodded.

We ice skated for a little while longer as she showed me how to do some basic ice skating before I told her I needed a break and that's when she let me go in the middle of the rink and started to skate away.

"Stallone!"

She started to laugh as she made circles around me.

"Yes?"

"You know I can't skate alone!"

"Have you tried?"

"I'm going to fall!"

"Have you tried?" She asked again.

"No."

"Well try."

I rolled my eyes and took a small breath as I tried to move and instantly I hit the ice.

"See!" I said as I tried to get up but couldn't.

She laughed. "Sorry. I really believed you could do it."

"Well you believed wrong!" I smiled. "Please help me!" I said as I still struggled to get up.

I sat flat on my butt as the cold ice started to get through my pants. She skated behind me and I instantly felt her hands go under my arms and pull me up to my feet before she put one arm to the back of my legs and scooped me in her arms.

"Oh my gosh put me down you're going to drop me!"

"If you keep squirming I will!"

I instantly froze in her arms. I didn't want to fall.

She skated me all the way over to the edge of the rink where carpet was and gently put me to my feet before she stepped onto the carpet as well.

"Enough?" She lifted a brow. I nodded.

"C'mon let's go eat."

_She's taking me to eat too?_

It didn't take us long to get out of the skates and into the car. The restaurant she took me too called_ Safari's_ was a pretty nice sit down restaurant.

"Here's your drinks, we'll have your order right out." The waiter said before she walked off.

Stallone put her elbow on the table before she rested her chin in her palm.

I smiled. "You know putting you elbow on the table is rude."

"Oh sorry." She said before she put her other elbow on the table as well. "Is that better?

I smiled and shook my head. "How would that be better?" I laughed.

"Well you said it's rude to have my_ elbow_ on the table…so I figured if I put both _elbows_ on the table I wouldn't be breaking any rules." She lifted a brow.

I laughed again. _She's just like Jade. _

I think it's so funny how technically Jade is my mother and technically Tori is her's, but I'm always compared to Tori while she's always compared to Jade. I had a friend even tell me I looked like Tori….which had to be the biggest lie in history!

She took a drink of her water before she looked over at me with serious eyes as she removed her elbows from the table.

"How are you Shiloh?"

I put my head down. For some reason after having Sunshine pop up in my mind all day and I was okay, I break down at the small thought of her _now_. Tears filled my eyes and I tried so hard to hold them in but I couldn't. I put my hands to my face and cried as softly as I could. It didn't hurt as near as much as it had last night, but it still hurt a little and I had to let the rest out.

I felt a body next to mine and an arm go around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Shiloh." Stallone whispered to me as she pulled me as close as she could to her.

My face went to her chest as I let out quiet sobs as I felt her hand stroking my hair. After only a few minutes of the small episode I was wiping away my tears and sitting back up.

"You okay?" She asked as she still stroked my hair.

I nodded as I continued to wipe my eyes.

"Here." She said as I felt a napkin wipe over my eyes as I knew she was wiping the running make-up from my face.

"You good?" She asked as she held my face in her hands.

I nodded.

She scooted out of my side of the booth and moved back over to hers.

I looked around to see if I caused any attention to myself, but luckily no one seemed to notice my little episode.

The waiter came with our food moments later before disappearing again.

I looked down at my plate and I really wasn't even hungry. I don't feel like eating.

"Eat." Stallone said to me as if she read my mind.

"Can I just take it home?"

"No. You're going to eat. You haven't eaten all day and I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten anything before I came this morning."

I sighed as I looked down at the plate of food sitting in front of me.

"You've lost a lot of weight Shiloh. I don't want you getting sick. Has Jade or Tori not been making you eat?"

I shook my head. I don't think they've been paying much attention to whether I eat or not, because I really haven't been eating much. I just haven't been hungry.

"Yeah well you're definitely eating tonight because I'm making sure of it." She said as she took a bite or her own food.

I sighed as I picked up my fork and started to eat slowly.

"How are you doing in school?"

I shrugged as I started to play with the food. "Not so well."

"Things will get better for you."

"I know they will." I gave a small smile. "I just…really miss her."

Stallone turned away from me for a minute before she turned back to me. "I know." She said with tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

She reached her hand across the table and grabbed mine. "I love you Shiloh. I know I'm a bullshiter sometimes…well 99% of the time, but I truly deeply am so sorry." She said as a tear fell from her eye.

I scooted from my booth and slid into hers as I let my arms wrap around her body tight. I forgive her. Of course I forgive her. I always do and I understand. She did have Evelyn as well to be with and it probably was hard for her. I can't blame Stallone for not being there but she is here. That's all that matters now.

* * *

**[Beck's & Tori's Text]**

Beck: Hey how's Cat?

Tori: Did Jade tell you?

Beck: Tell me what?

Tori: That she found out about Sunshine last night.

Beck: She did!? How did she take it?

Tori: She's just been crying all day non stop and when I say all day I mean all day. She keeps screaming her name every so often apologizing for not being there it's really hard to watch.

Beck: I feel so bad for her.

Tori: I kind of do too. And on top of that she keeps begging for drugs. She's tried to run off every chance she gets but Jade holds her down now because she knows she's most likely running back to it because of the news.

Beck: It has to be so hard to come home and have your child just…gone. I can't imagine the pain she's in right now.

Tori: I can't either. I think she's going to need to go to a doctor though.

Beck: What do you mean? Why?

Tori: I think she's kind of sick. I don't think the right thing to do is hold her back from something her body has been hooked on for who knows how long. That's something you slowly get off of right?

Beck: I don't know much about that stuff. We need to get her into rehab.

Tori: Can you please look up some places you think we might can take her. We are still trying to find a place to take Shiloh. We think we might have found a place today. She needs someone professional to talk to.

Beck: Is she still doing the alter ego thing?

Tori: I think she might be done with it, but we still want her to talk to someone anyways.

Beck: Yeah I understand. I'm going to stop by on my way home from work. Is that fine?

Tori: Yes it's fine.

Beck: Okay I'll just see you guys then k?

Tori: Alright.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and all the reviews! I love you guys! **


	15. The Heart

Chapter 15

_The Heart_

**[Beck's & Evelyn's Text]**

Evelyn: Can I come see Kulado?

Beck: Yes! Please come see your brother. He misses you so much Ev!

Evelyn: I'll be there a little later.

Beck: Hey just meet us at Tori's house. I have to get him from school then we are going to visit them.

Evelyn: Alright.

Beck: How are you doing?

Evelyn: I'm fine.

Beck:….Okay Ev. We'll talk we I see you.

Evelyn: Mhm

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

I sat cuddled with Marcus as we sat on the living room couch watching a horror movie. Trina was out for the night after asking me a thousand times if it was okay for her to go out. I love the new mom I have. My life is so perfect right now, besides the fact of my hearts still aching at the loss of my best friend, but I know she's in a better place. So I can still smile knowing she's smiling too.

"Are you scared?" Marcus asked as he held me tighter because I flinched at a monster like object on the screen.

I chuckled. "A little bit."

The movie finally went off and I reached over and turned the lamp back on before I gave a long stretch.

"Sleepy?" Marcus lifted a brow at me.

I nodded. "A little bit."

"Well I should get home then. I'll come by tomorrow around noon. We can have lunch."

I nodded as we stood up together. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as his hand went to my waist. We shared a small kiss before he let go and turned for the door.

"Why don't you stay the night?" I suggested. Trina was gone and I just didn't want to be alone tonight. Plus it wouldn't be the first time he's spent the night. He stays over a lot. I love the way he holds me at night and lets me fall to sleep in his arms. I feel so…loved.

He shrugged as he turned back around to me. "Alright."

"Do you want to shower?" I asked as he followed me to my room.

"No I'm good. I just took one before I came over. I smelled like fast food. I hate working at Burger King." He sighed as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I chuckled. "Then get a new job babe."

"It's hard!"

I chuckled again. "I'm going to shower. I'll be right back. Watch TV or do whatever it is that Marcus' do." I laughed.

It didn't take me long to get all squeaky clean and dressed before returning to my room to see Marcus half way under my blankets with his beater and basketball shorts on.

"So do all guys just wear chill clothes under you all's regular clothes?"

He shrugged. "Yeah pretty much."

I crawled into the bed beside him getting under the covers as I scooted close to him letting my head lay on his chest and my arm go around his stomach.

He clicked the TV off as the room filled with my opened blinds moon light. He gave me a kiss on my forehead. "Love you Babe." He said as he wrapped his arm around me.

"I love you too."

I lifted my head up so that our lips met softly. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip before I opened and let our tongues met sweetly. He always tastes like mints.

Our kisses deepened as I felt his hand move to my butt and give it a gentle squeeze making me let out a sound that I didn't purposely make so I pulled away. It scared me.

"I'm sorry. Did I do too much?" He asked very sincerely.

I shook my head. "No. I was just…surprised I guess."

"I'll stop if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"It's fine." I said meeting his lips again.

Marcus and I had the sex conversation a few times. I've just been so scared to do it. I've never had sex before and it just seems like…a scary thing. I know he really wants to go another step with me, but I won't let him and he's been completely understanding about it. I mean he hasn't been mad or anything. He told me that he loves me no matter what and he will wait as long as he needs too even if it's forever. He said he wants to make love to me. He wants to show me how much he loves me and I'm just being a bitch about it. He wants to take our relationship to the next level and Lord knows I do to. But what if he doesn't like me? What if I'm no good? What if I'm not as pretty as other girls, what if he runs off after I give it up…what if, what if, what if.

I know he wouldn't do that to me; run off. He loves me, and I know he does. He just wants to show me. Maybe I'll let him. Maybe I should.

"Marcus." I whispered to him.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

I found his hand and let my fingers slip in between the spaces of his. "I think I'm ready."

He turned to me. "Are…are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Bailey I don't want to rush you into anything. I want you to want to make love to me come naturally. Not because I'm ready. I'll wait for you to be ready too. It's no biggy."

I sat up and threw my leg over him as I set on top of him. I looked down into his eyes letting my hair fall to one side. "I am ready." I said as I leaned down and kissed him passionately. He grabbed onto me and flipped us over so that now he was on top. "Bailey Vega, are you positive?"

Am I positive I want to give my innocents to this man….? Yes. Yes I am.

"Yes Marcus. You're unlike any guy I've ever known. You've treated me with so much kindness and respect. You've made me feel beautiful. You helped me find me. You took the time to listen, to be there and I love you. There's no other man that I would want to be with. I'm so glad you came into my life and to show you that I want to give you something that no one's ever had. I want to give you something that I can never get back. It will belong to you, forever. And I trust you with that. I love you."

I could tell by the way he looked at me that my words touched his heart. He leaned in and kissed me with more passion than all of our kisses ever put together.

"Just relax. I love you." He said as he left my lips and started to kiss down my neck slowly and softly. My body instantly got hot all over; a feeling I've never felt.

He sucked softly on my pulse point as he placed his knee to my center making me let out another soft sound that I once again didn't give permission to be free.

I felt a small tug on the edge of my shirt and I hesitated a little before I lifted my arms and let him free me of it. He's seen me in my bra and panties before so I don't know why I'm bugging.

His kisses left my neck and started to trail down to the top of my breast that set firmly in my purple bra. I felt his hand reach behind me and undo it in one motion but he didn't remove it. He instead looked me in my eyes as if to get permission to in which I nodded.

He grabbed the straps of the bra and pulled it slowly down my arms as I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to see his reaction. What if he hated them?

"Bailey." He whispered to me. I bit my lower lip and opened my eyes to see a small smile on his face. "You are so beautiful."

I blushed before I felt his tongue give a small flicker over my left nipple causing my back to arch to him. He latched his lips onto it softly and oh god it felt so good!

"Mmmm." I moaned as he moved over to my right nipple giving it the same gentle soft treatment all the while my center is starting to throb for attention. He unlatched my nipple and used his tongue to lick his way down the rest of my body before stopping and sitting up once he reached my pants. I reached down and slid out of my small shorts before he had a chance to touch them. I watched his face as he gave a light chuckle and my heart instantly dropped.

_Why is he laughing? _

"What?" I said almost at the verge of tears.

He shook his head. "You are soaked. I barely did anything." He smiled as he stared at my panties.

_Should I be embarrassed?_

"..Uhh I'm..sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He said as he put his hand on my stomach as he let his thumb slide up my slit. "Uahh.." I instantly bucked at his touch.

"Are you sensitive?"

I nodded. I was very sensitive. Riding a bike could get me off. I don't masturbate much but when I do it's just so amazing…and the thought of having someone else do it for me….wow.

He played around with my slit through the wet fabric a little more before he grabbed the helm of my panties. That's when my heart rate sped up.

I'm about to let this man do something to me no one has done before. Oh god I'm scared.

"Bailey it's okay." He said as he let go of the helm. I guess_ scared_ was written all over my face.

"We don't have to do this." He said.

_Yeah right we've made it this far!_

"I want it."

He nodded as he grabbed the helm again and started to pull them down slowly with the small help of me lifting my body to get them over my butt.

I closed my eyes once again. This is the moment of truth.

"God Bailey you're so beautiful." I didn't have a chance to say anything before he quickly laid out and slid his tongue up my slit. "Oh my god!" My eyes flew open as my hand went to the back of his head. I felt his lips latched softly around my clit and if I say I didn't see flashing lights of colors I've never seen before I would be lying. "Mmmmarrccc ahhhh!" He sucked gently on my small nerve causing pleasure to move throughout my whole body and I don't know if it's wrong to cum this quick but I couldn't hold anything. "freeeeeeeakkkkk ahhhhhh I'm gonna….I'm…ahhhh shiiiit!" I scream as waves of pleasure took over me and my center throbbed uncontrollably. He kept on working magic with his tongue helping me ride out my orgasm before he sat up with a wet face and I instantly felt bad. I got him all dirty, but he didn't seem to mind as he wiped it off with his own shirt. I watched as he pulled down his own shorts along with his boxers letting his man hood free which seemed to been in jail the way it busted from his pants and I'm not kidding, the thing was fucking huge. And it's supposed to…go inside…me. That's going to hurt.

_Am I supposed to suck it? He did me. I have to do him right?_

He didn't even come close to asking me to suck his manhood. Instead he slid on a condom and positioned himself at my entrance as he spread my legs a little further.

"Bailey, it's your first time, so it might hurt a little okay. I'll take it real slow. Just relax."

I just nodded. I was so scared of pain.

"mmm." I moaned as he let the head rub over my clit a few times before pushing the head slowly to my entrance which already didn't feel nice. He started to push in further as my eyes closed tight and my hands gripped the sheets. God it hurts so bad! _How can women take this!? _ "Marcus…" I said through gritted teeth as he kept pushing in slowly. "I'm so sorry baby, I promise I don't mean to hurt you. I love you. I love you soo much. You're everything to me; my life, my love, my all." He whispered as he kept slowly pushing into me. He leaned in and kissed me before he pulled back. "It's in."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as my nails dug into the sheets. As long as he didn't move I was okay, but I know he gets no pleasure from this. "Move…slowly." I whispered to him in which he did so. "rrrrrrrrrrrrrr." I moaned in pain as I felt like my insides were on fire. "Bailey I'm sorry. Maybe I should stop." He said as he pulled out which I can't lie it was a great relief. "Baby no. I have to open up sooner or later. We might as well get this over with now."

"But I don't like seeing you hurt."

I sighed as I got an idea. I knew it would hurt but it will get things over with faster. "Just do it fast. Hard."

"But that will be worst." He said with concern.

"It will make me open up quicker. Just do it. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure Bailey?"

"I'm positive." I said as I closed my eyes. I was still so wet for him so sliding in wouldn't be a problem. "Go."

I heard him give a sigh as he pushed the head in slowly again. "Are you sure?"

"Yess! Go!"

I felt him slam into me hard causing great pain in my whole pelvic area before he repeated and repeated. _Why does this hurt so fucking much!?_

_Take it like a man Bailey…_

Finally after what seemed like ages the pain started to turn into pleasure. And thank God it did because I didn't think I could take it anymore.

"Ahhhhhh shiittt Marcus…..yesssss." He slammed hard into me as sweat covered both our bodies. I could tell he was close by the way he pumped harder and groaned my name. "Fuck, I love you Bailey…I love you ahh Bailey.." "Mmmm I lo…lovee you too." He said before taking my thigh and pushing up against my stomach. Instantly his manhood started hitting just the right spot causing pleasure to bolt through my entire body with every thrust. "Awwwhhh Fuckkk Marccccuuussssss" "I'm fuck…I'm about to cum Bailey.." "ahhhh…mmm meee…me tooo…..fuckkkk don't Stoppppp!"

"Fuck Bailey!"

"Marcus!"

We screamed each other names as waves of pleasure took over both our bodies. Once we came down from our highs we shared a passion kiss. But this kiss was different.

"Remember in the park when you told me you were in love with me?"

He nodded.

"I'm in love with you too. So much."

He smiled as we shared another kiss.

_There's never been a greater moment in my life then this moment I've just shared here, now with the love of my entire life…_

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**[Beck's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

Moments later Jade opened the door with a look of exhaustion.

"You okay?" I asked as I and Kulado walked in.

"No Cat is being a fucking hand full. She keeps breaking things, she knocks her food off the table, she won't stop screaming and crying…..it's a lot."

"Where's Tori?"

"She went out to go get some more eggs for dinner because our little friend Cat decided she wanted to throw eggs everywhere. I can't take my eyes off of her."

"Okay where is she now since your eyes are clearly not on her." I asked looking around the empty house.

"I left her for one minute I hope she's fine." She said walking back into the den with me and Kulado following behind.

Cat sat in the corner of the couch in a ball crying as she rocked back and forth. Under her eyes were black puffs from way too much crying she obviously had been doing. I felt bad for her. I mean who can't feel bad for her? I know she's done wrong but…she's lost her daughter for crying out loud and she wasn't even here to…tell her goodbye. That's not something that can be fixed.

"Mommy!"

Cat instantly looked up from her crying ball. "Baby!" She screamed as she opened her arms.

Kulado ran over to her so fast I could have sworn he flew. Cat wrapped her arms around him so tight and kissed him over and over and over again. She repeated over 100 times how much she loved him and how sorry she was and of course Kulado forgives her. He's only 7…mentally 4. He's going to forgive his mother no matter what because that's all children see; the heart.

"Guess what mommy?" He asked with a huge smile.

"What?" She smiled back as she wiped her tears.

"I've been at Uncle Beck's house and I played with Mike! And guess what! Roxy taught me how to tie my shoes!" He said bringing his foot up so that she could see his work.

"That sounds so great Kulado." She said as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Why are you still crying?"

"Because…because I've missed you and I love you."

"Are you going to leave again mommy?"

She shook her head. "No baby. I won't. I'm sorry."

"We can go home tonight!?"

She shook her head. "Not tonight baby. But soon okay?"

"Where am I going to go?"

"You go back with Uncle Beck for a little while longer okay. Did you thank him for letting you stay?"

He shook his head before he turned to me. "Thanks."

I smiled. "Anytime little buddy."

"Now all we have to do is find Daddy, Evelyn, and Sunshine and we can be together and happy again." He smiled.

Cat lost her smile as she glanced up at me shaking her head as if she were asking why is he asking about Sunshine.

I sighed. "We've told him Cat. He doesn't understand."

I watched as Cat covered her face as she started to cry again into her hands with her son still holding onto her. "You deal with her this time." Jade said as she walked over and scooped Kulado in her arms before walking out of the den with him.

I walked over and sat down beside her as I put my arm around her gently.

"Everything is my fault!" She cried.

"Cat-"

"-Don't try to say it's not! I tore my family apart! I swear I didn't mean it Beck. He forced me to take them! I didn't want them I swear I didn't. I would never do anything like this to my family! I'm so sorry! My daughter is gone Beck! I can't bring her back! Oh god I love her so much! Why is this happening to me!? What have I done!? Why couldn't it have been me! Not my daughter! I'm so sorry Sunshine! Do you know what it like to leave and come home to your daughter's grave Beck!? Do you know!?" She cried so hard into me and my heart ached so bad for her. I don't know I would feel if I was in her position and I came home and someone told me Roxy had died. I would die. I just wouldn't be able to handle that.

"Dude!" I lifted my head quick to see Evelyn standing in the doorway. I never even heard her come in.

"What's this bitch doing here!?"

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**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	16. Monsters Don't Deserve Life

Chapter 16

_Monsters Don't Deserve Life_

**[Evelyn's POV]**

"Evelyn…just calm down okay." Beck said as he stood up.

"Oh I'm calm." I said as I tapped my foot on the ground and crossed my arms.

"Evelyn." Caterina said as she stood up and wiped fake ass tears from her eyes. It took everything in me to not charge at her at this very moment.

"Leave Beck. I want to talk to her alone." I said as I kept my eyes on Caterina.

Beck sighed. "Don't say anything you will regret Evelyn. She's not in a position for too much right now alright. I know you're upset, but just take a breath and give her time."

_Oh she'll get some time….to fucking heal._

"Mhmm." I said as I kept tapping my foot trying to hold myself from charging at her.

"Evelyn. I'm serious."

"I said okay." I said eyeing him. He finally nodded and walked out of the small den and I closed the big doors behind him with a lock.

I turned back around to Caterina. _Who is this person?_

"Ev-"

"Shut up. Just shut the hell up."

"But Evelyn, I-"

"You're sorry? Fuck that! I don't want to hear that! The question is why?"

I watched as she shook her head. "Evelyn I don't know I'm-"

I just laughed over her. "I just couldn't wait until this day Caterina. I just could not wait."

"You…w..why?"

"So I could show you something."

"Show me what?"

"What you fucking deserve!" I said as I walked over to her and back hand slapped her making her fall onto the ground.

I turned her over and sat on top of her to hold her down and I just exploded. All the anger that I've been having to hold in toward her now rushed out of me all at once as I threw punch after punch to her face. I didn't understand the words that came from my own mouth but with every punch every word meant something. I heard banging on the doors that I so gladly locked as Beck and Jade scream my name telling me to stop as Caterina scream and cried for help; begging me to stop. But I'm not going to stop. I never want to stop. I want her fucking dead! I don't know who this is that lay beneath me. She's not my mother. She's a monster and monsters don't deserve life.

She somehow got me off of her before she started to crawl away but I grabbed her leg making her fall onto her stomach.

"Evelyn! Please stop!" She cried as I turned her back over and put my hands around her neck tight.

"Trade me for drugs bitch you see what you get! You don't give two shits about me why the hell should I give one about you! It hurts doesn't it!? You can't breathe can you!? That's how it feels Caterina! You fucking feel this shit too!"

I heard the door bust open before I felt a pair of hands try to pry me off of Caterina's neck in which my grip was getting tighter. Her fighting back was starting to become weak and I just don't give a shit what happens to her right now.

"Fuck Evelyn stop! Let go!" I heard Jade yell as she scratched my arms but that isn't going to stop me.

All of a sudden Jade reached a fist back and punched me in my stomach hard knocking the air out of me which made me let go of my grip as my hands went straight to my stomach. The pain was agonizing.

_Why is she hurting me!? What the hell have I done!? _

I rolled over on my side as tears start to heavily flow from my eyes. I heard Caterina coughing in the back ground and the realization of what I almost did just hit me making me cry even more.

I felt loving arms warp around me and sit me up before being pulled into a hug.

"I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt you." Jade said.

I looked over her shoulder to see Caterina crying her eyes out as she coughed and bled from her face.

"All she wanted was you!" I said through my sobs. Jade pulled out of the hug and looked at me confusedly as I still stared at Caterina. "And you couldn't even be there to tell her you love her!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I did! What was I supposed to do!?"

"Sorry doesn't fix anything Cat!" I said as I stood up and walked closer to where she sat with Jade still hanging onto me. "I don't care want you didn't mean to do! You weren't there! You were supposed to be there for your family Caterina! For your daughter! But apparently drugs are more important huh? Being on cloud nine is just the best thing that's ever happened to you right?"

"I didn't even know she was sick!"

"Oh don't feed me that bullshit! I came and told you! You wouldn't fucking listen!"

"No you hadn't! If you had I would have came-"

"Yes I did! I found you Cat! And I told you…I fucking told you Sunshine was sick and you know what you did!?"

She looked at me as more tears filled her eyes.

I stomped my foot. "Damn it do you know what you did!?"

"Evelyn."

"You were willing and ready to trade me for some drugs! SOME DRUGS!"

Caterina's cries got deep as she tried to look me in my eyes. "That never happened." She cried as if she doesn't remember that whatsoever.

"Yes it did! We found you in this beat up fucked up crackified house! I sat there….I sat there and told you that Sunshine...that she was sick….but you did. Not. Care. You didn't fucking care you laughed! You laughed and tried to trade me! You fucked up piece of shit! Ugh! I hate you Cat! I hate you!"

"Evelyn-"

I held my hand up to shut her up as I immediately calmed myself and softened my own crying. I walked over to my bag I had dropped onto the floor and reached in before pulling out the red flower of hers that Sunshine held onto so dearly.

I walked over to Caterina and grabbed her hand before placing the flower in it. "This is all she had of you. She asked everyday if you were coming home. And the day I went out to find you and you did what you did to me I had to go back into that hospital room, sit there with a smile and tell your daughter that you told me to tell her that you loved her. She was so happy to hear that. She was so happy to know that she has a mother out there who loves her even though you weren't by her side. She held onto so much hope that you would come home. But it was all a lie. You didn't love her. You didn't fucking care." I looked up to stop so many tears from flowing. "Do you know what her last words were Cat? Do you know?"

I watched as Caterina shook her head as tears fell from her eyes. "_'I just wish mom was here now. I miss her so much' _those where her last words before I promised…before I promised her that you would be home soon and she went to sleep with that flower and that faith."

I paused for a second as I looked away and wiped more tears before turning back to her. "She didn't even wake up that morning Cat. She didn't fucking wake up! Where the hell were you!?" I said as I pushed her hard before Beck and Jade grabbed onto me. I had forgotten they were even in the room. They just kept quiet.

I watched as Caterina buried her face in her hands as she sob onto the flower that she still held tight.

"Fuck this. Where's my brother?" I asked as I turned to Beck drying my eyes.

Beck turned to Jade with a lifted brow.

"He upstairs watching cartoons." She said as she ran her hand through my hair.

"We're leaving." I said as I turned for the door.

"Wait! Where do you expect to go with him?" Beck asked as he grabbed my arm.

I snatched it back. "Where ever the hell I want to."

"Evelyn I'm not letting you take Kulado anywhere in the condition you are in."

"What condition!?" I yelled at him.

"I'm not letting you." He said simply again.

"Fine! Fuck it! Fuck you! And you!" I said pointing to Beck then Caterina. "And fuck you too for hitting me!" I said as I pointed to Jade before I stormed off.

"Ev-"

Was all I heard before I slammed the front door. I walked over to my car and hopped in but I couldn't figure out how to work it. All I could do was sit there in the dark.

I heard the passenger's door open and close before I felt a pair of soft arms go round me and I couldn't help but wrap my arms just as tightly back before I let out a piercing scream that turned into sobs.

It hurts so much. Nobody would understand the pain I'm feeling right now. Nobody. Why am I in this alone? Nobody is here to fell this pain with me and it makes everything 100 times worst. I just really want to die. That's all I want! I wish the world would just end right now. Please somebody kill me!

"Shhh Evelyn. I'm so sorry. I love you." I could have sworn it was Jade with her arms wrapped around me so lovingly until I heard the soft soothing voice of Tori. I love Tori. She's always there. She's so gentle, sweet and loving. I could talk to her anytime and feel comfortable with doing so. And that's what I'll do. I need to..just…just talk. Just let some things out. And I know Tori will listen. She won't judge me. She loves me. I know she sincerely does.

_I'm just glad somebody like her does….._

* * *

**[Shiloh's POV]**

"Ummm…198?"

I laughed. "If I'm thinking of a number between 1 through 100 how could it be 198?"

Stallone shrugged as she stopped at a stoplight. "It could have been a trick question."

"It wasn't a question at all!" I laughed.

I've had so much fun with Stallone today. I needed this. Not just getting out and getting my mind off of things, but I need this…this thing I have with my sister now. It's like we always become close then she drifts away from me…then we are close again and she drifts away again. I just hope this time she doesn't drift away from me. I need her in my life. I wish she needed me as much as I need her and maybe we wouldn't always drift apart. I love my sister. I love her so much.

"What are you doing tomorrow night? Want to go out or something?" She asked.

I smiled. I love when she wants to take me out it's the best time.

I was just about to say yes when I remembered about the small date with Roxy.

"I can't tomorrow."

"Why not?"

I put my head down. I don't know if telling her about Roxy would be such a good idea. What if she like…hits me or something…okay that wouldn't happen. But she might not approve. I don't want her mad at me but then again she will find out sooner or later then she really would be mad that I didn't tell her.

I sighed. "I'm going out already."

"With who? Bailey?"

I shook my head before I hesitated the name. "Roxy."

Her smile softened but didn't disappear. "Roxy? My Roxy?"

I nodded.

"Where are yall going? When did yall become good friends?"

"The movies. And I don't know."

That's when her smile disappeared. "..The movies? What she asked you to go?"

"Yeah."

"And you're going to do it?"

"Yes."

"Like a….a date or something?"

I shrugged. "Maybe I guess, I don't know Stallone." I lied. It was definitely like a date.

"Shiloh are you crazy?"

I shook my head.

"You're not going." She said as she pulled onto our street.

I sighed. She can't tell me what to do. "I am going. And why can't I? We are just hanging out."

"I know Roxy Shiloh. If she asked you to the movies she's not just _"hanging out."_ When the hell did yall become that close to hang out? Never." She said answering her own question.

"Stallone leave me alone okay. If she wants to take me out then let her."

"You're trying to go out with Roxy!? Seriously!? Did your girlfriend not just die like yesturday!?"

I felt my heart stop as my breath got caught in my throat.

_That hurt. That fucking hurt._

It got silent for a moment. "…Shiloh…I didn't..I didn't mean to say it like-"

"-Whatever." I said as she pulled into the driveway and turned her car off. I started to get out but she grabbed my arm.

"Shiloh I'm so sorry I-"

"-I said whatever, it's okay, whatever." I snatched my arm from her as I continued to get out of the car.

I felt my eyes fill with tears as I walked slowly to the front door.

If I want to go out with Roxy I will! Sunshine died okay I get it! It's been almost 2 months! What do I do? Cry about it everyday or move on? I don't want to move on I really do just want my Sunshine back. I want everything to be how it used to be. I was the happiest person I swear. Being with Sunshine were the happiest moments of my life so far. But in this world nobody can be happy. The world isn't satisfied until you just about want to kill yourself and that's just life and I'm going to take what it throws at me now and keep moving. And Stallone isn't going to stop me. How can she tell me what to do when she just showed up today? Forget her.

_I'm going to do me._

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**Thanks for reading! Please REVIEW! :)**


	17. Bitch Syndrome

**Sorry it took so long for an update. Iv'e been so busy with school & work. Anyways here's Chapter 17! Enjoy! ;)**

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Chapter 17

_Bitch Syndrome _

**[Tori's POV]**

I heard the front door open and then slam before I took my eyes off of the T.V. and glanced in that direction. I watched as Shiloh went to hang her jacket but missed the hook and let the jacket fall to the floor. Ignoring it, she started up the stairs without a single glance in my direction.

"Hey hold it right there." I said as I stood up. She stopped walking and turned to me with folded arms and teary eyes.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

The front door opened again this time Stallone walked through with sad eyes as well.

_What's going on?_

"Shiloh, listen really, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I am."

"I bet. Why don't you go talk to your girlfriend since she's alive _today!_" With that Shiloh rolled her eyes and finished up the stairs.

I turned to Stallone with mad eyes. "What did you do now!?"

Stallone looked at me as if she was trying so hard to hold back tears before she shook her head and started towards the door.

I gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "What's bothering you?" I asked as she turned to face me. "I mean I know you can be a brat, and that's just you, but you seem…extra bratty lately. What's wrong?"

She looked up so the tears in her eyes wouldn't fall as she shrugged and spoke with a cracked voice. "I don't know Tori."

"Come here." I grabbed her hand and led her to the couch making her sit down with me. I watched as she took her sleeve and wiped her eyes before anything decided to fall without her permission.

"What's going on?"

"Evelyn broke up with me." She blurted out as she put her head down.

"What!? When?"

She shrugged. "Not too long ago." She wiped her eyes again.

My heart instantly broke for her. Stallone and Evelyn have been together in a strong tight relationship for over 2 years.

"Stallone she'll come back. Don't take it to heart. Just understand that she's going through a tough time right now. I mean she's lost… practically everyone and-"

"-She hasn't lost me."

I nodded. "You're right she hasn't but-"

"-Then why would she leave me when she knows that she needs someone the most?" She asked as a tear slipped from her eye.

Stallone's never really been so open with me. She rarely comes to me for help and or advice. And it's so different seeing her like this.

"Well because-"

"-Because sometimes people are too blind to see how much they really need someone." Jade said as she walked into the living room from the back hall.

She walked over to the couch and sat on the ottoman in front of Stallone.

"She'll come back Stallone. She just needs time to realize how much she actually needs you. Especially after what happened today."

"What happened today?" Stallone asked as she turned from Jade to me back to Jade.

I wasn't around to see the mother daughter fight Jade claimed to be so "epic". I only caught Evelyn running to her car crying her eyes out and I couldn't help but go and comfort her. She told me she'd be fine and that she will talk to me soon before she left. When I finally saw Cat my mouth dropped. Her healing black eyes were now getting dark again as her face held many bruises. She had four nail marks on each side of her neck which Jade told me Evelyn did by choking the mess out of her. I didn't know whether to feel sad for Cat or laugh. Because she deserved what she got. She had it coming for her. I'm just surprised Jade didn't do it. Evelyn? I couldn't believe it when she told me what she did to her mother. Evelyn is…so sweet. You would never think she had that side to her.

After Jade briefly explained the altercation between Evelyn and her mother and how Cat is now upstairs fast asleep, Stallone just sighed as she stood up and stretched.

"This is too much I'm going to bed."

Jade stood up as well before grabbing Stallone's hands in hers. "Everything will straighten out alright. I don't want you worrying about anything. Evelyn loves you Stallone. She'll come back. Just give her space and time. You haven't left her heart. She really needs you and she will realize that sooner than later. Just be patient okay baby doll." Jade leaned in and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, goodnight."

With that Jade walked over and grabbed my hand making me stand up and walk with her towards the stairs as glanced back at Stallone who sat on the couch biting her nail as if she was in deep thought. I really didn't want to leave her like that.

"Wait." I said softly to Jade before I turned to Stallone. "Hey are you staying here tonight?"

She didn't budge.

"Hey! Marco!" Jade yelled out as she crossed her arms sounding a little irritated because I'm probably being my own pussy blocker. Not that she could do anything with me anyways with Cat sleeping in the middle of our bed….but then again she is Jade. She will find ways.

Stallone shot her head up before she turned to us with a lifted brow.

"Are you staying here tonight?"

She shrugged. "I might just go back to my dorm."

"How about you sleep with us?" I suggested.

"Sleep in a room with you guys….I'll pass."

I laughed. "C'mon Stallone, like old times."

"Yeah when I was what….5?"

Jade grabbed my hand tight in hers before I smiled. "Well alright. If you do decide to leave make sure you lock the door behind you okay? Goodnight."

* * *

**[Stallone's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Go away I'm sleep."

I smiled. "If you're sleep how are you talking to me telling me that you are asleep?"

"Stallone go away please."

I frowned. I hate that I hurt her

"Noooooo open the door pleaseeeee."

She knows that I hate to beg so when I do she knows I'm serious.

I heard a huge sigh before the door unlocked. I smiled as I opened it up and walked in the dark room closing it back behind me.

"Dude cut on some lights or something." I said as I walked clumsily over to her bed.

I heard a small sound as she opened the blinds of her windows before opening them up letting moon light into her room. "Happy?" She said in an aggravated tone before sitting as far away from me as she could on her bed.

I sighed and scooted close to her. "Shiloh I really am sorry about what I said. Sometimes I just don't think."

"Mhm." She said turning away from me.

I sighed. "I guess…I guess I kind of said it from anger. I mean you know what Roxy did to me and now you want to…go on a date with her? It's like…really Shiloh?"

"I just want to move on."

"I mean you can move on without going with the first person who asks. Who is Roxy? There are plenty more fish in the sea, some who you will definitely like."

"Who said I don't like Roxy? Okay she's done what she did to you, that was what? Almost 3 years ago? You have to learn to forgive Stallone or you can never live a happy life. People change."

"I do forgive her Shiloh. I just don't want her to hurt you. I don't trust her."

"We'll I do."

"And that's exactly how you ended up with the all the shit with Johnson."

She turned to me with the most evil look in the world. "Just get the hell out of my room Stallone!" She said as she stood up and stomped her foot pointing to the door.

_Aw shit…Am I stupid or what?_

"Shiloh-"

"-Really Stallone!? Like …fucking really? Just get the hell out." She said as she sat on her bed facing the window turned away from me.

I sighed as I scooted to the edge of the bed where she sat. "Shiloh." I threw my hands up and let them fall. "Okay I'm a bitch. I know it. It's like I can't help it. I was born with bitch syndrome; It's a curse or something. I love you! I. Love. You Shiloh. I'm not going to give you a speech. Just know that I love you okay." I gave her a small pat on the leg before I stood up and walked toward her door.

"Lone."

I turned around to see her stand up and walk towards me. Once she stood directly in front of me she leaned in and all of a sudden gave me a kiss on my lips which made me so uncomfortable I immediately pushed her back.

"Dude, what are you doing!?" I asked sharply but still soft enough so I wouldn't accidently hurt her feelings again, but what the hell is going on in her mind right now?

Even though the room was dark I could see her eyes fill with tears. She walked over and turned a lamp on before turning back to me with big tears falling down her face. "How else am I supposed to get you to love me and actually mean it Stallone? I've tried everything! How else am I supposed to get through to you that I love you so much and I need you, always? Is it that you don't believe me when I say I need you; when I say I love you? Is it that you just like to hurt me; to leave me when I need you the most? Do I have to do something like this to open your eyes and make you realize that I need you Stallone!? I'm tired of you hurting me! You're my sister! My sisterrr! I should be able to go to you with anything and everything whenever I need you. I should be able to talk to you and you actually talk to me back with love and care and good advice because you are my big sister. The only person I could do that with is gone! She's gone now Stallone and I need you! I need you more than ever! Stop throwing these hateful comments at me! What have I ever done to you!? I just lost…everything to me and I wanted to run to you. I wanted you to comfort me and tell me it will be okay. I wanted you to just be there and talk me through the tough time but you didn't and you wouldn't! You weren't here for me and you know Jade and Tori…I can't talk to them like I can talk to you Stallone. So I had no one to run to. I had to fall back on myself. I had to comfort myself by pretending not to even be me and it hurt sooo sooo bad to go through that alone; to go through this alone! You don't know this feeling. I just need someone. I need you. Please, please. I'm trying to get your attention. I'm begging you Stallone! I'm begging you just…be my sister for once! No jokes, no bullshit. Just my sister. Someone who tells me they love me and actually means it from the heart not just saying the words. Someone who say's they'll be here for me, not just saying it at the time being. I need you. I just wish you would need me too Stallone. Then maybe you'd stay."

She wiped her tears before she turned back off her light and then walked back over to her bed and laid down as if nothing ever happened as I stood in shock and hurt.

I'm a shity sister. I know I am. It's like I can't help it. I try and then I like….fall off. I forget what my duties are as a sister and I need to step it up.

_You have a job Stallone. Stop fucking around and be the sister you're supposed to be. Shiloh needs you and you are a just a bitch to her. Like always. You're a bitch._

I wiped a single tear that fell from my own eye before I walked over to the bed and crawled over to where she laid faced away from me. I leaned over her and gave her a kiss on her cheek and I wrapped my arm around her stomach and hugged her from behind. I didn't say a word.

She turned around wrapped her arms around me as she laid her head on my chest and I just held her. I didn't want to say anything as I let her words sink in and within moments I felt her breathing get heavier as she slept in my arms.

More tears fell from my eyes and fell onto her as I kissed her head over and over again.

I'm going to do everything to be this sister I'm supposed to be. No more games. I have to be this sister for her. If I don't then who will? I can't believe I made her go through this…horrible loss alone. Evelyn's definitely not more important than my family even though I love that girl to death, but when it comes down to it Shiloh comes first. What she doesn't know and what I don't even know myself is that I actually do need her. Jade was right. _"…sometimes people are too blind to see how much they really need someone." _I'm the blind one. I'm so positive now that this time…

_I can see._

* * *

**[Cat's Flashback]**

"_Mom?" Seven year old Sunshine asked as she held my hand as we walked in the park._

"_Yes Sunshine?" _

"_What happens when people die?"_

_I smiled. "They go to a beautiful place!"_

"_Even more beautiful than the candy store!?"_

"_Yes way more beautiful than the candy store." I giggled._

"_What does it look like?" She asked as she started to skip._

"_Nobody knows until they pass on."_

"_Will we pass on?"_

"_Yes. Everyone does."_

"_We will go together?"_

_I stopped walking as she stopped skipping before I knelt down in front of her and looked her in her big chocolate eyes. "You see everybody has a different time. You know how grandmom passed on?"_

"_Yes. Is she now in that beautiful place?"_

"_Yes she is and one day you will grow up and have your own children and I will grow old and pass on just like grandmom."_

_She lost her smile. "So you will pass on before me?"_

"_That's how everything is supposed to be but you won't have to worry because you will join me in the beautiful place as well someday. You will see your children have children and you will grow old and come be with me."_

_Her smile returned. "Okay. I love you mommy. I hope we never pass on then we can be together forever!"_

_I smiled as I tapped her nose. "Me too."_

* * *

__**Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	18. No One Needs Me

__**Hey guys I know this chapter is short; but it's short for a reason. ;)**

* * *

_No One Needs Me_

**[Cat's POV]**

"Cat, move over." Jade stated firmly as we laid in the bed with me snuggled up behind. She reached her hand behind her and pushed me away from her before she retrieved her hand and went back to sleep. I turned over to Tori and tried to cuddle with her but she just groaned and turned away from me before I just laid on my back.

Everyone hates me. No matter how much I say I'm sorry, they hate me. No matter how much I'm trying to show I didn't mean any of this; they hate me. No matter how much I'm trying to fix this; l they hate me. No matter what I say, not matter what I do; they hate me.

My head, my eyes, my stomach, my arms, my legs, my feet, my heart, my soul; it hurts. Everything hurts.

I never wanted to go where I ended up. Never. I never planned on getting into drugs like I had. My body shakes for it now, but I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to leave again. I have a son who has faith in me. He's the only one who forgives. I didn't choose the path that I had chosen. It was chosen for me. He put those needles in my arms, he slipped those pills in my cup, he made me addicted. I never wanted to be on my knees begging for that. I never wanted to leave my family just so my body could be satisfied. I never wanted that. I was forced. He made me do it. He wanted to turn me into his…his…whatever he was trying to do. And it worked. I was too weak to stop it.

He left about a month ago. He said he was through with me. He pushed me down and he was gone. I haven't seen him since. I was left alone with my body needing more and more of this…these drugs. I couldn't stop the feeling. So I found ways to get it on my own.

I finally decided it was enough. I needed to go home. The people I've became victim to wouldn't let me go. They beat me, they raped me, they did anything and everything they wanted to. I couldn't leave. They gave me things that made me delirious. I don't even remember half of the things I know I've been through.

One night I finally got away. They were sleeping as I snuck out of a busted window that cut me on the way out. I didn't even know where I was, but I ran anyways. I had no shoes. Bit still I ran and I ran and finally things started looking familiar to me and I knew where I stood. It was a long way, but I didn't care. I was leaving and I wasn't coming back.

Trina.

I was going to run to Trina, but I didn't. I couldn't. She wouldn't care if I showed up. She would let me go like she did sometimes when I did run to her. I ran to her because I knew she would let me go; she wouldn't tell on me and I was so dumb to not stay there when I did, but I couldn't stop the feeling. It hurt. I needed it.

This time…this time I was done. I didn't care how much I needed it, I didn't care how much it hurt. I was done. I abandoned my family for this. I have to go back.

Jade.

I ran to Jade's house. She would help me. I know she would. She's my best….she was my best friend. She was always there. I know I did wrong. I know she still hates me. But I also know she would take me in and take care of me. I just know she would. SO I ran to her. I really want to stop and she will help.

Sunshine.

My…my love, my life, my daughter, my everything. She…she's not…not here anymore. It hurts so bad. Worse than any pain I've ever felt. I couldn't believe the words I was hearing, the scene I was seeing as Shiloh broke down in front of Jade. I didn't understand what was happening. Sunshine…all I heard was Sunshine, she's dead. My heart dropped. Tori had pulled me aside; Nodded her head. It was true. I didn't believe it. My daughter is gone. I missed her last days, I missed her funeral, I missed saying goodbye. What kind of mother am I?

Evelyn.

She hurt me today. She hurt me bad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it Evelyn. She told me that she told me about Sunshine being sick. I don't remember. I don't remember her telling me this. I would have been there! I swear to God I would have been there! I was stupid! What the crap was I doing!? Evelyn hates me. Her words hurt so bad. As she hit me over and over her words "_It's a disgrace to have you as my mother. I regret ever telling you that I love you; it was a lie."_ never leave my mind; never leave my heart. It's ripping my heart into a million pieces. I'm sorry Evelyn. I'm sorry Sunshine.

Kulado.

He missed me, but he still loves me. Does he? Does he even know what love is? He doesn't act like I've done anything wrong and he wouldn't. Any kid with childhood disintegrative disorder would forgive. He most likely doesn't even know what's going on and when he sat in my lap and showed me how he learned how to tie his shoe…it broke my heart. It's something he learned how to do when he was 4. He's not talking very well and he's…he's just getting worst and I…I just wasn't there for him.

_Why am I still laying here? Why am I still in this bed? Who needs me? Really? Who does? Jade and Tori are clearly hating me. Beck…whatever. Sunshine is gone. Kulado will eventually forget who I am. Evelyn wants me dead…maybe I should be. Maybe that will make everyone happier?_

I very gently scooted my way to the end of the bed before I hopped off letting my feet hit the floor softly. I quietly opened the room door before I stepped out closing the door behind me. I walked quietly down the hall before reaching the closet that I opened up before getting to my knees and moving a whole bunch of junk out of the way. I found what I was looking for as I opened the shoe box to see the small black Walther PPK staring right back at me. I reached my hand in and picked up the heavy metal gun before I checked to see that it was loaded. I thank Tori for showing me where they hid this those years back when I first moved back to Hollywood. We just happened to be talking about guns and she wanted to show me the one they kept for safe keeping.

I stood up making a box fall from the top self that gave off a loud sound that I knew had to wake everyone up.

_If I'm going to do this, I have to do it quick._

I put the metal to my head before I put my finger on the trigger slowly.

_The hell needs you Caterina Read? No one._

"Cat." I heard Shiloh say as she and Stallone walked into the hallway most likely to check out the loud noise that I caused. But I didn't care. They don't need me either.

I closed my eyes tight as I put my finger on the trigger.

_No one needs me._

"Cat don't!"

* * *

**Haha! got you guys' blood pumping/edge of your seat right? **

**What's going to happen? (No one knows)**

**Thanks for reading. Please do review!**


	19. It's Just Too Much

_It's Just Too Much_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

"Cat don't!" I heard Stallone scream and in the quick second something came to me.

An idea.

"Mommy." I said in intimidation of Sunshine.

Cat's breath got caught in her throat as she opened her eyes and stared directly at me with her finger still on the trigger.

"What are you doing mommy? I love you. Why are you doing this?" I said scaring myself as to how much I really do sound like her daughter but maybe me doing this will bring some sense back to her.

I watched as tears formed into her eyes before Tori and Jade busted out of their room.

"What the hell is….Cat." Jade yelled but stopped when she noticed the situation.

Cat hadn't taken her eyes off of me.

"Sunshine?" She asked even though she can clearly see that I'm not Sunshine. Cat really has lost her mind.

I nodded. _What if I'm making things worse?_

I turned my eyes to Jade. Who grabbed onto Tori's hand and eyed Cat as if she was thinking of what to do. I was scared out of my mind.

"Sunshine I'm sorry." She said as tears started to flow.

I watched as Jade let go of Tori's hand and started to creep up behind Cat but I guess Cat could feel the presence behind her because she turned around with the gun pointed directly at Jade who stopped in her tracks.

"Cat. Put the gun down." Jade said firmly.

"No!" She screamed before she turned around and ran to me knocking Stallone out of her way in the process. She grabbed me tight from behind as she still pointed the gun towards where my family now stood in front of us.

"Stay away from us!" She yelled.

"Cat." Tori said softly.

"You have 3 seconds to let my daughter go." Jade said as she took a small step closer.

"Stay away from us!" She yelled again as she shot the gun up in the air which made Jade jump back in surprise.

It scared me so much to hear the gun go off so close to me. Hot tears started to roll down my eyes.

_I can't believe this is happening right now. Has Cat lost her mind? Of course she lost her mind! Someone…Jade please help me!_

"Tori, Stallone go in the other room call the police." Jade said out loud as she stood with her fist balled and her eyes burning through Cat who didn't seemed phased at all.

I watched as they slowly backed away and into Jade's room.

Cat held me tighter and cried as she told me she loved me. She kissed me over and over and there's just no way she really thinks I'm Sunshine.

As Cat wasn't paying attention I watched as Jade slowly inched closer and closer to where Cat and I now sat since she slowly brought me to the floor with her. The floor made a small creaking sound and Cat instantly put the gun back up to Jade before she brought it back down to my head.

My heart stopped_. _

_I'm going to die. _

"Take another step Jade!" She screamed as she pushed the metal to my head.

Jade immediately froze as I heard a gasp come from her. She looked as if she was about to have a heart attack as she looked at me and then back to Cat.

"Cat. Stop. Please." She said as her voice shook.

"Please what Jade!?" Cat screamed as her voice cracked with her cries. "It's not fucking fair! You don't understand Jade! It hurts so bad! You guys just don't care! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! How many times do I have to say it for you to believe I didn't mean what I did but you guys still treat me like crap! I know I can't fix it, but please just forgive me! I made a mistake and I'm sorry! Please!"

Jade nodded as tears fell from her face, but I knew those tears weren't for sympathy for Cat, but fear for her daughter as she still held this gun to my head.

"I forgive you Cat…please-" Jade whispered before Cat cut her off.

"-Please what! Let your precious daughter go!? Do you know what it feels like to lose a daughter Jade!?"

She shook her head as she whispered Cat's name. Tears feel from her eyes as she took a tiny step closer in which Cat put her finger on the trigger.

"I told you stay back!"

This time Jade stepped back as she broke down. "Cat please! Please. I forgive you! I promise I do! We love you! We are sorry for anything we've done. Please forgive us."

"Turntable much? How does it feel to be on the other end for once? To have to say you are sorry over and over and beg for forgiveness!? What if I don't give it to you! It hurts doesn't it!?" She said as she mashed the gun into my head so hard it hurt.

I wanted to reach up and grab the gun from her. I know I can do it, but…but what if I can't? There's a 100 percent chance if I make any sudden moves she will pull that trigger whether it's accidental or purposely. I shouldn't take any chances.

My body is shaking all over. My tears are so hot they are burning my face. I've been in some scary situations but never in my life have I been this scared. I feel like my heart is going to bust from my chest at any moment.

_What is going to happen to me? Somebody please save me._

"Cat I'll do anything. Just please let her go. Please! If you feel like shooting somebody shoot me! Kill me!"

"Nooo." I spoke for the first time as my voice cracked into sobs.

Jade turned to me. "I love you Shiloh." She said in the most hurt/scared voice I've ever heard.

"Cat. I love you." I said trying to say something to her to calm her down. To say anything that will make her drop this gun.

I felt her arms that already held me tight hold me even tighter. "Do you really?"

"Yes Cat. I really really do. Do you love me?"

Cat nodded as tears fell from her face and onto me.

"Then why do you have a gun to me Cat? I thought you loved me?" I said as I saw Stallone and Tori walk slowly back out of Jade's room.

She instantly took the gun away from my head and before she had a chance to do anything with it Jade came charging at her.

Cat let go of her grip around me and I took no time crawling away. I turned around to see Jade trying to get the gun away from Cat who still held tightly onto it. They both struggled to get the gun as it waved around in the air.

I couldn't move. I was too scared to move. I was frozen as I watched the scene before me.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears even though all sounds where still coming through.

**POW!**

I instantly put my knees up and buried my face into them as I heard Jade scream.

I heard cries of everyone. Cat, Jade, Tori and Stallone, but I was too scared to move. Too scared to look up and see what damage has been done. Somebody has gotten shot I know it.

"I need an ambulance please!" I heard the voice of my sister as she apparently called 911.

I heard what sounded like the door downstairs being busted open before I heard foot steps running up the stairs.

"We need an ambulance up here." I heard an unknown voice which sounded to be spoken into in a walkie talkie.

"Baby I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" I heard cries but I couldn't make out the person the cry belonged to.

I then felt a hand touch my back but I was too scared to move. I was literally frozen.

"Are you alright?" I heard a soothing voice of a woman, but not a voice that's familiar.

I still didn't move. I kept my ears covered and my eyes still closed as I felt the soft hand rub my back. "It's okay you're safe now."

I heard the sirens of the ambulance right outside my house and everything is just too much.

It started to get hard to breath and I felt like I had to struggle for air.

"Hey it's okay. Take deep breaths. What's your name?"

"…Sh..Shiloh."

"Come on let's get out of here okay."

She grabbed my and forced me into a standing position. That's when I was brave enough to open my eyes.

The first sight I see is paramedics running up the stairs before my glance turns to Cat.

I saw her as she sat on the floor in the same position I was just in as she cried her eyes out. My glance then turned to were Jade and Stallone sat on their knees crying over Tori who laid almost motionless on her back as her chest heaved up and down as she cried in a painful manner.

The policewoman quickly turned my head from the scene before she pushed me into the first room which happened to be the room Sunshine stayed in while she was here before she turned on a light and closed the door.

It got even harder to breathe as it felt like all the air in the room was being sucked away. My lungs started to ache and my body started to shake.

"Shiloh, calm down okay. Take a deep breath. Everything will be okay." The policewoman said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Deep breaths baby. Think of a place that you really love. Just close your eyes and breathe."

I did as I was told and shortly after my breath had gotten back to almost normal but my body continued to shake.

"Shiloh I'm going to take you with me down to the police station okay."

I nodded.

I didn't know what else to do but nod. That's all my mind allowed me to do because I was definitely at a loss for words.

* * *

**[Jade's & Beck's Phone Convo]**

Jade: "Beck!"

Beck: "Jade do you know what time it is? What happened? Let me guess? Cat ran off?"

Jade: "Beck no."

Beck: "Jade? Why are you crying? What's wrong? What happened?"

Jade: "Tori..she Cat..she had a gun and she-"

Beck: "-Jade slow down, I can't understand you. Take a breath. What's going on?"

Jade: "I….I shot Tori."

Beck: "….wait what?"

Jade: "C..Cat had a gun and she…she had it to Shiloh and Beck, I tried to get it from her…and…and when I did I accidently pulled the trigger Beck! I swear didn't mean to!"

Beck: "Oh my god. Are you serious right now?"

Jade: "No Beck! It's a fucking joke! Yes I'm fucking to hell serious!"

Beck: "Is Tori okay?"

Jade: "I don't know! I don't know! They took her away and they wouldn't even let me get in the fucking ambulance with her!"

Beck: "Who are you with!? What the hell was Cat doing with a gun!?"

Jade: "Just come to the hospital! Now please! Call Trina and tell her about her sister please I can't! Call Andre! I have to go."

Beck: "Okay, okay. I'll meet you there."

* * *

_**Just so much going on...**_

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	20. Deadman

**You guys have been so great with all the reviews and I just have to give another shout out! So thank you so much too…**

_**Newsies73, Jay-time, Jeremy Shane, cbam101, Twistedminds-collide, James MmiseryLovesSlash, , Lissaaa23, binx193,****AnaaintinChina** , Disastertology, Bunnies-Take-Over-The-Universe, Azkadellio, JadeLove, MidnightEvanescence, Lollylucyx13, Sunshine, JessyRae, AnimeLuv21, Liv909, MasterDraco, pyromanic7677, Ireadalot, melymely, Melody, popsicle, PreviouslyUnknown, donttouchmommy, Shi13, str-mape, God, Death, Justasilentreader, cherrprn4, ec4lewis, WolvenNight, and all the Guest & Silent Readers for reading!_

**You guys are all awesome! I really do appreciate all the reviews. I don't know what I'd do without you guys!**

* * *

Chapter 20

_Deadman _

**[Shiloh's POV]**

"Can you tell me what happened tonight?"

An unknown officer asked me as I sat in a chair in what looked like a waiting room at the police station.

I kept my head down and stayed silent. I just want to disappear.

"Shiloh it's okay. You won't be in trouble."

"I just want my mom." I whispered as if I were 5 years old, but I don't care how I sound, it's true. I just want my mom. Who are they to bring me here without her permission anyways? They just put me in their car and told Jade they will bring me by the hospital soon, and she didn't even care. Well most likely because she wasn't paying any attention. She just kept screaming for Tori.

Oh Tori.

I hope she's okay! What if she's not!? What is she dies!

I put my hands to my face and started to sob.

_I'm just so scared and these people aren't helping._

"Shiloh it's okay."

"I want my mom! Please let me go! Take me to her!"

The officer sighed. "Can you just give a brief description on what happened in your home."

"No! Please! Leave me alone!" I closed my eyes and covered my ears as I put my head down.

"Shiloh-"

"No!"

"Shi-"

"No! No! No! I want my mom! Please take me to her! Leave me alone! Please!"

I heard the officer give a huge sigh before I felt a hand on my back.

"Alright let's go."

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

I bit my nails as I paced back and forth in the small waiting room of the hospital which I just about damn near call home. My whole body is shaking. I can't think straight. I don't know what the hell even just happened?

"Jade, why don't you sit down?" Beck said as he stood up offered out a hand.

"I'm not going to sit down!"

"Just calm-"

"-I'm not going to calm down either!"

He sighed as he sat back down next to his daughter.

_Tori, Tori, Tori. I just can't…I can't stop thinking about her. What the hell is taking them so long to come in here!? Where are the fucking doctors!? She's okay. I mean I know she's okay…but..what if…what if she's not? What is she…oh my god! Tori!_

I banged my head against the hard wall as tears streamed down my face.

"Jade. Don't do that." Andre said as he stood up and pulled me from the wall. He tried to wrap his arms around me but I wouldn't let him.

_Fuck comfort I don't need that. I just need my wife!_

I heard the door swing open before I almost caught whiplash to see who entered.

I watched as Shiloh walked in with a policewoman behind her before the policewoman waved and closed the door behind her.

"Shiloh." I said as my voice cracked. I didn't even walk over to her I just slid down the closes wall as I opened my arms.

She walked slowly over to me before she sat down in my lap. I wrapped my arms around her tight as I rocked her back and forth as if she were a baby.

"I love you so much Shiloh." I said as I gave her a small kiss on her head but she didn't speak back. She didn't blink, she didn't talk, she almost seemed as if she weren't even breathing. She was so out of it; just in a daze. Her eyes were open but her face remained emotionless. She had nothing but a blank stare.

"Why!? Why does my daughter have to go through the shit that she does? What on earth has my baby girl done!? Someone tell me!" I thought out loud as I wiped my eyes.

_I can't believe…I can't fucking believe Cat! Who the hell does she think she is to put a gun a GUN to my child's head! Ugh! Wait until I see her! Ohh Cat you just wait!_

"Are you okay Shiloh?" Roxy asked as she leaned down in her chair to touch Shiloh's arm.

Still Shiloh gave no response.

I wrapped my arms around her tighter. "I'm so sorry Shiloh. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have let her stay. Tori was right. She was so right. I didn't know she would…she would do something like this." I looked down a Shiloh who still seemed to be in wonderland. Her eyes were so crystal blue I could almost see through them and her body was just completely limp in my arms.

The door swung open hard as it hit the wall behind it.

"Where is she!? Is she okay!?" Trina asked as she stood in the doorway with Bailey standing behind.

"We are waiting for the doctor to come Trina. Please stop screaming." Beck said calmly.

"What the hell happened?" She asked as she finally walked in letting the door close behind her and Bailey.

"She was shot."

"I heard of this! How!? Who shot her!?"

"Cat. It's her fault." Stallone said with rage.

"Cat? Who gave that crack head a gun!?"

"Trina shut the hell up and sit the fuck down! It's not time to play 20 questions! Everybody is wondering the same shit! Just shut up!" Roxy blurted out of nowhere which made the whole room become quiet as Trina obeyed.

Bailey walked over to where Shiloh and I sat on the floor since there were no more seats available.

"Is she okay?" Bailey asked as she reached over and touched Shiloh gently.

"It's been a rough night. She's just a little frightened."

"What happened to her?" Bailey asked as she ran her hand through Shiloh's hair.

I just shook my head in which she nodded in understanding that I didn't want to talk about any of it.

She got to her knees and wrapped her arms around both I and Shiloh before she gave me a kiss on my cheek. "I know everything will be okay." She whispered.

I reached over and cupped her face as I gave it a small rub with my thumb. "Thank you Bailey."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her to my side before I wrapped my arm around her and let her snuggle into my side.

Bailey is so much like Tori. She's the sweetest girl anyone would ever meet. It's just crazy to know Trina is her mother.

The door opened once again and this time it was the doctor. I wanted to jump up but with Shiloh sitting in my lap it was almost impossible unless I knocked her on the floor.

"Victoria's family?"

"Yes! Is she okay!?"

The doctor smiled as she nodded. "Victoria is just fine. Very lucky one."

Everyone let out a huge sigh of relief.

"She's in recovery right now sleeping. We had to remove the bullet. It was so close to her lung we couldn't believe the x-rays. That would have been a problem, but she's fine. Lucky I have to say again."

"Can we see her?" Stallone asked as she dried the tears from her face.

"Of course, but let's keep the visitors to around 3 at a time. We don't want to overwhelm her or anything."

I nodded.

"She's in room 8077 on the 7th floor when you guys are ready. Doctor Michaels should be in her room shortly." With that the doctor left.

I sat back again and gave another sigh of relief before I looked down at Shiloh who had fallen asleep in my arms.

"Shiloh." I said as I started to give her a small shake.

"Don't." Beck said as he walked over and knelt down. "She's been through a lot tonight by the sounds of it. Let her sleep." He reached down and scooped Shiloh into his arms before he stood up.

"You and Stallone go see Tori. We'll stay here."

I nodded as I stood up before giving Shiloh a kiss on her head once more.

I watched as Beck held her tight as he sat down on the floor in the same spot I just stood up from as he let Shiloh snuggle into him.

I sighed again as I grabbed Stallone's hand in mine tight pulling her up before walking out into the hallway and up to her room.

We finally made it to the room which read _West, Victoria Marie_ on the outside. The door was cracked and the lights inside were dim.

I squeezed Stallone's hand as we walked in the room.

Tori laid on her back with as her arms laid down my her sides. She was hooked to a breathing machine as some other mess was hooked to her finger that led to another machine.

Her face was very peaceful. She didn't look as if she were in any pain and I hope to God she's not.

I reached my hand up and ran it softly through her hair. "Tori, baby." I said gently but still loud enough to try and wake her.

She moved her head a bit before she slowly opened her eyes. Her face expression quickly changed from peaceful to a look of pain.

"Ma' are you okay?" Stallone asked as she grabbed her hand and kissed.

Tori groaned a bit. "It hurts." She said in a low voice.

I pulled back her covers a bit and lifted her gown to see where the damage was done. There was a huge patch just right below her rib that was only held down by two small pieces of tape.

I pulled one end of the tape to lift up the patch to see stitches on where I'm guessing they opened her up more to find the bullet.

I let out a shaky sigh before I covered her back up.

"Stallone find a doctor and tell them to give her more pain meds."

Stallone nodded before she kissed Tori's hand one more time before she was out of the door.

"Baby I'm so sorry." I said as I rubbed her face.

She nodded "It's not your fault." She asked weakly. "Where's Shiloh? Is she…is she okay?"

I nodded. "Physically yes, baby she's fine. She fell asleep. She's with Beck."

"What about Cat?"

I shrugged. I really had no idea where the son of a bitch was and to tell you the truth I hope she did run off and kill herself because if she didn't she sure as hell will be dead by time I'm done with her!

Tori gave a small sigh. "I love you Jade."

A tear fell from my eye and fell onto her face. "I love you too Tori. I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's not your fault. I'm okay."

I leaned down and gave her a kiss on her face.

_Cat is a dead man!_

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Review! ;)**


	21. We'll See What We Can Do

**Sorry that it took two days to update. I've been really busy lately and tomorrow I'm going out of town and I'm not taking my computer with me. So it will be a few days before I update again. :(**

* * *

Chapter 21

_We'll See What We Can Do_

**[Beck's POV]**

The door to the waiting room opened as Stallone walked back in and took a seat without acknowledging anyone here.

"Uhhh how is she!?" Trina asked impatiently.

"Oh yeah. She's fine; a little weak, but she's fine. You guys can go see her. Whoever wants to go. I have to go soon." She said as she was all into her phone.

I looked down at Shiloh who was still fast asleep in my arms and figured I didn't want to wake her.

"I'm going!" Trina said as she hoped up and sped out of the door just to return seconds later. "Hey where's the room again?"

Stallone rolled her eyes before she told her how to get to Tori's room before she disappeared once again.

"Is Tori okay?" I heard Shiloh say in a quiet voice before my glanced turn to her.

_I could have sworn she was fast asleep._

"Yeah Shiloh, she's fine."

"Can I see her?" She asked as she sat up but still stayed in my lap.

I nodded as I rubbed her back. "Of course you can."

She nodded as she gently slid off of me and pushed herself to her feet. "Please come with me."

"I'll go with you." Roxy said as she stood up but Shiloh quickly took a step back as if she were offended that she even offered to go.

"No." She said rather quickly. "I want Beck to come." She turned around to me.

_Odd._

I nodded as I stood up. "Okay, that's fine. I'll come."

Stallone gave her an odd look as she waked by her.

"She said only 3 in her room. Isn't Jade still here and Trina just went." Bailey asked concerned.

I waved it off. "It'll be fine."

I opened the door and held it as Shiloh walked out of the room with me following behind.

Once we were out of the door she reached out her hand wanting me to grab ahold to it which I took in mine softly. Her hand was shaking softly in mine as she walked with her head down.

"Are you scared Shiloh?" I asked as we reached the evaluator.

She didn't say anything or give any motions to answer my question. She just kept her head down.

"It's fine if you are. Everyone gets scared sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not exactly positive on what happened tonight, but you can cry or vent or do what you want. I'm here right now for you. You don't have to be strong for me."

The only response I got from her is a squeeze to my hand that didn't last long at all.

I feel so bad for Shiloh. I mean, she's been through a lot and I can see she's still trying to make it. She's not giving up. And that's something I really admire about her. She's a very strong young lady and I know she gets that from her mother, but she seems even stronger than Jade is/used to be.

We finally made it to Tori's room as I pushed opened the cracked door. Trina stood over her sister yapping away about how hospital rooms should have name brand pillows and blankets as Tori rolled her eyes and Jade sat clenching the bridge of her nose.

"Knock knock." I said to get everyone's attention.

"Tori I'll be right back." Trina said as she walked out of the room not even taking a glance my way as she walked out.

Tori looked over at us and smiled. She was sitting up with the support of the bed as a breathing machine was hooked to her nose.

Shiloh stopped walking when we were about 10 feet from the bed and let go of my hand as she put her head back down.

"Shiloh baby come here." Tori said as she put her arms out.

Shiloh shook her head and took a step back.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I put my hand on her back.

She shook her head again.

"Shiloh come here." Jade stated firmly.

Again she shook her head. "I'm sorry Tori."

"Baby it's not your fault and I'm fine. Come here please. I've been so worried about you."

She walked over to Tori slowly as Jade moved her chair out of the way so she could get to her.

Tori reached out her arm and literally pulled Shiloh closer to her. "Are you okay?" Tori asked Shiloh with sad eyes.

Shiloh shook her head. "No." She stated truthfully.

Tori pulled her into a hug as she stoked her hair. "We'll see what we can do Shiloh." Tori stated as she let go of the small grip she had on her. She gave her a kiss on her forehead before she sat back and sighed.

Jade reached over and pulled Shiloh into her lap before she cradled her.

"So how are you feeling Tori?" I asked as I took a seat at the edge of her bed.

She shrugged. "I feel okay. They drugged me, so I don't really feel any soreness."

I patted her legs. "Sorry this happened to you."

She looked down. "Cat…she's just…lost it."

"Where is she?"

She shrugged.

"She better be on her way to hell." Jade stated.

"Jade."

"_Beck."_ She mocked.

"Where did she get you?"

Tori lifted up her gown to reveal a big white patch that was just below her ribcage.

"Ouch. I'm really sorry."

She pulled her gown back down. "I am too, but I know Cat didn't mean to do what she did tonight. She's just…delusional. But I do hate her right now don't get me wrong." She said as she pointed a finger.

I gave a side smile. "I understand."

I patted Tori's legs once again before I stood up. "Well I should get going. It's already late."

"Beck." Jade asked as she looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to stay here with Tori. Can Shiloh stay with you for the night?"

"Of course she can."

Jade let go of Shiloh so that she could stand to her feet. "Shiloh go wait in the hall." Jade said as she gave her a small push.

She obeyed as she started to slowly walk out.

Jade walked closer to me as she talked in a low voice. "I don't want to ask you for too much, but please keep an eye on her tonight. She's not…herself and she's going through so much and I just…I don't know what's going on in her mind and I just don't want her to do anything stupid like trying to hurt herself or anything. Just please keep an eye on her for me."

I put my hand on Jade's shoulder. "I will, don't worry." I gave her a kiss on her cheek before I walked over to Tori and did the same.

"Goodnight you guys. I hope you feel better soon Tori."

"Thank you Beck."

I nodded before I walked out of the room to Shiloh.

* * *

"Are you hungry?" I asked Shiloh as we made our way home.

She shook her head. "I'm just tired."

"You can sleep in my room." Roxy offered as she turned in her seat to face Shiloh who sat in the back.

"Not tonight Roxy." I said as she turned onto our street.

"What? Why no-"

"-Not tonight Roxy." I stated more firmly in which she gave an aggravated sigh. She knows when I say no that I mean _no._ No extra words about it.

We finally pulled up to the house before Roxy hoped out as well as Shiloh.

Roxy whispered some things in Shiloh's ear that I couldn't quite make out before we made it to the door.

I glance at the time which read 5:08am before I closed and locked the door behind us.

Roxy continued to whisper to Shiloh which was actually starting to irritate me. "Roxy time for bed." I stated as I put my keys in the bowl.

I was glad Mike and Kulado were staying with Mike's friend for the night so I didn't have to deal with getting them to bed because man, getting Kulado to bed is a process.

"So if she can't sleep with me then where is she going to sleep?" Roxy asked as she reached her room.

"She going to sleep in my room."

Roxy squinted her eyes and titled her head. "Why?"

"Hey. What did I tell you about asking me why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She stated before she closed her door.

"Hey lose the attitude!" I yelled through her door.

"Hey, what was Roxy whispering to you?" I asked as Shiloh followed closely behind me to my room.

She shrugged.

We finally reached my room. "There, you'll sleep on the bed."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Over here on the futon." I pointed.

She sighed as she walked over to the bed and literally dropped herself onto it. She was already dressed in her pj's so I didn't have to worry about her being uncomfortable.

"Here get under the covers." I said trying to pull them back as she laid on top of them. She sighed as she rolled off of the bed then back onto it after I pulled the covers back.

I put the covers over her and she was out like a light.

I walked over to the futon and pulled it out so it was a flat bed before I crawled into it myself. I grabbed my phone from my pocket before I flicked the light switch making the room pitch black due to my great black curtains.

**New Text Message**

_**Sender: Jade**_

Jade: How is Shiloh?

Me: Haha we just got in. She's fine. She fast asleep.

Jade: Where is she sleeping?

Me: She's in my bed.

Jade: Are you in it with her?

Me: No. I'm on the futon.

Jade: Oh okay.

Me: How's Tori?

Jade: She's okay. Everyone came to see her, she's falling asleep now though.

Me: Jade, what exactly happened tonight?

Jade: Long Story.

Me: Long story short?

Jade: Tori woke me up saying she heard a loud noise and she was so concerned so we went to go check it out. We go in the hall to see Cat with our safety gun to her head. Fast-forward she ends up having the gun to Shiloh's head. Like this mother fucker had the nerve, and she even went as far as putting her got damn finger on the trigger. She end up not paying attention so I took the chance to grab the gun from her and we were fighting with it, once I end up grabbed it I accidently pulled the trigger and unlucky Tori happened to be standing in just the right spot. Beck…I almost died. I almost lost my daughter and my wife in the same night.

Me: What the hell is going on in Cat's head!? Was she serious?

Jade: Putting a gun to my daughter's head and putting her finger on the trigger…I don't think it could be more serious than that.

Me: I'm sorry this happened Jade. Cat…she's going crazy.

Jade: She is crazy. And she's definitely not staying at our house anymore. I want nothing more to do with her.

Me: You think she's still there?

Jade: I don't know, but if she is she better be dead.

Me: Jade stop talking like that.

Jade: Whatever. I'm going to sleep. I'll come get Shiloh in the morning.

Me: You have a strong girl here Jade, she must get it from you.

Jade: She is strong Beck. Very strong, but she doesn't get it from me. She's get's it from Tori. Believe it or not Tori is pretty strong for Tori.

Me: I guess. You know her way more than I do.

Jade: Let's keep it that way.

Me: Night Jade.

Jade: Goodnight Beckett.

Me:….really Jadelyn?

Jade: Ha. Take your ass to sleep.

Me: Goodnight.

Jade: Night.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter isn't so exciting...**

**B****ut thanks for reading. Please Review!**


	22. Traumatized

**Sorry about the wait. I was out of town!**

**Here's Chapter 22! Enjoy ;)**

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Chapter 22

_Traumatized _

**[Evelyn's POV]**

I looked at myself in the mirror of my old house as the music played in the back ground.

No thoughts ran through my mind. All I feel is pain.

Stallone texted me. She said Tori's been hurt that she's in the hospital. Well of course she's hurt. Why wouldn't she be? Why wouldn't the world allow that to happen? I don't even know what happen, I didn't ask. I don't care. She's probably going to die. Since everything is going horrible for me why wouldn't she die? Why wouldn't I have to go through the feeling of losing another mother? Why wouldn't I have to go to another funeral of someone that I love so dear? Just why wouldn't I?

I grabbed a razor that sat on the edge of the sink before I ran my finger over the bade. My finger instantly started to ooze blood before I sucked it away. I then yanked the blade from it's spot before tossing the bladeless razor across the bathroom.

I held out my arm as I took the small blade and started to make a clean cut down my arm. I watched as blood quickly stated to poor from it before I let up and made another cut beside it, then another, then another. I then switched arms as I started to make identical cuts to my other arm as I watched the blood pour from it as well.

I gently put the blade down as blood ran down my arms and onto the sink and floor. I grabbed the handle of a small drawer opening it to retrieve a pair of scissors before closing it back gently.

I reached my bloodly arm up and pulled out my hair tie letting my hair fall onto my shoulders. I grabbed the end before I took the scissors and chopped it off. I then grabbed more hair and repeated and even more hair and repeated again, and again.

I finally put the scissors down that were now blood drenched as my hair lay all over the sink and the floor.

I looked at myself in the mirror as the girl who stared back looked nothing like me. She isn't me. I died with my family. I'm lost and I don't think I'll ever be found again.

* * *

**[Stallone's POV]**

Do you know that feeling when you know something just isn't right, or you know something bad is about to happen? I have those feelings a lot, I just always tend to ignore them, but right now I can't. I'm sitting here in my car in the parking lot of the hospital and…something…something's just not right.

I pick up my phone and quickly dial Jade's number.

**RING, RING, RING-**

"Yeah?" Jade answered.

"Hey..ah…is Tori alright?"

She chuckled. "I mean in the 15 mins that you just left this room and she was doing fine, I'm pretty sure she's still doing fine now."

"Are you there with her?"

"Mhm."

"Who's that?" I heard Tori asked in the background.

_Alright…well she's fine._

"Stallone." Jade answered Tori.

"Oh okay, just checking." I said to her.

"Awww well aren't you a sweety cup cake pie." Jade mocked.

"Shut up." I stated as I hung up.

I sat back and thought again for a moment.

**RING, RING,-**

"What?" Jade answered sounded aggravated this time.

"Is Shiloh okay? She's in there right?"

"Dude are you okay is the question?"

"Yeah, I'm just…checking."

"Yes, Shiloh's here she's fine. Tori's fine, I'm fine thanks for asking, and Trina's…Trina."

"What about everyone else?"

"Stallone everyone is fine. Why do you keep asking?"

"Just making sure."

It was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "I know tonight may have scared you a bit. But everyone's okay. Are you headed home?"

"No I'm going back to my dorm."

"Well alright. Be safe. Love you."

"I love you too Jade." I stated before I hung up.

_Okay well maybe everyone is okay. _

I put my seatbelt on as I started my car up but no…everything isn't alright.

I shook my head as I just scanned through my phone. My eyes got wide at her name.

Evelyn.

Where the hell is she!? I told her about Tori. She didn't show up. She didn't even text back. That's not like her.

**RING, RING, RING, RING, RING, RING**

"Hello, you've reached-"

**CLICK**

**REDIAL**

**RING, RING, RING**

I heard the phone being answered but no one spoke.

"Evelyn?"

"Hm?" She said in a very low voice.

"Baby are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm not your baby." She stated rather quickly still in her low voice.

I have to admit her words hurt, but I'm not worried about that right now. "Are you alright? Where are you?"

"Do you think I'm alright!?" She busted in a scream which almost made me drop my phone.

"Evelyn…where are you?"

"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Her voice became low and calm again.

"Please tell me where you are?"

"Where a family used to be."

I sighed, "Where is that Ev?"

With that the line ended.

I sat back in my seat again as I thought.

_Duh. I know exactly where she is._

* * *

I easily walked into the front door of the abandoned house and why these lights were still on was a mystery.

"Evelyn!" I called out but got no answer.

I ran up the stairs and started for her room but the open door of the bathroom caught my glance.

I dropped my keys as my heart dropped at the sight of her bathroom. There was blood all over the sink and floor with hair scattered everywhere.

_She killed herself._

That's the only thoughts that ran through my mind as my heart started to beat out of control. I ran fast down to her room before I busted open her door.

"Evelyn!" I called out before I caught a slight movement to the left of me in the dark.

I ran over to the light switch and turned it on to see Evelyn with her arms wrapped around her knees that were up to her chest as her head laid face down on top to her knees.

Her arms were all bloody as her hair looked as if she was literally in a fight with a lawn mower.

"Evelyn!" I yelled again as I walked over to her and got on my knees. I scanned her arms without touching them before I hoped up again and ran back to the bathroom to get a towel. I wetted it before running back to her room and sitting down in front of her again.

I took the wet towel and gently started to wipe away the blood as it started to reveal several cuts all over both her arms.

I put my head down for a minute just to gather myself.

My Evelyn. This is my Evelyn. I always promised to keep her safe, I promised to always be by her side. Why did I let her do this? I shouldn't even have let her get to this point. I could have stopped her. I still should have been by her side no matter what she told me, but I wasn't. I know she felt so alone.

_Ugh Stallone you are so stupid!_

I reached over and pulled her legs down as I wrapped my arms around her pulling her close to me. She was limp at first but finally gave into the hug and wrapped her dried bloody arms back around me. Her body shook against mine as her chin rested on my shoulder.

"I love you Evelyn. I love you."

She let out a noise that I couldn't give an explanation to, to save my life before she let out a loud cry.

"Wh…what happened Stallone? They..'re all..gone!" She said through her cries as she held me tight.

"Baby…I love you. I'm here. I love you."

She pulled out of the hug. "It's like a…a nightmare That..that I can't wake up..up from! I… I didn't mean to hurt..hurt her. I didn't…want to. I do…I do still love her..I do Stallone. She just hurt me…so..b..bad! I had to get..get her back! I'm sorry. Please..please tell her to come home! She's all that I have! I need…I need my mom Stallone! I need her! And…Tori! Is….is…is she…she….dead?"

My eyes got wide as I grabbed her face in my hands. "No Evelyn. Tori's fine okay, she just had a little incent, but she's fine. Don't you worry about her."

She swallowed hard as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Why did you do this EV?" I asked as I picked her arm up to her face.

She started to cry more as she shook her head.

I couldn't hold in the small tear that escaped my eye. "Why don't you…get helo Evelyn? Talk to someone. A psychiatrist?"

She pushed me hard making me fall back and hit my head on the edge of her bed. "Are you calling me psycho!?"

I was shocked at her sudden outburst and couldn't even find a quick enough answer before she took a fist and punched me in my face. She then sat ontop of me as she gave smack after smack punch after punch all over my face and chest.

"Evelyn stop! Stop!"

But she didn't stop. She screamed as she hit me even harder and I didn't want to have to hurt her but it's going to happen if she doesn't calm down.

"Evelyn! Calm down!"

"You did this! You piece of shit and you call yourself a father!" She said as she kept on with the punches.

_She's thinking of her father!_

I reached up and grabbed both of her arms giving them both hard twist as I threw her off of me.

She sat up before she looked at me with really sad eyes. "Why would you hurt me Stallone?"

I opened my mouth but no words came out. She stated that as if I hurt her for no reason whatsoever.

"I'm sorry, but you wouldn't stop. I didn't hurt you intentionally. I know you were just trying to let some anger out, but I'm a living person. I can feel that stuff okay?"

"I hate you Stallone! Get out of my house!"

"Evelyn I was-"

"GET OUT!" She yelled as she stood up and kicked me.

I was so tempted to grab her foot and make her fall hard, but I'm not going to do that.

I slowly stood up as I nodded my head.

I walked down the stairs and opened the front door then slammed it again making sound as if I really left and it was a good thing she wasn't watching.

I'm not leaving her. I can leave her. I'm not going to let her do something stupid. She's getting help whether she likes it or not because she needs it.

_Actually we all need a little help…_

* * *

**[Shiloh's Nightmare]**

"_Shiloh help me! Please!" Sunshine yelled as Johnson held her down with a gun to her head._

"_Shut the fuck up." He said as I watched him shove his manhood into Sunshine, but I felt the pain. I stood far away from the scene as if I were watching it on a T.V. and even with it being so far away I felt every inch of pain as he pushed himself all the way into her hard pulling out, and repeating._

_Sunshine screamed and screamed before he smacked her in the face._

_All of a sudden Jade held a gun pointing to me. She gave an evil smile as Johnson and Sunshine smiled as well before Stallone scooped me into her arms and started to run. _

"_We have to go far away!" She yelled as we hopped over tomb stones. But when I saw her face it was Beck. _

_He let me go as I fell into an empty grave next to Sunshine's. _

"_Rest in Peace Love." He said to me as he started shoveling the dirt into the whole with me in it. I started to choke and gag on the dirt but when I opened my eyes I saw Cat with the gun at our house. Except this time the gun was fake. It was a water gun and she dropped it._

_POW!_

_Cat's blood few everywhere as she fell to the floor and when I glanced back up it was Evelyn who just shot her mother as she gave me the most evil look in the world._

"_Evelyn don't!"_

_She smiled before she pulled the trigger._

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

I woke up to Shiloh screaming at the top of her lungs. I hurried to her and turn on the lamp to see that she was drenched with sweat as she kicked and screamed.

"Shiloh! Shiloh wake up Love!"

Her eyes flew open as her breathing went out of control.

"Shiloh it was just a dream. It's okay. You're safe, it's okay." I said as I rubbed her forehead softly

She looked over at me as her breathing started to calm and she started to cry. I sat down on the bed before I pulled her up and wrapped my arms around her tight.

"It's okay Shi. You're alright. I'm sorry." I said as I rubbed her back and hugged her.

She finally calmed down enough for me to let her go. "You alright now?"

She sniffed as she nodded her head.

I kissed her on her forehead. "Aright Love, close your eyes and say the alphabet backwards. It's always the cure after a bad dream."

She nodded again as I gave a small smiled and patted her on the back before standing up and walking back to the futon.

"Beck." She said in a low voice.

I turned around to her and lifted a brow.

"Can you please sleep beside me?"

I scratched the back of my head. I'm not sure how Jade and Tori would feel about me sleeping in the same bed as their daughter.

"Please?" She begged as I stayed silent for a moment.

I nodded. "Just until you fall asleep okay?"

She nodded as I climbed onto the king sized bed and laid down beside her. She took no time curling onto me as she wrapped her arm around my stomach and laid her head on my chest like I was her big teddy bear. I let my arm come down around her and rest on her side as I held her tight.

As sweet and innocent as this girl is, I hate the fact that she is traumatized. I really hope Jade and Tori get her the help they said they were.

_Because she do desperately needs it…_

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**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	23. Exaggerating Much?

Chapter 23

_Exaggerating Much? _

**[Jade's POV]**

_6 Days Later_

I laid in the bed beside Shiloh as I ran my fingers softly through her hair as she laid with her eyes closed.

"How's school going?"

She gave a small shrug as her eyes remained closed.

"Anything new? Trina still acting like a bitch?" I chuckled, but she still gave no response.

"Your birthday is tomorrow." I stated quietly as I smiled down at her.

She kept her eyes closed as she let out a small sigh as if that were a bad thing.

Ever since the incident last week Shiloh has failed to communicate as much as she used to with us. She stays in her room when she's out of school and just listens to music or read books. For the past two days Shiloh has been visiting Ms. Emily, a counselor who works at the center for trouble teens and teens facing life crisis. She hasn't shown much improvement but then again it's only been two days with the first session being no longer than 15 minutes. Her sessions with Emily are scheduled 45 minutes and it's pretty costly, so she better get something out of this.

"What would you like for your birthday?" I asked as I still entangled my fingers with her hair.

She shrugged.

"C'mon baby I know there's something that you would like. Please talk to me."

She finally opened her eyes and stared up at me before she shook her head. "There's nothing." She whispered before she closed her eyes again.

I gave a small sigh before I kissed her softly on the side of her head. "Goodnight baby. I'll see you in the morning." I said before I stood up and walked over to her door.

I turned around just in time to see her turn over and grab on Sunshine's pink Ke'Mo bear to hold it tight against her before I flicked off the lights and closed her door softly.

I walked down the hall and into our room closing the door behind me. I walked over to our bed and turned on the T.V. before I started flipping through the channels and like always nothing good is on.

_What happened to all the horror movies these days? They've all vanished!_

I stopped on some disgusting Cuddle Me Kathy show. Seems it would be to my wife's liking.

"Oh the Cuddle Me Kathy!" She said as she walked out of the bathroom as she dried her hair off from taking a shower.

_The show thing was just a joke!_

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey how is Shiloh doing?"

"She's on her way to sleep. I brought up her birthday, and that didn't even seem to change her mood."

Tori frowned. "I wish…I wish I could take her place you know? I can't even imagine what she's feeling right now."

I shook my head. "I don't think anyone can."

"You think Cat will come back?"

"Cat better hope she doesn't come back."

Tori sighed.

We haven't seen Cat since that night. By the time we came home she vanished. Neither Beck nor Trina has heard from her and I wouldn't be surprised if she's back out there on crack or whatever the hell she was doing. She just better hope I never run into her. Ever again.

I sighed as well. "Do you think you need more antibiotic ointment?"

She lifted up her shirt as I stood up and walked over to her to get a better look at her wound and I'm not going to lie, it looked disgusting….the good kind of disgusting though.

"I think it's infected." She said as she touched the swollen slimly looking wound.

"Yeah it looks cool." I smiled. I pulled out my phone and took a picture.

"Jade!"

"This is definitely going on Instagram."

"Jade! Stop!" She said as she snatched my phone from me.

"What? Something that hideous would get so many likes."

She rolled her eyes as she put my phone down. "I'm going to go back to the doctor tomorrow and have him look at it." She said with a frown as she poked it again.

"Well stop poking at it babe. That's probably how it got that way in the first place." I walked over to our drawer and pulled out the ointment that supposedly keeps germs out but apparently it hasn't been doing it's job.

"Here sit down." I said as I pushed her onto our bed. I opened up the ointment and put a good amount on my finger before I got to my knees and rubbed it over the wound.

"Oowwww."

"I'm barely touching you big baby."

_It still shouldn't be that sore, c'mon._

I put the cap back onto the ointment before I turned to our drawer again and pulled out the big pad that's supposed to go over it.

"Take your shirt off, it's in the way." I said as I tried to push it up.

She reached down and up again as she pulled her shirt over her head letting her bare chest hang out.

I smirked. "Where's your bra?"

"Have I ever slept in a bra?"

"Actually yes...yes you have." I said as I put the pad down gently over her sore before taping the ends down nicely.

"There, all better." I said as I folded my arms on her legs and looked up at her since I still sat on my knees.

"Doctor West...I think I may have another problem."

_Doctor West? Role play….alright. I'll play her game._

I lifted a brow. "Problem? What are the symptoms?"

"Well…sometimes there's a throbbing and a leakage on the lower part of my body that I can't seem to control."

My smirk got wider. "And when does this happen? All the time? During the day? At night?"

"Usually when I'm with my wife or when I'm thinking of her. I can't seem to make it stop. What is this?"

"Seems to me you have a bad case of SF."

"SF?"

"Sexual Frustration."

"Is there a cure?" She asked as she placed her hands on my arms that are still folded on her legs.

"There is actually and I think I could help you with that." I smiled.

"How?"

I instantly sat up on my knees and latched my lips around her harden nipple as I gave it a hard suck. "Ahhhhh" She moaned as her hands entangled in my hair. I quickly moved over to her left nipple giving it the same hard suck as the last before I started to flicker my tongue over it softly. Her back arched making her nipple fall back into my mouth before I moved up her chest and to her neck. I sucked hard making sure to leave my mark before I made my way to her jaw, then her lips. Our tongues met instantly as they fought for dominance before I pulled away. I stood up and pushed her to her back letting my body fall onto hers before meeting her lips again. I let my hands wander to her back as they slid down slowly down her warm body finally finding her firm ass that I gave a squeeze. She moaned into my mouth before she pulled back. "Dr. West, I don't think my wife would like this." She said as she breathed heavy under me. "Well what your wife doesn't know won't hurt now would it?" I said as I sucked on her neck once more. "Mmmmmm but…but she would mmm kill you." "Oh most definitely." I said as I sat up and stood to the floor again. I grabbed the helm of her shorts before pulling them down roughly. "Wearing no panties isn't going to help your SF miss Victoria." I said as I got back down on my knees. I took a knee in each hand before spreading her legs apart forcefully. "And you definitely have it bad." I said before licking up her thigh. I ran my tongue up her slit as she moaned and bucked up to me and instead of pushing her down like usual, I put my hands under her ass as I held her up to me.

I didn't waste any time digging in. I let my tongue slide right into her wet folds and into the warmness of her. I removed one of my hands from her ass as I rested it on her pelvic as I used my thumb to rub her clit softly as I let my tongue slip far into her. "Uahhhhhhh Fuckkk Jadeeee." "Who's Jade? You're wife?" I asked as I traded places with my finger and my tongue. I let two fingers slide into her before I latched my lips onto her clit giving it hard sucks. "Ohh god you'ree gonna make me cummm." "So soon?" I smiled as I curled my fingers inside her finding her g-spot before I applied more pressure. Her eyes flew open as she sat all the way up and tried to back away. "No you don't." I said as I removed my hand from her to pull her back to me before letting my fingers go back to work. She now had both her arms wrapped around my head while she leaned over me panting. "J…j…jaa…fuckkkk righttt thereeee don't…don't stopppp babee." I added a third finger as I gave her clit harder sucks. Her walls started to tighten around my fingers and at the very peak of her being pushed over the edge I held my fingers completely still. Her panting was so out of control you'd think she was dying from an asthma attack right now. "Ja jaaaa jaaadee ughhh babeee pleaseee." She panted as her walls stayed oh so tight around my fingers. I'm just so surprised she didn't buck to my hand to push herself over. She's actually waiting for me to do this for her. "Good girl Tori." I whispered to her as I jerked my finger inside her sending her right over the edge. I left my fingers inside her as her walls contracted around them sending heat waves to my own sex.

After Tori came down from her high she stood up roughly pulling me up with her. She crashed her lips to mine before she pulled away. "I feel so much better." She smiled. "I know." I shrugged before she grabbed ahold of me and yanked me around; pushing me down on the bed roughly.

"Determined much?" I chuckled as she grabbed ahold of the bottom of my shirt and yanked it over my head before she started planting hard kisses on my chest. I laughed. "Tori slow down. I mean I know I'm the best but no need to rush things." She backed away before giving me a _"yeah right"_ look which made me laugh again. "I want you now. Do you mind?" She asked with a sad face which meant she didn't feel like taking her time teasing me and going nice and slow. She knows what she wants and she wants it now. I rolled my eyes. "I guess, since you were such a good girl for me." She smirked before she quickly yanked my pants down throwing them aside. She lifted a brow. "Determined much?" She stated at my soaked panties. "Oh, don't mock me West." She smiled. "Scoot back." She said and I obeyed before she threw herself on top of me as I wrapped my legs around her body. She kissed me hard while her fingers found their way to my soaked panties. "mmmm." I moaned as she slid her fingers slowly but roughly up my slit. She pulled my panties aside and-

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Jade! Jade! Tori!"

Tori and I both sighed as Tori dropped her head to my chest.

Every night, sometimes even two to three times a night Shiloh has been waking up with nightmares. She'll scream and scream until one of us shows up to let her know everything is okay and I'm telling you it's really starting to irk me so bad.

Tori pulled herself off of me before she walked over to our dresser and pulled out an oversize t-shirt and baggy pants as I stood and put on my own clothes quickly still with Shiloh screaming the whole time.

We both walked down to her room and flicked on the lights to see her sitting under her windows with her head down crying.

_She's never left her bed._

"Shiloh. It's okay. You're okay baby." Tori said as she sat down in front of her. I knelt down and put my arm to her back before she threw her arms around me.

I mean this is just crazy. Shiloh's had nightmares before, but never anything like this. I know the incident with Cat and the gun, and Tori and all had to be pretty scary for her but it's kind of like….like she's over exaggerating bit. I think all the attention we are giving her is making things worst. I have a feeling if we start to not baby her as much and ignore her outburst she wouldn't be as bad as she is now, and maybe even calm down a bit.

"You okay?" I asked as her crying subsided. She slowly pulled out of the tight grip she had me in before she wiped her eyes and nodded. "Can I please sleep with you guys?" She asked before she turned to Tori. Tori took a glance at me as I threw my head back in frustration.

Tori nodded. "Yeah, C'mon." she said as she stood up grabbing Shiloh's hand in hers.

_I can't fucking believe this…_

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**[Stallone's & Unknown's Text]**

Unknown: Heyyy

Stallone: Name?

Unknown: You know my name.

Stallone: Last time to state your name or I'm blocking this number.

Unknown: It's Essence. How are you?

Stallone: Blocking.

Unknown: Stallone wait! Hear me out.

Stallone: I'll block you out.

Unknown: Stallone why do you act like you can't talk to me anymore?

Stallone: I'm not even going to answer that.

Unknown: Okay, you still talk to Roxy.

Stallone: Barely!

Unknown: Yeah, yeah. Can you just put that behind you already? It's been years! I just want to be your friend. We were good friends before we ever even started dating and now you just hate me.

Stallone: I hate you for a reason!

Unknown: What reason?

Stallone: First off you're a psycho bitch! Second, maybe the fact that you tore my heart. You were my first love! I..why am I even having this conversation with you!? Stop finding my fucking number! Leave me the hell ALONEEEEEEE!

Unknown: Ok.

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**Thanks for reading! Please Review! ;)**


	24. Just Make it Stop

**Sorry guys short chapter :( Well I guess their all kind of short! Lol**

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Chapter 24

_Just Make it Stop_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

I opened my eyes slowly to see an empty spot on the king size bed that belong to my parents. I turned over to see Tori facing away from me fast asleep before I glanced at the clock which read 9:03am. I stretched before crawling off the bed slowly careful not to wake Tori.

I exited their room before walking down to my own just in time to hear my phone going off.

_**Incoming Caller: Roxanna**_

I hesitated before I answered the phone but figured what the heck?

"Hello?" I said softly as I sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Ohh! It's ya birthday! We gon' party like it's ya birthday! Happy birthdayyyyyy!"

Even though I had to take the phone away from my ear due to the fact I was slightly irritated at how loud she was being, my face still made a small smile.

"Thanks."

"How are you? You alright?"

I nodded but then realized I needed to speak forgetting she can't see my reaction. "Yeah. Just a little tired."

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah." I stated quietly.

"I'm sorry Shi. Things, they'll have to get better somehow."

I just sighed.

"I'm taking you out tonight."

"Roxy I-"

"-Ahhh! No excuses! You need to get out. Plus you already agreed I could take you out for your b-day. So it's happening."

"-But Rox-"

"-Ahh!"

"-B-"

"-Ahh! I'll be there to pick you up 6:00pm."

I sighed. _There's no way around this. _"Alright." I stated softly.

"Good. Happy birthday again. I'll see you later Angel." With that she hung up and I couldn't help but smile at the pet name.

Roxy has been so…caring for me. I mean not that she really wasn't at first, but now she's extra caring. She's been visiting me every day and calling when she's not here. Normally that would get on someone's nerves, but she doesn't get on mine. I actually look forward to talking to her each day. She's like….something new. She's not a Jade, or a Tori, or a Stallone. She's not a Sunshine, or a Johnson. She's Roxanna. She's kind, loving, sweet. It makes me wonder was this the girl who actually had a help with breaking my sister's heart those years back. She just seems like a person who'd never do anything close to that. There's no way she chose that decision on her own.

I shook my head from my day dream before glancing down at my phone again to see 8 unread text messages.

**Unread Text Messages**

Jade: Happy Birthday. Thought I'd be the first to tell you, but you're sleeping, so I don't want to wake you up.

Stallone: Happy 17th bday lil sis! Answer your damn phone!

Roxanna: Answer your phone!

Beck: Happy birthday Love. I hope you have a great one. I'll call a little later.

Daren: Happy birthday Shiloh.

Jaylen: Happy bday!

Evelyn: I love you Shiloh. Happy birthday.

Trina: Happy birthday Shiloh! I can't believe you're 17 now!

I sighed as I put my phone down. I stood up and walked out of my room and down stairs. The living room was empty but the T.V. played spongebob pretty loudly as I walked passed it and into the kitchen.

I watched Jade as she stood over the stove cooking up a buffet before I took a seat at a high chair.

She turned over to grab a pan behind her when she spotted me.

"Oh there's the birthday girl! Happy birthday!" She said as she walked over to me and pulled me into a tight hug that I barely returned.

It's not that I didn't want to hug her, it's just…I don't even know.

"Where's Tori?" She asked as she walked back over to the stove.

I shrugged.

"Where's Tori?" She asked a second time as she turned around to stir what looked like scrambled eggs.

"Asleep." I said quietly.

"What?" She said firmly.

I sighed. "Asleep."

Jade sighed as she took the pan of eggs and put them aside.

"Do you want to see Emily today?"

I shook my head. _Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?_

I really don't want to have anything to do with her today. Emily makes me feel like a crazy psychotic person. I'm not crazy…am I? No. I didn't need to talk to anyone in the first place my parents just think I need "help." No I don't need help. I just need time. That's all I need… time and space.

"Well talk to me like a 17 year old." She stated as she crossed her arms. What do you want to do for your birthday today? We can do anything you want."

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I just shrugged and shook my head.

"What did I just finish telling you?"

I frowned. _Why is she treating me this way? What did I do?_

"I don't know Jade."

"Attitude? Lose it."

_Wait what!?_ "I believe you're the only one with the attitude!" I yelled back.

Her eyes got wide for a moment before she turned back to the stove. "Oh see you can magically talk now! You're seeing Emily today."

"Why!" I yelled as I slammed my hands on the table.

"Because I said so!"

I started to get so frustrated. I knew my face had turned blood red and I couldn't help but to take my hands and scratch them down the sides of my face.

"Shiloh." I heard Tori say as a hand went to my back. "Baby stop." She said as she removed my hands and replaced them with her soft cold ones. "Are you okay?"

A few tears escaped my eyes as I shook my head no.

"What's wrong?"

"Tori stop babying her. I'm telling you."

"What?" Tori said as she let go of my face and turned to Jade.

"Stop babying her, that's why she's like she is now."

_What! What does she mean "like I am now!?"_

"Excuse me Jade? I'm not understanding." Tori said as she walked closer to her.

"What's there not to understand? Stop babying her! Stop treating her like…that. She doesn't need that much attention. She'll be fine."

Tori gave an _are you serious right now smile_. "Is she not in the room right now!?"

"Yes she is." Jade turned around to me. "Enough Shiloh."

"E…enough of what?"

"Enough. Stop acting like you can't talk, or that you're in this huge depression mode for attention. I know your little game. Matter of fact, fuck Emily. You don't need to go back to her. That's exactly what you want isn't it? Scream all you want to tonight over you're little attention grabber nightmares because nobody is going to come to save your little ass from the goons and goblins and you want to know why because you're being a sad excuse for-

**SMACK**

I gasped as I watched Tori bring her hand back and slap Jade across her face before holding fist and breathing with fury. Jade held onto her face before slowly turning her head back to Tori. Jade made a fist before she brought it up. I closed my eyes when I saw her fist move forward and I heard a loud bang before I opened my eyes again to see she punched the cabinet behind Tori instead of her and thank God she did. Tori now stood with fear written all over her face as Jade pointed a finger at her.

"Never, and I mean put your hands on me again." She said before she turned around and flipped the pan of eggs she had been cooking making them fall to the floor with a loud bang before she stormed out of the kitchen and out of the front door.

Tori closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm so sorry Shiloh."

My eyes filled with tears and I hopped down from the high chair and ran as fast as I could upstairs to my room before slamming the door and locking it.

I let out an ear piercing scream before I started throwing things around in my room. I finally fell onto my knees as I covered my face and cried.

_Why did I just do down there? Why does she act like…like she…doesn't care about me anymore!? What does she want me to do!? It's not an act Jade! It hurts!Ity really hurts! I hurt! And I thought out of all people she would understand that! That my parents if no one would always be by my side! I can't even sit and think straight without something crazy running through my mind and she thinks it's a joke! Put yourself in my shoes Jade! Fuck you! Fuck everything! All I have is Roxy. She's all that I have! I hope she doesn't turn on me as well! What would I do? Oh God please just make this pain stop! Please make it go away! I'll do anything! Please!_

_Just make it stop!_

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**[Trina's & Bailey's Phone convo]**

Trina: "Hey Bailey are you up?"

Bailey: "Yea I am. Why?"

Trina: "Can you please put those clothes in the dryer for me?"

Bailey: "Maybeeeeee."

Trina: "Pleaseee?"

Bailey: "Yes sure. Where are you?"

Trina: "mmmm taking care of business."

Bailey: "Doing what? You don't have business."

Trina: "I'm here to let you know I do have business! And plenty of it!"

Bailey: "What's the big bis?"

Trina: "Oh you'll see Bailey."

Bailey: "Really? What is it a surprise or something?"

Trina: "mmm maybe. It's your birthday gift. Oh by the way did you tell your cousin happy birthday?"

Bailey: "Oh my gosh I totally forgot! Did you? Since when did you even know her birthday!?"

Trina:"….I know! Anyways yeah."

Bailey: "So you have a surprise for me for my birthday? This is a first."

Trina: "Well you know I want to make things up to you."

Bailey: "You already have. I love you."

Trina: "I love you too Bailey."

Bailey: "Really...can I have a hint?"

Trina: "….It's to die for."

Bailey: "Yeah we'll see."

Trina: "Oh but we will."

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**Thanks for reading! Please reviewwwww :) Love you guys!**


	25. I'm Not Tin Man I Have a Heart

**Hey guys, I didn't do any other POV's for this chapter because I really want you guys to read this slow and really feel and take in what Jade is feeling without distractions since we all are hating on Jade right now.**

**And shout out to _cherrprn4, _you gave me some ideas for this chapter. ;)**

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Chapter 24

_I'm Not Tin Man; I Have a Heart_

**[Jade's POV]**

I floored it all the way down our street running two stop signs and running over a small cat on the way.

_I don't like cats anyways._

I parked my car and got out before I sat on the long rock wall that sat on top of a huge hill overlooking Hollywood.

I put my hands together before I put my head down.

_What? Jade what are you doing? _

I closed my eyes.

_I…I really didn't mean anything. I know I hurt her. I know I did, but I seriously, I seriously didn't mean it. I don't…I just…I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I'm just….frustrated, hurt and I'm…I'm scared. I hate to admit it, but I am. Scared of what? I don't know…for my daughter; for my family. Why…why do things keep happening to us? To her, to my family, to my baby girl, to me? I'm not made out of steal okay. I'm just not. I'm not Tin Man, I have a heart, but sometimes it seems people don't see that in me. They think I'm this person with absolutely no feelings; someone who can take everything and push it aside as if nothing ever happened, like I don't care. Like I can't feel pain, but I can and I do. I feel pain all the time, I just don't show it. I don't show it because I have a family, a family that may or may not look to me, well probably not now, but they use to. I had to be the strong one. I had to be the one everyone could run to and cry to. I had to be the one not to break and over the years, I've held a lot of shit in that I never once let out. I'm telling you that shit builds up and builds up and I just feel like I'm going to explode one day. When Sunshine died, I just couldn't hold that in any longer, but I didn't want my family to see me so broken so I did run to Beck for that. I know Tori told me she'll never think down on me, but it's the fact that…that I never should have to run to her. I'm supposed to be the strong one but I really think she actually is. If my family sees me so broken…they'll feel like…that's it were screwed. I try to still save hope by keeping a straight face and telling everyone shit will be okay when I know it's not. _

_I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to throw stuff around my room, I want to throw a tempter tantrum like a 5 year old child, but I can't. I can't be that weak. I'm Jade West, what happened to my reputation? It's been destroyed already. But…but who am I holding a reputation for again? Let me ask myself that? My family? Right? _

_I just don't want to break to anyone. I don't want them to see me cry because like I said…they'll feel even more scared then before. Like if they see me cry it turns in to "what are we going to do now?" Type of situation and I don't want that. I want them to see me hold everything down as if I know everything will be okay so they won't feel so scared. Me creaking in front of them is not going to happen. It's just not. _

_I just need to breathe. I need to take a minute. _

_My wife. She damn near broke my neck slapping me as hard as she did and I have to admit it she made me furious and even though I shouldn't have I was two seconds away from punching her in her face and in that split second I smashed my fist into the cabinet behind her instead and I can't believe I even thought to do that. I can't believe I thought to put my hands on her, to hurt her. I already hit her once and god I swear I was so messed up after that. It makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about that horrible day I did that. I'm so sorry Tori. I am. I never….never meant to hurt my wife. I love her so, so, so damn much nobody would understand the love I have for her and when…when I pulled that trigger and I heard her scream. My heart died. _

Tears started to fall from my eyes as I held them tightly shut.

_She was screaming and crying and bleeding and…and…I did that! God I did it! My heart dropped to my feet. I thought she was going to die any at any giving moment and when her crying started to dye down…I almost passed out and that was nothing compared to standing there seeing a woman hold a gun to my child's head. A loaded gun….to my baby head. _

I put my hands to my face as I started to sob into them.

_She's going to die. That's all I could think of. I was losing my baby girl tonight and it was going to happen in my face, I was going to watch it happen. I took a step closer begging, just begging for her to stop, but she put her finger on the trigger and I couldn't take it. I've never been so scared in my ENITIRE LIFE. I was so scared that it hurt. Physical pain, I could feel it. I looked my baby in her eyes and they were full of fear, full of "Jade why would you let this happen to me?" I swear I didn't! I did! I must have! It's my fault, everything is my fault! I mean everything! I shouldn't have let her stay in the first damn place. If I had of just…just listened to my wife none of that shit would have happened that night. I let her in because I thought she was ready, that she was serious about getting help, but apparently she wasn't and I'm so sorry to my family for putting them through this. _

_Shiloh's not the only one waking up with nightmares every night. I wake up with them all the time. I always have nightmares, I can't stop them. My heart always hurts I can't stop it. My eyes always fill with tears, but I can stop that. I hold them. And I always will, when I'm around my family and that's just me. _

_I can cry now. No one is watching. But I'm not going to cry for long. No. I have to get home. I have to apologize to my daughter. I didn't mean anything I said. It was just…an outburst of nothing. Nothing made since. Why did I even say that? Why would I even think she's acting? She's been though so damn fucking the hell much and I guess I was just so mad that these things are happening to her and that there is nothing I can do and I took it out on her and Tori. What the hell is going on with me? I lost control of myself and I can't ever let that happen again. Not to my family. Not ever. My problem is that I always let my anger get the best of me. I need to stop that. Today, now. I can't keep letting this happen because soon my family will definitely hate me and I don't want that. I have to get home. I have to apologize to my daughter, apologize to my wife. I owe them that much. I owe them more. I owe them everything that I have. I owe them my life. And I want to give that to them somehow because I lost my role as a good mother and wife years ago and have to earn that back somehow._

_I have to start with getting back to my family. It's my daughter's birthday and damn it if I don't make sure she has the best one of her life. I've already screwed up her morning, but we still have a full day ahead of us._

I stood up as I wiped my eyes before heading back to my car.

_And hell if I don't make this the greatest day during pure misery._

* * *

**I know this was short, but all good chapters aren't made of 100 pages.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	26. I'm Going to Kill You

Chapter 26

_I'm Going to Kill You_

**[Jade's POV]**

I drove home with an empty mind. I don't want to think about anything. I just want to drive and just….keep my mind clear.

I turned a few corners deciding I was going to take the long way home because I needed time to just breathe.

I waited patiently at a stop light as I took a quick glance down an alley that was to my right before turning my attention back to the stoplight.

_Wait!_

I quickly turned my eyes back to the alley and my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. It was her, oh it was definitely her, Cat, smoking on some pipe she held to her lips with two guys sitting next to her.

_Wow she's really out in the open with that shit._

I took no time turning my wheel as far as it would go before whipping my car down the alley halfway. I turned my car off and hopped out immediately wasting no time to make my way to her.

"J…Jade? What are…oww!"

She said as I backed hand slapped her before smacking the pipe out of her hand.

"Get up!" I said through gritted teeth as I yanked her up by her shirt that was really owned by Tori before I literally dragged her to my car. I opened my back door before I grabbed her by her waist and threw, and I mean I threw her in the back seat and slammed the door before returning to my seat in the front. I started the car as I looked up at the two guys she was smoking with and they didn't seem the least bit phased.

"Jadee, Jade what…where are we going?"

"_You're_ going to hell!" I said as I put the car in reverse and floored it out of the alley without even checking to see if anyone was coming and to Cat's luck, no traffic was.

I put the car back in drive as I turned back onto the street speeding as fast as I could back to the small private area I had just departed from.

"J…Jade please…where are…are we going? Pleasee don't hurt…hurt me please."

I grinded my teeth together. "I'm going to kill you." And at that time my words were 100% true. I was going to kill her, I am going to kill her.

I finally arrived at my destination and put the car in park before I heard the back door open. I opened my door just in time to see Cat hoping out and running for her life.

"No you don't!" I said as I hopped out and easily caught up with her. I grabbed her by her arm and swung her to the ground before grabbing her collar and dragging her back to my car.

"Jadee! Stop! Someone help! Help! Please!"

I stopped dragging her and slapped her as hard as I could in her face making her let out a painful cry.

"Shut the hell up!" I yelled before I continued to drag her across the rough concrete, around my car and into the small woods. I grabbed her with both hands and pulled her to a standing position before throwing her up against a huge tree.

Her face was soaked with tears as her face became puffy from the slaps I've given her.

"Everyday I sit and think about the many different ways I was going to kill you the next time that I saw you. Whether it was to torcher you by cutting each one of your pretty little fingers off with my scissors or if I was just going to put a fucking gun to your head! And shoot the living fucking life out of you!" I said as I kicked her hard in her womanhood and believe me boys it hurts a woman too.

She let out a scream as her hands went to her genitals as she hit the ground. "Jjjj Jade pleaseee! Pleasee I'm sorry! Okayyy."

I laughed. "You put a gun to my child's head and you're sorry?" I looked up and shook my head before taking my boot and kicking her right in her stomach which made her let out another agonizing scream.

"We'll I'm sorry too Caterina." I mocked as I kicked her again.

I got to my knees before turning her to her back. I sat down on top of her before I spit in her face and dug my nails into her sides.

"Ahhhhhh! Jadeeeee! Pleaseeee! I'll do anything! Please stop!"

I reached my hand up and back hand slapped her across her mouth this time. "I said shut the hell up!"

She instantly stopped screaming as little bird cries escaped her mouth. She kept her eyes closed tight as I put one hand over her mouth and used my other to pinch her nose.

My heart was beating out of control as she squirmed and flipped and kicked beneath me, but it was no use for her. I was stronger. She kicked and kicked for what seemed like eternity and even though everything in me was telling me it was enough, telling me to let go, my hands were frozen, and they were frozen until the kicking and the squirming came to a complete stop as the body beneath me went totally limp.

* * *

**[Roxy's & Shiloh's Text]**

Shiloh: Can you come get me now?

Roxy: Lol it's barley 11:00, I'm not even ready yet!

Shiloh: I mean, I just have to get out of here.

Roxy: What's wrong? What happened?

Shiloh: I really don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to get out of here. Please come now, please Roxy.

Roxy: Okay, I'll be right there. Hang tight.

* * *

**[Evelyn's POV]**

"Tie your shoes before you fall Kulado." I said as I stood with my arms crossed as me and Stallone stood at a nearby playground not far from Beck's house.

Kulado ran over to me and bent down to tie his shoe but failed over and over again.

"Here let me help." Stallone offered but he pushed her away.

"I can do it." He said as he tried again but failed. Finally I bent down and tied his shoe up for him before he gave a huge frown and walked back to the playground with his head down.

"I taught him how to tie his shoes. He knew how to do it." Stallone said as she turned to me.

"I know." I put my head down. Stallone wrapped her arms around me before placing a small kiss on my cheek.

"He'll be okay." She whispered to me.

Last week Beck set me up with a psychiatrist that I go to sometimes twice a day. They've prescribed me with pills to keep me calm and functional and I guess they work because I do feel more at ease. Stallone took me to a hair salon where they had to fix what I damaged, and now my hair is cut short like a guys but it's still in a small style and I have to admit I like it as well as Stallone. It's like a new me. The only thing I don't like is that you can see my ears more….they are almost like elf ears…they are pretty pointy. I hate them but Stallone says they make me look so cute and beautiful at the same time. On another note Stallone and I have gotten back together just as of yesterday. I don't even really understand why I broke up with her in the first place. I was so…unhappy and don't get me wrong I'm still in a hole that I'm easily coming out of, but I can kind of breathe now, and I guess I have to thank the pills and the help for that.

"It's about to rain, we should head back." Stallone said as she grabbed onto my hand. I nodded.

"Come on Kulado! time to go!"

"Awwww!" He yelled out as he put his head back down and stomped over to us.

Stallone bent down. "Hop on my back kido!" She said and a huge smile took over his face as he grabbed onto her shoulders and hopped on.

Once we were back at the house Kulado went to the room he's been sharing with Mike as Beck at in front of the T.V. with an ice tea and his phone on speaker.

"Haha man, you got to be kidding? I got to stop by sometime man."

"You should Andre, I got the Madden 13. You should to play it with me sometime."

"Will do, I'll catch you later man, got to go."

"K." With that Beck hung up the phone before he turned over to us as we both sat on a recliner with me sitting on Stallone's lap.

"Hey guys." Beck said as he downed the rest of his tea. "Kulado have fun?"

"Yea. He had fun."

Roxy walked into the living room grabbing her jacket off the rack. "Bye guys!"

"Hey, hey hold. Where are you going?" Beck said as he stood up.

"To get Shiloh."

Beck ran his hand threw his hair as he gave an unsure look. "Yeah I've been meaning to talk to you about you and Shiloh."

Roxy sighed. "There's nothing to talk about."

"You always run over there and if you're not over there you're whispering to her on your phone when you're around me. What's up with you two?"

"I looked at Stallone who turned around and gave Roxy the most evil look in the world before she turned back to me.

Roxy sighed. "Nothing, really. We are just good friends now."

Beck gave her a _yeah sure_ look before turning around. "We'll talk later. Curfew is at 10 tonight."

"What! It's always at 12! And it's the weekend!"

"It's 10 tonight." He turned to say before continuing his journey to the kitchen.

Roxy sighed loudly as she walked out of the front door with a slam.

I sighed as well as I snuggled into Stallone's chest for a quick nap.

_Jut breathe Evelyn…you're okay._

* * *

**[Beck's & Tori's Text]**

Beck: Hey Tori?

Tori: Yes?

Beck: Is um, Shiloh dating right now?

Tori: Not that I know of why?

Beck: Do her and Roxy seem close to you?

Tori: Oh yeah, but I don't think they are dating. They are just good friends.

Beck: Are you sure about that?

Tori:…no. I mean is there a problem if they were?

Beck: I mean no…it's…no it's not a problem.

Tori: You really hate to see Roxy with another girl don't you?

Beck: (sighing emoticon) I mean as long as she's happy it shouldn't bother me, but it does a little. When she was dating Michael I was so happy because I thought it was just a phase she was going through with girls and now that Michael's gone…it seems she's turning to your daughter and maybe Shiloh is turning to her.

Tori: Well Beck, she's your daughter you know. You should support her no matter what she chooses. If it's love then it's love, so be it. You can't really tell her who she can or can't love. She'll never be happy.

Beck: I know I can't you're right about that. I just wish….she was straight.

Tori: Does it matter?

Beck: Oh no offense to you or Jade or your kids, I just feel weird with my daughter bringing home women. It's not how we were brought up, so I feel as if I brought her up wrong or something.

Tori: Beck you didn't bring her up wrong! It's her choice. I was brought up in a straight family I chose to date Jade. I fell in love with her. That had nothing to do with how my parents brought me up. And it's like these days being gay is just normal. Nobody looks at you or treat you any different like they use to a long time ago. You know if her and Shiloh end up falling love, I'm fine with that. As long as Shiloh's happy and you should the same about Roxy.

Beck: I see. I don't know why I'm giving it a hard time.

Tori: Just let her heart choose. Everything will be fine.

Beck: Yeah. Yeah you're right. Thanks Tori.

Tori: Anytime. (smiling emoticon)

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please reviewwwww! ;)**


	27. Real Love

Chapter 27

_Real Love_

**[Jade's POV]**

I immediately removed my hands from her mouth and nose as my own breathing started to get heavy.

"Cat?" I only whispered because my own voice had lost me.

She didn't answer. Her face was a bit blue as her body laid lifelessly in the leaves of the woods.

"Cat!" I yelled this time as my heart started beating so fast that it hurt. My body started to shiver as my heavy breathing turned into panting.

Again she didn't answer.

"Oh my god!" I took my hands and shook her hard trying to wake her as if she were sleeping. "Cat! Wake up!"

I ran my hands through my hair before I brought a finger down to her nose to see if she was breathing in which she was not and that's when I started to panic.

_Oh my god I really killed her! I killed her! Oh my god noo! I didn't mean this! I wasn't…oh my god!_

I put to fingers to the pulse on her neck while I just yelled _please_ aloud over and over again and to my great relief she had one. A very faint one. She's alive.

_What do I do, what do I do, what do I do!?_

I hurried and tried to gather shit we learned in CPR class back in middle school. I turned her over a tad bit more so that she as lying flat on her back before I put my hands over where I thought her heart was.

WAIT!

_Jade you idiot, her heart is beating! What the hell does she need CPR for? _

I instantly pulled my hands back. "Right." I commented to my own thought aloud as I tried to calm myself a bit.

_She's not breathing…mouth to mouth!_

I took her chin and tilted her head back a little bit as we learned back in CPR class. I remember they said something about it opens the wind pipe? Shit I don't know!

I didn't think twice before I put my lips to hers that were slightly open before breathing into her slowly. I looked down and watched as her chest rose and fell as the air escaped her again.

_Ok, I'm doing it right._

I did it again and again and again and then sat back to see her reaction and still she laid there lifelessly even though her face had returned to its original color.

"Fuck cat! Wake up!" I said as I shook her more, still no use.

I sat back and put my face in my hands before reaching into my back pocket and pulling out my phone.

I didn't want to have to call 911. I didn't mean for things to get this far. Yes I wanted to kill her, but I didn't really, really mean as in taking her life. Who am I to do that? Yes I hate her, I hate her so fucking much, but….I couldn't stand to see her die, and I definitely couldn't be the one to cause it. I just wanted to fucking beat the shit out of her ass and scare her a bit. Not to do this. Ever.

I took a breath before I typed in the 3 numbers for immediate rescue. I was going to be in huge trouble when they found out what happen. Not that I was scared, but….it's just not a problem I needed to add to my family at this time.

Just as I was about to hit the call button her arm moved, then her leg before she let out a huge cough followed by smaller ones and a huge breath.

She opened her eyes slowly before she turned her head to me and the look on her face was indescribable.

"Jade…." She said as tears filled her eyes. And I just…I couldn't believe myself. What the hell did I just do!?

My eyes filled with millions of tears that feel almost immediately as I dropped my phone yanked her up into a hug.

"I just want Sunshine." She cried weakly to me and I felt like a huge dick.

Okay she did the shit she did, and no I'll never forgive her for that, and no I don't regret beating the shit out of her, but I do regret what I just had done. Cat….she's lost her daughter. The most precious thing a mother could ever have, and she wasn't even here to say goodbye to her. I've been so mad at her for that, but….I can't be. She's so hurt and she's probably delusional. She did what she did that night to my family because she can't see. And why it's taken me so long to realize this, I don't know. I have no idea what kind of pain she's in and for me to…threaten to take her life? And to almost live up to that threat…Jade that's a bitch move. Are you serious?

Cat just needs someone to really love and pay attention to her. For someone to do more than just feed her and give her a place to sleep in which I was doing. She needs so much help and guidance and I was neglecting that.

I reached behind me and put my phone back into my pocket before holding on tight to her. I stood up with her still hanging on tight to me letting me pick her up before she wrapped her legs around me as if she were a child being carried to bed.

I think after….after all I've just done to her, how she can still hold onto me tightl; how she is still trusting me to hold her even though she has no idea what I'm going to do is just…amazing. I could drop her and stomp on her more for all she knows, but she doesn't….she's not realizing that I guess. She has no one to hang onto and if the only person she can hang onto is a person that will kill her, either way, she still will do it because Cat has a real heart. No matter what you say to her, no matter what you do to her, at the end of the day, she still will welcome you with open loving open arms, and I don't know anyone like that. No even my oh-so-caring wife does that. And that's…real love.

I carried her to my car before I sat her down gently in the back seat that I had earlier tossed her in like a rag doll before closing her door.

I wiped tears from my eyes as I got into the driver's seat closing my door as well before starting the car and heading off.

The car ride Cat was quiet. She didn't say a word.

We finally arrived at Carter Clinical/Rehab Center before I hopped out and tended to her in the back. I pulled her out of the car and fixed her clothes and hair before holding her face in my hands. "Are you okay?"

She nodded before I pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry Cat." She didn't say anything as she pulled away from me, but she gave me a small kiss on my cheek. "Nothing can explain how sorry I am to you." She put her head down as tears fell from her eyes and to the ground. "I never really had the chance to say it, but I really didn't….I didn't mean to do that and I know those words aren't enough. I deserved that back there. I mean after what I did who wouldn't? I know I wouldn't forgive me either and I'll never ask you too. I'll never ask you of anything. Please apologize to Shiloh for me. Apologize to Tori. Apologize to Stallone. I apologize again to you. It was just hurting so bad and….I don't know what took over me. It was something that I couldn't control. I can't believe myself for…even holding a gun. Something….I don't know. My actions were and are inexcusable so there's nothing more I can say. I love Shiloh so much, she's became like a daughter to me. I really don't know if I'll see her again or if she even wants to see me. But please tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry for putting her through this."

Cat looked up at me as more tears fell from her puffy eyes. "She's the closes thing I have left to Sunshine."

I looked away for a moment before I turned and I put my arm around her shoulder as I led her to the front door of the rehab center. "This." I pointed to the door before I removed my arm and took 5 steps away. "This is where you start. You choose this, or you choose to go back." I took more steps back.

"You choose. I'm not holding you on a leash this time."

She looked at me before she turned to the door; then she turned to look at the street.

"You're….you're still going to…go help me? After all I've done?"

_I know the old me wouldn't. The old me would have said fuck Cat and dipped, but…not me. Not now._

"Choose." I said ignoring her question.

She nodded. "I want this." She said before turning around and pulling open the big handle that led into the center. "But I can't…I can't do it alone."

I nodded as I walked up to the door that she held open for me. "You won't be alone." I said as we walked in together.

I don't know where exactly things will go from here. I know she can't stay with me anymore. There's just enough problems in the house and me bringing home Cat….it's not going to be good at all. I'll have to talk around to see where she can stay and I'll figure things out. I have to hurry and get her signed up for this so I can get home myself because my family awaits me.

_It's going to be a long day I can say that much._

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

I knocked on the door that belonged to Shiloh's house before it swung open almost immediately.

Tori's stood with a look of….I don't even know what that expression was supposed to be but it sure wasn't happy.

"Hey, Tori? You okay?"

She sighed as her expression turned to a tired one. "Yeah, come on in." She said as she stepped aside.

"Shiloh's in her room. I don't think she's in much of a mood for company though." She said as she closed the door behind me.

"Oh she told me to come."

Tori lifted a brow. "Oh." She walked over to the couch and took a seat. "Are you guys dating?" She blurted out as she took a sip of whatever she was drinking.

"Uh..uh no. No. We aren't. Why?"

"Do you like her or something?"

_I hate when I'm corned with questions I don't like to answer. What if Shiloh sincerely doesn't like me back and she told Tori that. Then if I say yes I'd look like an idiot._

"I..I don't know."

"Just know that if you do. It's okay."

_What?_

"Ummm. Okay. Thanks?"

She just nodded as she stared at the T.V. that was turned off.

"I think if the T.V. was on it would be more entertaining…just a thought." I chuckled, but she didn't. She didn't even give a small sign of amusement and for Tori…I knew something was wrong.

"Are you okay?"

She just sat staring at the blank screen as if she was either ignoring me, or she didn't hear me.

"Tori!"

She jumped before she turned to me. "Yes?"

"I said are you okay?"

She nodded. "Oh, yeah…yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired is all. You can go ahead and see Shiloh." She said as if she were trying to dismiss me.

I nodded as I turned slowly to the stairs.

**KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Hey Shiloh it's me." I spoke through the door.

"Come in."

I opened her door and walked in before closing it behind me. Shiloh sat in the edge of her bed in her house clothes before she stood up and wrapped her arms around me tight.

"Hey you alright?"

She nodded. "I just want to get out of here. Please get me out of here."

"What happened this morning? Where's Jade?"

"I'll tell you later."

I nodded before giving her a kiss on her head. "Get dressed birthday girl."

"I don't know what to wear. And I need to shower."

I giggled. "You called me and rushed me over here, and you're not ready what-so-ever."

"Sorry. I guess I got distracted."

I walked over to her closet and pulled out a fancy type shirt with dark skinny jeans and a pair of heels to match her shirt.

"Here wear this. It's cute. It says, "It's my birthday." I smiled.

She gave back a weak smile before she grabbed the outfit from my hands and laid it out on her bed.

"I'm going to shower. You can watch T.V, or something. It won't take me long." She said as she removed her shirt. She turned around to her dirty clothes hamper and threw the shirt in along with her shorts. She reached into the top of her closet as she stood in perfect side view in her bra and panties and I…I just couldn't stop staring. I've never seen her so…unclothed and her body is so amazingly perfect.

"You…need help?" I asked as I continued to stare at her.

She sighed as she gave up reaching for whatever she was trying to get. "Yeah, Jade keeps putting my towels up here where I can't reach them. Can you please get one down?" She asked innocently as I stood up and walked over to the closet. She didn't move out of the way for me, but instead stayed in front of the closet looking up at what she wanted as if it were going to fall for her.

I stood behind her as I reached up and took my time grabbing the towel. I don't know if I'm wrong for this, but I just couldn't help myself. I pretended I couldn't reach the towel and took a step closer so that her butt was directly touching my front center. I rubbed up against her as I grabbed the towel and brought it down in front of her so that she could grab it.

"Thanks." She said weakly but she didn't move. I put my hands on the bare skin of her waist before setting my chin on her shoulder.

As bad as I wanted to kiss on her neck, I didn't. I haven't even kissed her on her lips yet and it's not that I haven't had the chance to, because I've had plenty trust me, but it's just…I don't want to rush things. She doesn't seem to mind me holding her the way I am now and It would be a perfect time to kiss, but….I don't want to kiss her like this. I don't want it to end up somewhere else, because that's not what I'm here for. That's not what I want her for.

I easily let go of her before I walk back to sit on the edge of her bed where I sat at first like nothing ever happened.

Shiloh on the other hand didn't really move. She stood there with her eyes in her closet but I knew her mind was elsewhere. She gave what sounded like a small aggravated sigh before she walked passed me and out of her room to go shower and I couldn't help to believe that she was angry with me.

_Fuck Roxy you just had to do that did you!? Ugh!_

I threw myself back onto her bed with a huge sigh and it wasn't until I stood up and walked back over to her closet to check out her clothes and shoes that I realized she's the exact same height as me. She could have reached that towel just as well as I had and there would had been no reason for Jade to keep putting her towels where she couldn't reach them.

_So what the hell was going on in her mind….?_

* * *

**Thanks for reading! And thanks for all the reviews! You guys are awesome!**


	28. How Much More Can I Take?

Chapter 28

_How Much More Can I Take?_

**[Tori's POV]**

I stood in the bathroom with my shirt up as I inspected the wound under my rib. It wasn't too delightful to see. It looked like something off of a horror movie and I knew for a fact it was badly infected. There was a small discharge coming from the wound that had a foul smell while around it was red and puffy.

I sighed. "Tori go to the doctor." I told myself as I put my shirt back down.

I walked out of the bathroom and back over to the living room just in time to catch Shiloh and Roxy coming down the stairs.

"Are you leaving?" I asked as I stood by the stair rail.

"Yeah, I'll be home a little later Tori. Is that okay?"

I smiled as I gave her a kiss on her head. "It's fine. I'm sorry your birthday morning hasn't gone so well. Please go enjoy your birthday. Have fun baby."

She smiled before Roxy opened the door for her letting her out first. "See you later Tori." Roxy said as she walked out closing the door behind her.

I sighed again as I walked into the kitchen to get more coco before I returned to the living room couch.

After about 15 minutes into a cartoon that I didn't even recognize, Jade walked in.

I immediately stood up. "Jade, I"

Jade put her hand up. "Let's just let it all go."

"Let go of the fact that you ruined the birthday morning of our daughter?"

Jade shook her head. "I…I know. Look…I'm sorry. I don't…let's just not discuss this right now."

She walked over to me and gave me a small peck on my lips that I didn't return before bringing me into a hug that I pulled out of quicker than I knew she wanted me too.

"Where have you been?" I asked as I sat back down.

She sat down beside me before she took a breath. "I found Cat."

_Ugh, just the sound of her name makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. _

"Found her where?"

"It doesn't matter. I got her some help."

My eyes got wide. "You did what?"

"I took her to a rehab center. She needs to get her life straightened out." She said nonchalantly as she picked her nails.

"What!? Jade you need to get your mind right! You just….wait. Let me get this straight." I started to give a fake laugh. "You just helped a bitch who almost killed your daughter and wife?" I asked calmly.

She looked over at me with slightly parted lips. "Tori it's not like that-"

"-Oh then please explain to me what the hell it's like? Because that's exactly what it sounds like."

Jade sighed again. "I found Cat, and…I was so pissed at her. So I threw her in the back seat, took her to the woods, and beat that shit out of her-"

"-Am I suppose to believe this?"

She was quiet for a moment while she stared at me as if I was crazy for asking those words.

"Yes! You are! What I'm liar now? Did I lose a trust bet?"

I just stared at her.

"What the hell are you trying to say Tori?" She asked as she turned all the way towards me.

I shook my head. "Just finish. What else happened?"

She rolled her eyes at me before she continued. "Tori….Cat, she's lost her daughter okay. That's everything to a woman. She needed help. She's lost, she doesn't know what she's doing. She sincerely wants help. I know she does, so I helped her Tori."

_I can't believe this? Who is this I'm talking to? _

"Helped her how!? By driving her to rehab?"

"Yes Tori. I…I promised I would help her get through this."

"Hold! Who's paying for this!?"

"Fo…for what?" She asked as she lost eye contact with me.

I stood up forcefully. "Don't you play dumb with me Jade! Who's paying!?" I stomped a foot on the ground and god she better not say it.

She sighed before she looked up at me. "I am Tori."

"Have. You. Lost. Your. MIND!?"

Jade stood up as well. "No Tori! She just wanted help!"

"She put a gun to your daughter's head! Does that mean anything to you!?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out.

"Apparently it doesn't! Since when have you cared so much to help someone!? Please tell me Jade! Now all of a sudden WE! Not you, WE! Are paying to help a crackhead who almost killed your whole family in ONE NIGHT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before giving her a hard push in her chest.

I could tell by the expression on Jade's face that she wasn't playing anymore. She gave me that same look she gave me the day she striked me in my face and just to challenge her I took a step forward.

_I dare her to hit me._

"She needed help Tori. So I helped her." She stated calmly after taking a deep breath. "She didn't know what she was doing that night. She was in a delusional state."

"I don't give a fuck if she was all the way in Florida! There's no excuse for that Jade! What the hell would you have done if she had of pulled that trigger! Huh!? Please tell me!"

Jade looked away from me. "I don't know Tori!"

"You would have killed her! She was that close! And you are helping her!? What the fuck is the matter with you!? Ugh!"

"Tori! She needed help so I fucking helped her! Okay! I'm sorry!"

"You can help her but you can't even help your own fucking family!"

"What do you mean!?"

"It's your daughter's birthday Jade! She's already been through so much and you go and kill her even more with your stupid words this morning! Then you fucking leave and go help that bitch while your daughter is most likely upstairs crying her eyes out! We need you Jade! But nooo you are so worried about Cat and her fucking needs! I told you she shouldn't have stayed here in the first place, but you still let her! Now what!? Your daughter is traumatized by what she did to her and still_.."She needed help so I helped her"_ Fuck that Jade!"

"Tori! I'm fucking sorry okay! What do you want me to do and I'll do it!"

"You can start by packing your bullshit and getting out of this house and tending to your wife Cat who definitely needs you the most!" I yelled.

"Tori." She said in a soft voice as she put her head down.

"Jade, get out of my house."

"So that's it. You're really going to make me leave." She said as she looked back up at me.

I nodded. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. Now get your shit, and leave." I pointed to the door.

"And…and where am I going?"

"Oh you can run to Cat's house again." I said as lifted a brow and crossed my arms.

She chuckled. "You know what Tori? This is MY house. How about you get _your_ shit and _you_ leave."

"Fine. I will." I said as I walked passed her. "And Shiloh's coming with me."

She laughed. "Ohh no, no. Shiloh stays here. You're not taking my daughter anywhere."

"Your daughter?"

"Shiloh belongs to me."

"And what do you mean by _"she belongs to you"_ ?" I asked as I inched closer to her with my arms still folded.

"I mean she's mine and you can't take her anywhere!" She yelled as she stomped her foot.

Tears filled my eyes as I turned for the door to feel her grab my arm and yank me around.

"Tori I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Jade just let me go! I hate you!" I screamed as I tried to retrieve my arm from her but her grip got tighter.

"Jade! Stop! Just leave me alone! Be with your family! Since you love them so much! Matter of fact! Just marry Cat! You two can live happily ever after!" I screamed as I pulled harder and harder for my arm.

Next thing I know I was being thrown to the floor in which I hit my head hard before she jumped on top of me.

"I love you Tori! Okay! I don't know! I just don't know! I can't…I thought helping her would…I thought it was the right thing to do! Okay! I'm sorry! All my life I've used Cat! That's all I've ever done Tori! I used her and used her for my own good! Not once did I ever apologize to her! Not once did I ever make things up! It's been hurting me for so long and you know this Tori! So when…when I see that she needs help, I jump at the chance! I owe this to her! I know she did some crazy shit to us and no Tori I'll never forgive her for doing what she did to my daughter ever! But I can at least try to have a heart for once and help her! If there's anything I've learned from you is to have a heart! I might be doing something dumb, I just might, but it's worth a shot! I'm not just helping her for me Tori! I'm just helping her for her! She has a daughter and a son who still needs her! Think about them! Evelyn is going crazy without her family and she still has a mom. Tori….I….just want to help! I don't…I'm sorry…I…I don't know Tori." She got off of me before she put her hands to her face and started to sob hard.

I mean, I've seen Jade cry before but nothing was like this. She turned away from me as she cried harder into her own hands. "I'm so sorry Tori." She cried out.

I crawled over to her and wrapped my arms around her tight before she did the same to me. Her face went to my shoulder before I felt all her tears start to soak up my shirt and the feeling that I'm feeling for my wife right now…it's nothing I've ever felt. I've never gotten to hold her like this. I've never seen her so broken and I'm so glad that she didn't run away. I'm so glad she can feel comfortable with me holding her like this at her weakest point. Even though I was in the mist at being pissed off at her...I just can't now. And Jade is…kind of right about helping Cat. Not for Cat, but for her kids. That's the only way I'm going to…go along with this. For Kulado, for Evelyn. They need their mother, Jade's right about that, but I know Jade didn't just help Cat for them. She did help Cat for her.

Jade always use to tell me how she used Cat when we were younger. How she used her for her own good and she's been feeling so guilty ever since. She told me one night that the guilt is eating her alive. Before we lost friendship with Cat Jade would tell me how she promised herself she is going to do something amazing for her because she owed her something. And I agreed, but Jade never gotten that chance and I guess now she's still trying to live up to her own promise no matter what. And it kind of makes me mad, but I now understand where she is coming from.

I'm not going to be there for Cat. I'm not going to hold her hand through this, but…I'll hold my wife's hand only for her and for Cat's children that's it. I'll never forgive Cat. I don't know if Jade will, but I'm not, and she really shouldn't either. You aren't going to put a gun to my daughter's head threatening her life and get away with it. I don't care what kind of state she was in, I don't care how lost she was, I don't care how blind she was, I don't care if she was fucking possessed. She'll never step foot near my kids again.

I hope that one day we are all finally over and done with this….mess. I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of crying, I'm sick of worrying, I'm just sick of it all. I want to live in peace and I…I just can't anymore. There's always something…something around the corner to mess with everybody's lives and I'm tired of it! I hope this is all coming to an end soon.

_Because I don't know how much more I can take…._

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**Thanks for reading! Review!**


	29. Shit Screwier

Chapter 29

_Shit Screwier _

**[Jade's POV]**

_That Night_

**RING, RING, RING, RING**

"Hello?" Shiloh answered in a sad voice.

"Shilo-"

"-Jade not right now."

I sighed. "Where are you?"

"I'm out."

"Out where?"

"Out."

"Shiloh. give me a location."

"No."

I felt myself starting to heat with anger but I tried to calm myself. "Shiloh, you aren't grown okay. If I'm asking where you are, you tell me where you are." I stated in a calm voice.

"Oh."

"Oh where are you?"

"Out."

This time I had to bite my tongue.

"Hey who's that?" Tori asked as she walked into the living room.

Before I accidently said anything that I would regret later, I handed Tori the phone. "It's Shiloh. Put it on speaker." I whispered to her.

Tori took the phone from me hitting the speaker button before she spoke. "Shiloh?"

"Oh hey Tori." Her voice had a whole different demeanor; now sounding happy and excited.

"Hey baby, are you having fun?" Tori asked with a smile.

"Yeah kind of I guess, better than nothing."

"Really? What did you do?"

"Roxy took me to lunch, roller skating, space center, spa, and we took a walk down Sunset."

"Sounds like fun. I'm glad you are enjoying yourself. Where are you guys now?"

"We are on the way to dinner. I don't know where she's taking me. She won't tell me."

"It's a surprise!" Roxy yelled out in the background which made Shiloh chuckle and it just touched my heart. It's been a long time since I heard Shiloh give off any type of laugh and it felt so good to hear it.

"Well you girls have a good night. I'll see you later. Love you."

"I love you too."

With that Tori hung up the phone and handed it back to me with a smile as I sat with my mouth half opened. "Why the hell wouldn't she tell that to me!?"

"What did she tell you?"

"She wouldn't answer any of my questions. She was pissing me off on purpose."

"Well what did you ask?"

"I asked where she was."

"You probably demanded where she was Jade. Did you ask her about how her birthday was going? If she's doing okay? If she's having fun?"

I looked down for a moment.

"Yeah, I wouldn't think you would. And especially after all you said to her this morning Jade, I wouldn't be happy with you either. You still owe her an apology."

I sighed. "What do you think I called her for?"

"And not over the phone!"

I sighed again.

Tori gave a weak smile. "Want to watch a movie?"

"No." I said as I stood up and yanked her to me. "I rather do something else."

Tori gave a smile before her lips crashed into mine. The way she shoved her tongue into my mouth gave me a small shiver as she backed me onto the couch.

The back of my knees hit the edge of the couch making me fall into a sitting position before she sat on top of me with her legs on either side of me. Our lips met again as I brought my hands to the back of her thighs and started to rub my hands up slowly before she hit them away breaking the kiss. "No. It's all about you." She whispered before she met my lips again.

"Lay down."

I did as I was told as I laid back on the couch. She got back on top of me as she straddled my hips. I grabbed onto her sides before she let out an agonizing scream causing me to jump and remove my hands.

I stared at her wide eyed. "What!?"

She lifted up her shirt.

"Oh my god! Tori!" I said as I sat up making her fall off of me slightly. I looked at the bloody, disgusting looking wound that looked to be fucking eating her alive.

"Has this looked like this all day!?" I asked as I touched the skin around it.

She shook her head. "You just made it bleed."

"C'mon I didn't grab you that hard!" I said as I still messed around it. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"It does when you touch it."

I shook my head as I removed her from me and stood up. "C'mon."

"Come on where? Where are we going?" She asked as she stood up.

"To the fucking emergency room. Where the hell else?"

"Nooooo." Tori stomped like a five year old.

"What the hell do you mean no? C'mon on here." I said as I put on a small jacket and grabbed my keys.

"Jade, no. It'll get better."

"Tori are you crazy! That thing is going to make you sick! It's not getting better! Let's go."

"No."

_What the hell!?_

"Tori what's your fucking problem? Are you scared or something?"

"No. I'm not scared. I just don't want to go."

I grabbed the bridge of my nose before I shook my head. "Tori I really don't know what your problem is right now. But seriously, let's go."

She took a step back as she scratched the palm of her hand; her nervous sign.

"Baby, what's wrong, seriously?" I said as I walked over to her.

"I just….can't we just wait until tomorrow and go to a regular doctor. I'm sick of going to that emergency room Jade."

I sighed. I can't blame her. The emergency room is like our second home.

I grabbed her shirt and lifted it again to get another look. I mean…it looked sickening, but if she's more comfortable with waiting until morning, fine but that's it. Only until morning.

"First thing tomorrow morning Tori. Dr. Michaels open's at 7:00am." Tori's lucky we are off on weekends or she would definitely be going tonight.

She smiled before she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a small peck. "Good, now where were we?"

I pulled away. "Nowhere until you go to the doctor."

She crossed her arms. "Fine, it's your loss."

She was right, but I'll live. She doesn't need to be rubbing that wound up against anything and having sex….not a good idea.

I gave her a small kiss on her cheek. "Let order some dinner. I'm hungry."

She nodded. "Okay. Pizza?"

"Hell no. Chinese."

She shrugged. "Okay that's fine."

She turned to grab the phone but I grabbed her arm and turned her around to before lifting up her shirt once again.

"Baby just let me take you." I said in a begged voice.

"Jade…nooo. It'll be okay until morning!"

I sighed. I just don't like the way it looks. "Well let me put some more medicine on it and cover it back up so no more germs will get into it."

"Please don't touch it. Just let it be."

"Tori you have two options. Go to the ER now or let me fix it up until morning."

She sighed. "Okay. But please don't push down hard."

"No promises." I gave a smirk before grabbing her wrist and pulling her to the bathroom with me.

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

"Thanks for this Roxy. I had a lot of fun today. It's been so long since I could just….breathe. I felt like everything was behind me today and it's just been so long since I could just…smile. And I have you to thank for that." Shiloh said to me as we walked out of the small restaurant I took her to for dinner.

I didn't say anything. I just turned to her and gave her a small smile before opening the passenger's door for her.

She slid in before I walked over to my side and slid in as well. "Anywhere else you would like to go?" I asked with a lifted brow as I started the car.

She shook her head. "I couldn't ask anything else of you Roxy."

"It's still your birthday and the night is still young." I smiled.

She shrugged. "Want to watch a movie?"

"What movies are out?"

She shook her head. "No you've spent enough money today. Let's just watch one at your house or something."

I nodded quickly in agreement and I can't lie, I barely have any money left. I've been buying her way and her food all day along with mine. I mean I wasn't going to make her pay for anything on her birthday, that's just rude.

We finally pulled up to my house and turned the car off. She didn't make any effort to get out, she just sat there so I did the same.

"Something wrong?" I asked as I reached over and put my hand on top of hers.

"Roxy." She said in a serious voice and my heart rate increased.

"Yes?"

"What happened between you and my sister those years ago? Did you really, seriously sleep with her girlfriend?"

My breath got caught in my throat at her question. This is it, she's going to hate me now. I have to tell her the truth though. I mean…I never meant to do what I did. I was…being pushed, but still I have no excuse for my actions.

I took a breath. "You know what Shiloh." I threw my hand up slightly before letting fall back to my knee. "As much as I want to sit here and explain the whole story and try and try to get you on my side…I'm not. Yes, I slept with Stallone's girlfriend. Yes I did it behind her back. Did I do it to hurt Stallone? No. Did I do it for my own good? No. Do I regret what happened? Everyday. I understand if what I did then will have you judge me for who I am now. I was wrong. Point blank. If you feel that you can't trust me Shiloh… it's okay. I'll take you for that, but I'm still going to say this. I learn from my mistakes. I've changed over the years. I've matured. I never would ever want to hurt anyone like I hurt Stallone, and I just…I still think about that night when I almost made Stallone…take her own life. It still scares me especially because I was the cause. If there was anything I could do to take that night back and to take my stupid ass actions back I would, but I can't and now I have to live with them. It's almost like having to put you are a felon on a job application, I have to mark backstabber as my label. But just as a felon gets released from prison and tries so hard to get a job and change his life, I'm trying to move on and change mine as well. He'll always be a felon, but does that mean he will commit another crime? I'll always be labeled as a backstabber/heartbreaker, but does that mean I will ever do that again. No. It doesn't. And I won't. I never will and whether you take me for who I am or not Shiloh it won't make me stop…having these feelings that I have for you. You can run from me if you want I'll understand, but…I genuinely like you Shiloh and I would do anything in this world to make sure no one ever hurts you, especially not me. I would never hurt you in anyway and that's a promise. I've never promised anyone anything so sincere. You already mean a lot to me and I already care so much for you. I'm still not 100% on how you feel about me, and I don't want to rush you into anything. Losing Sunshine, that has to be…so hard. I have no idea what you've been feeling. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm not pulling you into a relationship with me, I just want to always be here and maybe one day when you are ready, I would love to call you my girlfriend."

I stopped babbling as I looked her in her eyes. She just stared at me with a blank expression on her face with no intentions on saying anything and the tension was just getting thicker by the second.

"God, Shiloh please say something, anything."

"…I want to go home. Take me home." She stated blankly as she turned her glare from me.

_My. Heart. Died. _

I let out a small sigh but I didn't ask why. I'm not going to ask why. It's not my business why she wants to go home.

I nodded as I started the car and started to back out of my driveway.

_Roxy if you aren't good for nothing you're good for screwing shit up!_

_You shit screwier!_

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**Thanks for reading guys! I've lost some reviewers! Where have you guys gone!? :O Come back! I miss your feedback! It's so important to me! :)**


	30. The Heart of a Warrior

**Thanks for the sweet reviews! They give me so much motivation and confidence! I'm so glad you guys like the story! Much love! *Hugs***

* * *

Chapter 30

_The Heart of a Warrior _

**[Cat's & Jade's Text]**

Unknown: Jade?

Jade: Who is this?

Unknown: Cat. I'm using someone's phone.

Jade: Oh. Yeah?

Cat: Do you hate me?

Jade:…Cat, not right now.

Cat: Do you hate me Jade?

Jade: Cat I don't hate you.

Cat: Does Tori hate me?

Jade: To be honest, yes.

Cat: (frowning emoticon) Can you please tell her that I am so sorry?

Jade: I will later. How's it going in there?

Cat: It's okay. The beds are hard and lumpy.

Jade: You'll get used to it.

Cat: Thank you for this.

Jade: Mhm.

Cat: Well this person wants their phone back. I'll do something to make things up to your family Jade. I promise.

Jade: Alright Cat. See you.

Cat: Bye.

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

The ride to Shiloh's house was silent. I hated the fact that she wouldn't talk to me. I hated the fact that I didn't know what the hell was going on in her mind. Did I say something that hurt her? Does taking her home mean she's done with me? Does she not believe a word I say? Ugh! It's eating me alive!

**DING**

I looked down and saw that my gas light had came on signaling that I was clearly on empty.

"Hey I need to stop and get gas okay?" I said as gave her a quick glance.

She didn't turn my way but just nodded as she looked out of her window.

It wasn't long until I pulled into a gas station and parked at the first pump. "Do you need anything while I'm in here?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I said as I removed myself from the car.

I walked in, quickly paid and walked right back out to the pump. I pushed the 87 before putting the nosel in and waiting patiently for the car to fill all the while Shiloh sat in the car not moving a single muscle. The pump finally clicked before I put it back into its place. I took longer than I needed to screwing the cap back on and closing the small gas door before returning to my seat in the car.

I started the car once more and started to pull off before I heard Shiloh make some kind of weird noise.

"What was that?" I asked as I was pulling out of the gas station.

"Roxy….pull over."

"Um, okay." I quickly turned into a vacant parking lot of a closed down market before turning the car off and facing her. I had no idea what she was going to say, but I already felt 50% better that she even spoke.

"What is it Shi?"

She looked down at her fingers that she played around with as she gave a small sigh. "I…I just don't know Roxy."

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know….what I want. My body, my brain, almost everything in me is telling me to move on, but my heart….it's just…lingering. It doesn't want to move on."

I just kept quiet and waited for her to continue, because knowing me, I might say the wrong words so I just nodded and grabbed her cold hand into mine.

She looked at my hand before she gave it a small squeeze. "This…" She held my hand up in hers. "I really, really want this, but it's holding me back. It's telling me no. I was…I am…I was so in love Roxy. So in love with her and I…it's just so hard so say…goodbye. I know she would want me to be happy and I know she would want me to move on, but I can't…get out of this ditch my heart is in. It's stuck. I want to move on so bad. I can't hold on to her forever, and it's like the longer I do….the more and more I feel like I can't make it another day. I need to move on and Roxy…I need you." She stopped as she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"You…you need me…how?"

"I need you to help me…move on. I want to like you Roxy. I want to maybe one day be something with you, but I just can't get passed…what my heart is stuck in. I need someone to pull it out; someone to tap it on the shoulder and say, "hey over here." Someone to help me just let go and move on and be happy about it, but….I need someone who is serious Roxy."

I nodded. "I'm serious-"

"-No games. I can't take anymore Roxy, I just can't I'm about to explode. So if you're just playing around with me, to maybe get inside my pants or just…use me for something, tell me now."

I shook my head. "Shiloh Victoria, I swear on my life baby I'm not using you." I said as I squeezed her hand tighter.

A single tear fell from her eye. "Roxy…if I do this with you….this is real. I will literally be taking a heart that's so lost, so hurt, that's so fragile, that's not ready, and I'll be handing it over to you. Can I trust you Roxanna?"

I all of a sudden felt so nervous and scared. _This…this is serious. This is a huge responsibly and maybe…maybe I'm not ready. No, I am, I can do this? I really want to love her, and take care of her. I would do anything I could to protect her heart. I want this. I want her._

"Yes. I promise you can Shiloh. I know you've been through….so much. I'm here for you. I'm not playing any games. I'm not trying to get into your pants. I like you for you; For the sweet, loving, and strong woman that you are. And I want to take care of you. I want to be that person you can run to; That person you love."

"If I can't trust you Roxy….I really don't have anyone else. I need somebody. I can't be alone. I can't take much more. I need…someone to hold my heart, because I just. Can't. Do it by myself. I can't." She said as her voice cracked and more tears fell from her eyes.

Shiloh is a fucking warrior. After all the shit she's been through I'm surprise she can still function. I know I'm so much weaker than she is, and Ii I was in her position, I'd probably would have committed suicide a long ass time ago. If I do this, I'll be dealing with the heart of a warrior and that's….she's just something…very special, very amazing and I won't let her go. I won't ever hurt her.

"It's okay." I said as I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her. "I got you."

After literally a few minutes of siting in a tight hug, I finally pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"C'mon, let's get you home." I said as I gave her a kiss on her head.

I leaned back and put my seatbelt on before I started up the car.

"I don't want to go home anymore."

I lifted a brow. "No?" I said trying to sound all cool when really I'm like this….

_OH YES! YES! YES!_

She shook her head as she dried the rest of her tears. "We can go watch the movie."

I nodded as we pulled out of the vacant parking lot and back down the street to my place.

Once we pulled into the driveway I just…I just couldn't hold it anymore. I turned the car off and before Shiloh had a chance to do anything I grabbed her face and softly but quickly smashed my lips to hers. And in the moment I did it I realized how wrong forward I was and I instantly pulled back.

She just looked at me with slightly parted lips. She didn't look mad but she damn sure didn't look happy.

"Shiloh...I didn't, I didn't mean….I just had….I'm sorry. I've fucked up already." I said as I covered my face with my hands.

_I'm just a fuck up._

I felt a soft hand go to my arm and slowly remove it from my face. I looked at her in her eyes but she didn't look me in mine as she brought her finger up to my chin and turned me to her and I just closed my eyes.

Within a second I felt very soft, loving lips against mine. Her lips moved with mine so…soft…so sweetly and I just needed…I needed her more. I very softly ran my tongue across her bottom lip and I could feel her hesitate but finally she let me inside letting out tongues crash into each overs softly and she tasted like….like red velvet cake which was a very unique taste. She let out a low, quiet moan when our tongues met and that's when I became a bit more forceful. I brought my hand up to her face so that my thumb was in front of her ear but the rest of my fingers were behind her neck pulling her softly to me and that's when her finger dropped from my chin and both of her hands rested on my upper thigh causing heat to build up at my center and I felt so guilty that I felt this way and I had to pull back.

She gave me a look as to why I stopped but I just put her hair behind her ear. "Thank you Shiloh." The words sounded dumb at the moment, but they actually made sense when you think.

"For…what?" She asked as her hand still rested on my thigh.

"For trusting me."

She gave a small smile. "Can we watch the movie now?" She asked as she set back and I nodded as I unlocked the doors.

_It's been an amazing day and I'll be damned if I can't call Shiloh my baby by the end of the night._

* * *

**[Tori's & Bailey's Text]**

Bailey: Tori?

Tori: Bailey! Hey how are you?

Bailey: I'm fine, how are you?

Tori: I'm good! Just sitting here watching a movie with Jade. What are you up to?

Bailey: Nothing much. Mom just left out. She's been really into something lately, do you know what it is?

Tori:…mm no I'm not sure? What has she been doing?

Bailey: I guess it's for my birthday, but she's been doing a lot of paper work and was on weird websites and calling people and she's so busy working on it.

Tori: Hmm, I'll talk to her about it. How's school going?

Bailey: Oh school is fine, boring as always. Well the Cow Wow dance is next Friday, and I wanted to take Marcus, but they school said the dance is only for people who go to Hollywood Arts. (frowning emoticon). So I don't know who to go with.

Tori: I'm sure someone will ask you. (smiling emoticon) How are you and Marcus?

Bailey: Oh we are great! He's such a sweetheart. I'm so glad I met him.

Tori: I'm so glad too! You guys are so cute together.

Bailey: Thanks. Is your sore better?

Tori: (frowning emoticon) No. It's really infected. I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow.

Bailey: How infected?

Tori: _**Picture Message Sent**_

Bailey: _**Picture Message Received**_

Bailey: Oh gross! Tori go to the ER!

Tori: I'm going to the doctor in the morning.

Bailey: That looks really serious! Aren't you in some kind of pain?

Tori: No, it doesn't hurt unless you touch it. Jade put medicine on it. It looked worse earlier until she cleaned it up with some peroxide and put the antibiotic ointment on it.

Bailey: Real talk Tori….go to the hospital…like tonight.

Tori: It'll be fine until morning. So you're there by yourself?

Bailey: Yeah….bored!

Tori: Go out with Marcus.

Bailey: Marcus is sleep. He's been working all day.

Tori: It's only 7:30! Go out with your friends?

Bailey: Shiloh won't answer her phone.

Tori: Oh she's out with Roxy for her birthday. Pick another friend.

Bailey: I don't have another friend.

Tori: Yes you do Bailey. What about Daren and Dyzelle?

Bailey: I don't talk to Dyzelle and Daren is just….we aren't really friends.

Tori: You don't have anyone else?

Bailey: No. But it's fine. I'll just watch a movie or something. I was just checking up on you. Finish up your night with your wife. I'll talk to you later.

Tori: Alright Bailey. I love you. I'll come see you soon okay?

Bailey: I love you too, and okay.

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**Thanks for reading! Review! ;)**


	31. One Fucked-Up Family

**Sorry guys, short chapter! :(**

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Chapter 31

_One Fucked-Up Family_

**[Roxy's POV]**

"So what would you like to watch?" I asked Shiloh as we sat in the movie room of my house.

She walked over to the movie shelf where tons of movies sat neatly in ABC order. My dad just has to have them that way.

"There's so many. Maybe I should just make a request. I'm pretty sure you'll have it." She giggled.

"What's your request?"

She put her finger to her lip as she scanned over the movies. "Do you have The Scissoring 5?"

My eyes grew wide. "You don't seem like the horror movie type." I stated as I walked over and pulled it from the shelf.

"Yeah well…there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Like what?"

She walked over and sat down on one of the leather couches in front of the screen. "You'll just have to get to know me and see."

I gave a side smile before setting up the movie.

"Want some snacks or something?" I asked once the movie was in and paused.

"Yeah sure."

I nodded as I walked passed her. I didn't have intentions on her to follow but she did anyways.

"Oh hey girls, I didn't hear you walk in?" My dad said as he stood in front of the microwave waiting for something to heat up.

"Oh we came in about 15 minutes ago. We're just going to watch a movie." I said as I opened the cabinet of snacks. "Pick some." I said to Shiloh who looked in the cabinet with wide eyes.

"Hey Shiloh, how are you?"

Shiloh took her gaze from the cabinet and turned to my dad with a mad face as if she was angry to have him ask her the question, but soon changed her expression to a soft one. "Yes, I'm fine." She stated blankly before turning back over to the cabinet.

"How's your parents?"

"Fine." She stated irritably before she started to grab a few things down.

"Everything working out with Emily?"

Shiloh dropped the things she had in her hand onto the island in the middle of the kitchen before turning her expression back into a mean one. "How do you know about that?" She asked sharply as she griped the edges of the counter.

"I…I just…wanted to know how you were doin-"

"Well that's none of your damn business!" She pointed a finger before smacking the counter and storming off leaving her snacks behind.

Dad and I both stood with shocked expressions on her outburst. That's not like Shiloh whatsoever and knew that small information my dad knew wasn't the only reason she got ticked off as much as she did.

"What…did I do?" Beck asked as he held his hands up in confusion.

I shook my head before running after her to catch her in a corner of the movie room crying her eyes out.

"Shiloh." I said softly as I bent down to her. "What's wrong?" I asked as I put a soft hand on her shoulder in which she grabbed hard and threw it off of her.

"Don't touch me!"

I took a step back at her outburst. She put her head down and started to scream at the top of her lungs as she dug her nails into her scalp.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was happening and soon enough my dad ran into the room asking what had happened and I of course didn't have a clue as to what is setting her off.

My dad bent down and tried to calm her the same way I had done, but failed as she screamed louder and hit him. She started to scream out random things like "gun, scared, Johnson, hurts, kiss, home, Cat, die, love" and it was scaring the hell out of me. She then stared to scream Tori's and Jade's name over and over. My dad just gave up and pulled out his phone and I knew he was calling her parents.

"Hello Jade, please, Shiloh's just screaming and crying I can't get her to stop! Yes…she's screaming for you guys….no she wasn't asleep, listen…here please calm her down!" My dad yelled to the phone before he tried to give it to Shiloh.

"It's Jade Shiloh! It's your mom! Here!"

Shiloh looked up at the phone before she quickly grabbed it and even over her loud crying I could hear Jade's loud mouth through the phone.

"Shiloh! Shiloh! It's okay! Baby just calm down. You're safe, everything's alright. I'm here."

Shiloh's crying started to cease but her breathing turned into panting.

"Shiloh shhhhhh, baby it's okay. Nobody's going to hurt you. Everything is going to be okay. I'll be there in 8 minutes okay? I'm on the way."

Shiloh nodded but didn't speak as she rocked back and forth and I'm just standing here like…_what the hell is happening?_

"I'll stay on the phone with you okay. Just calm down. You learned breathing exercises. Do them."

Shiloh started to do weird things with her breath as dad sat on the floor next to her. He didn't touch her and just…watched and so I did the same.

After a short time there was a knock on the door and dad left to answer it and no doubt it was Jade.

When Jade walked into the room Shiloh just literally flew into her arms.

"Shiloh…"

I could see her shivering in her arms. "I'm sorry Jade. I….I tried."

"I'm so sorry Shiloh."

"What's going on?" Beck asked as he walked over to them.

"Go wait in the living room. I'll be there in just a second. You'll be okay."

Shiloh nodded as she slowly walked away glancing back every few seconds at Jade as she walked.

"Go on, it's okay." Jade encouraged.

"Jade? What was that!?" My dad asked again.

Jade sighed as put her hand to her face. "She's just…her medication and her…it's not working."

"What medication?" I asked being nosey.

Jade gave me a _why are you even here right now_ look before answering my question.

"She is taking a new medication that's supposed to…keep her calm and collective but I guess it's not doing its job. She also takes medication for anxiety and nightmares. The anxiety meds seem to work, but the ones for her nightmares not so much."

"Why is she taking all these medications?" I asked and then realized how dumb of a question it was.

Jade shot me another look. "Step in her shoes and see if you can function without medications." She spat at me before turning to leave. "Sorry about this Beck." She said as she walked into the living room with us following behind.

She grabbed Shiloh's hand in hers before walking to the door.

"Well….bye Shiloh. Happy Birthday." I said as I looked her in her teary eyes.

She didn't say anything to me. She just looked at me with mad eyes. The same mad eyes she gave me in the hospital that night like I am her enemy. I'm just so…confused.

"Don't mind it Roxy." Jade said as she walked off of our door step.

_Who am I dealing with?_

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**[Stallone's POV]**

I walked into the front door of my house to see Tori laying on the couch asleep and I just had to do it.

I smiled before walking behind the couch and lifting it causing her to roll off and onto the floor.

"Ahhmmmm owwww." She groaned as she rubbed her eyes. She looked at herself on the floor before looking at me.

"Did I fall off the couch?"

"Yeah, were you having a bad dream?" I smiled as I hopped over the back and took a seat.

Tori stood up and rubbed her head. "No…but I have a headache." She sighed before flopping down beside me. "Wait where's Jade? When did you get here?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, and just a minute ago."

"What? Jade!" Tori called out but got no answer.

"Her car is gone. I believe she's not present." I stated as I grabbed the remote and started to flip through the channels.

"What?" She reached over and picked up her phone from the coffee table.

"Jade? Where are you…..yeah….oh my god is she okay…..awww…okay….okay….I love you too….bye."

"Where is she…wait….I don't care." I said as I stopped at a TruTV show where people are doing stupid stuff to have scars for life.

Tori sighed. "Hey where's Evelyn?"

"She fell asleep. We were in her dorm watching movies."

"You left her?"

I felt a shot of guilt run through me until I realized why I left. "She's knocked out. She took all of that medicine. I just needed to get out for a minute. I'm going back."

Tori nodded and sighed again. "How's she doing?"

"Not so well. She's so….broken hearted."

"I can't imagine. Shiloh's going through a tough time as well."

"I know." I frowned. "I don't want to talk about any of this."

Tori nodded before the front door flew open. Shiloh walked in and ran directly upstairs as Jade took her time removing her jacket and hanging her keys.

"Is she okay?" Tori asked as she stood up.

"She won't talk at all. She completely ignored me the whole ride here besides the creepy smile she gave for a slight moment."

"Creepy smile?"

"Yes, we pulled into the driveway and before she got out she turned to me and gave this…chilling freaked out smile at me."

"You think her medication needs to be changed?" Tori asked.

"Yeah, it's….making her…crazy. We'll have to deal with everything tomorrow-"

"Mommy." Jade stopped talking as we all looked up the stairs to see Shiloh standing at the top of the stairs with her arms out stretched. "Do you think I can fly?" She asked with a straight face.

"Shiloh. Stop." Jade said and Shiloh gave a creepy smile and that's when Jade sprinted up the stairs.

She quickly grabbed Shiloh. "I wasn't really going to jump Jade. If I wanted to kill myself I would just jump from my window, or cut my wrist or I could just call Cat." She spoke in a voice that wasn't hers. She made her voice sound as if she were a small child and I have to admit it gave me chills. She's crazy as fuck.

"Tori...it's definitely the medication. Throw that shit away. Now." Jade said as she held Shiloh in her arms.

I looked at Shiloh who closed her eyes before I looked at Jade who just whispered things to her before my gaze turned to Tori who was standing beside me looking as if she were ready to pass out and that's when I realized….

_My family is so fucked._

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**Thanks for reading! Please Review! :)**


	32. Nobody Deserves This

Chapter 32

_Nobody Deserves This_

**[Jade's POV]**

_**(Gagging Sounds)**_

I rolled over in our bed and opened my eyes slightly to see Shiloh laying fast asleep beside me before I drifted back off to sleep.

_**(Couching & Gagging Sounds)**_

This time I opened my eyes wider and sat up a bit to look over Shiloh to see that Tori was missing from her side of the bed. My eyes went to the cracked door of the bathroom with the bright light shining through before I removed myself from the bed.

I walked over to the bathroom and pushed opened the door to see Tori on her knees bent over the toilet throwing up what seemed like everything she's eaten in a year.

"Tori." I knelt down and put my hand to her back as she continued to gag and cough.

She finally took a breath and dropped to her butt before leaning against the cold bathroom wall.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded. "It must have been something I've eaten."

I stared her over for a minute and nodded before I grabbed her arm and help her to her feet.

"Ahh!" She yelled out before dropping to her knees and placing her hand over where her wound is located.

I my eyes widen. "What? What is it?"

"It hurts when I move." She wined and I sat her up slightly before lifting her shirt and removing the pad.

My hand went to my mouth at the revolting sight. There weren't any longer the nasty looking scab that had been trying to form but it looked as if it literally had been eaten away. There was a small gaping hole that just looked…freaking indescribably disgusting, but it scared me. So you know that's something fucking serious.

"Tori…Tori we are going to the ER! Now!"

Tori nodded as I scooped her into my arms and brought her out to our room before setting her on the bed.

"Shiloh! Get up!" I yelled as I gave her a hard shake and to my surprise she took a swing at me but missed.

"Shiloh!" This time she sat up quick as if the sky were falling. She looked around confused as I slipped Tori's shoes on her feet.

"What's…what's going on?"

"C'mon we are going to the hospital." I said as I slid on my own shoes. Shiloh shook her head with confusion still half a sleep.

I yanked the covers off of her and dragged her to the edge of the bed. "Put shoes on let's go."

"What's going on? Who's hurt?"

"Tori, her wound is…eating her."

I walked back over to Tori who held a face of pain before scooping her into my arms again and walking out of our room and down stairs with Shiloh following behind.

Shiloh slipped on her shoes that were by the door and grabbed the keys for me. She opened the door for us and closed it before locking it and proceeding to the car.

I seated Tori in the back before Shiloh and I hopped up front.

"Ahmmmmmhhmmm" Tori groaned from the back seat as I drove as fast as I could to the nearest hospital.

_Jade you're so dumb, you're so dumb! You should have taken her earlier! Ugh!_

I heard loud wheezing before I glanced over a Shiloh who had her head down with her hands on her head and her nails digging into her scalp.

I reached over and put a soft hand on her leg. "Shiloh everything's okay. It's going to be alright. Just calm down okay."

She stared to cry. "What if she's not okay!? Nobody is ever okay! What is she dies!? Oh god Jade! No!"

Tears started to fill my own eyes. I know Tori isn't going to die. That's just…it just can't happen. Not for an infected wound! That won't happen.

"Shiloh she's going to be fine! He just needs to get her wound cleaned out and we are going home. Baby it's okay."

"That's what everyone said about Sunshine! Was she fine!? No! Ughhh!" Shiloh screamed as she lifted her leg and kicked the glove box so hard it left a pretty nice dent. "We are always in a fucking hospital! Ahhh!"

Right now was not the time for Shiloh to be having an emotional breakdown. I'm trying to drive, it's raining, she's screaming, Tori's groaning and in pain, and it's just too much going on!

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!" I scream.

Shiloh instantly sat still that I couldn't even hear her breathing anymore, but Tori still kept her groaning.

"Tori's going to die." Shiloh said in a calm voice.

I glanced at her as I ran through a red light. "Shiloh! No she's not! She's fine! Just calm down please!"

"She's going to die." She stated even more calmly then she did the first time.

"Shiloh what the hell is getting in to you!?"

"I'm preparing myself." She stated breathily.

I sighed. "She's going to be fine."

"Shut the hell up Jade! I never want to hear those words again!"

"Shiloh I'm not lying to you! It's just a wound!"

She covered her ears. "La, la, la, you liar! You said Sunshine would be fine! You said it Jade! You lair! Ughhh why meeee!? I just want things to be how they use to! UHHGHH!" She scream as she kicked the glove box again.

I reached my hand over to her head and forced her to lean onto me and I just held her with one arm as I sped into the ER drive through with the other.

One hour later Shiloh, Stallone and I all sat in the small waiting room. I didn't bother to call anyone besides Stallone because I didn't really need anyone to worry.

I had Shiloh sitting in my lap with her head resting on my chest as her body shivered in my arms. All I could do was pray and pray that everything was okay.

The door finally swung open as a lady walked in with a clipboard.

"Jade West?"

"Yes!?" I said as I sat up slightly pushing Shiloh off of my lap.

"Is she okay?" Stallone asked as she stood up.

"She going to be okay, here sit back down." The nurse said as she took a seat in front of us. "Tori's wound is infected with what we call a Staph Infection. Staph Infections can be controlled and cleaned if diagnosed at an early stage. Even though Tori got a little sick, and her wound was pretty badly infected the infection didn't get into her bloodstream and that's the dangers of a Staph Infection. The doctors have cleaned her wound out but they are going to leave it open to heal. An open wound needs to be taken seriously and special care for. We will keep her tonight but when she goes home tomorrow, make sure Ms. West you follow all instructions that the doctor will tell you and Tori on how to keep it cleaned because if her wound doesn't stay cleaned it can get infected again and things might not turn out so well next time."

"Why are they leaving it open?"

"Because in condition her wound is in, and the place where it's located, it will heal easier if it was opened. So the doctors did remove the stiches she had."

I just waved my hand. I didn't want to hear anymore. "Can we see her?"

She smiled. "Yes you may. Follow me."

Once we were in the room the doctor explained the whole process of cleaning out her wound and keeping it clean. He stated how at night it can be covered but to make sure and uncover it by morning. When I asked numerous of times how she got the infection in the first place the doctor kept hesitating and then stated how some wounds just get infected.

He then started to babble about nothing so I just waved him off and sat by my wife who was sitting up with a small smile. She didn't seem to be bothered by any of this and so for that matter I won't be either. Shiloh on the other hand was devastated to see Tori back in a hospital bed. She came in crying even though Tori was sitting here telling her everything is fine. Shiloh end up scooting a chair to a far corner and sitting there with her head down and her eyes closed for the rest of the night and I didn't bother to approach her. Stallone approached her a few times but just got pushed away and really at this point I have no idea what I'm going to do with Shiloh. Her mind is all over the place I know it. We have to help Shiloh get back on her feet. I want my little girl back. The one who use to come down the stairs for breakfast every morning with a smile and a positive outlook on life. The one who had so many hopes and dreams. The one who you could run to for comfort and advice. She's just not here anymore and I'm going to…bring her back. She's still in there, I know it. We have to start a real healing process with her. No more games. I'm going to start spending as much time as I can with Shiloh and bring her back around. I need my daughter back. I'm tired of seeing her hurt and I will do anything I can to help her. I will do anything I can to protect her from ever having to go through anymore shit like this. She doesn't deserve this. Nobody does

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.

**[Bailey's POV]**

_2 Weeks Later_

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock beeping loudly in my ear. I never would usually set my alarm clock on a Saturday but today is my day. I never really cared for my birthday much because growing up my mother never really cared. So my birthday was just another day. Sometimes Tori would get me something and sing happy birthday to me, but she's not my mom you know? So it was never the same.

The only reason I'm so excited about this birthday is because this is the first birthday in my entire life that my mom seems to care about. She's been bragging on and on about a gift she has gotten me and she told me it's to die for and I'm dying to know what it is.

I quickly hop out of my bed and showered. I cleaned up my room, got dressed and did my hair and makeup before finally skipping down the hall. I caught myself mid skip before I hit the living room noticing how childlike I was being.

_I'm way more excited than I should be. _

I peeked around the corner to see if there was a huge gift on the table and to my disappointment there was not.

I walked from behind the wall and into the living room to see a card and three balloons on the couch. I was already satisfied with this. This is more than my mother has ever done for my birthday.

I reached down and opened the card that read.

_Happy 17__th __Birthday to my wonderful daughter. You mean the world to me and I'm sorry I took a hell of a lot of years to show it. I love you so so much, and Bailey hope you enjoy your special one of a kind gift._

I look into the money pocket and see a $50 dollar bill that I gave a huge smile at.

If this card, this $50 dollar bill and these balloons are my gift I'm so already thankful. Really the only thing I've ever wanted was for her to realize me. Her…just…doing this…it's the best gift I've ever gotten and I don't expect anymore.

I turned to see my mother walking out of the kitchen with three plates in her hands. She sat each plate down at a setting that was already supplied with silverware and a napkin. I didn't even know she knew how to set a perfect table, but why three?

"Hi." I said to get her attention and she looked up at me. A huge beautiful smile spread across her face before she walked over to me and grabbed me into a huge hug and oh she smelt so good.

"Happy birthday Beautiful."

Tears came to my eyes at her use of the word beautiful. And she was…she wasn't talking to herself. She was referring to me and _oh my god this feels so good._

I hugged her back so tight that she had to literally pry me off of her.

"Thank you so much mom. I love you for this. Thank you, thank you."

She smiled as she tapped the end of my nose. "I made your favorite breakfast." She turned back to the kitchen with me following behind.

She smiled at her work as I looked over the chocolate chip pancakes, cheesy scrambled eggs, fried turkey bacon, and fried hash browns.

I looked back over to her with my mouth slightly open. "How did you even know my favorite breakfast?"

Her smiled disappeared as she scratched the back of her head. "…Umm Tori..told me…it doesn't matter!" She yelled. "You have it." She said in a sweeter voice.

"And I thank you so much for all of this." I smiled at the food again. I glanced back over at the dining room table before turning back to my mother. "Why is there three table settings?"

A huge smile spread across her face before she gave me a kiss on my head.

She grabbed my hand and stood me in the living room before she stood in front of me.

"Bailey, there's a gift that I want to give you. I know…that I've been the worst mother a child could ask for and I sat down and I thought and thought what could I do to make things up to you. I know I can't make up 17 years but I really wanted to try. I searched and I searched. It wasn't easy, but I found your perfect gift and Bailey, I hope you love it."

She walked over to the door and gave it a weird bang before she turned to smile at me.

"Bailey, there's someone I want you to meet."

She opened the door slowly before a tall man, muscular, red skin Indian stepped into the house. She closed the door before she stood next to him.

_Who is this her new boyfriend? Someone she's going to promise to keep around? _

I looked the guy up and down. I mean he's pretty good looking if you ask me.

"Hi." I said to the strange guy. "Who's this? You're new boyfriend?" I stated postiviley because she's changed so much, maybe she really has found a man that is willing to keep her around.

"Yes Bailey he is my new boyfriend, but he's also something else."

I lifted a brow. "What?"

"Bailey meet Hiegio _(hi-ji-o)_." She paused before she smiled and spoke again. "He's your father."

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**Hey guys I lost a lot of my regular reviewers! Have you guys stopped reading? Are you not liking the story anymore!? Let me know! It's important! I like to know what you guys think good or bad! **

**So please, please review!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	33. You Don't Know What You're Doing

_**Guest: **__**Your updating skills are really lacking in continuity, and it's kinda pissing **__**a lot **__**of people**__** off and the chapters are getting shorter and shorter and I know for sure that's pissing me off….**_

**For those of you who agree with this review above, let me explain something to you. First off never have I ever took longer than 3 days to update. Never. I'm sorry that I go to school and that I work. I'm sorry that my life doesn't revolve around this story that I greatly do enjoy writing, but it doesn't. I update everyday for you guys 98% of the time and for you to say that I'm lacking at updating? Who are you? I literally put important things aside just so you guys can enjoy a small chapter each day. It pisses me the hell off when I get reviews and PM's of people saying stuff like that ^ telling me how it pisses them off that I missed a day. It's a privilege to be able to read this everyday okay. I really don't have to do it. I gave up a dinner date with my friends tonight just to UPDATE tonight for you!. Thank you? Maybe could be a word. I tried to ignore these people but I just can't anymore. And the only reasons my chapters have been shorter lately is because I'm trying to please people like you when really I don't have time to write at all! So when I do update you have the nerve to say that it's **_**too short!**_** Just for that I should start doing like the rest of these story writers and update like twice a week or once every month, but just for my wonderful readers that I do have (I love all you guys by the way) I will continue to update as fast as I can which is normally in the matter of 24 hours and occasionally 2-3days. SO SORRY IF I MISS A DAY OR TWO! I have things that I have to do besides write this story. Sorry for this long essay but people like you are just pissing **_**me**_** off. If you don't like how short my chapters are, or how "long" it takes me to update, then don't read my story. Don't leave me nasty PM's and reviews, it's getting on my nerves and occasionally it hurts my feelings. So just don't read. Simple as that.**

**I greatly apologize to my awesome readers. I love you guys so much for all the motivate words and reviews. I never would have written this far or for that matter found my talent without you guys. You mean so much to me. *Kisses & Hugs* Here's Chapter 33. Please enjoy.**

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Chapter 33

_You Don't Know What You're Doing_

**[Bailey's POV]**

I couldn't believe my ears. The words that came from her mouth…I just…I don't think I heard them right.

"He…what?"

"Hey baby girl." My..dad…my dad said as he held is arms open.

Tears filled my eyes as I ran into his open arms and when he wrapped his arms back around me….it felt so good. I felt a feeling that…that I never felt before. A space in my heart that's been so empty for all my life was filled within a matter of seconds and that…that's something to…be so thankful about.

During breakfast I just couldn't keep my eyes off of him I could barely even eat. He looked…he even looked like me…or I looked like him rather. Just like him. I look just like my dad. It was no doubt it was him. My mom had told me the story on how she was searching for him. She actually found him and it was a little over 1 month ago! She's been keeping him a secret; saving him for my birthday. And actually she's been going on dates with him on weekends. I always wondered who she was going with but she never told me. She claimed how she's been hiding what she was doing because she didn't want me to find out.

I just know my life couldn't get any better. I have…my family here. I have my mother, someone I never had, and I also have my dad and they are together! I have also have Marcus, a man in my life that is so in love with me and I'm so in love with him. There's nothing else that I could ever want. I'm so, so happy. I've never been more happy in my entire life.

_And let me tell you…..it feels so damn good._

* * *

**[Beck's & Cat's Text]**

_I Week Later_

Unknown: Beck?

Beck: Yes, who's this?

Unknown: Cat.

Beck: Oh Cat, hey how are you can I call?

Cat: No, this isn't my phone and there is minutes, but I'm doing fine. How's my son?

Beck: He's doing okay Cat. How have they been treating you?

Cat: They are treating me so nice here. I've been clean for three whole weeks Beck.

Beck: Cat that is so great. I'm proud of you, you know that?

Cat: But I didn't come here alone. Jade set me up.

Beck: I know that, but it's your choice whether you stay or go and the fact that you haven't left and that you are trying so hard. It makes me so proud of you.

Cat: Thank you Beck.

Beck: Are you allowed to have visitors?

Cat: Yes. Do you want to come by?

Beck: Yeah, I can stop by. When?

Cat: Can you come now?

Beck: Come now? Isn't too late?

Cat: I mean this isn't like a prison. I can have visitors when I want. I have my own space.

Beck: Okay. I can come by now if you want.

Cat: Is Kulado sleeping?

Beck: Yeah he's sleep. I can bring him by tomorrow.

Cat: Who will watch him?

Beck: Oh my daughter and Shiloh are here with him.

Cat: Okay. So I'll see you soon?

Beck: Yeah.

* * *

**[Roxy's POV]**

"Hey girls I'll be back a little later. The boys are fast asleep so try to keep it down alight?" My dad said as he put on his coat.

"Where are you going this late?" I asked.

He smiled as he walked out of the door and that sure didn't answer my question.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back just in time to see Shiloh laughing at a joke on the movie we were watching and I'm telling you her laugh sounds like an angel's.

Shiloh and I have been officially dating for two weeks. She's gotten so much better. I can tell the change in her and that the Shiloh I use to know a long time ago was coming back to surface. Her parents spend so much time with her that it's hard for me to even get a chance with her and you know we are in that "cupcake" stage so I want to spend every waking moment with her.

I never told Shiloh that I love her even though I do. I know I do. I know it's only been two weeks, but I know that I love her I just don't want to scare her with saying that so soon. There's no one like Shiloh. She's so different. So strong. I love that about her. You don't find people like her every so often and I'm so thankful I have her in my life. I'll never want to take the place of Sunshine and I know that she still hurts for her every so often. That's another reason why I don't want to tell her that I love her because maybe she doesn't really love me back. I know she's with me and all but…maybe her heart is still with Sunshine. I know she told me she was giving her heart to me, but deep down I don't believe she really has. As bad as I want to talk to her about it I feel I'll just upset her and after all the progress she's been making I don't want to back things up. She'll tell me she loves me when she's ready and she has all the time in the world. It has to be so hard for her and I will never hold anything against her.

"Want to watch another movie?" I asked as the credits started to scroll up the screen.

"I'm kind of thirsty." She said as she stretched.

I nodded. "C'mon we got juice in the fridge."

I walked to the kitchen with her following behind. "What would you like?" I asked as I opened the fridge.

She walked over and took a look at all the drinks we had before pulling out a glass bottle. "What's this?"

"Oh that's Patron. That's my dad's."

"He drinks?"

I shook my head. "Nan not really, it's like for when his guys come over and they play poker or whatever."

She gave a side smile. "Can I taste it?"

"Uhh sure?"

I closed the fridge before I grabbed a glass from the cabinet.

I opened up the bottle and poured her a small sip before handing it over.

She sniffed it before she took a tiny sip then she down the small shot.

My eyes got wide. "Dude didn't that burn!"

"A little." She shrugged as if it weren't nothing. I took a tiny bitty sip of this before and almost died! And she did that!

"Yeah right." I walked over to a drawer and pulled out a shot cup. I filled it up and slid it to her. "Yeah let me see you down that."

She shrugged and nodded. She grabbed the small shot glass and again she downed the whole thing without barely a flinch.

"Yeah right c'mon! This must be juice or something." I poured myself a small amount and sipped it before I started to gag and choke as Shiloh giggled.

"How do you do that?" I asked making myself a glass of water.

"I don't know what I did?" She laughed.

"Have you ever drank before?"

She shook her head.

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Dude you are a pro!"

"Can I have another shot?" She asked as she grabbed the bottle I left beside her on the cabinet.

"Um."

Before I had the chance to even do anything she took another shot and then started to pour herself another.

"Okay! That's enough!"

I said taking the bottle as she downed the next shot.

"Woo! That was good." She smiled.

I walked back over to her as I waved my hand. "Yeah now you smell like alcohol."

"Can I have juice?" She asked as she leaned over the cabinet and smiled.

_Oh god I hope she's not drunk from that._

I nodded before walking over to the fridge again and pulling out some apple juice. I grabbed to cups and poured us both some before handing her one. She quickly drank her whole cup of juice before setting the cup down hard. "I feel so good."

I put my hand to my face. "Yeah all them shots."

"Am I drunk?" She smiled as she tilted her head.

I shook my head. "Maybe tipsy."

She nodded. "Let's watch movies in yourrrr room." She pointed and I seconded guessed on her tipsiness. Patron will mess you up.

I nodded before I grabbed her hand and walked her to the stairs. She took her time taking each step as we walked.

We finally walked into my room and I closed the door behind us. I walked over to my bed and flopped down before setting my half empty cup next to it.

"What do you want to watch?"

She smiled as she tapped her chin pretending to think. "I don't know. Hey did you know that I lost my pearpad?" She asked as she shook her head with a huge smile.

_Definitely drunk._

"Uh..no, no I didn't based on the fact that you told me earlier that you don't have one."

"Ohh yeahhhh that's right." She pointed.

"So you can down shots like a pro but you can't control it?" I laughed.

"Psh…Idk."

"Idk? We are talking text now?" I laughed.

She came and sat down beside me. "Roxy you are so pretty."

I blushed. "Thank you. You are too."

She smiled before closing the gap between us. Her kisses are usually soft and sweet but right now her kiss was rough and demanding which caught me off guard. She jabbed her tongue into my mouth and I'm not going to lie, I like how rough she is, but damn. She taste straight like alcohol and apple juice and to be real I hate the taste.

I easily pushed her off of me. "Let's watch a movie?"

She gave me sad look. "You hate me don't you?"

_Oh my goshhhhhh why did I even give her alcohol!_

I couldn't help but smile though. "No babe. I don't hate you at all."

She took her finger and put it to my mouth before she ran her fingers across my lips. My lips involuntarily parted and she took the opportunity to slide her finger inside my mouth. I bit her finger softly before she slid it slowly out of my mouth down my chin, down my neck, over my left nipple, down my stomach, and down the center of my jeans. The biggest heat rushed through my body and straight to my center as a small feeling of pleasure rushed up my spine and I couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped my lips at the two feelings.

Shiloh met my lips again this time her kiss was soft as usual. She asked for permission inside and I granted it. Even though she still had the taste on her tongue, I loved it this time. I found myself slowly falling back onto my back as she got on top of me and straddled my hips.

Our kiss deepened as she ran her hands through my hair as my hands went to the bottom of her shirt. She broke the kiss as she sat up and removed it before reaching down and removing mine as well before our lips crashed together again.

I grabbed ahold of her before I flipped us over so that now I was on top. She wrapped her legs around my lower body making me fall onto her skin to skin. I left her lips and started to plant kisses down her neck. I found her pulse point and gave hard sucks which made her give out a louder moan and her moan brought me back to reality.

I instantly sat up and removed myself from her. "Shiloh!"

She sat up as if nothing was wrong. "What?"

"We…what…we…what are we doing!?"

She tilted her head to the side and chuckled. "Calm down Roxy, it's okay."

I ran my hands through my hair. "Duh, of course it's okay to you! You don't even know what you're doing! You're freaking drunk."

"I…am not drunk…okay?" She slurred.

I nodded. "Yeah." I reached over and threw her shirt back at her. "Put your clothes back on."

She frowned. "C'monnnn babe, it's just a little lovin'" She smiled as she sat up and put her face in the crease of my neck.

Shiloh and I never had sex before and the first time we do do it I never planned on her being drunk.

"Shiloh…I can't do this with you, not while you're under the influence. You don't know what you're doing."

"I…know exactly what I'm doing. Don't you tell me." She said as she waved her finger around.

"No. Not tonight."

"But Roxyyyy." She whispered in my ear in a seductive tone and I can't lie it turn me on.

"Don't you want this?" She said as she took my hand and placed it inside her sweat pants. Her panties were soaked and just the feel of them made me moan.

"See." She whispers as she started to slowly grind on the back of my hand.

My heart was beating out of control and she started to move her wetness along my hand harder. "Mmmmmm" She moaned in my ear and I knew my sex was dripping wet through my panties. My clit started to throb so hard that it was causing pain.

She placed her lips on mine again as she removed her hand from holding my hand on her center. I flipped my hand over as I used my finger as rub her clit through her soaking panties. "Mmm.. yesssss…." She moaned into my mouth and I just…I wouldn't stop this time. I removed my hand and pushed her down on the bed before I reached behind her and unclasped her bra.

I leaned down and latched my lips around her swollen nipple making her let out a loud moan before I started to suck and lick, but to my surprise she grabbed onto me and flipped me over so she was on top again.

She smiled before she reached behind me and undid my bra as well before yanking it off. She bent down and gave my nipple a flick with her tongue causing me to buck to her. Once she was finished pleasuring my upper half she licked her way down my stomach letting her tongue slip into my navel on the way down. She undid the button on my jeans before sliding off the bed and dragging them down with her. "Damn." She said as she took a glance at my panties that I knew had to look as if I fell in water. She grabbed the helm of my panties and started pulled them down slowly. It made a small suction sound as they left my skin and she chuckled. I was slightly embarrassed.

She crawled back onto the bed before she put her lips by my ear. "You're so beautiful Roxy."

Her words touched my heart and I just couldn't help but grab her face and smash my lips to hers. Our tongues played around with each other's softly. "Uahhhhh!" I moaned into her mouth when I felt her finger slide its way into me. She kept her kisses soft as she slowly pulled her finger out and slowly pushed it back in again, this time deeper. "Fas...faster." I begged as I pulled away from the kiss and she obeyed. She added a second finger and pushed it in slowly before removing it and jamming it back into me. She sped up as she curled her fingers inside me and the pleasure I was feeling from her was indescribable. "Mmmmmmmm SH..Shilohhhhhh! Fuckkkk yessss! Uahhhh!" I moaned as I kept my eyes closed tight. She rested her face in the crease of my neck and she sucked and licked softly while her fingers were at full speed below. She slowed down as her thumb ran over my clit. "Fuckkk!" I yelled out as I opened my eyes and lifted my head. She started to rub circles around my clit as she still fucked me hard with her fingers and how she managed to do this with one hand I have no idea but it feels so damn good! I felt my walls start to tighten around her fingers as my hips moved with the rhythm. "Fuckkk Shi baby….I'm….fuck I'm gonna cummmmm!" All of a sudden she started to moan loudly beside me and the sound of her sexy ass moans was enough to send me over the edge. Once I came down from my high she kept her fingers deep inside me and I fought the urge to grind against them. I felt a pair of wet fingers on my lips and it confused me because her fingers still sat inside me, but curious, I opened my mouth to her anyways. The taste on her fingers were something sweet and a bit bitter and I knew right off I was tasting her. She apparently was fingering herself as she brought me over and the taste and thought just made me moan.

I found her lips and started to kiss her softly. She removed her finger from me making me moan once more before I flipped her over. I took my time with Shiloh's body. I made such I gave attention to every inch of her body because I loved her. I wanted to show her that I loved her even though I haven't told her. Shiloh is beautiful. Her body is perfect. She tasted so sweet in my mouth. Her moans filled the room as her hands entangled in my hair. She came into my mouth and I took it all in. I kissed her before falling to sleep right next to her. Holding her in my arms and I found out that…

_There's nobody else on earth who I would want if it's not Shiloh Victoria West._

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**Thank you for reading. Please Review. **


	34. It Still Hurts

**Thank you guys for all the sweet, sweet reviews! You all are so supportive. I wish I could give everyone hugs! I love you guys!**

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Chapter 34

_It Still Hurts_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

I woke up to a bright sun shining into my eyes. I had a headache out of this world and couldn't remember a thing. I turned over in a bed that clearly didn't belong to me and memories of last night didn't cross my mind until I realized whose bed I was in and why my body wore no clothes.

My eyes shot opened wide as I sat straight up making the covers fall from my naked body. I quickly grabbed them and covered myself back up.

"Good Morning." Roxy smiled as she walked into the room. "I thought you'd never wake up."

"Roxy what the hell?" I asked slightly shock, slightly confused, and slightly mad.

She came and sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you remember what happened last night?"

I closed my eyes and I do remember a few things and those few things were…no…no way.

"Roxy…what…did we…did I…"

Roxy bit her lower lip and nodded.

"All the way?"

She nodded again.

"Why didn't you stop me!?" I screamed at her. I remember the shots. I know I was drunk, but I don't remember…doing this…I mean I remember, but I don't….ugh it's so hard to explain.

"I….I tried." She said with disappointing eyes.

I can't believe this. I…oh my god I had sex with Roxy! And I barely even remember it! How could she let this happen! She could have stopped me! Ugh!

"Get my clothes!"

"Shi-"

"Get them please!" I yelled as I was on the verge of tears. I don't know what I want to feel. Part of me is so angry, is so mad at Roxy for not…for not stopping me from this while the other half is so…in shock…in love and happy with the fact that I shared this…beautiful moment with her.

I watched as she walked over to her drawer and pulled out a t-shirt and basketball shorts for me. She walked back over to the bed and held them out. I grabbed them from her and watched as she just stood there.

"Are you going to turn around?" I asked.

"I mean…I've seen you Shiloh. You have nothing to hide. Let me say you are a very, very beautiful woman."

I felt myself start to blush, but I'm still….I'm still not so happy with her.

"Please just turn around."

She sighed but obeyed. I climbed out of her bed and quickly put the clothes on before she turned back around. "Are you mad at me Shiloh?"

"I thought I could trust you Roxy."

I saw tears quickly fill her eyes. "Shiloh, I swear I…I tried to stop you, but…but you wouldn't stop. I swear on everything. I didn't want to…do that with you and I told you I didn't. I told you we should stop. But you kept on going and I…I couldn't stop myself after that. And you came onto me first. I'm so sorry. Please…I screwed it up."

I sighed. And really I can't be mad at her because you know why? Now that I think…I do remember her telling me to stop. Even though I don't remember much, I do remember her telling me to put my clothes back on and that shows me that really….I can trust her. Because anyone else…they would have jumped at that chance. They wouldn't of stopped even if I asked them to or not.

I walked over to Roxy before I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me. I closed the small gap between us just for a second before I pulled back.

"You didn't. I do trust you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." She whispered back to me.

"Come on. Let's go eat something. I'm starving." She said as she grabbed my hand and I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my face at the contact.

There's something different about Roxy, something that I can't quite put my hand on. But I'll figure it out soon.

_I think she's really something special._

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**[Beck's & Cat's Phone Convo]**

_3 Weeks Later_

Cat: "Hello?"

Beck: "Hey Cat, how are you?"

Cat: "I'm doing great, how are you?"

Beck: "Everything's fine. Is the phone working okay?"

Cat: "Yes is it. Thank you so much Beck. You didn't have to buy me this."

Beck: "Nan it was nothing. Kulado wants to see you. I can bring him by a little later."

Cat: "I miss him so much. How is Evelyn?"

Beck: "You know, I haven't seen her around much lately. I'll have to give her a call."

Cat: "Can…can I call her?"

Beck: "She's your daughter Cat. Why are you asking me?"

Cat: "I think…I think she still hates me."

Beck: "You should give her a call. I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate you. I'll text you her number."

Cat: "….I miss her Beck. I miss all of my kids."

Beck: "I know Cat. Everything will be okay. Just keep taking things one step at a time. It'll all work out."

Cat: "Do you think she will talk to me?"

Beck: "I really think she might. It's worth a shot. What do you have to lose?"

Cat: "I guess you're right…..I can leave next week."

Beck: "Like go home!?"

Cat: "No, no not yet, but I can leave and come back. I mean they didn't really just let us at first, but I can start next week."

Beck: "That's really great Cat. Do you think you're ready?"

Cat: "Yes. I really do. I feel so much better."

Beck: "I'm proud of you….and um…if you aren't doing anything next week… then I would love to take you to lunch or something."

Cat: "Really?"

Beck: "Yeah, why not?"

Cat: "That would be great. I would love that."

Beck: "Alright, well I have to finish up here at work. I'll call you tonight."

Cat: "Okay. Thanks Beck. Bye."

Beck: "Bye."

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**[Jade's POV]**

**RING, RING, RING, RING**

"Hello?" I answered as I sat at my office desk.

"Hi Ms. West?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Hi Ms. West, my name is Ms. Cleveland. I'm the principal here at Hollywood arts. I'm calling on behalf of your daughter, Shiloh West."

I sighed. "What did she do now?"

"Ms. West I would really like to have you come in as soon as possible."

"Is she okay?" I asked as I put my full attention to the stranger on the phone.

"She's physically fine Ms. West, yes."

"Can this wait until school is over?"

"No Ms. West. We need you to come pick up your daughter now."

I put my hand to my face. What the hell has she done now!? "She has a car, just dismiss her, you have my permission."

"I understand Ms. West, but you need to come in. I would like to have a talk with you."

"We are talking now. Just tell me what happened."

"It's in everyone's best interested if you come in person. I don't believe Shiloh should drive home alone."

I sighed again. "Alright I'll be right there." With that I hung up.

"Is everything okay?" One of my co-workers asked as she turned to me.

I gathered my things before I stood up roughly. "It's Shiloh, she's acting out again. I just don't know…what I'm going to do with her." I said as I started to storm off.

"Good luck!"

For the past week or so Shiloh hasn't been doing anything but acting out in school. She talks anyway she wants to to her teachers, she doesn't do her work or when she does she writes or draws negative and inappropriate things, she won't act right in her plays, she's gotten into three fights…and it's just crazy because when she comes home….she's my daughter. Yes. I did get my daughter back. My Shiloh. Tori and I just been spending so much time with her and talking to her and she let out a lot of things and she's came around. But it's so crazy because she goes to school, and acts like a totally different child and when we question her about it she acts as if she's the perfect little angel at school. I told her I'm going to put my foot down. I can't keep ignoring the fact that she is doing what she wants at school, but acting all cool at home. If I keep letting her get away with that, things are going to get worst. I made it clear the next time one of her teachers call me, she's in for it and Tori agreed.

I got out of my car and stomped my way into the school that I once walked the hallways in. I busted into the principal's office with smoke coming from my ears.

Shiloh sat quietly in a chair that was put to the side as she hummed to herself quietly.

"Shiloh!"

Shiloh jumped when she heard me scream as of the rest of the people in the office.

She bit her lip but didn't speak. She knew she was in trouble.

I just shook my head.

"Ms. West? Hi, I'm Ms. Cleveland." A short cubby lady said as she reached out her hand that I didn't grab.

She nodded. "Let's have you in my office please?"

I followed Cleveland to her office after I shot Shiloh a look in which she put her head down.

Once inside I sat down in a comfortable chair as Cleveland sat across.

"Ms. West I would like to talk to you about Shiloh's behavior."

"I already know about her behavior. What happened today that was so important for you to call me in?"

She crossed her hands on her desk. "Ms. West today your daughter took a pair of scissors, held them to a boy's neck and threatened to take his life. Shiloh's teachers have notice the huge changed in Shiloh and incidents like this occur very too often. We understand Shiloh's predicament back at home, but her actions today were unacceptable. Here at Hollywood Arts threats are an automatic two week suspension, but Shiloh not only threatened the boy, she made an effort to yank the boys earring from his ear causing his earlobe to cut open and yes he had to go to the hospital. Teachers tried to call the police on Shiloh, but I didn't allow this. But let me tell you this, it is a privilege to be able to attend Hollywood Arts. Any child that doesn't keep a high GPA, want a career in performing arts, or in Shiloh's case, act's out in school can no longer be enrolled here at Hollywood Arts."

I shook my head. "So what are you saying?" I knew what she was saying. I just had to confirm.

"That your daughter Ms. West isn't following up on two main rules and after her actions today, I'm afraid that Shiloh will have to be expelled from Hollywood Arts."

My heart fell for Shiloh. She loved this school, or at least she used to. I know Shiloh is acting out for…for something. I just don't know what. I know if I can get her to her normal self she would be able to stay. Shiloh use to be a very loved student here until her life got fucked, but she's…she's back to normal….so what the hell is making her act out like she does in school?

I sighed. "Cleveland, my daughter, she's just going through a hard time-"

She nodded. "-I know, I know, but…in this case Ms. West there is no exceptions."

I bit my bottom lip before I spoke again. "What if…just let me talk to her please. If I can help her become that student she used to be would you reconsider?"

Cleveland bit her lip this time before give a huge sigh. "You talk to her. She will still be suspended for two weeks. When she returns, and if she's still acting out the way that she does. I'm afraid she will not be able to stay enrolled in this school. Understand?"

I nodded.

"Ms. West I'm doing you a huge favor. One that breaks rules that I can get in trouble for. But I remember Shiloh as a freshman. She was so bright and sweet. I have no idea what she's going through, but it has to be hard. This is the only reason I'm considering this. We would all hate to see Shiloh go, so do anything you can."

I nodded as I stood up to leave.

I walked back out into the office and I walked passed Shiloh without even a glance her way.

"Let's go." I stated as I walked out of the office and she better be following.

Once I made it to my car she was walking out of the school building. She took her time walking over as she kicked a rock on the way.

"Get your ass in the car!"

She jumped and started to speed her stroll.

She climbed into the passenger's seat. "I drove to-"

"Your car is staying here! Put your seatbelt on!" She obeyed as I sped from the school lot.

It was quiet for a long time and I didn't drive home. Instead I drove to a nearby park and parked the car underneath a shady tree before turning off the engine.

I sighed.

"Shiloh." I paused as she looked over at me but I kept my gaze at the tree. "I need a solid answer. Why are you doing the things you do at school, but you act okay at home? Please tell me why?"

She put her head down.

"Tori and I have been doing anything and everything we can for you and you've…shown so so much improvement. We never thought we would get you back but here you are. You are taking things so, so well. You are so strong Shiloh, you really are. I'm so proud that you took a step forward with your heart and allowed Roxy to love you in a way that Tori and I can't. I'm so proud that you made so much effort at home and with Emily to get yourself back onto the right track. I'm so proud that even in the deepest moment of all this you never once tried to…take your own life because Shiloh, I did believe you would, but you didn't and it shows me of how strong of a daughter I'm dealing with. You are the strongest one in this family and I'm proud to say it's a honor to have you as my daughter, but Shiloh….what's this at school? What's going on? You can tell me anything I promise I won't judge you and I won't be mad at you. You know that they are trying to kick you out of Hollywood Arts?"

She made a small gasp as I nodded.

"Tell me what' up Shi."

She sighed as she shook her head.

"No, no none of that. Speak to me."

She shrugged as tears filled her eyes. "I know it's been a little while, but….but it still hurts Jade." She said as the tears ran down her face.

I reached over and grabbed her hand in mine. "What hurts baby?"

"She's not there Jade. She's….she's the reason I'm at Hollywood Arts in the first place. She wanted me to go with her so I did….and…and now she's not…she's not even there. Do you know what it feels like to go to class and look over to your right and see a seat that use to be taken by the love of your life now taken with someone you hardly even know? I have to walk those hallways every day without her by my side. I have to walk passed her locker that's now decorated with her picture and RIP's all over it. It hurts so bad and it just makes me so mad. She didn't deserve to die Jade. She didn't do anything to anybody. She was the sweetest and most smartest person in the world and she died for what? It makes me want to hurt people; hurt people that are mean and wicked that don't deserve life. People who take life and their loved ones for granted and trust me there are so many at school. I want to kill them all. I don't care about the plays anymore, I don't care about the work. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"So you just are giving up on school?"

"Yes." She said as she wiped her tears.

"What would Sunshine think about that?"

She hiccupped at the sound of her name. "She, she would…she wouldn't like it."

"You know Sunshine is watching over you baby. She can see everything you are doing at school and I don't know what you think, but I don't think she is happy with you right now. Is that what you want?"

She shook her head. "I ..don't mean to…Jade…it's just…so hard…and it still hurts...so bad." She said through her cries.

I reached over and grabbed her into a hug as she cried into my shoulder and it just hurts my heart so bad.

"I know it hurts baby, but acting out in school isn't the way to fix things at all." I pulled her away from me as I rubber her face. "I know Sunshine is so proud of you right now Shiloh. I know she's smiling at you. But she's not going to be happy when she fins out you got kicked from her favorite school. There's people everywhere who take loved ones and even their own life for granted, but you can't…you can't hurt those people Shiloh. Everyone takes life for granted one day or another, even me, even you have."

"Acting out isn't going to fix anything. I know you don't want to get kicked from this school. I just know you don't. You are suspended for a couple of weeks and yes you still are in a bit of trouble, but when you return Shiloh, promise me….please promise me that you will do your best, and not just for me…do it for Sunshine."

She nodded as she sniffed and wiped her tears.

"Shiloh….I know it's been so log, and that you most likely forgot about it…but…I owe you an apology."

"Why?"

I shook my head. "I never apologized for what I said you on your birthday, or for the way I acted. I know lately I've been straightening up, but I've been so shity to you. I love you so, so much and I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry. I just made things harder for you and…I was so wrong. No mother should ever do that to their child, and I acted the way I did because….well there's no excuse. I love you more than I love my own life. I would die for you Shiloh and I wouldn't think twice about it. You are everything to me and I'm just…I'm sorry baby."

She gave a small smile before wrapping her arms around me tight. "It's okay mama. I love you too."

I pulled back before giving her a kiss on her head.

"C'mon let's get your car and go home."

She nodded as we both sat back and put our seatbelts on.

_I'm just so glad I have my baby girl back._

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**Hey guys I know you are wondering about Evelyn & Stallone, we will hear from them in the next chapter ;)**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	35. Forgive or Never Be Forgiven

_**Hey guys this chapter is full of Text and Phone Convos, just a head's up. :-D**_

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Chapter 35

_Forgive or Never Be Forgiven_

**[Stallone's & Roxy's Text]**

Roxy: Stallone are you and Evelyn coming by to see Kulado?

Stallone: Why?

Roxy: Shiloh left her charger over here. If you stop by I can just give it to you because you're going over there with her right?

Stallone: Why do you know my business?

Roxy: Really Stallone? Will you take it or what?

Stallone: She's your girlfriend. You take it to her.

Roxy: Why are you treating me like a bitch?

Stallone: Because you are one.

Roxy: Stallone, enough.

Stallone: I don't want you with my sister.

Roxy: It doesn't matter what you want Stallone! All that should matter is that you can see that she is happy! Does that mean anything to you?

Stallone: It means a lot to me that she's happy, but she can be happy without you. All you're going to do is break her heart and when you do Roxy, I'm going got kill you and that's a promise.

Roxy: I'm not going to hurt her! Stallone I am sorry! Okay! I am sorry! I have changed so much and you know that! You know I would never hurt Shiloh in anyway. I love her Stallone. I love her.

Stallone: You loved Essence too.

Roxy: You know what? Fuck you Stallone. I'm not going to worry about you, you be happy with Evelyn and leave me and mine alone.

Stallone: Fuck me? Fuckk meee? No fuck you! Roxanna Oliver I swear on everything you if Shiloh comes to me and she tells me that you hurt her in any mother fucking way…..you're over.

Roxy: You swear what? If anybody hurts her it's you Stallone. Stop texting me with this BS. I'm done. I told you I love her, and that's the end to it.

Stallone: I hate you.

Roxy: I could care less.

* * *

**[Evelyn's & Cat's Phone Convo]**

**RING, RING, RING, RING,**

Evelyn: "Hello?"

Cat: "Evelyn?"

Evelyn: "Who is this?"

Cat: "It…it's me, please don't hang up."

Evelyn: "…..Caterina?"

Cat: "Please don't hang up."

Evelyn: "What do you want?"

Cat: "I…I just want…I love you Evelyn."

Evelyn: "Yeah I bet."

Cat: "Evelyn….I'm sorry. I…."

Evelyn: "Cat I've been having a good day and you're not going to fuck it up. I don't want to hear your sorrys, I don't want to hear how much you love me, I don't want to hear how you've changed, I don't. Stop. I'm done with you."

Cat: _*Crying*_ "…I…..Evelyn.."

Evelyn: "Okay, bye."

Cat: "Evelyn please!"

Evelyn: "What!?"

Cat: "Evelyn I made mistake okay! I'm only human! I make mistakes! Please stop judging me! Stop ignoring me! I know I've done wrong okay! I know!"

Evelyn: "You telling me this doesn't make me feel better! It doesn't make me want to ever see you again! It doesn't bring our family back together! I'll never forget this! Ever! We all make mistakes, but your mistake is one I'll never forgive! I hate you Caterina Read! I don't want to have anything else to do with you! I wish you weren't my mother! I wish I could just….change everything but I can't! Do you have any idea what I've been through!? No! And it's all your fault! Fuck you Caterina! Never contact me again! Ever!"

**CLICK.**

* * *

**[Evelyn's POV]**

I walked into Stallone's parent's house behind Stallone.

"Hey I'm going to take a quick shower okay."

I just nodded.

"You've been acting kind of weird are you alright?" She asked as she put her hand on my back.

I nodded, but really I wasn't alright. The conversation with my mom this morning has just brought me down. I told myself not to let her mess up my day but she did anyways, but I really don't feel like talking to Stallone about it right now.

She gave me a kiss on my head before she sprinted up the stairs.

"Yes….she's okay right….I just walked in….alright….okay….I love you too Jade…bye." Tori stated as she walked through the door on her cell phone.

"Oh hey there Evelyn." She said as she kicked the door closed with her foot.

I smiled as I walked over and took some of the many bags she had in her hand from her before we walked to the kitchen.

"Thanks. How have you been?" She asked as she started to put the groceries away.

I took a seat at one of the high chairs as I gave a sigh. "I've been fine."

"You don't sound fine? What's wrong? Where's Stallone?"

"She upstairs taking a shower." I stated ignoring her other question.

"How are you guys doing?"

"We are fine."

Tori was quiet as she finished putting up the groceries before she came and sat down across from me.

"What's bothering you?" She said in a sincere voice as she crossed her hands on the counter.

I shrugged as I looked away.

"Evelyn, I'm so proud of you. You've come a long way."

I sighed. "Yeah."

"What happened? You can talk to me about anything. I'm always here for you."

I nodded. She is always here for me. She's like my mom and….I can't…walk away from her. I have to talk to her.

"It's just….my mom…she called me today."

I watched as Tori's face turned slightly red and I had no idea what that meant because her face was blank.

"And…what…what happened? What did she say?"

"She just, same old stuff. She's apologizing, saying she loves me and what not, but it's crap. I don't want to hear it."

A huge sigh came from Tori before she reached over and grabbed my hands. "I'm not a huge fan of what your mother has done either, but Jade has taught me something. She's taught me to forgive. As many times as I told myself I wouldn't forgive her for what she did to my daughter, and for what she did to me….I did. That doesn't mean I'm her best friend now, and that doesn't mean I'm talking to her, but it just means I forgave her."

"Evelyn, this may not make much since to you, but sometimes you have to forgive to move on and be happy with your own life. Correct me if I'm wrong, you think about your mother everyday, and you tell yourself over and over how much you hate her and how much you never want to see her again right?"

Tears filled my eyes as I nodded.

"We all make mistakes. Sometimes small, sometimes huge. Nobody is perfect Evelyn, nobody, but if you are wise, you learn from your mistakes. Here let me say this, would you ever want to be judged yes or no?"

I shook my head.

"If you judge you will be judged. If you don't forgive you will never be forgiven. Listen to what your mother has to say and truly listen. Take in everything and when she's done, forgive her. You don't have to forgive her for her, but forgive for you. And that's something that I had to do. Sometimes, Evelyn, we get trapped into this…ball. And all you can see and hear is your mother and you say you hate her, you hater her, over and over again all day everyday, but when you forgive her, that ball will open and you will be free from all those voices and thoughts and feelings of hatred that are eating you alive."

"Okay maybe I sound crazy, and maybe I'm not good at explaining what I'm trying to say, but you can understand this. Listen to your mother, don't shut her out anymore. And yes you are hearing this from someone who has done that. I've shut Cat out. I hated her. I didn't want to have anything else to do with her, but…I just learned it's better to forgive, because I wouldn't want someone doing me the same way. Remember she's your mom Evelyn. She loves you more than anything and I know she does. I know it's hard, and I know it hurts, but we have visited Cat a couple times and she's clean now. She's hurt so bad though. She never meant to hurt you guys. You and Kulado mean the world to her and Evelyn, you should give her a minute to talk with you. And maybe…even give her a second chance. You're all she has."

Even though my eyes are filled with tears I didn't let them fall.

_How could I give her another chance? I just…I'm so…lost. Hurt. I don't know…I can…no I can't stand that woman! I just can't! Or maybe I can…..maybe._

I sighed.

" I don't know Tori…I-"

"-owe it to her."

I snatched my hands away from her. "I don't owe her anything!"

"She's your mother Evelyn, you owe her your life."

I just closed my eyes tight. Maybe If I keep them like this then everything will disappear. The whole situation, me, everything. But I know it's not. I know when I open my eyes everything will be exactly the same as they were before I made darkness.

I sighed.

_But nobody can make me open them again…._

* * *

**[Jade's & Cat's Text]**

Cat: Jadey.

Jade: Stop calling me that!

Cat: I'm sorry. Jade?

Jade: What is it Cat?

Cat: Can you please come get me?

Jade: No why?

Cat: Because I just need one day away! Please! They said I can go if you get me.

Jade: You can leave when you want.

Cat: Jade no! If we walk out we can't come back! And you know that. I just need to get out. Please?

Jade: Cat you will be able to get out next week. You've been there all this time you can wait until then.

Cat: Jade. Please.

Jade: (sighing emoticon) I'll have to talk to my wife.

Cat: Tori?

Jade: No Cat, Squidward Tentacles.

Cat: (gasping emotion) But Squidward is a guy so wouldn't that mean your husband?

Jade: (self-slapping emoticon)

Cat: Whatie?

Jade: I'll talk to Tori about getting you. I'll talk to you later or something. Bye.

Cat: Wait, how is Shiloh?

Jade: She's fine.

Cat: Can you please tell her I'm sorry.

Jade: No. You tell her.

Cat: How?

Jade: _(555) 555-5555 _

Cat: You're really going to let me talk to her?

Jade: I'm not letting you do anything. It's up to Shiloh.

Cat: Thank you Jade.

Jade: Whatever. I'll ttyl or something. Bye.

Cat: Bye.

* * *

**[Tori's & Bailey's Text]**

Tori: Bailey?

Bailey: Hey Tori how are you!?

Tori: You seem excited lol. I'm fine how are you Bumble Bee?

Bailey: I'm so great! I love my father Tori! I love him so much! He is so great! I still can't believe he is here!

Tori: Lol calm down. I'm so happy for you. I'm so glad that you are so happy.

Bailey: I am, I'm so so happy! Tori I never thought…I could feel this way.

Tori: I love you.

Bailey: I love you too Tori. Thank you for everything.

Tori: I haven't done anything lol.

Bailey: Yes you have. Thank you for being there for me all those years when I felt I didn't have anybody.

Tori: Aww baby you're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. I love you so much.

Bailey: How are Shiloh and Stallone doing? I haven't talked to them in so long.

Tori: They are fine. Shiloh has gotten back onto her feet.

Bailey: That is so good. How is Jade?

Tori: She's still Jade.

Bailey: Cat?

Tori: Cat is doing really well. She's been clean for a while now. I never thought I would be happy for her, but really, I'm glad she's gotten back to her feet as well.

Bailey: I'm glad everyone is doing okay, but I'm with my dad right now. I will call you later okay?

Tori: (smiling emoticon) Okay sweetie. Have a good time. Love you.

Bailey: I love you.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please Review!**


	36. Luck is Never on Our Side

**Hey guys sorry this chapter is on the short side, but it's been a long day and I'm tired. But I had to get this up for you guys so I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 36

_Luck is Never on Our Side_

**[Stallone's POV]**

I hopped out of the shower to my phone ringing loudly. I grabbed a towel and wrapped myself in it before retrieving my phone.

"Speak." I said as I hit the speaker button.

"Yoooo bitchhh, do I not exist anymore!?"

I rolled my eyes playfully at the loud high pitched voice coming from my phone.

"Yes, Jaylen?"

"Yes what hoe? For real what have you been up to!?" She screamed.

"Will you hush!? Nothing."

"Let's hit up Karaoke tonight!"

"Realllyyy? I haven't been there in forever and I can't tonight. I'm going to be with Evelyn."

"Well then next weekend bitch!"

"Dude chill."

"Get yo ass out, and bring little buddy too."

"Little buddy, does she not have a name?"

"Evelyn, sorry. How's she doing by the way since Sunshine and all?"

"She's gotten back on her feet. She's doing okay."

"Well that's good. But real muhfuh talk, let's go?"

I sighed. I mean I didn't have nothing planed for next weekend so why not? "Alright. What time?"

"7:00pm in this bitch!"

"Stop cussing so much!"

"I get it from my mama!"

"Your mama's been in jail for the past 8 years!"

"My point exactly. Don't be late!" With that the line went dead. And I rolled my eyes knowing good and well she'll be the main one late.

I finished getting dried off and dressed before leaving the stuffy bathroom and into my room where I curled my hair in my mirror.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Yeah?" I yelled out before she door cracked opened a bit and Tori stuck her head through the door.

"Hey Stallone." She said before she walked in all the way.

"What up?"

Tori shut the door behind her before she walked over and took a seat on my bed. "How are you?"

I shrugged as I fixed one of my curls and moved onto the next.

"Really Stallone, how have you been?"

"I've been fine Tori." I stated absent-mindedly.

She stood up and walked over behind me before she put her hands on my shoulder. "I love you baby."

_C'mon with the mushy stuff…._

"Yeah, yeah I love you too Tori."

She gripped my shoulders tightly before roughly swinging me around so that I was looking her in her eyes. And I had to admit she caught me off guard and I was a little….just a little frightened.

"What?" I asked as I took a step back.

"You are ignoring me. I'm talking to you." She said in a stern but sweet voice.

I crossed my arms. "Tori I know you love me. I love you too."

"You just….never talk to me anymore. I have no idea what's going on in your life or anything. We should go on a date."

_Ughhh. I don't want toooooooo!_

"Sure Tori, whatever you want."

"Tomorrow at 12 noon?"

I sighed. "Yeah sure."

I turned to finish up my hair before she stopped me from turning around. She leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek before rubbing my cheek softly with the back of her hand. She didn't look me in my eyes, but she looked a bit sad/worried before she walked away.

I looked in the mirror and sighed again as I blew my side bang up in the air.

I mean I haven't talked to Tori in a while, but damn, she hasn't missed anything. I have nothing to talk about. There's nothing new to tell her.

_But she'll find something to make me talk about….._

* * *

**[Tori's POV]**

I walked downstairs just in time to see Jade and Shiloh walk through the door.

Shiloh walked over to the stairs about to sprint up to her room before I stood in front of her and lifted a brow.

"I'm sorry Tori." She said before she put her head down.

"She's still grounded for a week." Jade said as she hung her coat.

I stepped out of the way so Shiloh could finish her sprint up the stairs. "I'll be up to talk with you later." I called after her.

"So what happened?"

"We'll talk about it later. I have a headache." Jade said before she leaned down and gave me a quick peck on my lips.

"Oh, hey Evelyn. I didn't see you there." Jade said as she walked passed her and into the kitchen.

"Stallone should be down soon. She's just doing her hair." I stated to Evelyn who sat on the couch watching T.V. before I followed behind Jade to the kitchen.

I watched as Jade made her a cup of coffee as I sat at the kitchen table.

"Kind of late for coffee babe don't you think?" I chuckled.

"It's never too late for coffee." She stated before she came to join me at the table.

"How was work?" She asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Same as always, nothing new. What about you?"

She shrugged. "Boring….we sound like an old couple."

I laughed. "Well we are getting there."

"We aren't old!"

I laughed again at how offended she was before the room fell silent again. She put her cup down and started to play around with the edges and I knew something was on her mind.

"What's wrong babe?" I asked as I sat my hands on the table.

She remained quiet for a little while longer before she spoke. "Well….I talked to Cat earlier."

Even though I forced myself to forgive Cat, something about her name just….makes me so…upset. Mad. Angry, but I force those feelings aside.

"And?" I lifted a brow.

"She's begging to get out for a while. I guess to…I don't know. She just wants to get out."

"Get out of rehab?"

"No, no, like she just needs to get away for a minute. Take a break. But the only way she can leave is if it's with me since I signed her up."

"And what did you tell her? That you would?" I asked knowing she had had to. She never asked me anything anymore.

"No." She looked down. "I told her I needed to talk to my wife about it."

A smile side smile crept upon my face. I'm so happy she actually choose to make a decision with me this time but really it's something she should have been doing since we've gotten married. I mean of course we've made decisions together throughout our marriage, but Jade is all about making decisions without notifying me first and that really started to agitate me so much.

"So what do you think?" She asked since I didn't bother to say anything.

Really, what do I think about that? Going to pick up Cat? And do what? Take her to dinner? That means I have to stare her in the face all night!

_Tori take a breath. Remember, forgiveness. Cat's….been through a lot okay. But….Ughh I'm still mad at her but…I have to forgive right? I sat there and told Evelyn all that crap that I almost didn't believe myself, but…I have to do this. Deep, deep and I mean really deep down, Cat Valentine is in there. Not Cat Read, not Cat the drugie, not Cat "I'm clean" but Cat Valentine. My best friend. Maybe….maybe I can find that in her again. Maybe I can pull that out? What…Tori who are you kidding you can't pull-_

"Tori?" Jade said interrupting my thoughts. "So?" She lifted a brow.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes. "Uahh yeah, sure. Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, but really I wasn't.

Jade nodded as if it were nothing before she sipped her coffee once more and I really hope I didn't make a bad decision by agreeing to this.

_Because luck is never on our side….._

* * *

**[Shiloh's POV]**

I opened my door before looking up and down the hallway to make sure my parents weren't around before I sped down to Stallone's room. I saw her car, I know she's here.

**KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Stallone." I whispered through the door trying not to be heard by my parents because really, I'm not supposed to leave my room.

Her door swung open before she looked at me with mad eyes. "What?"

"Roxy said you got my charger? Do you have it?"

She sighed before she turned around and walked over to her bed. She grabbed her bag and pulled out my charger before walking back over to the door and handing it to me.

I took it before I sighed. "Why do you hate us so much?"

She gave me an even meaner look. "I don't hate you."

"You hate that I'm happy."

"No I don't-"

"-Then why do you keep saying those nasty things to Roxy?"

She sighed loudly. "I just don't want her to hurt you is all. Shiloh there are plenty more fish in the sea. Why don't you explore more and find someone el-"

"-Stop." I said as I held my hand up. "Who are you to tell me?"

"Stallone listen, I've done some research and I've found so many nice girls that would love to talk to you. Maybe you can get married and have kids with them or something."

I looked at her with disgust. I couldn't believe what she was saying. No she didn't just…..plan my life out.

"Stallone are you crazy?"

"No. I'm not. Are you!? I don't want to see you hurt. Just listen to me and you'll be fine."

I shook my head.

"Shiloh, Roxy isn't the one for you! Understand that she's just going to break your fucking heart!"

"I disagree."

"I disagree with you!" She yelled back.

"Who cares what you think Stallone!? At the end of the day it's my life not yours! How are you going to be this sister you claim you are going to be but not even see that I am happy!? I know you don't want me to get hurt, but Stallone listen to me! She has changed! I know she sincerely likes me and I like her too! I am truly happy with her and if anything you should be supportive of me and be happy for me too, but no you're not because I forgot that you are Stallone Joyce West!"

"But Shiloh I just-"

"I don't care! Save it!" I yelled before speeding back down to my room and slamming my door.

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys! Please, please, please review! I'm so close to 300! You guys are awesome! ;)**


	37. I Love Myself…So Much

Chapter 37

_I Love Myself…So Much_

**[Jade's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Hold on one minute!" Cat yelled back as Tori and I stood outside of her small room.

The door finally swung open as Cat stood in the door way with a flower dress on.

"Cat its winter. It might be California but it's still kind of chilly outside. Put on something worth wearing." I stated nonchalantly as I pushed her aside and into her small room with Tori close behind.

She closed the door before walking over to a single dresser that sat in the corner. She pulled out a pair of booty shorts. "How about these?"

"Cat."

"Okay, okay." She stated sadly as she pulled out a pair of jeans. I never even knew Cat owned a pair of jeans.

I turned to Tori who just kept quiet. I knew she didn't want to be here, but she forced herself to come. She started to scratch the palm of her hand before I stopped her. I don't want her to be nervous about anything. I'm here.

I just so happened to glance over at Cat at the moment she was sliding her jeans up and my eyes widened at the sight.

Her thighs were covered in large red marks and scratches and I had to say it hurt just from looking at them.

"Cat! What happened?" I asked as I stood up and walked over to her to get a better look at the huge scars and scratches all over her thighs and legs.

She looked up at me with said eyes as she continued to pull her pants up in which I could tell caused her pain.

"What happened? Did someone do that to you?"

She nodded as tears came to her eyes and I…I kind of felt bad for her. I mean here she is trying to get back on her feet and Lord knows she's trying and someone is hurting her? Who has the nerve?

"Who did that? Someone here?"

She shook her head. "No. No one here did it."

I crossed my arms. "Then who did it Cat, you?"

"You did Jade." She said in a sad voice.

"What?" I heard Tori say from behind me and I damn sure was asking the same question.

"What do you mean I did that?" I asked as I uncrossed my arms and let them fall to my sides. "I never touched you there."

"No. It happened when you were dragging me across the concrete that day? You remember Jade?" She asked as she put her head down.

I heard Tori stand from the bed. "What? When were you dragging her across concrete?"

I instantly felt so much gilt and why, I don't know. Cat deserved what I did to her….didn't she? Why do I feel this way? I didn't mean….fuck yes I did. I did mean to hurt her! She put a gun to my baby's head! She deserved that!

"Jade?" Tori called out madly since I didn't answer her the first time.

"I already told you Tori. I told you I beat the crap out of her and you said_…"am I supposed to believe that?" _." I said in a southern girl accent, the one she always hated.

"I don't talk like that! And this isn't funny!" She stomped a foot.

Coming to get Cat was a bad idea from the start. Tori's already worked up and we haven't even left yet. She hasn't even said one word to her yet!

"Stop!" I yelled out just for my own reasons. "Drop it, let's go." I said before I reached over and opened the door and stormed out.

Once Cat was signed out and in my custody for the next few hours we just decided the best thing to do was go to dinner.

We went to an inexpensive restaurant and sat in a booth close to a window. The restaurant was pretty dark and peaceful, and I hope this just goes well.

"Thank you." Cat said breaking the silence that sat among us. She sat on the opposite side of the table than of Tori and I.

I took a sip of my drink. "How's it going in there?"

She gave a small smile. "They are so nice to us. It's been going really well. And oh they even have ice-cream machines!"

"Sounds good Cat. You look a lot healthier." I said.

She nodded. "I do feel a lot better."

Silence fell among us again before she broke the silence. "How's Evelyn?"

Tori looked over at her when she mentioned her daughter's name. "Evelyn is doing okay. You need to talk to her." Tori said as her hand found mine under the table.

"I tried Tori. She won't listen to me."

"She'll call you soon." Tori reassured and I just looked at her with questionable eyes.

_How the hell does she know what Evelyn will do?_

Cat just looked down. "I….I wish I could start over." She looked up at us with teary eyes. "I wish I could just take everything back. I swear I didn't mean do anything I've done. I never meant to leave my family. I love them more than I love anything. I promise Jade, I promise Tori I never intentionally did any of this to my family. Daniel….I couldn't stop him." She said as she put her hands to her face and started to cry hard.

"Daniel did what Cat?"

"He pushed me into drugs. He sold them, and I didn't find out until close before he started to turn me to them. He gave me shots when I told him don't. He beat me and slapped me around. He told me he wanted me to be his "money maker". He told me I wasn't worth anything to him. I was trash. I loved him Jade. And he treated me like he did. He's never done that to me before, ever! I couldn't stop the feeling that kept coming back from the drugs and he gave them to me no matter what I said or not. I end up becoming addicted. I wanted them more and more, and I abandoned my family Tori. I never meant for that to happen! I loved my family! I love my family! I love them so much!"

She got quiet for a minute before she spoke again.

"There's not a day, an hour, a minute, a second that goes by where I don't think about my baby, my Sunshine. I miss her so much Jade. It hurts so much Tori. I…." She looked at us and shook her head as more tears streamed from her eyes. I could tell she was just….at a loss for words and I couldn't stop the tears that started to fill my eyes.

"Guys….just….I'm sorry for what I did to Shiloh. I always will be. I….I wasn't…I wasn't thinking. There's….no. Guys….just, cherish your children. Tell them you love them everyday. Spend as much time as you can with them because…you just don't know when…when they'll be gone."

I couldn't hold the tears that filled my eyes anymore. I can't, if someone called me and told me that Shiloh or Stallone…is….gone. I would literally drop dead. I don't even know how she can sit here and deal with all this. Deal with losing her husband, deal with losing her daughter, deal with losing her family, deal with everyone just hating her, deal with this all. And I had the nerve to….beat her. Ughh. I just want everything to be over and done.

Tori hit me on my thigh letting me know she wanted me to get up so she could slide out and I did. I watched as she slid out of the booth and walked over to Cat. She grabbed her arm and pulled her up into a tight hug as she cried with her. I looked around the small restaurant and saw many eyes on us.

"C'mon let's just go." I said as I reached into my purse and pulled out a $5. I threw it on the table for our drinks before heading to the door with Cat and my wife following behind.

* * *

**[Bailey's POV]**

"Pick one." My dad said as he held cards out in front of me. "Don't let me see it."

I smiled as I looked at the cards before picking one and holding it close to my chest.

He took the cards shuffled them then held them out to me again. "Put it back." He said as he turned away. I easily slid the card back into the middle of the pile.

He shuffled them up. "You ready?"

I smiled and nodded.

He took the cards held them up flinged all of them onto the floor before he bent down and tapped my foot. "Lift." He said and I did and to my surprise there was a card right underneath my foot.

He grabbed the card and handed it to me. "Was that your card?"

I flipped the card over in amazement because it was indeed my card. "Oh my gosh! How did you do that!?" I asked excitedly as if I were a small child.

"I'll teach you later." He laughed.

I just….love, love, love, love, love, love I can't say it enough. I love my dad. He's so…amazing! He can do everything! Write, sing, dance, do magic, act, everything! He's so talented! He took me out to lunch today and god I just….it was amazing. One of the best days of my life. He explained to me how he had a dream he had a daughter, and he said it was so real, but he knew he didn't. He's been living single in Nevada for the past 18 years. He said he remembers the night with my mom. He said they were young and stupid. He also apologized for not being here my whole life, and that he wishes he could have seen me growing up, but it's not his fault. I never told him how neglected I was growing up with my mother. He thinks Trina is such a great mother, and right now she is. I'm not going to bring up her past because I can truly see she is trying to move on from it. I can see she is genuinely trying to do better. So for me to bring the negative side of her might make him judge her. And I don't want any of that.

I never in a million yeas would have thought my mother would do something like this…for me. Just for me. She's 100% proven she's real about wanting to make things up; about being my mother. I love her so much and I love my dad so much and I love Marcus so much and for the first time in my life…

_I love myself….so much._

* * *

**[Shiloh's & Roxy's Text]**

Roxy: Hey.

Shiloh: Hi (frowning emoticon)

Roxy: (frowning emoticon) What's wrong Angel?

Shiloh: Stallone is what's wrong.

Roxy: Is she telling you not to be with me?

Shiloh: She told me she "searched" for some people. She practically is trying to hook me up with someone she doesn't even know telling me I can have kids with them and bullshit! Does she not understand that everything is fine, that I'm happy? Everything is not about her! Who is she to plan out my life!?

Roxy: She did that!? She's lost her mind. I mean I understand why she doesn't trust me, but…I've changed. I'm just not that person I used to be and she just really thinks I'm going to hurt you, but I promise you baby I won't.

Shiloh: I know you won't Roxanna. I trust you.

Roxy: Thank you Shiloh, that means a lot to me. Stallone just needs to step down….anyways, how are you?

Shiloh: I'm fine, and you?

Roxy: Bored. What are you doing?

Shiloh: Sitting here in my room. I'm grounded.

Roxy: You? Grounded!? What did you do?

Shiloh: mmmm…..nothing…..

Roxy: (brow lifting emoticon)

Shiloh: Okay I…got suspended from school….

Roxy: Why?

Shiloh: I put some scissors to a boys neck…and pulled out his earring.

Roxy: What!? Why!?

Shiloh: He…was talking about Sunshine Roxy.

Roxy: Saying what!?

Shiloh: He was just saying how, she didn't deserve to be at that school anyways and…just stiff I don't want to repeat.

Roxy: Are you fucking serious!?

Shiloh: Yes Roxy.

Roxy: I'm really sorry baby. Don't mind that mother fucker, he's just a bitch. Do you want me to come over? Do you need me?

Shiloh: I can't I'll get in trouble.

Roxy: Well just blame everything on me. I'm on the way.

Shiloh: Okay and Roxy?

Roxy: Yes babe?

Shiloh:…..nvm.

Roxy: What is it?

Shiloh: It's too much to say in a text message. I'll just wait until I see you.

Roxy: Okay. Be there soon.

* * *

**Hey guys thanks for reading! Please review! I've lost you guys! I know the book is long but hang in there with me we don't have much longer! ;)**


	38. Love

Chapter 38

_Love_

**[Roxy's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

I took a step back as I waited for someone to answer the door and I didn't have to wait long. The door swung open to a stunning Shiloh. She had her dark hair that was turning back to its brunette color up into a high loose ponytail. Her clothes were loose with her shirt hanging off one shoulder and her sweat pants tucked loosely into UGG Boots. Her eyes wore reading glasses while her crystal blues looked me directly in my own.

"Did you have fun?" She asked amused as she stepped out of the way to let me in.

"Have fun doing what?" I asked confusedly.

She closed the door. "Checking me out." She smiled as she walked passed me and up the stairs.

"I wasn't." I defended as I started to run up the stairs after her.

"Sure you weren't." She said as we reached her room.

I closed the door behind me and the moment I turned around her arms went around my waist pulling me to her closing the gap between us. I grabbed her arms from my waist and put them around my neck before I put my hands to her waist as our kiss deepened. She then removed her arms from my neck and grabbed my arms and put them around her neck while hers went to my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a smile as I pulled back.

"I wear the pants in this relationship." Shiloh stated as she crossed her arms.

I lifted a brow. "Oh you do do you?"

She nodded as I shook my head. "I think I do."

"I think you don't." She stated as she tried to continue our make-out session but I stepped back.

"Seriously, I do."

"Why?" She asked as she tilted her head.

"Because I want to take care of you, Shiloh."

She shook her head. "I don't like being taken care of. I want to take care of you."

"Is that how it was with you and Sunshine?" I asked but immediately wish I could have taken my words back because her whole demeanor changed.

She sighed as she walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge. "Yeah."

I walked over and sat down beside her. "Do you want to talk about her?" I asked as I put my hand on her knee.

She looked behind her before she reached and grabbed a pink teddy bear that read Ke'Mo across the chest. I remember the bear. It was Sunshine's bear, she always held onto that thing. She just loved it.

I watched as Shiloh played around with its nose before she finally spoke. "I remember the first time Sunshine told me she had feelings for me. I was in the hospital and she was actually texting me." She chuckled before she continued. "She sent this text to me, it said, _roses are red, the night time is black, if you just give me a chance, I promise I'd make you love me back." _Shiloh paused as she looked down and smiled at the bear." It was the cutest thing ever, and it was crazy because she kissed me the night before out of nowhere!" She had a huge smile on her face and I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"That's really cute Shiloh. How was your relationship with her?"

Her smile turned into a small one. "We….everything was just perfect." She said as she looked off into space. "We never had any altercations or disagreements. I took care of her the best that I could. She was just so sweet and so caring of everybody and of everything. We really loved each other." Her gaze went back to the bear she held. "She just….she got so sick, so quick and I…didn't even, I didn't notice how sick she was." She paused for a moment before she continued. "I remember Jade told me she's in the hospital while I was still at school and once I got there…they told me it was cancer. I can't even explain the feeling that went through me at the news." I watched as tears filled her eyes. She looked up to keep them from falling and I just wrapped my arms around her waist. "Days went by and, she seemed to have been getting better, or that's what she told us at least." She paused again.

"Shiloh you don't have to say anymore." I said as I held her tight.

She shook her head and wiped her eyes before tears could fall and continued anyways. "I was sitting in class, Trina's class at that when Jade texted me. She ah, she asked me if I was going to the hospital after school and of course I was you know, the love of my life is there, I go every day, why would you ask me that? She then told me to come home first and….and I…why? Why would I come home first?" This time Shiloh couldn't stop the tear that escaped her eye. "I texted Sunshine…she never texted me back and my heart dropped. I sped home breaking any and all traffic rules. I walked into the house and everybody was there. I knew…I knew what happened but….I didn't want to believe it you know?" She sniffed as she wiped her tears. "Jade walked over to me and…she told me Sunshine went to sleep that night but she….she never woke up." She said as her voice cracked.

Shiloh turned around to me as tears fell down her eyes. "She was everything to me Roxanna. Everything. I knew she was going to be the one I married, I knew she was going to be the mother of my children. I knew we were going to grow old and die together and….it's not going to happen." She hiccupped as she cried harder.

I wrapped both of my arms around her tight as she cried into my shoulder. I was at loss for words. I'm not a good advice of comforter word giver. I can hold her. And I can love her as much as I can, but I'm not enough. I can't take away that pain I know is eating her alive. I just wish I could.

"I'm so sorry Shiloh."

She sniffed before she pulled away from me. She wiped her tears and quickly pulled herself together. "It's okay Roxy, I mean it's not your fault. Things happen, you know it's life."

She grabbed my hand before she looked me into my eyes. "Roxy I never just truly sat down and thanked you for being here for me this whole time; for being by my side through all of this. You are a sweetheart. You were the only person who treated me like me. And I know that probably doesn't make much since, but it does to me and that's all that matters."

She looked down before she met my eyes again.

"There's something I really want to tell you, but I couldn't text it because it's was too much to say in one text."

I wiped a tear that left my eye. "What is it Shi?"

"I…" She looked away before she met my eyes again. "I love you Roxy."

Her words went straight to my heart. I mean after telling me all this about Sunshine, she still sat here and told me that she loves me. And really I was so caught into what she said I didn't notice how quiet I was until she told me to say something because the silence was killer her.

I nodded. "I love you….I love you too Shiloh, so much. I always have and I always will."

She gave a sad smile before she captured her lips with mine and at this moment I felt a stronger love than I ever have had with anybody in my entire life.

_And it has to be true love…._

* * *

**[Jade's POV]**

"Ughhh long day." Tori said as she walked in the house and flopped down on the couch after taking Cat back to her "home."

I closed the door and hung up my jacket. "Yeah Shiloh has a little friend over." I stated as I turned to Tori and crossed my arms.

"What?"

"Roxy's car is in the driveway. Did you not see it?"

"No…I didn't."

I rolled my eyes before I walked up the stairs. I made my way down to Shiloh's room and put my ear to her door. To my surprise I heard nothing. I mean…you would think if your girlfriend is over and your parents aren't home…you would be…yeah, whatever.

I turned the doorknob slowly before pushing the door open slightly. I peeked inside to see Shiloh wrapped up in Roxy's arms as they both slept soundly before closing the door softly again. I can't even be mad at Shiloh for having her over when she knows she isn't supposed to. She seems happy and that's all I ever want for her.

I turned to see Tori standing right in front of me before she grabbed my hand gently and led me to our room. She didn't say a word as she closed the door behind her before she wrapped her arms around my neck and captured me into a kiss. She slowly pushed me back to the bed in which the back of my knees hit the edge which made me fall softly with her falling on top. I scooted my way to the center of our bed not once breaking the kiss that was now nothing but tongue.

20 minutes later I'm panting as Tori fucks me hard with a full length strap on.

"God Tori, fuck!" I moaned out as my head fell back against the pillow. "Fuck, Jade you like that?" Tori moaned as her arms were holding her up on either side of me as she pounded harder hitting my spot repeatedly. I couldn't make out real words as pleasure started to take over my whole body. "T…Toriiiii, fuck baby I'm Fuckkk, I'm cuminggg." I grabbed onto her arms as my nails dug deep into her skin so hard I knew I was making marks. She leaned down and started to suck my pulse point as she moaned onto my neck. I felt myself tighten around the purple dildo before releasing, sending a powerful pleasure up my spine and throughout my entire body. I screamed out in ecstasy as she kept pounding me hard without any mercy to me and I tried to tell her to stop, to slow down but I couldn't form the words. "T…uaaaaaaa….Fua….Torrrrrrrr, staaaappaa fuckkkkkk!" My body finally gave out as it went complete limp under her and that's when she decided to stopped.

"Baby?" She asked with real concern in her voice.

I sat panting hard as I tried to catch my breath. "D..dude, why, why didn't you slow down? Not that I'm complaining." I smiled.

"I didn't know you had came."

"Yeah screaming _"I'm cumming"_ Doesn't tell you something?" I asked as I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair.

"I mean I heard it, but…it didn't click. Sorry babe." She said as she leaned down and kissed me softly.

"I love you Jade." She said as she pulled back and looked me in my eyes.

"I love you to Tori."

_I Love you too…._

* * *

**[Shiloh's & Bailey's Text]**

_The Next Morning_

Bailey: Shiloh?

Shiloh: Bailey! Hi. How are you? I heard about your dad! I'm so happy for you!

Bailey: Hi, I'm great! How are you? And he's….Shiloh he's amazing.

Shiloh: I'm doing great. Just woke up. Roxy is snoring loudly!

Bailey: How are you guys by the way!? Sorry for not listening to your story at lunch the other day. My dad kept texting me.

Shiloh: Oh it's fine lol….and Bailey, I told her I love her last night….

Bailey: You did!? Awwww do you?

Shiloh: I…I really do.

Bailey: That is so great for you! I think Roxy is great for you. She's so sweet.

Shiloh: She is. I just wish my sister would understand that.

Bailey: What do you mean sweetie?

Shiloh: Sweetie? Lol you sound like my mom, but Stallone just absolutely hates that I'm with Roxy. She just really thinks she's going to hurt me, but I know she's not Bailey.

Bailey: Why does she hate that you're with her?

Shiloh: Because remember back all those freaking years ago when Roxy pulled that crap on Stallone with Essence?

Bailey: Ooooooooh yeahhhhh. Well I see why, but people change you know?

Shiloh: I know! But Stallone just doesn't seem to understand that! It's so annoying.

Bailey: Well just talk to her.

Shiloh: Don't you think I tried that. She told me she found girls I could have kids with! She planned my life out!

Bailey: What!? Seriously?

Shiloh: Yes Bailey! It's just like….who died and made you king of me? You know.

Bailey: I understand.

Shiloh: Whatever, anyways, what are you up to?

Bailey: Just hanging with my dad today.

Shiloh: Like every day? Lol

Bailey: Yes lol! Hey we should go out this weekend? We haven't spent time together in a long time.

Shiloh: Karaoke?

Bailey: Sounds good to me. Bring Roxy, I'll bring Marcus.

Shiloh: Sounds like a date.

Bailey: Arighty, but I'll catch you later. I just wanted to see what's up with you.

Shiloh: Alright. See you.

Bailey: Bye Love you

Shiloh: I love you too Bays.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please review!**


	39. Always Say No to Drugs

Chapter 39

_Always Say No to Drugs _

**[Stallone's POV]**

_Wednesday_

"Stallone you ready!?" Tori called out as I stood in my room looking over myself.

Tori just begged and begged to take me on another "date" with her. She still owes me $27.95 from the last one! And that was over 2 years ago! I never forget when someone owes me money.

I opened my door and started down the stairs. "You better be glad I don't have class today." I said as I grabbed my jacket and headed out of the door.

"So where do you want to eat?" Tori asked me once we pulled off.

"What don't you want to eat?" I asked her with a lifted brow.

She thought for a moment. "I don't want sea food."

"Let's eat sea food."

She dropped her mouth in a pouting sort of manner.

"C'mon Tori that was a give-away. We can eat wherever. I could care less." I grabbed my phone from my pocket before I started to look through my text. All of a sudden I saw a hand go over my screen before it was taken from me.

"Dude!"

"Stallone will it kill you just to spend some time with me? I'm only asking for a few hours of your time."

"A few hours I'd never get back." I crossed my arms.

"You know what?" She shook her head as she stopped the car and made an illegal U-turn.

"What are you doing? Where are we going?"

"I'm not going to do this with you. We'll just go home since you have more important things to do Shiloh."

"I'm not Shiloh."

"Whatever." She said as she sped back home. She pulled into the driveway almost hitting my car in the process.

"Tori calm down it's not that-**"**

I was cut off by her door slamming in my face and really she's doing the max.

I got out of the car to see the front door slamming before I shook my head at her stupid tantrum. I finally made it to the door to see her spread out on the couch flipping through the channels with a pout.

"Tori really?"

"Go do what you need to do."

"You are being ridiculous." I said as I hung my jacket.

"I'm being ridiculous? I just want to have lunch with my daughter. Something I haven't done in what? Years? And I'm being ridiculous Stallone? You're just acting like a… like…"

"A bitch." I finished her sentence as I crossed my arms and lifted a brow.

She shot me a look. "I wasn't going to say that. I'd never call you that."

I let my arms fall. "Whatever." I said as I rolled my eyes and waved her off. I sprinted up the stairs and too my room before I slammed my door.

Tori is the one being ridiculous. I mean a lunch date for what!? Like I don't see her every day!?

I threw myself on my bed and apparently dozed off because when I opened my eyes and looked at my phone 2 hours had passed.

I sighed and wiped my eyes as I looked at the 3 unread texts and 2 missed calls from Jade.

_Now what the hell does she want!?_

_**3 Unread Texts**_

_**Sender: Jade**_

**Jade: Stallone! **

**Jade: What the hell did you say to Tori?**

**Jade: You better answers your damn phone! Nobody is playing with you!**

I rolled my eyes.

_Typical Tori runs to Jade._

Me: What?

Jade: Never answer me with what! What the hell happened?

Me: What happened? Everything is fine over here?

Jade: Stallone don't get smacked.

Me: Is that all you're good for?

_**Incoming Caller: Jade**_

Me: "Speak."

Jade: "Stallone what the hell is your problem!?"

Me: "Last time I checked. I didn't have one."

Jade: "It's such a shame that I have to sit here and call my daughter a selfish, self—centered bitch!"

Even though I wasn't going to show it, her words hit something. And I'm not going to lie, it hurt.

Me: "I must have gotten it from you then huh?"

Jade: "Are you asking to be killed when I get home?"

Me: "Once again, is that all you're good for? Jade I'm not a kid anymore. You can't beat me around and tell me what to do. It's not going to scare me anymore."

Jade: "You 'wanna bet?"

Me: "Bets on."

Jade: "Why did you do that to her? Just tell me why?"

Me: "Why did I do what!? What did I do?"

Jade: "All she wanted was a lunch date with you Stallone; to spend one fucking day with her daughter, but no. You can't do that and you wouldn't understand that because everything is always about fucking you!"

Me: "All I said was that I could care less about where we ate, but she took things to the extreme!"

Jade: "Stallone you did more than that and you know your words had more meaning especially talking to your mother! Don't act like you didn't act like Tori was just a waste of your time! Tell me now, what the hell you have better to do?"

I was quiet for a moment.

_Why is everybody ganging up on me!?_

Me: "I have homewo-"

Jade: "-Better to do?"

Me: "Evelyn-"

Jade: "-Better to do?"

Me: "Actually I don't have any mone-"

Jade: "-BETTER TO DO!?"

I sat quiet for a moment with I grinded my teeth together and flared my nose.

_Fuck this_.

**CLICK**

I threw my phone beside me before I sat back and closed my eyes.

_Fuck everybody especially Jade._

_**New Text Message**_

_Ughhhh!_

I grabbed my phone.

_**Sender: Jade**_

**Jade: I never thought I could raise a child to be as selfish as you, but don't worry, because what goes around comes back around. Remember that.**

I rolled my eyes before I gave a huge sigh.

"I'm not selfish." I said to myself aloud. "Tori's just being a huge baby."

I sat back and thought for a moment.

"I'll apologize, whatever!" I screamed to myself before I scooted off of my bed and out of my room.

I walked down the stairs to see Tori fast asleep on the couch. I walked in front of her with my arms crossed to see she had goose bumps on her skin and it was a little chilly in the house.

I walked over to the hallway closet and pulled out a small cover before heading back to the living room. I put the cover over her body softly before sitting down on the floor in front of her.

I stared at her face for a moment that was at peace as she slept and I could see that her eyes were a bit puffy as a result of her most likely crying earlier.

_But why? Did I make her cry? Seriously? Was having lunch with her that damn serious?_

A frown took over my whole face at the thought of me making my mother cry. I would never mean to make her cry. I didn't mean to. I promise I didn't. I do love her, she is my mom. I just didn't want to have stupid lunch. I didn't know it meant that much to her.

I reached over and put some hair that was falling across her face behind her ear.

I sighed. "I'm sorry ma'. I…I didn't mean to make you cry, or to hurt your feelings. I didn't know it was so important to you, but…who am I kidding? Even if I did know how important is was things probably still would have ended out the same way." I brought my knees up to my chest as I hugged myself.

"Jade called me a selfish bitch. And I can't lie Tori, she's right. It's like no matter how hard I try, at the end of the day, I screwed things up, at the end of the day I'm the selfish one. And trust me Tori I've tried not to be. I have." I said as tears filled my eyes.

"I've been trying so hard to prove to Shiloh that I'm not self-centered. To show her that I do have a heart, and that I do care about her. But I just…I'm a screw up. I thought I was doing good until she got so mad at me not long ago about her and Roxy. I'm just trying to make sure she doesn't get hurt Tori and….she's mad at me. What am I doing wrong?"

"What am I doing wrong as a daughter to you? I mean I understand today, I guess I was being a bitch. But…I can tell…you guys, just…I'm not your favorite."

"I told myself I'm going to change and I've tried. I just….I can't. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I never meant it intentionally. And…when you wake up I'd love to have a dinner date with you."

I stood up and leaned over Tori before placing a small kiss on her cheek. "I love you. I'm sorry." I whispered to her as one of my tears fell into her hair.

I swallowed hard before turned and going to the stairs before her voice stopped me.

"I'd love to have dinner with you too Stallone." She said in a quiet voice and I didn't respond. I just smiled to myself before heading up the stairs.

_But I know this dinner will be a long one…._

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

"Yes thank you." Cat said as the waitress walked off with our orders.

"You only have a week and a half left. How do feel?" I asked as I drank from my cup.

"Beck! Use a straw." She whispered as if it was an embarrassment that I drank from the cup. She grabbed a straw from the middle of the table before she threw it at me. I smiled as I rolled my eyes and put the straw in my cup, making sure to bind the edge.

"Oh my gosh it bends!?" She said excitedly as she bent hers, then straightens it then bent it again.

I reached my hand over to stop the little moment she was having with her straw. "Yes Cat, it bends."

She smiled as a giggle came from her.

"So?"

"So what?" She asked taking a drink from her straw.

"I asked how you feel about getting out in under 2 weeks?"

She looked out of the window before she turned back to me. "It's exiting. I'm happy about that."

"How do you feel?"

"I feel so much better. I feel like me."

"Well that's great thing Cat. Where are you going to stay when you get out?"

She looked at me confusedly. "At home."

"Cat, you've been gone for quite a while. The lights are out, water is out, no cable, food most likely needs to be destalked…etcetera."

She looked down for a moment. "I'll just get them back on."

"With what money Cat?"

She smiled. "Oh well Danei-" She stopped as she looked down and frowned. "I don't know."

"What happened to your husband?"

She shrugged. "I…he ran off and…left me. I don't know where he is Beck. You think he's coming back?"

I shook my head "I'm not sure. But you have to get a job now."

"How?"

"You have a college degree don't you? I'll help you find something."

She nodded. "What will I do until then?"

I gave a small shrug. "You can stay with me until you get back on your feet. I'll help you along."

She smiled. "Thank you Beck."

"Nan, don't mention it."

The waitress returned with our food and drink refills before she was off again.

"Kulado forgot how to ride his bike Cat and he's all of a sudden starting to wet the bed."

She let out a small sigh before she played around with her food.

"His teachers tell me he doesn't communicate as much as he use to with his classmates and his work is starting to slack. So I was just wondering if…. If something wrong with him?"

She sighed again. "He has Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, Beck."

"What is that?"

"It's a disorder where children develop okay to age 3 or 4, but then they start losing motor skills, social skills and other things as they get older."

"God, I'm so sorry Cat. Will he be okay, how did he get it?"

She shrugged. "I don't like to talk about it Beck, please." She said as she looked away and I nodded in understanding but there's got to be something we can do to help?

I reached over and grabbed her hand in mine. "Everything will be okay Cat."

She nodded.

After lunch I we drove to a nearby park. On the way we stopped at a local store to purchase bread so we could feed the ducks.

"Ahh!" Cat screamed as a duck splashed and got water all over her.

I laughed as I kept throwing bread to them. We sat side by side as she giggled and threw bread as well.

"Should I dye my hair back red?" She asked as she ate a piece of the bread herself.

I nodded. "Sure. It was nice red." I stated as I threw another piece of bread. "Like old Cat."

She all of a sudden rested her head on my shouldered wrapped her arm around my stomach. "Thank you so much Beck."

"For what?" I chuckled.

"For...being here. For not treating me like the rest of them."

I smiled as I looked down at her. "Well, you're welcome."

She removed her head from my shoulder and removed her arm from around my stomach. "We should get going." She said as she stretched. "It's kind of cold."

I nodded as I kept my eyes on her. "We should."

She turned around and smiled at me and my man instincts just…dah I couldn't help myself.

My lips crashed into hers and I just knew she was going to pull back but why I thought that I don't know. But she didn't. She kissed me back with soft, strawberry tasting lips and I just had to have her more. Before I had a chance to ask for entrance her tongue invited itself into my mouth. She placed her hand softly on my chest as she deepened the kiss. "mmm" She moaned as a shot of…pleasure? Ran through my body at the sound.

"Excuse me? Sorry?"

Cat and I immediately pulled apart to see where the voice that was clearly aimed at us was coming from.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but is that your white Mustang?" A sheriff asked as she pointed to a car that clearly belonged to me.

"Yes?"

"You can't park there. It's a no parking zone. I'm sorry, but you need to move it now."

I nodded. "It's okay we were just going." Cat said as she stood up grabbing my hand and bringing me up with her.

_Going? Just going where?_

The sheriff smiled and tipped her hat before she walked away.

Cat smiled at me as we started to walk towards my car with her hand tightly in mine.

I don't know exactly what's going on in her mind….but I hope it's the same thing that's going on in mine….

_Damn, I'm such a freak…._

* * *

**[Cat's & Shiloh's Text]**

_Thursday_

Unknown: Shiloh?

Shiloh: Yes, who is this?

Unknown: Cat.

Shiloh:….Oh, Hi Cat?

Cat: Shiloh, I just want to say that I'm sorry.

Shiloh: Okay.

Cat: I'm sorry for everything I've done. I never meant to ever put your life in danger and…I was wrong I know. I just wanted to apologize for anything and everything that I put you through. I love you.

Shiloh: Thanks Cat. I appreciate your apology.

Cat: Do you accept it?

Shiloh: I do, because Cat I know you. You are a very kind and loving woman and I knew when you did what you did that you were just out of your mind. After all these years of being around you you've been nothing but another mother to me and I can't say that I don't forgive you. There's always a second chance with me and Cat I love you too.

Cat: Thank you so much Shiloh. It means the world to me.

Shiloh: How are you doing?

Cat: I'm much better, much, much better, but it still hurts. How are you?

Shiloh: I know I can't imagine what you feel. And I'm making it. I've been so much better as well.

Cat: Well that's good Shiloh.

Shiloh: It is. It's nice to hear from you. And thanks for the apology again.

Cat: It's nice to hear from you too and I just owe you so much. Thank you Shiloh. Be good, stay in school.

Shiloh: (smiling emoticon) I will Cat.

Cat: And Shiloh.

Shiloh: Yes?

Cat: Always say no to drugs.

Shiloh: I will. I promise.

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys! Please Review!**


	40. I Wish

**Okay So I know I told you guys that this would be the last chapter...yeah I lied...I found out that the chapter was entirely too long so I split it. So with that being said, the next chapter will be the last! Who's sad? I know I am. :( But all great things come to an end :)**

**Don't worry there will be a brand new story up after this one is over. Who like's Cade & Bori? I do! ;)**

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Chapter 40

_I Wish…_

**[Shiloh's POV]**

_Thursday_

**DING DONG, DING DONG**

I ran from the kitchen and into the living room to answer the door.

I opened the door to see Evelyn standing with a small smile on her face. "Well hello Shiloh. How are you?" She asked as she stood with her arms crossed at the wrist.

"I'm fine, come in." I stood aside so she could walk in. "Stallone's not here right now? She's at school I believe. Shouldn't you be there too?"

She shook her head as she walked into the living room. "I don't have class today. I came to talk to you."

"But...how did you know I'd be here?"

She giggled. "Stallone told me you got suspended from school." She lifted a brow as I put my head down in shame. "Well…."

"What happened, if I may ask?" She asked as she took a seat on the couch.

"Well..." I walked over and sat beside her before I gave a sigh. "This guy was talking mess about...Sunshine."

"Ohhh, I understand." She stated in her soft pure voice.

"So why did you come to see me?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

"Oh I'm fine." I stated in which she gave me _yeah right_ look. I sighed. "I've been good really, Evelyn."

"I heard that you and Roxy are dating now."

I nodded. "We are."

"How's that going?"

I shrugged. "It's okay. She's a very sweet girl, but you know….she's not…she's not Sunshine."

She nodded. "I understand. Do you think she's good for you?"

"I really do."

She smiled. "Well I'm glad you are doing good."

"How are you Evelyn?"

"I'm doing okay Shiloh."

"I hear your mom is doing so much better. Have you seen her?"

She shook her head. "I…no. I can't."

"Are you still upset with her?"

"A little bit."

"You should really talk to her Evelyn. I mean….she's still your mother. She's made a mistake. A huge mistake, but….we are only human. We make mistakes and we either learn from it, or run from it. And it seems to me she's learning from it."

She nodded. "Tori told me I should really give her a chance."

"And you should. I would. She contacted me earlier as a matter of fact. She apologized to me; told me how she's sorry for putting me through anything she's put me through and I of course forgave her. I know she didn't mean anything. Just…picture things from her view. Yes she went out and did crazy stuff but she came back and noticed that her daughter was gone and then she lost your and really her whole family. Everyone turned on her and stuff and man….can you imagine how hard that has to be?"

"But she caused that to herself Shiloh."

"And maybe she did. But have you talked to her about it? Did you get her side?"

She shook her head. "No. I just never wanted to hear it."

"At the end of the day she's your mother Evelyn. She gave you life. Give her a minute to talk to you; to explain herself. Don't interrupt her. Give her a chance okay?"

She nodded.

"Promise me you will?"

She gave a small smile. "I promise you I will."

I nodded before I sat back into the couch.

"You know…you are just like Sunshine. Optimistic, caring and forgiving, smart, beautiful, sweet as can be." She smiled.

"Yeah, I think she rubbed off on me a lot." I chuckled.

Evelyn chuckled as well before her hands went to her face her and her chuckle turned into a soft cry.

I scooted over to her and wrapped my arms around her tight. "Don't cry." I whispered to her. Evelyn is still so fragile about losing her little sister. She loved her so damn much and it makes me wonder….is Cat this upset about losing her daughter?

"I'm sorry." She said as she pulled out of my hug and wiped her eyes. She reached over and put some of my hair behind my ear. "You are such a strong beautiful woman Shiloh."

"You are too."

"Not like you Shi." She leaned in and gave me a kiss on my head. "I love you."

"I love you too Evelyn."

"Well I have to get going. I will call you more often. I just wanted to check in on you okay."

She stood up and I did as well. She opened her arms and captured me into a tight hug.

"Be good Shiloh okay." She said as she walked over to the door.

"Evelyn."

"Yes?" She turned to me.

"Talk to your mother."

She nodded. "I will." She said as she walked out of the front door with a soft close of it.

_I hope everything goes well for her…._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Who is it?" I yelled out as I took my glance from my daughter's obituary that I read every day like something will change and say it's not real.

"It's me."

I instantly ran to the door and yanked it open to see Evelyn standing there with her arms crossed at her wrist.

"Evelyn." I said as I pulled her into a tight hug in which she surprisingly returned.

She pulled away before she closed the door. "We need to talk."

I nodded before I walked over and sat on my bed patting the seat beside me in which she sat down.

"Evelyn-"

She held her hand up to stop me. "Explain. Don't apologize, just….explain."

I nodded before I started at the beginning. I told her everything from the start on how Daniel sold drugs to now. It took about an hour of explaining, arguing, and tears, but it was finally over and now she just sits and stares in space without a word.

"Evelyn…I'm sorry."

She just nodded before she stood to leave. "C'mon." She said as she grabbed my hand.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

The ride to I don't to where was silent and once she pulled into the cemetery it was clear to where we were headed.

She slowly got out of the car with me doing the same.

I started to walked over to the huge gravestone but she stayed leaned up against her car, " Aren't you coming?" I asked in which she just shook her head. "Talk to her. She can hear you."

I nodded as I walked over to the beautiful stone with pictures of my baby engraved into it.

I got to my knees before running my hand over the stone. I sat in pure silence for a few moments as I soaked in that this is so real. I try so hard to pretend it's not. I try to pretend that she's just gone for a little while and that she'll be back, but in reality….my baby isn't coming back. And I'll never see her again.

"_Sunshine, I love you. I never meant to leave you. I never meant to hurt you. I just….I wish you were here. I wish none of this ever happened. I wish we were just a family again. I wish I could see you smile. I wish I could hear you laugh. I wish we could go to the mall, and shop, and act like kids like we use to. I wish I could see you graduate from high school. I wish I could come visit you at your first job. I wish I could send you off to college and cry and cry as I watch you leave. I wish I could see you graduate from college. I wish I could see you get married. I wish I could see you have kids. I wish I could see you again. I wish you were here. But wishing is useless. I'll never see you again. I'll never see you smile again. I'll never hear you laugh again. You're gone. And…I didn't even get to say goodbye. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I can never say I'm sorry enough. I love you so much. I miss you baby girl. I love you. Just please don't be mad at me."_

I let my tears fall onto her stone before I reached into my hair and pulled out the red flower that she held onto in the middle picture of the stone.

I gently laid it down right in front of the many other flowers that were put down as well, but that one stood out the most.

"Rest in peace my Little Love. Watch over your sister and brother." I put my hand to my mouth before kissing it and placing it on the stone.

"_I love you always."_

* * *

**[Stallone's POV]**

"Thanks." Tori said as the waitress took our orders and brought of out our drinks.

"Thanks for doing this with me Stallone." Tori said as she opened up her straw.

I shook my head. _She shouldn't have to thank me for this. This is something I should be always willing to do. She's my mother and I love her._

"No, sorry for being a dick yesterday."

Tori and I were going to go to dinner yesterday but Jade came home wanting to cook so we changed our dinner date to today.

She nodded as she took a drink of her water.

"So…." I lifted a brow.

Tori smiled. "How's life Stallone?"

I shrugged. "Same as always. Nothing great."

"What's that mean exactly?"

"Same bitch I've always been. So of course I have people pissed off with me. Starting with you."

"Stop that. You aren't a…that. Who's pissed with you? I'm not."

"Yes you are. You were yesterday."

"No I wasn't. I was just upset."

"Pissed."

"Stallone-"

"-I'm really sorry Tori. I am."

"It's alright. Really don't worry about it." She said as she reached over and put her hand on mine.

"No, I mean I never should have treated you the way I did. I should never be treating you the way that I do. I'm so….I take you for granted Tori. For some people the only thing they want is their mother and here I am throwing you off to the side like your trash, but you're not. You mean more to me than you think you do and one day, you won't be here and…I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I love you Tori no matter what I've ever said. You mean the world to me. I love you."

I watched Tori smile as tears came into her eyes. "I love you too Stallone. It's okay."

I smiled "Crybaby."

Her mouth dropped. "Am not!"

"Are too."

"Are not!"

"Offended?" I lifted a brow.

"No!"

"Sounds like it?" I smiled.

She stuck her tongue out at me with an ugly face as I laughed.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"By the way you still owe me $27.95."

"Do not!"

I laughed. "Ok with the mushy stuff."

"Who else do you think is mad at you?" She asked.

"Shiloh definitely and Roxy."

"Why do you think they are?"

"Man I don't know." I said as I removed my hands from under hers to grab my drink.

"I think you may have an idea?" She lifted a brow.

I sighed. "All I'm trying to do is make sure Roxy doesn't hurt Shiloh."

"Ahh, Stallone what did you tell her?" She scrunched her eyes.

I scratched my head. "All I told her was that Roxy isn't the best one for her."

"Stallone, baby, no."

"No what? Look I promised her I would try harder to be there for her and I'm trying! And now she is mad at me for like…fucking life!"

"Look at what you told her though Stallone. Shiloh lost her love, and now she's found someone new and she's happy. Have you noticed how happy she is with Roxy? And I know you are trying to protect her from getting hurt, but telling her hat Roxy isn't the one for her will just hurt her more."

"But you can't trust Roxy Tori and you know that! I don't want to see her hurt!"

"I know you don't, but Stallone, I think you are the one hurting her."

"What!?"

"Baby, she's happy. Roxy seems serious about her, trust me Jade had a talk with her already. Roxy really likes Shiloh. I doubt she is going to hurt her. But instead of telling Shiloh that Roxy isn't the one for her, how about you support her? She needs support. Not you telling her who she can and can not date. That's not your job Stallone. As her sister you always stand behind her and support her for whatever she chooses. Be her motivator, her confidence. Give her guidance. Love her. Leave the rest up to us. Okay?"

I nodded. "I just…I never can do anything right when it comes to her."

"So I'm guessing Roxy is mad because you've been telling her not to date Shiloh?"

I nodded.

"Stallone, just stay out of that okay. Don't worry about any of that."

I sighed. "So…you know…what's up with you?"

Tori smiled. "Is that your way of asking how I'm doing?"

"Sure."

"I'm doing fine."

"Hey I saw your picture in a Vogue Magazine. Top 10 Rank 3….Congrats."

She smiled. "Thanks."

The waitress came back with our order before she disappeared again.

"What else is new Vicky?"

"Vicky?" She chuckled. "Nothing really. Umm…Jade got a new blow-dryer."

I looked at her from the tops of my eyes. "Real-ly…..?"

She laughed. "Nothing is new."

I laughed. "I can see that."

She smiled. "I love you Stallone. So much."

I smiled back. "Yeah? I love me too." I looked down before I stuck a peak at her from the corner of my eye.

I laughed as the face she was making. "I'm kidding. I love you too ma'."

Actually….I love my whole family.

_Now to get things right with Shiloh…._

* * *

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	41. As Sweet as a Dream

Chapter 41

_As Sweet as a Dream_

**[Stallone's POV]**

_Friday Night_

Karaoke was packed. It seems like every freaking young body in L.A. was here tonight and there's not even any seats available.

"Where are we supposed to sit?"

"We can just stand…" Evelyn started to say before she was interrupted.

"-Hell naw. Hold up, let me get us something. C'mon." Jaylen stated.

Me and Evelyn shrugged as we followed Jaylen to a table in the front of the stage.

I watched as she fixed her hair and fixed her clothes.

"Hey there." She smiled at a table full of guys who turned to all if us and smiled.

"Well hey girls."

"The place is kind of full so we were just wondering if we could sit with you guys?" Jaylen asked as she twirled the end of her blonde hair and gave a wink with one of her beautiful dark blue eyes.

_She's so full of it…._

"Ahh, of course! Yes!" One of the guys said as he moved over to make room. "I'm Nick." Jaylen sat down beside him as me and Evelyn sat on the other side where the other two guys made room.

"Jaliena." She stated as she smiled at him. I shot her a look because usually by now Jaylen would ignore the guy since she got what she wanted, but she seemed to take slight interest in him. Not to mention she gave him her birth name.

"That's a beautiful name."

"Thank, but everyone calls me Jaylen."

"Ummm, Jaylen." I said as I gave her a mysterious look at her great kindness towards this guy.

I barley can talk to Jaylen for three seconds without getting cussed out or called out of name. And for her to talk to this guy with a smile and nice manners is very not her.

"Stallone I think you should get Evelyn something from the snack bar."

"What? Why Shoul-"

"-Get her something from the snack bar." She said threw gritted teeth before she returned her sweet and loving smile back to Nick. I stood up with a mugged face before I walked off to the small concession stand in the back without even asking Evelyn what she would like.

"Hey, whatchu' need?"

"Yeah just two sodas." I told the guy who was working the stand.

"That'll be $3.25."

I reached into my pocket before pulling out the money and handing it over.

_**Keep drinking coffee stare me down across the table while I look outside**_

_**So many things I'd say if only I were able**_

_**But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by**_

_**You got opinions man we're all entitled to 'em**_

_**But I never asked**_

_**So let me thank you for your time and try not to waste anymore of mine**_

_**Get out of here fast**_

"Here you go ma'am." The guy said as I picked my nails and listened to the popular song by Sara Bareilles being sung in the background.

"Thanks."

I walked back over to the table and took a seat handing Evelyn her drink before my glance turned to the stage and I froze when I saw my sister with the mic. She stared straight at me as if her song was directed to me and as if she knew I was sitting there the entire time. What the hell is she even doing here?

_**You sound so innocent all full of good intent**_

_**Swear you know best**_

_**The way you expect me to jump right on board with you **_

_**And ride off into your delusional sunset**_

_**I'm not the one who's lost with no direction oh**_

_**But you'll never see**_

_**You're so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps**_

_**You've got the talking down just not the listening**_

_Wait what?_

_**And who cares if you disagree?**_

_**You are not me**_

_**Who made you king of anything?**_

_**And you dare tell me who to be**_

_**Who died and made you king of anything?**_

I stood up and walked over to the edge of the stage so that I was looking up at her as she looked down at me.

_**All my life I tried to make everybody happy **_

_**While I just hurt and hide**_

_**Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide**_

I crossed my arms as I gave her a smirk.

_**And who cares if you disagree?**_

_**You are not me **_

_**Who made you king of anything?**_

_**And you dare tell me who to be**_

_**Who died and made you king of anything?**_

"Shiloh."

_**And who cares if you disagree?**_

_**You are not me **_

_**Who made you king of anything?**_

_**And you dare tell me who to be**_

_**Who died and made you king of anythinnnng?**_

I sighed as I tilted my head.

_**Let me hold your crown babe**_

_**Oh ohhhhh**_

The crowd cheered loud for her as Roxy ran onstage and kissed her which made everyone cheer and whistle louder.

She looked down at me in which I smiled and nodded.

"_Okay." _I mouthed to her before she jumped off of the stage and stood in front of me.

"As long as you're happy. That's all I want for you Shiloh. That's all I'll ever want. I love you." I stated before she smiled and embraced me in a huge hug that I never wanted to let her out of.

* * *

Shiloh pulled out of my hug before she turned around. "Ari!" She called out to her daughter who put a huge smile on her face and ran over to where we were standing.

Her daughter ran over and jumped into her arms. "Do you have something to say to your aunt?" Shiloh said as she held her tight.

"Happy birthday Aunt 'Lone."

I smiled before I gave her a kiss. "Thank you sweetie, go play."

Shiloh put her down before she ran to the other kids.

Today is my 27th birthday party that Shiloh threw for me at her house in her backyard. It's more like a barbecue party and the place is packed.

"Happy birthday baby."

My eyes got wide as I turned around to see my parents standing behind me. It's been a little while since I've seen them since Evelyn and I moved to San Diego for her job.

I embraced them both in a hug before I grabbed the gift from them. "Thank you guys!"

"How have you been?" Tori asked as she grabbed onto my hands.

I smiled. "I've been great Ma'. How are you guys?" I asked looking over at Jade.

"Same ol." She smiled.

"Where's Stavlyn and Jericho?" Tori asked in reference of my own 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son.

I pointed to her where Stavlyn played tag with her 3 year old cousin Ariana'. "And Jericho is…..over there with Evelyn." I pointed.

Jade put her hand on my shoulder before kissing me on the head and walking over to her grandkids with Tori following behind.

"Happy birthday bitch!" I rolled my eyes as I turned to see a very pregnant Jaylen standing behind me.

"Thank you. Where's my gift!?"

"Uh right here!" She pointed to herself and I laughed. Jaylen is a gift. A very special one.

I waved her off before I walked over to my wife.

"Sit down so you can open our gifts." She told me as she pulled over a chair.

I took a seat as Shiloh announced to everyone I was about to open their gifts so everyone could put their eyes on me and as I just looked at everyone I couldn't help the smile that took over my face as I looked at the family that I belong to.

_And it's one of the many blessings that I count each day..._

* * *

**_[Epilogue]_**

_Essence_

The girl finally decided to leave everyone the hell alone. I haven't heard from her since my wedding years ago. She congratulated me and that was the last of her.

_Jaylen_

So how about that Nick guy she met at Karaoke those years ago, she married him! She's actually pregnant now with a little boy. I'm so happy for her. That's my girl.

_Andre_

I never see that man or his kids. I mean I have no idea what happened to them. They fell off a long time ago. Nobody stays in contact.

_Beck & Cat_

Beck and Cat. Let me tell you one of the cutest couples ever. Did you know that they've gotten married!? It was one of the most beautiful weddings, besides mine, that I've ever seen. Cat is so happy. She's so bright and...just happy. She's dyed her hair this killer color red. I have to shield my eyes when she walks in the room, but I have to admit it's nice on her. Her and her daughter are finally at peace. They talk almost everyday. I believe their relationship is so much closer now than ever before. Beck, he's so happy as well. I can tell he's so much in love with that girl. He just spoils her so much. They now live together in a beautiful house here in L.A. Beck still works with acting agencies and even got Cat on with him while she also works with young troubled teens making sure they stay away from drugs and seek better things in life. That's a happy happy story for them.

_Kulado_

As hard as it to say, little Kulado passed away about 5 years ago when he was only 10. He had a really bad seizure one night and….it just took his life. He was becoming sick at times and really he had to be taken care of 24 hours 7 days of the week. You couldn't leave him alone for any minute. Cat and Evelyn were of course devastated. But they had so many people by their side helping them through and with very little counseling they made it through. Nothing can be worst than watching two of your children pass, or watching two of your siblings pass but Cat and Evelyn are very strong believe it or not and they got through that hard time.

_Bailey & Trina_

Bailey, as everyone else, has also married. She of course married her perfect little boyfriend Marcus. She has a 4 year old daughter she named Faithlyn. I have to say Faithlyn is so fuckin' cute. You just want to die from her cuteness. Bailey also has held a long relationship with her father and mother. She doesn't live far from us since she also moved to San Diego. So we see her a lot. She's a really happy girl as well as her mother.

_Jade & Tori_

My parents are just boring as always. There's not even anything to say about them. I mean a few years ago they had the biggest fight I've ever seen. Apparently Tori beat the crap out of Jade and I never got the details on why. When I try to slickly bring it up into a conversation I get waved off….so….I don't know anything about that there. But they are as happy as ever now. So in love, blah, blah blah them.

_Roxy & Shiloh_

I have to say I was so wrong about Roxy. Roxy has become the love of my sister's life and also my best friend again. She's been nothing but so loving to my sister. She's always there for her and…she's great. Her and Shiloh have actually gotten married as well. She has a 3 year old daughter named Ariana, and a baby boy on the way that Shiloh is carrying that they are going to name Hollywood. Shiloh and I have become best friends. She runs to me with anything and I do the same with her. I'm so glad I have my sister in my life and I can't believe I missed out on having her in my life all these years.

_Evelyn & I_

As for me and Evelyn, I've never been happier in my entire life. We've gotten married and now we have two beautiful children together. Stavlyn, 5 which we gave birth to and Jericho he's 2, a baby we adopted. And you know what's crazy? Our daughter Stavlyn looks just like her aunt Sunshine. She's so beautiful. Same smile, dimples, she's smart, it's like she's a mini Sunshine and Evelyn absolutely loves her, of course why wouldn't she?

So where will life take us from here? Who knows? Peaceful days? I doubt it. Probably more drama right around the corner, but we'll pray that won't happen. I've learned so much growing up with this family and the main thing that I learned was that….I actually have one who loves me, and after everything I've been through and the way I've treated them through the years I've noticed that it's just my way of showing them that..._ I love them in just the same way._

_When all we see,_

_is darkness and gloom._

_We feel totally helpless,_

_while running from doom._

_We eventually confront,_

_our inner brick wall._

_Our choice is to break it,_

_or give up and fall._

_We may search for our strengths,_

_waiting patiently deep inside._

_From life's obstacles,_

_there's no reason to hide._

_All our challenges,_

_we must embrace and defeat._

_As we open our eyes,_

_our true purpose we'll greet._

_Let's take a step outside,_

_our routine comfort zone._

_This will carve a path,_

_where our goals we shall own._

_Our personal challenges,_

_quite difficult may seem._

_But, if we believe in ourselves,_

_life will be as sweet as a dream._

* * *

**131 Chapters, over 250,000 words, and over 800 reviews later this book has finally come to an end. I want to thank each and every one of you who followed my story since An Undefeated Battle. Never have I thought I would write this far, but you guys are some great motivators. I love you all so very very much. **

**I never wanted this story to end, but all great things come to an end. I don't know if this is the ending you guys expected, but this is it. I really, really hope you all enjoyed this story and I'm thinking of posting another one but it all depends on if you guys want me to.**

**Everyone whose read! PLEASE EVERYONE WHOSE READ THIS please review and let me know what you think. It's up to you guys if I post the new Bori & Cade FutureFiction Story I've started on. **

**Anyways, thanks again so much for all the support and reading my first...book lol. It's a blessing to have you readers who motivated me. **

**I love you guys! Thanks again I just can;t say it enough. **

**Please review!**

_(poem from anitapoems . com)_


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